Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Does Age Matter?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Does Age Matter? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/12/2005 1:11:13 PM   
KCMOLucky


Posts: 121
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Kansas City, Missouri
Status: offline 		I haven't read the entire thread, but here's my opinion. I knew of the 'lifestyle' when I was 17. Was I ready to begin being a Domme then? No, of course not. You can't just simply pick it up like a sandwich and dig in.

I'm now 21. Am I realy do be a Domme. I believe so. I may not be up to others standards, but I know in my heart that my maturity level is significantly more mature than most people my age. I've been married for three years, I've held a job for over two years, I've been to college, I'm now exploring a career path that I want on my own, I don't binge drink (Only drink on occasion, actually), I don't smoke, I've never done drugs...

You're right. Most people aren't mature at 19, and some haven't gained a grasp of responsibility at 30. Hell, my own father is 39, and hasn't raised a single one of his children, and still doesn't understand the concept of a financial budget or safe sex.

However, please take into consideration the 19, 20, 21 year olds who are young, and mature, and responsible. Believe you me, sometimes it's not always fun being mature, especially when you have people who, in your mind, you're on the same level with, telling you to stick to the sandbox. Not only is it insulting, it's hurtful.

Mary

< Message edited by KCMOLucky -- 11/12/2005 1:15:53 PM >

_____________________________

I don't have PMS, I just disagree with you.

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/12/2005 5:38:17 PM   
darkslife


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline 		Interesting topic, and one I feel somewhat qualified to comment on. A bit of history about myself first though.

I come from a single parent home, with that parent having to work 12 hours a day to keep food on the table, and no money for babysitters. I looked after my younger brother from age 7, and cooked most of the meals as well. I detested being poor, and when my mother remarried and moved into the Australian Outback to live on a property with her new husband, I stayed, found work and completed my senior education.

I then joined the Australian Army, and went to university and gain a Bachelor of Information Technology, specialising in Software Engineering and Computer Science. I have travelled extensively, both with the army, and without. I have fought in this so called war on terror, both overseas and on Australian soil.

I have owned 2 houses outright. I am planning on retiring at 40.

In terms of relationships, I buried my first collared submissive when I was 18, and watched with a broken heart as cancer took her away from me. I have loved 4 girls in my life, and still do to this day. But just because you love someone, does not mean you can be with that person. Love does not conquer all. I think the world would be better if it did.

I was introduced to the lifestyle at age 17. Have I improved? Yes, but only my technical skills. Mentally I am the same. I have the same level of maturity. I understood things then just as well as I do now. So, I know from personal experience one can be 19 and make a good dominant.

When I was first posted to Melbourne where I now reside, I attended a local club, and was challanged with the whole "You are too young to be a dom" by a 50 year old man with a 18 year old girl on a leash. I later found out he has been in the scene for 9 weeks and has taken himself a nice young nulible girl already.

But hey, 19 year olds are the only ones after sex, aren't they?

(in reply to KCMOLucky)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/12/2005 7:16:13 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkslife

Interesting topic, and one I feel somewhat qualified to comment on. A bit of history about myself first though.

I come from a single parent home, with that parent having to work 12 hours a day to keep food on the table, and no money for babysitters. I looked after my younger brother from age 7, and cooked most of the meals as well. I detested being poor, and when my mother remarried and moved into the Australian Outback to live on a property with her new husband, I stayed, found work and completed my senior education.

I then joined the Australian Army, and went to university and gain a Bachelor of Information Technology, specialising in Software Engineering and Computer Science. I have travelled extensively, both with the army, and without. I have fought in this so called war on terror, both overseas and on Australian soil.

I have owned 2 houses outright. I am planning on retiring at 40.

In terms of relationships, I buried my first collared submissive when I was 18, and watched with a broken heart as cancer took her away from me. I have loved 4 girls in my life, and still do to this day. But just because you love someone, does not mean you can be with that person. Love does not conquer all. I think the world would be better if it did.

