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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/11/2007 1:27:55 PM

denika

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ownedgirlie:

it sounds as though you have a very good and healthy relationship with your Master, I'm glad to hear he could be there for you. Rob, my husband was a powerful force as well,

Though Rob isn't a Master/Top/ Dom-pick your term he has an extremly important role in my life, he is my partner, my best friend, my voice of reason, my lover and my husband, He is not adverse to SM, he just has his own kinks. But one of the fondest memories I have with him, among the many we have made over the years was my birthday this year. I was having a crappy day, work was awful, all I could focus on was those I had not been able to save that day and to top it off, the following year it had been the last time I had spoken to my Mom before she passed away. He took my hand and ran me a bath, bubbles everywhere *s* and he bathed me while I cried, I sobbed inconsolably and he didn't say a word, he just kept pouring warm water over me and washed my hair. I've never had anyone bathe me before, the experience was very powerful and it made me see him a little diffrently. He knew if he spoke I would be to self consious to let the tears just flow.

denika

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/14/2007 10:55:37 PM

obey1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I don't just obey when things are easy, simple and I am getting what I want. I will do what he tells me to do and trust that he will not harm me. I am his slave and I will do whatever he wants me to do. A very positive outcome to an extremely negative experience.

Well worth being proud about.

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/14/2007 11:58:35 PM

calicowgirl

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For me it would have to be the first time I attended a play party with the Dom I was serving at the time. I was so worried I would do or say something wrong and was also unsure whether or not I would be able to play at all in public if asked to but everything turned out great. The experience was a major boost to my confidence and by the end of the night I felt very proud of not only my service but of myself.

Cali

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/15/2007 12:04:37 AM

FukinTroll

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Joining CM has been a very life changing experience. I have learned a great deal about acceptance and have grown from it. I have learned more about diversity and WIITWD here than I probably ever could have running in limited social circles. The members of CM have taught me to be less judgmental and that there is a place where questions can be answered, idea's exchanged, and limits pushed with a massive body of support.

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/15/2007 12:10:43 AM

Vendaval

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The first time I went to a large, public play party in San Jose
that was sponsored by SM Odyssey. The first time I went to
a private dungeon. The first time I went to Folsom Street
Fair in San Francisco. The first time I beat a real masochist.
The first time I had a small audience laughing during an
intense scene spiced with bawdy jokes and raunchy humor.
All of these events were life changing experiences.

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/16/2007 5:12:43 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

. But one of the fondest memories I have with him, among the many we have made over the years was my birthday this year. I was having a crappy day, work was awful, all I could focus on was those I had not been able to save that day and to top it off, the following year it had been the last time I had spoken to my Mom before she passed away. He took my hand and ran me a bath, bubbles everywhere *s* and he bathed me while I cried, I sobbed inconsolably and he didn't say a word, he just kept pouring warm water over me and washed my hair. I've never had anyone bathe me before, the experience was very powerful and it made me see him a little diffrently.

You can spend years with someone and they will still beable to send you for a loop by the measure of how they express their love for you. Rob is one of the few individuals that I know that is able to be himself without regard for labels or imposed roles. His very nature is to be himself and in doing so.. he is one of few that I see as naturally dominant. He defines the label.. the label doesn't define him.

Some act in a manner to live up to a defined label and then still others act in a manner that defines the label. I prefer the latter.

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/16/2007 5:21:41 PM

ArgoGeorgia

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My first experience with kink I remember oh so well. Was dating a nurse who also happened to be quite dominant (which I thought was basically she was honest with what she wanted). Up until this point I had only had vanilla encounters with her and others. One night I was being a smartass (as usual) so she handcuffed me and then told me I was full of shit, she was sick of it and was going to fix it. That was my first enema and then she started doing things to my backdoor that I will never forget! My eyes were officially opened at that point, and I've never looked back.

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/16/2007 7:10:52 PM

SimplyMichael

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The title of the thread is "life changing" and I don't think I have had that sort of experience other than simply "being" in BDSM and growing as a person which HAS been life changing. I am a vastly better person for having "learned to beat women" as I like to say.

I think the strongest lessons I have learned have sadly been mistakes rather than beautiful moments although I have had those as well.

Seeing the way the one and only woman who has ever worn my collar, a woman almost as new to BDSM as I was looking at me in "that" way. Breaking her heart and her spirit in many ways over our years together drove those lessons of what not to do rather deeply and forced upon me the need and the desire to change, but I wasn't ready yet. Oh, I did horrible things. About a year or less into things we were having a fight, she was expressing doubts about all sorts of things and I said "fine, take the collar off" as a way of easing her stress and worries... yeah I know NOW what a mistake that was, one we never got over even though we spent a few more years together.

Her and I broke up a lot and got together over and over again. I met a number of splendid women during those breakups and tore their hearts out as well. Again, that crushed me and kept adding to the weight pushing me to change but I wasn't sure how yet.

Then I met my ex, a woman I will always love and treasure (we parted because she wants kids and I don't) Unlike my first submissive, she didn't match me drama for drama and when I railed at her she was quiet and I started to see what a monster I was.

She found me an anger management therapist who did wonders for me. Now I just vent on the few idiots here and Ladyhugs and I don't do it to my lovers. Not a "wonderful" story but I am vastly better for it.

