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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:01:34 AM   
CreatfreeAccount


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:p

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:02:35 AM   
CreatfreeAccount


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Thank you Beast.

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:03:08 AM   
SusanofO


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I agree it pays to pat people on the back too, IMO, of you think they've helped you. Thanks for the thanks. It made me feel good.

- Susan 

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:05:41 AM   
dawntreader


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

A dominant still has the authority even when providing a service to their property.




Excellent response LA!!!! Exactly my thoughts!


So in your world, you agree that sometimes a Dom does service their subs.  Thank you for your valuable input,  shared thoughts and time.


In my world, there is no black and white to any issue... people serve people. The greatest leaders the i have admiration for are those that have "served". Service is a very honerable word to me and NOT one i only equate with submission. To me a D/s relationship has as much to do with balance as any thing else so the answer would be yes in my world and i have recieved "service" from Dominants before...but i never considered it nor was it done in the intent of submission.
 
Do you equate service with submission?

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:09:06 AM   
CreatfreeAccount


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Thanks dawn.

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:09:33 AM   
SusanofO


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dawntreader: I think that's an excellent point, IMO basis of relationships ,etc. not-withstanding. I mean, if people weren't getting something out of the relationship from both sides, why would they be in it? And maybe that was the OP's point, too.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/27/2007 11:10:12 AM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:10:01 AM   
bayboundse


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I do not submit to my sub. Taking her interests and emotions into consideration, with my choice being the final one is something else. Hearing her wants and needs is something I enjoy. Do I give her everything she wants or asks for, no. But I do consider it.

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:15:09 AM   
CreatfreeAccount


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In a sense, a dom does "submit to and service" a sub when the sub requests certain acts be done to her and when the dom services that request.  In my viewpoint.  Again it's neither good or bad, wrong or right.

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:19:12 AM   
SusanofO


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CreateAFreeAccount: I can see why some might view it that way - it's a matter of the perspective someone is taking on it, I think. I mean, Dominants protect submissives, and also some provide financially for them. Thye try to be emotionally strong for them, and guide them. That is a service, in a sense, I agree with you. 

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/27/2007 11:38:59 AM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:22:17 AM   
Wulfchyld


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

Do Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes?  If so, is the dominant being submissive when acting out the sub's fantasy for the sub?  If yes,  does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship? 


I consider traffic lights submissive. They are there to serve me, I pay for their upkeep, but I still do as they suggest.

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Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:22:44 AM   
dawntreader


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

In a sense, a dom does "submit to and service" a sub when the sub requests certain acts be done to her and when the dom services that request.  In my viewpoint.  Again it's neither good or bad, wrong or right.


The whole relationship is based on service - it cannot exisit without it...The Dominant is servicing the submissive merely by being a Dominant and fulfilling her need for domination.

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:26:00 AM   
CreatfreeAccount


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I appreciate your thoughts and your educating the newbies in a tasteful manner, as did so many others.

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:27:38 AM   
SusanofO


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CreatefreeAccount: Well, welcome to the CM message boards! Hope you continue to get a lot of helpful information here at CM.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/27/2007 11:30:19 AM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:28:23 AM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

In a sense, a dom does "submit to and service" a sub when the sub requests certain acts be done to her and when the dom services that request.  In my viewpoint.  Again it's neither good or bad, wrong or right.


Why use the particular words *submit and service* ?

I can't quite fathom why you keep using them in an almost pedantic manner.

agirl





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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:29:54 AM   
CreatfreeAccount


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Good.

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:30:56 AM   
SusanofO


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It's a philosophical question, of sorts, I guess.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)
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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:30:58 AM   
CreatfreeAccount


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

CreatefreeAccount: Well, welcome to the CM message boards! Hope you continue to get a lot of helpful information here at CM.

- Susan


Thanks for the welcome and for great conversation. 