I was introduced to the lifestyle at age 17. Have I improved? Yes, but only my technical skills. Mentally I am the same. I have the same level of maturity. I understood things then just as well as I do now. So, I know from personal experience one can be 19 and make a good dominant.

When I was first posted to Melbourne where I now reside, I attended a local club, and was challanged with the whole "You are too young to be a dom" by a 50 year old man with a 18 year old girl on a leash. I later found out he has been in the scene for 9 weeks and has taken himself a nice young nulible girl already.

But hey, 19 year olds are the only ones after sex, aren't they?




G'day Digger,

Yep you are so right about a 19 year old having maturity. Neets is just taking a gf of ours, a 20 year old switch to the station after she stay with us for last night.. (We have an open home for selected paople who sometimes just want our company and to crash in a Pagan Temple.) This lass is plenty mature. I remember more than a few young guys who landed in 'Nam who were more than competent to command (after they learned their trade in the jungles under fire). Age is in the mind. Sure when your an old fart like me, not every nubile young thing is eager to have your collar, but then perhaps us oldies have the age on our side to be taken seriously by some older sub/slaves of the female persuasion too. To them what thing that some one with less that 30 years under their life belt is too young.. Go and get real and learn the realities. In other words piss off and leave others alone if you dont have an open mind.

Yoy want to retire at 40? Good on yer mate. Go for it. I have no doubt that if that is what you wanmt, that's what you'll get.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to darkslife)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/12/2005 10:27:50 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		i dont know whether i would consider an age factor as a qualifier for being Dom/me..but perhaps..life experience. This being said, someone around the same age or older than the submissive may prove to be excellent...saying that..i know a lotta 40 year olds who act like that are still 6 years old *grin*

(in reply to KCMOLucky)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/12/2005 10:36:31 PM   
MasterEsqMDsgirl


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline
while i knew who and what i was because i was trained as i am since early childhood. i still believe age plays a fact because of age equated mentality. Let's say
19, one has have good theory but said theory doesn't mean much without life experience and wisdom. For example...at 19 do you really know how to really
Access your partner....how do you really know about life... do you know how to take a health history or even what to be concerned about?

_____________________________

To endure for Owner's pleasures is the trait of a submissive, but to derive pleasure from that endurance because it is pleasing to ones OWNER is the trait of a slave.


(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 12:19:04 AM   
KCMOLucky


Posts: 121
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Kansas City, Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

Let's say
19, one has have good theory but said theory doesn't mean much without life experience and wisdom. For example...at 19 do you really know how to really
Access your partner....how do you really know about life... do you know how to take a health history or even what to be concerned about?



Who said that people aren't capable of having life experience at 19? Or 21? or 25? What IS old enough for you? Why?

I'm really curious as to what qualifies people as good enough.

_____________________________

I don't have PMS, I just disagree with you.

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 12:30:58 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl


while i knew who and what i was because i was trained as i am since early childhood. i still believe age plays a fact because of age equated mentality. Let's say
19, one has have good theory but said theory doesn't mean much without life experience and wisdom. For example...at 19 do you really know how to really
Access your partner....how do you really know about life... do you know how to take a health history or even what to be concerned about?



Go and re-read my previous post. I've worked and served with 19 year olds who were well trained and had the lives of people in their young hands. Life experience is something gained by living life and under some circumstances people gain a wealth of life experience at an early age. yet I know people my age (60) who have less life experience and more importantly the ability to apply it than some of my friends whose ages range from 19 to 30.

What do you base you thoughts on?



_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 1:17:28 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have a topic that may invoke some interest. Does age matter for a Dom or Domme? I bring this up because the other day I saw a Dom online who was 19 years old. Is that possible?
I don't believe you can be a Dom or Domme at 19. Am I wrong? It seems to me that a certain maturity must be reached before you can really be one. Some never reach it no matter their age, but I feel that 19 is too young. I would love some thoughts from others on this. And what age is the age where you are mature enough? I don't know myself. I just know that I had no clue about this lifestyle till about 28 years old. Then it became a huge interest for me. But before that I never thought about it.
What do you think?


