ShadeDiva
Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
|
I'll merely post something along the same lines as to what I replied in another thread:
There are levels and levels of sadism. They really do not have much to do with being a dominant/top/slave/submissive/bottom. It can co exist, or not. You can be vanilla and a sadist.
That being said sadism takes on as many forms as the imagination allows.
Forcing you to wear a color you despise, say you LOATHE pink, and for a week all you are allowed to wear is pink. If YOU aren't comfortable, and the person enjoys consciously creating that discomfort ... well, as far as I am concerned they are a sadist.
Main Entry: sa·dism
Pronunciation: 'sA-"di-z&m, 'sa-
Function: noun
Etymology: International Scientific Vocabulary, from Marquis de Sade
Date: 1888
1 : a sexual perversion in which gratification is obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love object); compare MASOCHISM
2 a : delight in cruelty b : excessive cruelty
- sa·dist /'sA-dist, 'sa-/ noun
- sa·dis·tic /s&-'dis-tik also sA- or sa-/ adjective
- sa·dis·ti·cal·ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb
Pain is the main problem with this defintion, we all tend to immediately think of EXTREME pain, but that's OUR baggage, not the fault of the term itself:
Definition 1:
Main Entry: [1]pain
Pronunciation: 'pAn
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French peine, from Latin poena, from Greek poinE payment, penalty; akin to Greek tinein to pay, tinesthai to punish, Avestan kaEnA revenge, Sanskrit cayate he revenges
Date: 14th century
1 : PUNISHMENT
2 a : usually localized physical suffering associated with bodily disorder (as a disease or an injury); also : a basic bodily sensation induced by a noxious stimulus, received by naked nerve endings, characterized by physical discomfort (as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leading to evasive action b : acute mental or emotional distress or suffering : GRIEF
3 : plural : the throes of childbirth
4 : plural : trouble, care, or effort taken to accomplish something <was at pains to reassure us>
5 : one that irks or annoys or is otherwise troublesome — often used in such phrases as pain in the neck
- pain·less /-l&s/ adjective
- pain·less·ly adverb
- pain·less·ness noun
- on pain of or under pain of : subject to penalty or punishment of <made to leave the country on pain of death>
Definiton 2:
Main Entry: [2]pain
Date: 14th century
transitive senses
1 : to make suffer or cause distress to : HURT
2 : archaic : to put (oneself) to trouble or exertion
intransitive senses
1 : archaic : SUFFER
2 : to give or have a sensation of pain
Cruelty has all sorts of meanings as well but we will focus on the root, cruel:
Main Entry: cru·el
Pronunciation: 'krü(-&) l
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): cru·el·er or cru·el·ler; cru·el·est or cru·el·lest
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French, from Latin crudelis, from crudus
Date: 14th century
1 : disposed to inflict pain or suffering : devoid of humane feelings
2 a : causing or conducive to injury, grief, or pain <a cruel joke> b : unrelieved by leniency
synonym see FIERCE
That being said the words in THIS definition that will trip folks up is conducive and leniency, folks tend to read that as meaning it HAS to only one thing when that isn't what that word really HAS or is being used to mean:
Main Entry: con·du·cive
Pronunciation: -'dü-siv, -'dyü-
Function: adjective
Date: 1646
: tending to promote or assist <an atmosphere conducive to education>
- con·du·cive·ness noun
Main Entry: le·nien·cy
Pronunciation: 'lE-nE-&n(t)-sE, -ny&n(t)-sE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -cies
Date: 1780
1 : the quality or state of being lenient
2 : a lenient disposition or practice
synonym see MERCY
So in all reality we could easily phrase this in this manner:
A sadist is someone that delights in tending to promote without leniency either distress (think mind fuck, standing on your tippie toes for 3 hours), promoting discomfort, irritation, or extertion (think of doing situps or push ups for a few hours, or kneeling on rice, demanding hundreds of sentences, playing with nettles, or will punish without deterring from that course and gettign pleasure from seeing you comply even if you don't really into doing so at the time.
The terms we use are what WE make of them - this is WHY compatiblity and clear and honest and open communication is SO vital - he announces he's a sadist and you are having visions of being flayed and having turpentine poured into the wounds.
Being a sadist doesn't HAVE to turn him into a heartless vicious person that will really and honestly harm you.
We come in all forms and all levels of intensity - the only thing limiting us is ourselves and those that we play with. I can be downright fucking evil just by having someone that HATES getting dirty do my weeding in my garden for me barefoot, without gloves, right after I watered. lol. I change my sadistic sense to whom Im interacting with, someone that HATES cleaning with find scrubbing garbage cans, and cleaning the floor with their toothbrush (not being informed until they have finished that I already purchased and have a brand new toothbrush for them) whereas for another person that would be pure HEAVEN and they would consider it the ultimate reward.
So yanno, talk to the guy with an OPEN mind.
~ShadeDiva
_____________________________
~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld
|
Sadism - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread