RE: snappy comebacks (Full Version)

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LostinAlaska -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/2/2007 12:31:29 PM)

Here's one I used to use on people that were annoying me with they're complaints even though I made it PAINFULLY obvious that I would like to listen to them talk, just not whine.

"Wait, hold it. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and-- *slap*"

They stand there confused just long enough for you walk away satisfied with the feeling of the numbing stupid leaving your ears.

Here's another one that works good.

"Was there some sort of accident? Or were you born retarded?"

I got my brother with that once, and he knew I insulted him but he was still laughing so hard he couldn't get mad. Even though he would have.

Heh.

Evan



Vendaval -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/2/2007 3:15:41 PM)

"When you are up to you ass in alligators,
it is sometimes difficult to remember that
your first objective was to drain the swamp!"
 
"Ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free!"
 
"I have PMS and a loaded handgun.  What was your question?"
 
"Exactly what part of 'stay the Hell away from me' did you
not understand?"
 
"You, out of the gene pool!"
 



MistressYlwa -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/3/2007 9:52:01 PM)

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

Not all men are annoying.  Some are dead.
 
If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't run a pissant's go-cart two laps around a Cheerio.
 
If I were as intelligent as you, I'd probably think the same thing...but I earned an advanced degree.

You'll never be half the man your mother was.
 
I like your approach. Now let me see your departure.
Your better at sex than anyone. Now all you need is a partner. Some people are stuck on stupid, and eaten up with a dumb ass. 
I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?



Wulfchyld -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/3/2007 9:54:50 PM)

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like unconsciousness!



SirRober -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 12:01:57 AM)

Do I stutter when I talk or do you stutter when you listen..



sensualmagirl -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 12:06:59 AM)

I'm not good at snappy comebacks, usually come up with them about 1/2 an hour after they left... LOL... but, I particularly liked this one I heard on a tv show in the 80s (ok, ok, I admit it, Miami Vice) directed towards someone who goes on and on about a subject (much like myself actually!)
Are you going somewhere with this, or are you just taking a lap?


My fathers favorite when we'd ask where he was going:
I'm going crazy, wanna come with me?

and my other favorite about someone having a bad day:
Did you swallow a monster? 
or
What crawled up your ass and died?

and of course, an all-time classic "piss-off" statement:
Sit on it and spin, baby!



Queenalice -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 1:47:53 AM)

Given to a friend of mine after a bad break up.

"Just remember, He's a bastard, and someday, he'll spontaniously combust."



Saratov -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 7:04:36 AM)

Nobody ever raped a 38.



untamedshysub -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 7:13:01 AM)

I got your invation to the whine party but I will not be attending.
you cannot piss on me and call it rain.
The complaint dept is open from 9:00am-9:05am every other Saturday unless its raining, or snowing, or the sun is out come back then.



Sternhand4 -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 10:51:46 AM)

When dealing with people who have an IQ of room tempature..
I ask if they  rode on a short or long bus to school.
If the have ever worn a helmet, without being on a team.
Or if the have ever been called " special " by someone other than their mom.

S




Majik -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 11:54:23 AM)

One I always used at work.....'I don't have PMS i'm just naturally mean'.
'Don't think twice you didn't get it the first time you won't get it the second time either.'



gooddogbenji -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 12:00:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov

Do you kiss your grandmother w/ that mouth?!


Nope.  I kiss yours.

Yours,


benji



Wulfchyld -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/4/2007 1:54:42 PM)

If I wanted any lip from you I would peel it off my zipper.



sloki -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/24/2007 11:53:09 PM)

"Sir, I am ten times the man you will ever be and ten times the woman you will ever have."





FukinTroll -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/25/2007 1:49:29 AM)

LOL!!!!



Saratov -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/25/2007 7:58:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov

Do you kiss your grandmother w/ that mouth?!


Nope.  I kiss yours.

Yours,


benji


[sm=banghead.gif]   That must be where she got that disease that killed her. [sm=paddle.gif]



szobras -> RE: snappy comebacks (2/25/2007 9:05:18 AM)

Well, As far as 'just friends", I am pretty full up right now, but if someone dies I'll certainly consider moving you up the list.



LotusSong -> RE: snappy comebacks (3/1/2007 3:46:58 AM)

Cry me a river, build a bridge and GET OVER IT!
 
(from a bumper sticker I saw yesterday)



redsky -> RE: snappy comebacks (3/1/2007 3:55:02 AM)

(my Masters favourite)

'want some cheese to go with that whine?'

im just glad He doesnt say it often...



redsky -> RE: snappy comebacks (3/1/2007 3:57:26 AM)

my favourite is

'i speak English but am also fluent in *Bullshit* so dont bother'

well, i had to come up with something to reply to all the fakers/wannabes on here & Yahoo.



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