Also, I have to thank those here who open up, really open up and do so honestly and deeply. I am a better person for being here and reading the things others post so thank you!

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/16/2007 9:43:33 PM

andyskayla

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First (and only) time I used my safeword. It was for emotional, not physical pain, and I didn't really think that was a fair reason and he immediately stopped and just comforted me and kissed away my tears and told me it was all OK. Shortly thereafter he told me he'd never leave me for a request or concern--and I started crying because it was the first time in my life I felt like I didn't have to prove or earn love.

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/18/2007 10:09:30 PM

denika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

You can spend years with someone and they will still beable to send you for a loop by the measure of how they express their love for you. Rob is one of the few individuals that I know that is able to be himself without regard for labels or imposed roles. His very nature is to be himself and in doing so.. he is one of few that I see as naturally dominant. He defines the label.. the label doesn't define him.

Some act in a manner to live up to a defined label and then still others act in a manner that defines the label. I prefer the latter.

.......Responding for Rob......
He was moved by your compliment, we don't always say things that we are thinking, even take for granted those closest just 'know' how we feel, Rob understood where that compliment came from and it was taken with gratitude.Like you he beleives label are things that you put on clothes and the funky left overs in the fridge that you keep meaning to eat or throw out but forget to do not a definition of who and what we are, they can be handy but they are never accurate.

I know understand how you knew about the bath, I had wracked my brains out after you used the comparison on when I told that to you. I understand even more so know. After 16 years he still suprises me every day.

denika

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/18/2007 11:23:46 PM

thaimeeuppppp

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to make a long story short, I would say it was when i 1st realized that pain made me cum. It was a revelation

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/19/2007 4:14:49 AM

puella

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Thank you for a thread which is proving to have many interesting posts which show something really individual about each who has contributed.

In my past relationship, I was very lucky to have been with a man who was not afraid of intensity and who very gracefully allowed for that element to naturally work for him and with him, and was wise enough to know that it must ebb and flow naturally. I have a wonderful myriad of memories of him and the places he brought me to.

It is somewhat strange that this one silly, little moment is one which has moved me so profoundly.

He had taken me to the pier in Santa Barbara for the fourth of July. There were fireworks and crosses and the sea. After a day of ups and downs, we went home. I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom, and had put some toothpaste on his toothbrush for when he would come in later, one of many silly little things I used to be so desperate to do for him.

There was no extraordinary moment, he simply entered and without even thinking about it, picked up the toothbrush and scrubbed away beside me. I looked at him and was so filled with emotion and love and reverence for him, all I could do was sink to my knees at his feet….toothbrush still in my mouth. How utterly ungraceful yet organic it all was. He looked down and smiled with what I interpreted to be a mixture of surprise, humor, and pleasure... and everything felt totally right.

I still wonder if he remembers that moment. I wonder if he remembers what such devotion looked like, in an utterly undignified heap at his feet, sudsy tooth brush pinioned in my mouth, and shining dark eyes full of thanks, wonder and love. I know that I will never forget the smile he gave me (somehow, he looked much more dignified than I did with a tooth brush stuck in his mouth), and that most mundane of moments, which by all rights should simply have been any other fleck of insignificant time, and ended up being a moment that seared me indelibly, leaving me changed and molded like a lump of ore in a refiner's fire.

There has never been a place more right than kneeling at his feet.

< Message edited by puella -- 2/19/2007 5:12:09 AM >

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/19/2007 4:50:40 AM

hereyesruponyou

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The first one for me was definately my first "real" bdsm experience. Before that it had always just been bedroom bondage with my husband, whom i had lost a few years earlier. I met a guy on here and we clicked so naturally on a friendly level. We met for a night and discovered there was no sexual chemistry between us, but we made great friends. He became more of a mentor to me and as he owned hundreds of toys i got to experience what i liked and didn't like in a very safe and comfortable way. Tied to a large dining room table in a hotel suite, being "torured" with a violet wand for about an hour, i learned what subspace was and when he said he was proud of how i responded, i thought i had found my perfect place.

The second one was when i met my favorite switch. Having played on and off for a year with different people in both roles, he and i met with minimal expectations from me. We went for a walk after dinner and it was good when he pushed me back into an alcove and kissed me hard and groped me. But a bit later when i saw this corner where 2 old brick buildings came together and i pushed him back, unzipped his jeans grabbed his balls and then bit his shoulder while he shuddered..... that's when i found my real domme side.

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RE: Life Changing Experiences.... - 2/19/2007 4:33:21 PM

ScreamerGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Another memorable experience is the last time that we played. It was an extremely negative play for me, not because of what he did during play but because of my mindset going into play. The pain was not even remotely pleasurable and I just wanted it to end. What made it memorable and life changing is that days later while processing all the things that put me in a negative mindspace to begin with and working through what went wrong, I realized that I will not say no to him.

Similar experience, different outcome/result.

The most significant moment in my 14 years of bdsm has to be a scene like you describe above - except that the reasons for it were probably different: He was feeling angry and insignificant, probably very inexperienced around other more knowledgeable tops/dominants. His answer was to "punish" me.

It didn't take me two days to get to the bottom of what I was feeling - it took about a half hour of crying and trying to get ahold of myself afterwards. At that point, I looked him in the eye - and while I still remained his submisive in all senses, I realized I didn't *need* him. That was *very* significant for me.

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