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Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 1:45:51 PM

DaddyBEAST

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/28/2007
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Subs/Slaves, what is more attractive to you in a Dom/me?

Experience or Common Interests?

Experience: # of years as a Dom/me, # of D/s relationships under the belt, etc.

Common Interests: aside from BDSM, sharing appreciation, interest, and love for things such as art, writing, poetry, same music tastes, fashion, movies, etc.

Post #: 1

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 2:16:07 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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Common interests are more important to me, along with similar or close to similar values, philosophies on life, etc.

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Post #: 2

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 2:24:24 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

To me both are equally important. Common interests outside of BDSM is always good. Master and i have been together almost a year and we never run out of things to talk about even though i see him every day. But varied interested are also good because you can learn something new.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 3

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 2:25:13 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyBEAST
Subs/Slaves, what is more attractive to you in a Dom/me?

Experience or Common Interests?

IN GENERAL, common interests. That being said, experience at this point is fairly important as well, since many of my interests require a certain level of experience to enjoy.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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Post #: 4

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 2:27:01 PM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

    For me, it's neither.   It depends on the person.   # of years and # of relationships can be a good thing or a bad thing.   If He's trained 100 online submissives and has 10 years experience online---that doesn't say anything about the quality of experience.
As for common interest, I sort of like someone who has some interests outside of my own.   Some of those interest, I may come to enjoy myself and if everything we have is completely compatible I may not find room for growth.

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Post #: 5

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 2:36:00 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Neither. I would be drawn by the level of imagination :)

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I'm not inflatable.

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Post #: 6

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 2:40:47 PM

Hissltviolet

Posts: 44
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

...<smiles>...

...this slave has spent 5 years to get where she is today...most happily collared to the 'perfect' Master...uh-huh...she knows...she is prejudiced...<happy dancing>...but...she can answer this question...knowing what 'worked' for her...

...she spent a great deal of time interacting with a reasonable assortment of Dominants in that 5 years...each one striking enough of a cord in her for her to open herself to the 'possibilities'...ALL...experienced and not so experienced...Some with more in 'common' (excluding BDSM) than Others...leaving her with more understanding of the 'dynamics' that 'she' needed to find her personal happiness...

...above everything and all else...she needed a Master that she could serve...and...FOR THIS GIRL...that does not simply mean 'jumping through hoops'...
she needed and wanted a Master that was looking for a 24/7...365...dynamics constantly in place...protocol 'strict'...self assured and confident Master...vast 'experience' was not neccessarily a criteria for her...but she decided that because she was so 'inexperienced' herself...it would probably be 'better' for B/both if He was...

...she could have...would have...and DID...serve very successfully...Master's that she did not have very much in common with...but...it was her personal experience that having little in common outside of 'BDSM' caused 'voids' in the whole relationship...not the 'fault' of E/either...just the way it was...

...S/some do not need much...O/others need a lot...every 'connection' is unique...
this girl is glad that she was careful in her 'attachments'...to take her time so that she did not go in 'blindly'...nor make 'commitments' she would not be able to keep...
she NEVER wanted to 'hurt' Anyone...and...she suffered enough of her own...

...<blushes>

...long story short...FOR HER...what ultimately met her needs was the 'special' and very 'rare' blend of experience and common interests...and...she considers herself most fortunate to have found that...she had almost given up...about to close her profile down and walk away (at least for a while)...when she opened one last message and there "HE" was...

...she shudders still...to think of almost missing Him...!!! FATES BE PRAISED !!!...

_____________________________

ETERNALLY/INFERNALLY
Lord Bear's violet
(SLRN) 876-742-285
~**~
please, visit Yahoo 360
and
http://www.freewebs.com/fabricconcepts/

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Post #: 7

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 3:05:53 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyBEAST

Subs/Slaves, what is more attractive to you in a Dom/me?

Experience or Common Interests?

Experience: # of years as a Dom/me, # of D/s relationships under the belt, etc.

Common Interests: aside from BDSM, sharing appreciation, interest, and love for things such as art, writing, poetry, same music tastes, fashion, movies, etc.

Neither of those, really.

I quite like the fact that I can't quite put my finger on it after such a long time.

A *forever* mystery.

agirl

(in reply to DaddyBEAST)

Post #: 8

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 3:17:52 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I ust asked Angel this. My reply was Common intrests, since he neer actually asked about my experience until after we knew we had so much in common that we were a good match. Both in and outside the lifestyle and BDSM, if we couldnt share our lives, then we never would have considered sharing our kinks.

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 9

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 4:59:39 PM

goodpet

Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline

Common intertests, hands down.

