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I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 12:51:09 PM   
alivingdoll


Posts: 57
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		I have Turners Syndrome and through the yrs gained somewhat of an acceptance within my community .I'll share a little about Turners before I ask my question in my case i'm a nonresponder which mean's i'm a grown woman in a child's body and facial features.Hormone replacement  never helped me reach any form of maturation.

My thought's were with unmentionables well they are unmentioned if someone like me appeared into your community what sort of adaptable measures would you ask for the sake of comfort ? would my appearance make you uncomfortable?
   why I ask this is in order to keep all comfortable in my community if my Master would like bring me to a club or Gasp> play/scene  for the comfort to others .I will wear a hood exit the back of building kinda thing .which limit's my contact with others makes it hard to be social have you ever tried to smile in a hood? and look friendly lol

why I ask this is I attended a "kink friendly " outing without the hood and seen littles along with daddies (grown women appearing small ) and it bothered nobody .I happen to be a grown woman who appears childlike and it does bother people call me confused ?

maybe I need a new crowd  and talk about a raw deal i'm not a little I enjoy sensation play and domestic chores go figure
breaking in a new community is worse than breaking in new shoes
  I'd love to know other's views on this   `````Thanks Doll
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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 12:56:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think as long as you're prepared to show ID to get into the event, there shouldn't have to be any extra accommodations made.  If I saw you I might make a double take, but if you were in the party and looked like you were fine, I'd just keep doing what I was doing.  Over time, word would get out about your condition and it would become less and less of an issue.

Sad to say, but some kink groups might not be as welcoming and you might face some discrimination and exclusion.  But you might be welcomed with open arms as well.

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(in reply to alivingdoll)
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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:00:18 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Hello alivingdoll,

I imagine there would be people who would have objections or issues with somebody with Turner's syndrome and the failure to mature adult female sex characteristics.

On the other hand, there is a place here in Hollyweird known as the Lair De Sade.  They check identification at the door and no children are allowed.  I would be shocked if somebody had issues with your Dominant/submissive as a child molester, who encountered you at such a place.

In my opinion, people dont have much control over what cards they are dealt, the only thing they can do is play the hand as it is presented to them.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy



_____________________________

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David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:02:26 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		unfortunately, i think many would fear to play with you due to a fear of being labeled a pedophile... you actually being an adult would not help the case, as it could appear that your partner merely found a convenient substitute t engage their perverse activities without fear of retribution from the legal authorities

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:06:33 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		livingdoll,

The BDSM crowd uses the Internet for good reason. It connects us beyond borders to share kink and find a peer group. I have little doubt that you could find web resources to the local community and introduce yourself to them before you began to play. As the posters above me have pointed out, most places ID. If you feel it could be a potential issue, put yourself out there to the communities, let them be aware of your condition, and you will quickly find a good receptive group of people to play with.

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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:07:44 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		I am certain it is a difficult matter for you. I am sorry to say that I can understand how hard it would be for a new community to embrace you, although I want to be clear this is not a personal attack. Unmentionables are a hard limit. It would be unnerving to see someone who looked like a UM at a play party. Like LA said though, once word gets out and people start to know you, it will be less an issue. Good luck.

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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:11:54 PM   
DoctorDubious


Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

Dear Doll... and all...

Long ago I had an adolescent client with Turners.
As I remember, faintly, she and her family handled it quite well.

You got a shitty deal, but that was long ago, far away,
and there's always that silver lining, eh...
and you present yourself as pretty damned OK!

Maybe you "Turners" chicks get an extra serving of gumption
instead of the more banal resonse mechanisms...
... the bitch-goddess who tinkers and fucks
with this planet likes that kinda karma shit...

I'm no pedophile,
so I doubt if I'd think you were hot from across the room,
but if you stood tall no matter how large your frame,
I'd likely think you were just grand.

Add a wicked sense of humor, a taste for tight ropes,
liberal politics, and the ability to say "bull shit" when it appears,
and hell, Dolly..... any "proper" pervert,
and any discriminating vanilla man for that matter,
should be honored to make your aquaintance.

If you are ever in LA,
drop me an email and I'll buy you a coffee
in Hollywood, and talk of "breaking in new shoes"
while we watch the trannies sashay by,
trippingly, fetchingly, tweakerly, in their will-broken-in-stillettos.

