RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an online sub/slave?

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 6:17:48 AM

rascallymisty

Posts: 123
Joined: 8/1/2006
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I truely think it is up to the two people that are invovled. My first relationship was 80% online 20% real life. I learned a lot and one of the things I learned was, for me anyhow,........this time when the time is right, it will have to be 80% real life or more and maybe 20% or less on line.

~ misty ~

when you least expect it ... expect it ~ smiles ~

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 6:39:50 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
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It really depends on the actual needs of the people involved. I can see that if a physical relationship (and I'm not talking just about sex) is not required, and the powerplay is the primary goal, it could work. For me, it never would. I need the whole package. I would find online extremely limiting and frustrating, but that is my preference and my opinion.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 6:43:42 AM

SirDominic

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Joined: 11/22/2006
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As a quick follow up. My only real gripe is when people who ARE able to get into a physical relationship, choose to limit themselves to the online kind. That, to my way of thinking is copping out. I have known several subs in my area who supposely are looking for a real time Dom, but months and months go by and they never seem to get past online. They won't even consider a vanilla meeting for coffee.

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 7:02:00 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

In my mind's eyes I see that those who dearly wish to participate in the D/s, M/s and or BDSM but, might be unable to physically interact in real life due to disabilities and or lack of local support and or munch groups. Although a person's body fails the spirit of a Dominant and or submissive; the mind, the emotions and or the spirit still is alive. It is my 'accepting' of all individuals flaws and all that wish to see those who cannot physically participate feel some of what a lot of people take for granted because they are able. I think that a person can serve decently if their core intent is genuine. Of course--there will be those who aren't genuine but, this can be found in able body realms as well as cyberland. True, they are denied the ability to physically participate but, for many--it is the first safe taste of what can be in real life.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

This was so beautifully said...

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 7:16:12 AM

dawntreader

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Joined: 11/23/2006
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For me personally, online can enhance a physical relationship but like juliaoceana, i was without human touch except by my offspring for so long that i crave it, sexual or not. Also i like to touch, to read someone's eyes, hear their voice, etc...

But after reading Lady Hugs post, i certainly have a greater appreciation for those that cannot have a real time relationship and it has changed my perception of the concept~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
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There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 9:05:10 AM

juliaoceania

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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

For me personally, online can enhance a physical relationship but like juliaoceana, i was without human touch except by my offspring for so long that i crave it, sexual or not. Also i like to touch, to read someone's eyes, hear their voice, etc...

I have spent several years celibate at a time between partners I was involved with. I now know how important it is for me (only speaking for me) to have that in my life with the right person. It is easy to let a couple of decades go by without expressing one's sexuality the way one needs to. I can control and subliminate it if I have to, but it is nice not having to do so.

I did not want to give the impression that sex is the most important aspect of our relationship, because it is the shared values, the fun we have, the humor we share, and many other things that really make us click... but the physical aspect is something that is an extension of this.

I love to volunteer (or I used to before I was caretaking for a sick relative). I can serve people in my community. To me service can be a part of my submission, but I think dominants serve too. I think people serve other people, and I can do this in the real world if I really feel the need to do so.

My experience online was something that accidently happened to me in that I was not looking for a dom, I did not yet identify as a submissive, and I did not meet him online in any sexual way... we were friends online for nearly a year before I began talking about D/s with him. It was not something I sought, and it made me incredibly unhappy when it was all said and done. I am so grateful for that experience because it showed me my submissive nature, and it showed me how deserving I was of someone that would honor and respect that nature and truly care for me in the real world. Without that experience I may have continued to get involved every few years with a new vanilla partner and not understand why it never completely "clicked". So I am not denigrating online by far ... I just wanted to make sure I was clear about that

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 12:47:59 PM

pattiann

Posts: 48
Joined: 7/2/2006
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This is long, and may not even answer the OP. But it's MY story and I'm stickin to IT!!