While we live a D/s relationship as our foundation, it is the activities we do that make it a life and not just a long scene. Hope that makes sense..

We have so many common interests, we are really quite well matched on the vanilla interests, bdsm interests, and activity level.

Some level of experience was attractive since i was not wishing to have to bring in a parnter to the life, nor interested in "training" a new Dom. *ducks and covers*

find someone you can talk with, and do common things with, since someday that might weigh out more then the BDSM. (you know, like when you are 96 years old )

(in reply to DaddyBEAST)

Post #: 10

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 5:04:41 PM

innatedesire

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyBEAST

Subs/Slaves, what is more attractive to you in a Dom/me?

Experience or Common Interests?

Experience: # of years as a Dom/me, # of D/s relationships under the belt, etc.

Common Interests: aside from BDSM, sharing appreciation, interest, and love for things such as art, writing, poetry, same music tastes, fashion, movies, etc.

Experience and the number of relationships are very important to me. I could not have a vanilla based relationship again. I shy away from someone who is new to the lifestyle simply becasue many that i have spoken to that are new are just "exploring" that side of themselves and i do not want to be someones experiment. I am not saying that everyone who is new or lacks experience is that way (i know this). If he has 20 years expereince and 20 relationships that would be another issue, i need someone who is capable of being in a relationship not relationships.

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Post #: 11

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 5:22:06 PM

DaddyBEAST

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

Everybody offers very insightful perspectives. I guess in the end it's different for everybody.

Having similar interests in the D/s lifestyle is big, but I'll have to agree that clicking on other levels is also very important.

(in reply to innatedesire)

Post #: 12

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 5:29:15 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Common interests Hands Down.... Your talent could be world wide but for me a connection is a must have that makes it easier to want to go along even if you all F'up.

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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Post #: 13

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 5:39:30 PM

DaddyBEAST

Posts: 20
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Common interests Hands Down.... Your talent could be world wide but for me a connection is a must have that makes it easier to want to go along even if you all F'up.

Good point.

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 14

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 5:42:12 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Common interests beyond a shadow of a doubt.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 15

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 6:12:34 PM

xkittenishx

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline

Undoubtedly common interests - experience can be gained over time, while common interests lay a great foundation.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 16

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 6:20:27 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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Common interests are more attractive to me. Experience can be worked on.

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Post #: 17

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 6:46:06 PM

lilsubl

Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

i like the idea of an experienced Master/Dom & as far as common interests go, i tend to enjoy people whose interests are different from mine so we can share our varied interests with each other...i love learning & experiencing new things....

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Post #: 18

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 8:17:47 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

Subs/Slaves, what is more attractive to you in a Dom/me? Experience or Common Interests?
both.

Experience: # of years as a Dom/me, # of D/s relationships under the belt, etc.
amount of practical experience in a 24/7 lifestyle relationship, since that's what i would be seeking were i seeking, and how much that experience has taught the prospective dom/me.

Common Interests: aside from BDSM, sharing appreciation, interest, and love for things such as art, writing, poetry, same music tastes, fashion, movies, etc.
religious acceptance and interest, if not being of the same religious beliefs, is important to me. also, a love of reading, books, and education is also important...music and dance help, too :) history as well...one of our favorite things to do is talk about history. someone who likes to travel, definitely.\

to me, it's most important to have some common interests but i think that at this point in my life i would have a hard time getting involved with someone who didn't at least have -some- experience in a 24/7 tpe, were i uncollared and seeking.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 1/29/2007 8:18:44 PM >

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Post #: 19

RE: Experience vs. Other Things In Common - 1/29/2007 9:58:06 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

i have never asked a man "how much experience do you have?" After all, everyone has to start somewhere so, He might as well break His whip in on my behind.

Since i am only ever interested in finding a long term relationship and i don't live in a world that is non-stop BDSM, there has got to be other common interests to occupy the rest of O/our time together or it will get real boring and/or annoying real fast. Still, my number one concern is always, "Is this a Man i can trust wholeheartedly?" As long as the answer is "YES", then i have no reason not to see how well W/we fit together and the only way to know that for sure is to give it time and to give Him my complete attention and service. If it doesn't work out, at least i know that i gave it my all.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyBEAST

Subs/Slaves, what is more attractive to you in a Dom/me?

Experience or Common Interests?

Experience: # of years as a Dom/me, # of D/s relationships under the belt, etc.

Common Interests: aside from BDSM, sharing appreciation, interest, and love for things such as art, writing, poetry, same music tastes, fashion, movies, etc.

(in reply to DaddyBEAST)

Post #: 20

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