Doctor Dubious, gloriously taken, but still friendly with "real" people


(in reply to alivingdoll)
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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:18:12 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I cannot imagine it being an issue past day one.  If someone showed up with what I thought was a 12 year old, I would ask hard questions, ask for ID, etc.   The reality is that if you are older even an idiot should be able to talk to you and realize you are not actually 12.

Besides, while you may appear 12, your skin tone, wrinkles, etc. will always give away your age.  I can guess women's ages from about 30-16 almost to a year and am rarely wrong.

As LA said, it might be troubling on day one but the rumor mill will do some good for once and in a month, everyone will know who you are and all will be well.

(in reply to DoctorDubious)
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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:23:31 PM   
alivingdoll


Posts: 57
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		La-
  I have a special ID that explains TS and even has my karytype my gene marker so it's not a fake ID situation .24hr #to call yes it's that bad lol
  My point was why keep me in hiding doesn't that just make the people more curious?
   To join this type of club we went to an orientation and the speaker was like "you've got to be 18 dear " so I pulled out my special ID (i feel like a spy or super hero lol) and he shakes his head and was like OHHH boy this is going to be trouble cause during the meeting a few people were voicing their concerns "we let children in ? so the hood stopped the questions and made everyone comfortable thinking i was a little person(height challenged )vrs what I am .
It was explained to me I disturb some members who have recovered from sexual abuse my image in these adult behaviors could lead to flashbacks so we learned to adapt .
                                                        thanks   ~~~Doll

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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:28:15 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alivingdoll

It was explained to me I disturb some members who have recovered from sexual abuse my image in these adult behaviors could lead to flashbacks so we learned to adapt .
                                                       thanks   ~~~Doll


That is a lovely rationale, I guess. 

I am a bit shocked the person explaining it to you did not stop to think that he was making an adult person with a chromosomal anomaly responsible for the emotional issues of other people. 

Keep the faith, alivingdoll, people who have their brain in gear are out there.

You will find them.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to alivingdoll)
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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:44:42 PM   
alivingdoll


Posts: 57
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		darchchylde-
                   You hit the nail on the head people just assume we are a dirty couple (shameful even ) and then bring in the general population into the mix and Master is viewed as sick he is but not in that way :)
             Took a very strong confident man to take this project on  with honorable sick intentions no pedaphilia here not even age players .
   we can't control people's first impression's ~~~
                                                             Doll

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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:48:21 PM   
alivingdoll


Posts: 57
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		Wulfchyld-
             thanks you have inspired me and given me some hope
                                                                           ~~~Doll

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 1:52:22 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		exactly... as LA said ones people got to know about you and you yourself it wouldnt be a problem because they would know of you condition.. However that is never gunna happen if your Master makes you wear a hood and the both of you try to sneek about... Hideing it like that really only makes you looks suspicouse in my eyes anyway.. just my thoughts.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 2:02:29 PM   
ravenairsprite


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		While I was sexually abused as a child I would never think that someone dating someone with a genetic disorder like that is a pedophile. Yes of course I'd ask...Once then I'd ask how and if there can even be a why but that's just my curiousity in all things peaking.

I too have a genetic disorder and occassionally have been insulted and/or shunned for it. I have a neurological disorder that causes consistent shaking at times worse then others. This also means I have no balance whatsoever and never have.

Is it either of our faults we were born this way? No. So if they have an issue it's about their own insecurities with themselves and not with you. Keep looking I'm sure there are others out there who would like and respect you no matter how you look. In other words....Keep your chin up.

Respectfully,
Kali

(in reply to alivingdoll)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 2:10:20 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I have to agree with those that have expressed that the hood and avoidance of the issue would make me more uncomfortable and question what was really going on then just seeing someone who appeared underage, asking and having it explained that first time I saw you.

Honestly, what you describe would make me wonder about if there were any unhealthy or illegal things going on... and I am rather repulsed by the idea that you were told to hide yourself for other people's comfort like that.  It's not something you did on purpose, it's not something you can control, it's just the packaging you were given.  Mixing with a new group some will do double-takes and ask questions, but over time as you two become regulars you'll just be you to the others.

Really, I think the best way to address it would be to be more open and social within the local group so that folks can see and know you as adult.


