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Now what - 1/21/2007 1:30:19 PM

FLDisciplinarian

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/7/2006
Status: offline

I am a switch. Has been sub and then married a sub who has passed. Recently meet and been serving a Domme. She knows I am and have been switch but we haven't discussed my having my own sub.

She wants me to accept her collar, and that is fine, but I want to collar a sub.

We attend munches that have a dom/domme discussion group and a sub group which I normally attend, but where do I go to get help introducint a female sub into the scene.

It is not a sexual ( intercourse) relationship now or wanted, but orgasims as an oral, manual or toy use are not unknown.

Too much information probably but looking for any guidance.

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RE: Now what - 1/21/2007 8:20:16 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

The fact that you haven't had serious discussions means that you aren't ready for a serious commitment.

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(in reply to FLDisciplinarian)

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RE: Now what - 1/21/2007 8:26:49 PM

GirlWithInk

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline

Seems to me the first step would be to talk with the one you're involved with now, before you start looking for someone else. Suggest going out to some neutral turf - go get coffee, do dinner, whatever, just go somewhere public enough that neither of you will be tempted to yell and get overdramatic easily, and explain to her that while you're glad to wear her collar, you need to satisfy your own dominant urges too, and that you want her help and encouragement with this. Perhaps she'll have suggestions as to where you might start looking, perhaps she'll confess to some desire on her own part to switch, perhaps she'll tell you that you'll have to look on your own because she doesn't want to know about it, perhaps she'll flat out tell you no... but then you'll know for sure where she stands and she will know that it's important to you.

If you aren't comfortable bringing it up with her, perhaps you should re-evaulate the relationship you have with her rather than trying to find someone else to add to the mix.

(in reply to FLDisciplinarian)

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RE: Now what - 1/21/2007 9:56:51 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Sit down and write out what you want in each of your relationships and what you have to offer each. Then, show this to the Dominant you wish to have a relationship with so that she can see if you really are a match. If so, then she'll have no problem with you pursuing a submissive no matter if you're collared to her or not.

Master Fire

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(in reply to FLDisciplinarian)

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RE: Now what - 1/24/2007 5:07:40 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

OP: Sounds like youre putting the cart before the horse. Discuss first, see if you are compatible, then consider collaring if things seem to be working out. I dont switch however, I think common sense applies to all.

Best of luck
LBO

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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RE: Now what - 1/24/2007 6:22:26 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Do you want the power of the dom role or are you more interested in topping. Because you can top without domming. Or you can co-top for play only with your domme. There are many ways to satisfy both of you but only if you start with honest communication.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

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