RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to become his slave

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 2/22/2007 10:14:26 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
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Same here. Since i don't casually play, i wouldn't have agreed to this situation in the first place. Hopefully the OP's issue was addressed before the play began.

DG

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 2/22/2007 10:47:09 AM

littleone35

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Before i was owned by my wonderful Master i was topped a few times(by the same guy) we both knew it was for fun and neither was looking for more from the other. As soon as i met Master all that stopped. He does not share and that was a hard limit for me anyway.

Matt's littleone

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 2/22/2007 10:49:01 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: azzmaster

if u get topped by a dom and want to b his slave, but he says he would rather keep it as a once in awhile thing, would u refuse to let him top anymore or would u continue to see him in hopes it would go further?

i would continue seeing him, not in hopes of it going further since it needs to be agreed upon by both parties. Like with me and my daddy dom, i would like to take it a step further but we both know that me being his slave wouldn't work out in the end. So we just continue playing and having fun with it.

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 2/22/2007 4:45:04 PM

BabyNyla

Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
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that happened to me ... and then I married him and I haven't Dommed since ... mmmm

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 2/22/2007 7:02:07 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
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I think that circumstance is a major position here. Why it's only part time is a factor that is either understood or it's not.
I have been Mastered yet not owned in the sense of a Collar for a number of reasons, all those reasons I've perfectly understood, agreed on and have been happy with. Then again, I dont want 24/7 in a tangible sense. For me, if the chemistry is there it's spiritual and not something easily forgotten about if it's not convienant. .. .. .. .. But then again it hard to be honest with yourself, and from what you've posted this Sub doesnt appear to understand what you've told her.

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 2/22/2007 8:25:31 PM

subnstudent

Posts: 105
Joined: 9/18/2006
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to the OP: I could see playing with someone who wouldn't go farther as long as we were both clear on what was going on. Howerver, I'm not going to commit to him, either.

"Never make someone a priority who treats you like an option."

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 2/23/2007 2:21:17 AM

bandit25

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Nope, because it prolly wouldn't; however, if I enjoyed the way he topped and wasn't in a relationship (or at least not in a monogomous one), then sure, I'd continue.

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 3/4/2007 8:37:58 PM

unsung

Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
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I think it is a situation of setting clear parameters prior to being involved with a Top. Obviously there is a bond developed between the Top and bottom, but there further needs to be an understanding of the cut off and where things end and pick up again. I for one have recently entered into a situation of having a Top, and there is a clear understanding of where the line is drawn. This situation is for mutual benefit: He gets his desires filled and I gain some experience in the area of play with someone experienced and with whom I trust. There won't be a fulltime act of submission to Him, cause when our meetings are done, we go back to our regular lives. I am fine with this especially given the many other things I have going on in my life right now. This however does not eliminate the opportunity for interested others to contact me, that door remains open, but there is an agreement and we both fully understand that there will be a bond, but that bond is also restricted to the terms and conditions that have been mutally agreed upon. If I ever get the feeling that I want more from him, that is not an option, as agreed.

< Message edited by unsung -- 3/4/2007 8:38:45 PM >

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 3/4/2007 8:55:33 PM

Arastella

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Joined: 7/22/2006
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Course I'd refuse. D/s is a lifestyle to me, not a one-night-stand/every-so-often kinda thing

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 3/5/2007 7:44:01 AM

Artsslave

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Joined: 3/1/2007
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Being Topped for me isn't a game, or a casual thing. What i have to offer my Master is very precious and i'm not willing to belittle the high value i place on it for someone who's not serious about me. So no, if he just wanted casual - There's the door. Don't let it hit ya where the good lord split ya!

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 3/5/2007 7:55:48 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
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I think you can compare this to a vanilla relationship where two people date and one decides they'd like it to be more serious, whereas the other prefers it stay casual. For the one seeking "more" to continue to see the other in hopes that he/she will change their mind is setting oneself up for a world of disappointment and hurt.

I did this in my last serious vanilla relationship. Of course, he didn't tell me he wasn't interested in any sort of committed relationship until I had fallen for him. I let things continue for a few months and realized that it was going nowhere, so I could stay and torture myself with unfulfilled hopes and dreams, or I could walk away and find someone who did want what I wanted.

Making that decision was horribly difficult and heartbreaking for me, but I did it and that's what seriously started me on the path of self discovery that lead me to where I am now. Yay me!

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 3/5/2007 4:27:24 PM

SoCalOTKhristine

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Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Southern California
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I believe strongly in "informed decision making". I put everything up front so someone can make a decision that makes sense for them. BEFORE any type of sexual relationship begins.

I also call it my "disclaimer". I tell the person what I am looking for and what I will not do. At that point, they can make a decision to be with me or not. If they want more and I say no, well, they already knew up front and cannot claim I led them on. I expect the same communication from the other person.

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 3/6/2007 2:21:25 AM

eyesopened

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i firmly believe that people can and do adapt but they do not change. i have also found there is no joy in relationships with conflicting goals. i think the bottom in question would be foolish to continue in the hope things might change and i also think the Top would be cruel to allow her to continue, once He knew her mindset.

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RE: askin subs, if u get topped by a dom and want to be... - 3/6/2007 6:35:26 AM

Mustardseed

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From: Seattle, WA
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I'd consider it an incompatibility and move on. We'd obviously want conflicting things from a relationship and not be in any danger of getting those things from each other without a high amount of drama. I'd resent bottoming for someone who wasn't taking it as seriously as I felt that I was, and I'd be concerned about my wheedling and not so subtle hints causing an uncomfortable situation for that person.

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