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:31:51 AM   
MsKatHouston


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Submit:
1 a : to yield to governance or authority b : to subject to a condition, treatment, or operation <the metal was submitted to analysis>
2 : to present or propose to another for review, consideration, or decision <submit a question to the court> <submit a bid on a contract> <submit a report>; also : to deliver formally <submitted my resignation>
3 : to put forward as an opinion or contention <we submit that the charge is not proved>
intransitive verb
1 a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : SURRENDER b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something <had to submit to surgery>
2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another

Serve:
1 a : to be a servant b : to do military or naval service
2 : to assist a celebrant as server at mass
3 a : to be of use <in a day when few people could write, seals served as signatures -- Elizabeth W. King> b : to be favorable, opportune, or convenient c : to be worthy of reliance or trust <if memory serves> d : to hold an office : discharge a duty or function <serve on a jury>
4 : to prove adequate or satisfactory : SUFFICE <it will serve for this task>
5 : to help persons to food: as a : to wait at table b : to set out portions of food or drink
6 : to wait on customers
7 : to put the ball or shuttlecock in play in various games (as tennis, volleyball, or badminton)
transitive verb
1 a : to be a servant to : ATTEND b : to give the service and respect due to (a superior) c : to comply with the commands or demands of : GRATIFY d : to give military or naval service to e : to perform the duties of (an office or post)
2 : to act as server at (mass)
3 archaic : to pay a lover's or suitor's court to (a lady) <that gentle lady, whom I love and serve -- Edmund Spenser>
4 a : to work through (a term of service ) b : to put in (a term of imprisonment)
5 a : to wait on at table b : to bring (food) to a diner c : PRESENT, PROVIDE -- usually used with up <the novel served up many laughs>
6 a : to furnish or supply with something needed or desired b : to wait on (a customer) in a store c : to furnish professional service to
7 a : to answer the needs of b : to be enough for : SUFFICE c : to contribute or conduce to : PROMOTE
8 : to treat or act toward in a specified way <he served me ill>
9 a : to bring to notice, deliver, or execute as required by law b : to make legal service upon (a person named in a process)
10 of a male animal : to copulate with
11 : to wind yarn or wire tightly around (a rope or stay) for protection
12 : to provide services that benefit or help
13 : to put (the ball or shuttlecock) in play (as in tennis or badminton)

I suppose my agreement or disagreement would depend on the use of the term submit and serve.  A dominant does not yield authority to the submissive nor does s/he comply to commands or demands of the submissive in the relationsip (in most cases).  If that were so, it would seem to me that the power shifted to the submissive.  Most D/s relationships I know of, including my own, do not work from that perspective. 

Instead, the authority remains solely with the dominant.  The submissive serves the dominant.  The submissive submits to the dominant.  Part of that service often includes the open and honest communication of the submissive's desires and needs so that the dominant can consider the best course of action.  The resulting decision may sometimes and even often coincide directly with the submissive's needs and desires. 

I think the problem here is use of particular terms.  Most everyone agrees that a dominant and submissive often agree with what to do in a relationship.  Often a dominant will ask the opinion of and indulge the submissive in their wants and needs.  But when you take terms like "serve" and "submit" it depends on the context.  I do not submit to or serve my submissive.  I do however, serve his needs on occasion because we happen to be highly compatible.  I will sometimes submit to his desires in the meaning of "to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion [or authority] of another.  In my case, it is his opinion I defer to as he has no authority in our relationship.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:34:53 AM   
SusanofO


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CreatfeeAccount: Well, no problem, thanks. Well, This question has been brought up on occasion, and I do think Dominants offer service to submissives. The nature of how the word service is normally used here might lead some to wonder what you are asking. But I do see your point, now that it's been somewhat clarified. People always are getting something from a relationship, on both ends, else why be in it? They also have to be able to get along with eachother, so some compromise inevitably is going to be made, sometimes, IMO. 

If you are really curious about to what ends this concept of what "service" actually means, see the current thread by GoddessGreed on "Money slaves and Dommes" (not that I am comparing the two. It's just an interesting and off-beat example IMO). The thread is titled "Real Doms."

- Susan  

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/27/2007 11:45:15 AM >


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)
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RE: Dominants submit to requests? - 2/27/2007 11:40:03 AM   
SusanofO


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Wow, great post, MsKatHouston!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 120
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