Can't stay hard (Full Version)

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Koukei -> Can't stay hard (2/5/2007 7:02:47 PM)

The guy im having sex with can't stay hard. He swears it not me or the things I do and I believe him. He'll be hard one minute and the next it just fades away. It comes back shortly depending on what I do to him but we're both curious about why he can't stay hard. I can never seem to get him off, however he says he can do it by himself when he is alone. What could possibly be the problem?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/5/2007 7:07:30 PM)

Some guys are just like that.  Distractions can be fleeting and blood pressure can be whacky. 

Not sure why you can't get him off- exactly what have you done to try?  Have you let him work on himself as he does when he's alone?

How long have you been together?  I'd say give it a good six months of relaxed, fun, slow enjoyment together to build a good bed of security before you really start to worry. 




Koukei -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/5/2007 7:12:42 PM)

Ive tried sucking him off which he feels  great but doesnt seem to be working. When we first started having sex i could get him off all the time doing just about anything but not now. He h as been under a lot of stress lately



BlindDescent -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/5/2007 7:17:09 PM)

Fear of failure and fear of success. Fear of prematurity. Overstimulation proir to insertion. Conflicting pleasure/relaxation receptors. Complex psychosexual focus that haunt him. Madonna/whore complex. Screwy feedback loop...hand to cock to brain is a closed loop...cock to woman's touch is variable. Feelings of loss of control. ....These are tips of the sexual iceberg...there are many more physiological, medical, psychological issues, not to mention combinations of any or all of these. Past performance and wilting at inopportune times seems to be the worst offender of non-medical origin.



TreSwank -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/5/2007 8:00:49 PM)

The same thing happens to me all the time.  Even when I'm with a really foxy chick who knows what she's doing, it takes the RIGHT TRIGGER to help me maintain my erection.  Some men just can't stay hard from receiving a blowjob - it HAS to be done a certain way.  Listen to the signals that his body is giving you.  If he's hard while you're riding him a certain way, don't change your body motion or rhythm.  If his dick spurts out just a little more pre-cum than usual when you're doing "that special" motion while giving him a B.J., keep on doing that same identical motion without alteration. 

Your boyfriend reminds me of myself, in the fact that we're both men who need to have a certain kind of stimulation done at an exact time to keep us on that plateau.  It's a learning process, and I hope that you're patient with him (unlike the women I've slept with that have asked me if I was gay, based on their inability to keep me hard.)



SCDommie -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/5/2007 8:12:53 PM)

Oh my.  I think I am going to call it a day.
Has he ever thought about going to the doctor?  Not that a man would consider such an option, but that is what a woman would do if they were having gyn problems.  They would be at the doctor in a heart beat.
SCD



obey1 -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/5/2007 8:41:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Koukei

What could possibly be the problem?


The medical community calls it Erectile Dysfunction (ED).  I don't know if you have seen the commercials, but high blood pressure and other systemic disorders between the heart and lungs are the primary mechanical reason for this.

Smoking causes that.  Alcohol causes that.  Other drugs cause that, prescription and non-prescription.  And as has been mentioned stress causes that.  But the biggest factor facing men as they age is lack of physical activity-planned exercise-not just going to a blue collar job every day.

If He is generally healthy and does not smoke, or drink excessively (nor has in the past) then he should have his cardiovascular system checked by a physician.  There are many ED treatments in the form of a pill, but there are side effects of using a drug to boost up your already failing sympathetic/parasympathetic circulatory system.

As I have mentioned in another post, do not let the doctor prescribe any STATIN for cholesterol.  Cholesterol is only a risk factor, not life threatening, and should not be treated with STATIN drugs such as Lipitor as the side effects can literally kill you or cripple you for the REST of your life.  There is a big lawsuit building against these drugs.

Exercise definitely helps.  Anything you can do on your own to boost your circulatory system will begin to reverse the effects.  There are plenty of herbal remedies available that could be tried, such as "Horny Goat Weed", Ginseng, Yohimbe Bark, etc.  Just do a search on Google for herbal male enhancement, etc.  Your goal should be to boost the circulatory system.  Even a vigorous massage of the back and limbs might help before each attempt.  Everyone is different when it comes to the missing link in their circulatory/cardiovascular system.



michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/5/2007 8:48:35 PM)

luckily, i don't have this problem



draba -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/6/2007 2:29:22 AM)

You have not mentioned age. This and lifestyle are contributing factors. My Mistress refuses to allow me to masterbate, period, for these reasons. Sometimes after masterbating for long periods of time, it is difficult for anything else to stimulate the penis. ED and age are serious consideration. Perhaps you should put that boy in chasity. See how fast it works after being locked up for a month or so.



WalterRego -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/6/2007 6:43:20 AM)

Er....what's wrong with statin drugs. Been taking them for a while and not noticed any adverse effects. Legal cite or website to the suit please?



JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/6/2007 9:27:22 AM)

i am told that stress and health probs such as high blood pressure or meds you take can affect your performance, seeing a doctor is the best.



MamaDomme -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/6/2007 9:39:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

Er....what's wrong with statin drugs. Been taking them for a while and not noticed any adverse effects. Legal cite or website to the suit please?


Here's one: http://www.webmd.com/content/article/123/115125.htm

and another:
http://www.injuryboard.com/view.cfm/Topic=818

and another:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=31380

There are many more links-- just google it and there are about 1,050,000 listed.

The bad side effects don't happen to everyone, but they sure are coming out more and more.

~~Mama (former nurse and former paralegal)



michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/6/2007 9:41:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72

i am told that stress and health probs such as high blood pressure or meds you take can affect your performance, seeing a doctor is the best.


i have the opposite problem (if you can call it a problem)

LOL



sub4hire -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/6/2007 9:47:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: obey1



The medical community calls it Erectile Dysfunction (ED).  I don't know if you have seen the commercials, but high blood pressure and other systemic disorders between the heart and lungs are the primary mechanical reason for this.




Seeing a doctor is the best diagnosis there is.  There are a pleuthora of possibilities for ED.  From diabetes to blood pressure.  Heart issues...to just plain old stress.

I'd get checked out by an MD and if that doesn't work go to a psychiatrist, then at least you'll know it is mental. 



obey1 -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/6/2007 7:16:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

Er....what's wrong with statin drugs. Been taking them for a while and not noticed any adverse effects. Legal cite or website to the suit please?


http://www.spacedoc.net/statin_rhabdomyolysis.htm

http://www.anattorneyforyou.com/legal/statins-lawsuit.htm

Thank you Mama!  You're my kind 'o girl!



mixielicous -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/7/2007 9:30:57 AM)

he could have a closet drug problem.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/7/2007 10:59:33 AM)

Im just thinking maybe seeing a Doc isnt a bad idea. No one here can give a dafinative answer even if we where Doctors we couldnt make a call without seeing him. This isnt abnormal I dont think and im sure his Doctor would know what was going on.

Magik's slave



amlonging -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/7/2007 1:29:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Koukei

The guy im having sex with can't stay hard. He swears it not me or the things I do and I believe him. He'll be hard one minute and the next it just fades away. It comes back shortly depending on what I do to him but we're both curious about why he can't stay hard. I can never seem to get him off, however he says he can do it by himself when he is alone. What could possibly be the problem?


ED of some form or another...



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/7/2007 7:13:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: obey1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Koukei

What could possibly be the problem?



If He is generally healthy and does not smoke, or drink excessively (nor has in the past) then he should have his cardiovascular system checked by a physician.  There are many ED treatments in the form of a pill, but there are side effects of using a drug to boost up your already failing sympathetic/parasympathetic circulatory system.

As I have mentioned in another post, do not let the doctor prescribe any STATIN for cholesterol.  Cholesterol is only a risk factor, not life threatening, and should not be treated with STATIN drugs such as Lipitor as the side effects can literally kill you or cripple you for the REST of your life.  There is a big lawsuit building against these drugs.

Exercise definitely helps.  Anything you can do on your own to boost your circulatory system will begin to reverse the effects.  There are plenty of herbal remedies available that could be tried, such as "Horny Goat Weed", Ginseng, Yohimbe Bark, etc.  Just do a search on Google for herbal male enhancement, etc.  Your goal should be to boost the circulatory system.  Even a vigorous massage of the back and limbs might help before each attempt.  Everyone is different when it comes to the missing link in their circulatory/cardiovascular system.


I am a cardiac intensive care nurse at a very large university that sets the standards for cardiac care. Statins have been proved over and over to reduce the chance of second life threatening heart attack and stroke. statins also help prevent septic shock. High cholesterol is life threatening when not treated. Check your research first. The benefits are much better than left ventricular dysfunction from a massive anterior lateral MI and needing a ventricular assist device or heart transplant. Check your research first. statins are not for those with liver failure.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=54909&nfid=al
http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/abstract/350/15/1495?ck=nck

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/06/050623003754.htm
http://www.umassmed.edu/pap/news/2005/04_12_05.aspx



obey1 -> RE: Can't stay hard (2/7/2007 8:34:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I am a cardiac intensive care nurse at a very large university that sets the standards for cardiac care.



That was Mercks opening statement at the first Rofecoxib lawsuit.  Since you are only a nurse and not a doctor, I will let you slide on this one.

You'll see in time that these drugs will be taken off the market.

http://www.davisandfeder.com/CM/DrugsandMedicalDevices/Baycol.asp

http://www.spacedoc.net/statin_rhabdomyolysis.htm



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