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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 2:12:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alivingdoll

La-
I have a special ID that explains TS and even has my karytype my gene marker so it's not a fake ID situation .24hr #to call yes it's that bad lol
My point was why keep me in hiding doesn't that just make the people more curious?
  To join this type of club we went to an orientation and the speaker was like "you've got to be 18 dear " so I pulled out my special ID (i feel like a spy or super hero lol) and he shakes his head and was like OHHH boy this is going to be trouble cause during the meeting a few people were voicing their concerns "we let children in ? so the hood stopped the questions and made everyone comfortable thinking i was a little person(height challenged )vrs what I am .
It was explained to me I disturb some members who have recovered from sexual abuse my image in these adult behaviors could lead to flashbacks so we learned to adapt .
                                                       thanks   ~~~Doll

Hmph well he sucks then.  Yes, people will likely ask questions and be concerned.  But again, you showed your ID, you have proof, you deserve to be there.  The best thing they SHOULD do is act like it's not a big deal (which is isn't) and address questions directly and succinctly as they come up.

I would guess that the group you went to has at least one main group emailing list that you could get on and post to.  Simply state a simple welcome and explanation.

I'm sorry for the trouble, I once had a very close friend who had Turner's as well though he wasn't kinky.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 2:17:24 PM   
alivingdoll


Posts: 57
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		slavish -
   Eventhough I do try to think of others impression's of me and be sensitive to them as well .It's nice to know the reason's why and thank you so much for posting and no harm done .I asked for various opinions i'd like to step into the other's shoes and get a feel why I envoke such reactions .  ~~~~~Doll           

(in reply to slaveish)
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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 2:18:08 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well I applaud your determination, as far as not letting this condition get in the way of your enjoyment of life! Good luck to you, my dear!

I told my Daddy about your post, and he told me there was a woman like you in his area once, and he said that she had a huge bit of luck with age-players, even with all the fears some may have had of being thought of as a pedophile aside.

Apparently, there were many in his area (mid-Texas) who really liked this gal. She was also a nice person (as you seem to be), and I am sure that had something to do with her success at finding people to play with as well.

P.S. She also played with folks who were not age-players, too. Maybe not as many, but some, he said.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/21/2007 2:32:09 PM >

_____________________________

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 2:21:18 PM   
SirDraven


Posts: 37
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Atlanta GA
Status: offline 		I could see this as a positive for someone who likes age play.

All in all I would think it would not be an issue.  You are not responsible for how others react or feel about the situtation. If the venue let you in that would be good enough for me even though I might not play with you.


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RE: I'm curious others thought's on this - 2/21/2007 2:25:20 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		You seem like an educated, articulate woman. While I might be taken aback at first sight, thinking there was a child at an event, upon a moments thought I'd realize that events are carded and you must be older than your physical appearance. I have never discriminated against someone due to physical appearance and someone with Turners would be as welcome to me as anyone else. Your outside is merely a shell you use to move around. The "you" is the person inside. I should hope that people in a scene are mature enough and educated enough to feel the same. You should not have to be hidden to make others comfortable. If you were local to Southern California, my munch group would embrace you. The only measures taken for the sake of comfort should be informing people of your condition, along with you telling them it is ok to share info about your condition with others. Word of mouth is one of the quickest ways to get something through a community and once people know about you and your condition, you would be accepted by most of the So Cal Scene.

There will always be some people who will not be able to get around your appearance. This would be true if you were morbidly obese, missing your legs, badly burned or any other thing they considered a visible "flaw." That is their problem, not yours. Do your best to educate people and if they are not capable of mentally or emotionally dealing with you, they aren't people who are worth your time as friends. Not everyone is slated to be our friends, or to approve of us or like us. And yes, there will be some people who will never accept you gracefully. But please keep in mind that the same happens to many of us. I am what is termed an SSBBW.. that means I'm a large woman. I may not face the level of prejudice you do, but I do face it. Keep your chin up and remember you have as much right as anyone to be part of the lifestyle (and more than some I know.)

If you get tired of dealing with people at large kink events, perhaps get a t-shirt made with the saying on front and back.. I AM OVER 30.. deal with it! Then in smaller letters put Turners Syndrome http://www.turner-syndrome-us.org/. That way you don't have to keep repeating yourself plus you'd educate on a wide scale. I must admit that if it were not for an episode of Law and Order; SVU, I'd not be aware of people with Turner's Syndrome. Television as education.. how embarrassing for me!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to alivingdoll)
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