Why is age an issue?

Either you (one) can or (one) can't. Everything depends on 'their' relationship. Was I able at 19? No. Do I wish I was? Yes. Does it mean that he is not? No. If he can am I envious? Yes. Good for him to know who (or at least this part of him) he is at that age. I assure you noone is perfect at any stage, as much as we might like to think otherwise.

Personally I think he will fall flat on his face a few times, _as we all have (or should)_. The difficulty is picking ourselves up and finding some dignity and carrying on learning.

D (owner of j)


_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 10:44:49 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl


while i knew who and what i was because i was trained as i am since early childhood. i still believe age plays a fact because of age equated mentality. Let's say
19, one has have good theory but said theory doesn't mean much without life experience and wisdom. For example...at 19 do you really know how to really
Access your partner....how do you really know about life... do you know how to take a health history or even what to be concerned about?

I will just say:

Yes, some do.

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 12:51:39 PM   
HeavenlyCeleste


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline 		ve to agree with you...19 years old is a bit young it seems to be either a Domme or Dom. One has to have complete control of themselves before they can control another. Control takes time. THere is also the requisite knowledge and experience...perhaps we should have a Domme/Dom in training position...Apprentice...Novice, etc.

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 1:47:57 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavenlyCeleste

ve to agree with you...19 years old is a bit young it seems to be either a Domme or Dom. One has to have complete control of themselves before they can control another. Control takes time. THere is also the requisite knowledge and experience...perhaps we should have a Domme/Dom in training position...Apprentice...Novice, etc.

"Complete" control is another one of those unsure statements. What does that mean? Is a 19 year old going to college full time, making excellent grades, running a tutoring center, riving thir own car more or less in control than a 40 yo going to a bland corporate job and living day to day life?

To me being dominant is simply ones orientation, age notwithstanding. It is doubtful that one is the best dominant they CAN be in their lives at at 19, but no reason they can't be very capable and "in control" of their lives at that time any more than an older person.

(in reply to HeavenlyCeleste)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 5:00:32 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		My life after 50 just rocks; how is life after 60?

candystripper

(in reply to litaTshai)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 5:21:23 PM   
Peaches2006


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline 		Age CAN matter for the audience re credibility in all walks of life. We don't want to see a surgeon with peach fuzz now do we?

I know it isn't fair, but someone lacking in years, usually has to "prove" themselves to "win" the title.

I won't go into the question of the other end of the spectrum - how old is too old. I am still relatively "young" in the lifestyle although mature in years. I would like to think I have the enthusiasm and drive of any child in the lifestyle with room for growth and that my chronological age will not be a negative. But I cannot speak for the audience....

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 5:41:17 PM   
michaelMI


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		"If I could turn back time..." <smiles>
all i can say about my age is..."Are we having fun, yet?


(in reply to Peaches2006)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 6:19:18 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		You'd be amazed by some of the things young people go through and those experiences alter the courses of their lives. Children are hardly the innocents we believe them to be, particularly in the urban US.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/13/2005 7:04:10 PM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I have a topic that may invoke some interest. Does age matter for a Dom or Domme? I bring this up because the other day I saw a Dom online who was 19 years old. Is that possible?
I don't believe you can be a Dom or Domme at 19. Am I wrong? It seems to me that a certain maturity must be reached before you can really be one. Some never reach it no matter their age, but I feel that 19 is too young. I would love some thoughts from others on this. And what age is the age where you are mature enough? I don't know myself. I just know that I had no clue about this lifestyle till about 28 years old. Then it became a huge interest for me. But before that I never thought about it.
What do you think?


I skimmed over some of the other replies and noticed the varied collection of responses. My answer to such a question has a rather definite reply, but I had wanted to assess the thoughts of those who had posted already prior to articulating my outlook on this topic.