Online is tough, but possible. I've been in a D/s relationship online ONLY for 5mos. (way too long IMO) Some of you might have read my posts early on and know that I have questioned everything. But I have found that it is a useful tool. I have conquered some of my fears, simply because I desire to please my Master. We use a webcam and voice chat. I have a cam; he does not. I finally decided that the purpose of it was to keep me in a submissive mindset. I've seen pictures and he is very open about his family and day to day activities. He always lets me know where he is throughout the day and if he will be late getting online. I've found that this helps me to feel more secure and shows that I am important and in his thoughts. The man is so consistant and detailed in his discussions, that if it isn't all true, he's a pathological genius. LOL. I have chatted with his daughter and some of his friends. (Yes, I know that it could be fake)

Service? I serve Master by accomplishing the tasks that he gives me. It isn't so much about going to bed at a certain time, or dancing on cam or handling candle wax or clothespins. It is about being WILLING to please him. Many times I have wished that he would be MORE micromanaging, because I need it. But I'm sure that he knows it would be a difficult thing to enforce. There have been many, many times that I have questioned my requirements and argued. But only with myself. I don't argue with him. Although he can't reach out and punish me thru the computer, his displeasure is enough to keep me honest. In most cases I submit willingly to his requests, whether I agree, or feel like it. If I am not feeling well, he is understanding. On both sides, family comes first.

He has plans for us to meet and although I don't know what they are, I believe him. We both hope to go 24/7 eventually. That said, please understand that my eyes are WIDE open and I have thought of every negative scenario that could possibly happen. I have begun to accept that things are on his timetable and I have stopped begging to meet. I understand that he wants us to get to know each other as much as is possible online, before the physical aspect overshadows everything.

I've resigned myself to the fact that if the past 5 months have all been just about helping some wanker get his jollys, than it has been a learning experience for me, in that many of my fears have been eased and I've found out much more about my submissive self. I won't be devistated, although I might kick my own ass!

Thanks for hanging in to the end. Pattie

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 1:08:14 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I can only speak for myself. No one can serve ME decently online.

So many times I have had it asked of me and when I reply with a note asking for them to write me a nice letter explaining exactly how they think they can serve me online, I get nothing.

So there you have it, for me it is all or nothing.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/26/2007 1:31:55 PM >

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 6:30:51 PM

CelticPrince

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Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

Well do you think that someone can serve decently as an online sub or slave? How would they be able to do this?

Yes i did it for 2 years before going R/L. It works when both parties are 100% honest with each other, have a good imagination, and can express themselves explicitly in IMs. Having a web cam helps too.

proudsub,

very well put!

CP

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/26/2007 6:45:30 PM

SCDommie

Posts: 176
Joined: 1/24/2007
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It is ok to discuss things online. You can develop a relationship from that standpoint.
From my experience with online submissives is they tend to control the relationship, and are very afraid of their own desires.
The best thing to do is if you meet someone you like online, meet them asap to go to lunch. If they are too far away, and you have no intent of moving to them, keep looking.

SCD

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/27/2007 10:48:48 AM

smart5333

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/18/2006
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I would love to try this.

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/27/2007 11:22:36 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

For once I'm not ging to rambel on and on...

Simply put, no. Online service is all fantasy and there is really no more you can get out of it except some kinky cybersex unless you are looking to get to know someone as a person first.

Online is good to meet people and get to know them, but when it comes to a deep meaning full D/S relationship nothing can replace real life.

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 2/27/2007 11:29:19 AM >

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RE: Do you think that someone can serve decently as an ... - 2/28/2007 9:12:39 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have spent several years celibate at a time between partners I was involved with. I now know how important it is for me (only speaking for me) to have that in my life with the right person. It is easy to let a couple of decades go by without expressing one's sexuality the way one needs to. I can control and subliminate it if I have to, but it is nice not having to do so.

I did not want to give the impression that sex is the most important aspect of our relationship, because it is the shared values, the fun we have, the humor we share, and many other things that really make us click... but the physical aspect is something that is an extension of this.

I love to volunteer (or I used to before I was caretaking for a sick relative). I can serve people in my community. To me service can be a part of my submission, but I think dominants serve too. I think people serve other people, and I can do this in the real world if I really feel the need to do so.

My experience online was something that accidently happened to me in that I was not looking for a dom, I did not yet identify as a submissive, and I did not meet him online in any sexual way... we were friends online for nearly a year before I began talking about D/s with him. It was not something I sought, and it made me incredibly unhappy when it was all said and done. I am so grateful for that experience because it showed me my submissive nature, and it showed me how deserving I was of someone that would honor and respect that nature and truly care for me in the real world. Without that experience I may have continued to get involved every few years with a new vanilla partner and not understand why it never completely "clicked". So I am not denigrating online by far ... I just wanted to make sure I was clear about that

our stories/experiences are very similar :-)

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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Post #: 53