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RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/18/2007 4:18:08 AM

MamaDomme

Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline

When I was first introduced to my now sub, he was introduced as a Dom. I laughed at the person that introduced us and asked how on earth that man could possibly think he was Dom. He was very submissive in every way... he wore leather pants and that was the ONLY thing he had Dom about him--- and I know plenty of subs that wear leather. The man followed me around like a little puppy dog... it was so cute.

I've actually grown quite fond of him and his submissive ways. He is always ready to jump to please me. I think I'll keep him. >>B.E.G.<<

(in reply to emdoub)

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Post #: 41

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/18/2007 6:14:16 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Like they say, it can be situational....

When i am on my "own" flitting about the world, i most commonly run into others thinking i am a Domme. (Not sure how this holds true as most arent really into the lifestyle) Yet stick me with a competent D types and the opposite is true. Stick me with incompetent D types and you will see me with both D and S types. Put me around S types and i am most assuredly dominant.

I nail it down to effiency. Two S types are not going to get alot done. Some one has to lead. One S type walking around is just point blank prey. An S type with an incompetenet D type - aye well thats just a jumblefuck.

Either that or i'm stuck in a box that some one always has to lead.

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Post #: 42

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/18/2007 7:54:47 AM

tade

Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline

Not to get too philosophical or cheesy, but how does a predator know which animals are food and which ones aren't worth wasting the energy on. People, well some people at least are very in tune with their environment and as Orion stated early on instincts matter. Sure the body language, eye contact and the like are tells, but only if you can pick up on them. Some can hunt while others shop at the grocery store...

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(in reply to Devilslilsister)

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Post #: 43

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/18/2007 10:29:49 AM

SlaveSubtoserve

Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

....think it a lot of unconscious/subconscious signalling going on here also during some of these magic first meets.

(in reply to tade)

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Post #: 44

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/18/2007 3:13:32 PM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

many good answers here..but also quite a few naive ones...saying the Dom saw it in the eyes...on a drawing and so on.....what you want to hear - you hear, i think...s...

And as many has said....a lot of these "Doms" - and i use that term very loosely - probably say the same to 100 girls....of course He is gonna hit the nail sooner or later.

i am submissive by nature - but my every day life forces me to be quite dominant. i run my own company - and other things i do - does not give me the luxury of taking the submissive side - and let others decide over my head...i make touch decisions based on my smarts - not my BDSM preference...if i can say it that way...s...

on the other hand...some men do bring out the sub/slave in me so easily - and it is quite interesting when that dance starts. i am very strongwilled and not one that "gives in" easily - but when it does happen - it is 100% devotion from my side...

i remember one time i was out traveling. i was sitting in a small restaurant enjoying a meal all by myself - reading. And no..not the Story of O..lol...was an ordinary book - and this tall, black man entered the premises. i looked up - as i normally do when people walk in - and i met His eyes. He looked directly at me - and i smiled and lowered my eyes, and went back to reading...not a word was said....Suddenly He stood by my table - and i looked up...but only to His chin..and then to His eyes...He was dead serious..not even a small smile.....then this low chuckling - lHe eaned in slowly - and whispered - "such a pretty slavegirl"...i swear...in that moment i would have followed if He asked me...and He was a total stranger! The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. i did not have a collar on...nothing that even remotely showed my interest in D/s - or BDSM...but He saw right through me. And i also consider myself to be somewhat intelligent - and not taking stupid chances...but this hit me so deep i was struggling to breathe...

And no...the rest of the story...is mine...*L*...

So..my conclusion...after my rambling is - Once in a while...you can see/feel it...you just know...

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Post #: 45

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/21/2007 10:32:59 PM

curiouspet55

Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I've always wondered about this...mainly, thinking to myself 'can people tell'...hoping the right guy can. I like to be in control of things, and am very talkative and outgoing, so a lot of people assume that if I were ever in to BDSM I would be a Dominant. It is only when someone looks closer that they'd recognize how much I hate being in control all the time, that it is only because I don't feel like I can give it up (lack of trust) that I have it, and how much I long to surrender it... I don't know, not sure if those are things easily recognizable through observation, or if one would have to know me pretty well first.

(in reply to Wyrd)

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Post #: 46

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 1/21/2007 10:58:20 PM

subnstudent

Posts: 105
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

I can't remember for the life of me where I saw this, but somewhere I read that a slave is 'supposed to' avert her eyes when speaking to her Master. Now, whatever works for you is what works for you, but it's possible that the man mentioned in badlilthang's post noticed that, and took it as a que.

I have a few habits and mannerisms that I know betray my submissive nature: averting my eyes a lot, tendency to walk behind someone a bit off center when I'm running errands with him/her, tendency not to sit down or use furniture unless invited to, etc. If someone knew what to look for, with me at least, it's fairly obvious. Even if I wasn't usually wearing a collar!