I find that age and maturity do not go hand in hand. I’ve met a number of very mature young people. I’ve met horribly immature people in older age brackets. I believe that the desire to present oneself as a knowledgeable, capable, trustworthy individual makes for the image of maturity. I can’t see myself putting my life into the hands of a doctor who makes the same potty jokes a five year old finds amusing. Perhaps that is just me.

Plenty of people who discover the D/s lifestyle later in life remain hopelessly juvenile. Some people don’t want to grow up. Some people don’t want to feel old. Some people were never taught to project a mature image. And some people are just too stupid for words. Someone must have really loved them for them to get this far.

I am twenty, nearing twenty-one. I feel that I’m quite mature. I know precisely what I want out of life in just about every aspect of living. I know that some of my goals and desires are more ideals than anything else. I know what I am (and am not) willing to do to achieve the goals I think are more reasonable – and plausible. And I’ve known most of this for a very long time. I understand that I don’t know everything and I feel that I have a realistic outlook on life.

I have had D/s themed ideas since I was old enough to play with dolls. And I knew even then that my thoughts were not typical. While sexy-clad Barbie tied up naked Ken I would sit with my back to my bedroom door to prevent anyone from catching me in the act.

As I progressed the thoughts and desires grew. And in high school I was given a name for all of this – an encompassing acronym that summed up quite a bit of what I wanted, what I craved – in a neat little four-letter word. I was sixteen then.

With a name, coupled with inclination to learn, I read everything… consumed voraciously any information I could find. I found my interests. I found my limits. I know what fetishes I will explore with and without a mentor. I know that I require (a personal prerequisite) fairly extensive medical training before I would even consider undertaking some of my interests.

I know who I am. I know what I want. And I know how I’m going to get there.

Can I pick up two floggers and expertly twirl and thwack? Probably not. Am I mature enough to know that limit, seek out a mentor and practice long and hard? Absolutely.

Can I pick up a syringe and administer saline injections? I don’t think I can – nor do I think I should. I don’t think that means that I’m not mature enough to have an interest or to engage in the learning process.

I am mature, reasonable and have a vested interest in the safety of anyone I scene with. I have the inclination to learn and enjoy the pleasure that comes with being true to my desires. That may not make me exceptionally skilled – but I feel that it certainly makes me a Domme.

< Message edited by MadameDahlia -- 11/13/2005 7:07:06 PM >

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/14/2005 12:01:30 AM   
Marquisd


Posts: 61
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Age is just a number.

I have met a number of people that get judged because of their age - not what they know - not what they can do and not by what the world of BDSM means to them.

I can't speak to what I would feel, since my knees do not bend anymore (old age, lol).

I have met however some very young (by appearance) members of this fine community that played just as safe as the rest of the old guard.

I just don't see what age has to do with it.

nice thread though

cheers

_____________________________

Relationships develop at the speed of trust

"Official Sadist and Dom of the 2010 Winter Games"

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Does Age Matter? - 11/14/2005 12:17:13 AM   
darkslife


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline 		Funny thing - I was asked to prove myself once.

I didn't. I don't see why I have to "earn" anything, I don't particularly care if I have people's respect or not. I tend to avoid the public scene as its all "Im so hardcore" etc and it annoys me.

Yet I have no shortage of people who either want to learn from me (yes even those past 30), and people who want to play with me. Thing is, I moved past casual play a long time ago. It bores me. I prefer a mental connection, as in friends or potential partners.

So if you are young and despair, pull yourselves up, get some maturity. People will judge you on who you are, not your age. Go forth, learn what you can, in this lifestyle, and more importantly (in my opinion) outside of it.

Learn about people, what makes them tick, how they will react. Sit back and watch the world and how others interact with it. Find what you consider the best way. Adjust your behaviour, and become more mature than those around you.

Fufill your potential now, for it is great to know who and what you are young.

(in reply to Marquisd)
Profile   Post #: 78
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Does Age Matter? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094