Curiouspet,
I think your Mr. Right would recognize your submissive qualities; that's part of being Mr. Right, no?

(in reply to curiouspet55)

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Post #: 47

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 2/20/2007 11:53:25 AM

ShogunSensei

Posts: 38
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

If we told you, it would ruin the intrigue wouldn't it? *grins*

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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Post #: 48

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 2/20/2007 6:52:27 PM

QuietDom

Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline

We need a shorthand name for the ability. Homosexuals, for example, refer to the ability to detect other homosexuals as "gaydar." I propose that we hereafter refer to the ability to detect subs as "sonar."

(in reply to ShogunSensei)

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Post #: 49

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 2/20/2007 7:46:15 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: witch693

what is it about Doms that makes them sense sub/slave traits in people ??

For the same reason that a lot of subs sense Dom traits in people -- it's what we're attracted too.

PS..i'd like of those shirts too, please???? (lol)

PPS..i'm usually "accused" of not being a very good sub cuz i don't lower my eyes, drop to knees upon meeting, and actually have the nerve to express an opinion (yup...lil ole me with an opinion, if y'all can imagine..lol). and..just for the record, i look everyone in the eye when we meet/talk. Growing up in my house it was called "good manners" and/or "paying attention", and failure to do so usually got me yelled at..lol.

cheers,
jiminin

< Message edited by krikket -- 2/20/2007 7:51:27 PM >

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When your heart speaks take good notes.

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RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 2/20/2007 7:52:21 PM

BabyNyla

Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

Hmmm ... I would like to know the secret too. When I met my hubby I was a Domme ... and we spent so much time talking as Domme and sub (although it turned out he wasn't sub at all, but Dom) ... he knew I was sub when he met me and I got played like a fiddle and fell for him so badly and am now so happy as a slave. I often re-read our beginning conversations to figure out how he read me so well and I had no idea of what was coming ...

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Post #: 51

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 2/20/2007 8:54:10 PM

ShogunSensei

Posts: 38
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: badlilthang

many good answers here..but also quite a few naive ones...saying the Dom saw it in the eyes...on a drawing and so on.....what you want to hear - you hear, i think...s...

And as many has said....a lot of these "Doms" - and i use that term very loosely - probably say the same to 100 girls....of course He is gonna hit the nail sooner or later.

i am submissive by nature - but my every day life forces me to be quite dominant. i run my own company - and other things i do - does not give me the luxury of taking the submissive side - and let others decide over my head...i make touch decisions based on my smarts - not my BDSM preference...if i can say it that way...s...

on the other hand...some men do bring out the sub/slave in me so easily - and it is quite interesting when that dance starts. i am very strongwilled and not one that "gives in" easily - but when it does happen - it is 100% devotion from my side...

i remember one time i was out traveling. i was sitting in a small restaurant enjoying a meal all by myself - reading. And no..not the Story of O..lol...was an ordinary book - and this tall, black man entered the premises. i looked up - as i normally do when people walk in - and i met His eyes. He looked directly at me - and i smiled and lowered my eyes, and went back to reading...not a word was said....Suddenly He stood by my table - and i looked up...but only to His chin..and then to His eyes...He was dead serious..not even a small smile.....then this low chuckling - lHe eaned in slowly - and whispered - "such a pretty slavegirl"...i swear...in that moment i would have followed if He asked me...and He was a total stranger! The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. i did not have a collar on...nothing that even remotely showed my interest in D/s - or BDSM...but He saw right through me. And i also consider myself to be somewhat intelligent - and not taking stupid chances...but this hit me so deep i was struggling to breathe...

And no...the rest of the story...is mine...*L*...

So..my conclusion...after my rambling is - Once in a while...you can see/feel it...you just know...

Of course there will be those that use the same approach with everyone they meet. When I know I am speaking with a submissive or slave I tend to simply say hello. *chuckles*.

Power and energy exchange is what happens on both conscious and unconscious levels within the lifestyle. There are dominants who you immediately want to follow or kneel before...sometimes without knowing exactly why. Maybe it's how you are feeling at the moment.

I believe that outside interactions aren't really any different. Cloak them in Vanilla if you like. Life is life. I have met submissives as you described in public and approached with a whisper in their ear. I have also met submissives who weren't yet aware of their nature yet who "felt" that way to me.

Since we exchange power and energy, why would it be surprising that it "click" on a unconscious level? Yes, I agree it's a "feeling"...I just know.

(in reply to badlilthang)

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Post #: 52

RE: recognizing sub/slave traits - 2/21/2007 11:07:57 AM

justfortheforums

Posts: 40
Joined: 1/31/2007
Status: offline

i wish it were that easy to figure out. i have DOMS tell me i am sub..others tell me i am DOMME. i like to think of myself as a sub and can't imagine being a DOMME to anyone. maybe it's what i do for a living that throws them off....

(in reply to emdoub)

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Post #: 53