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Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 7:43:17 AM

CreatfreeAccount

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Joined: 2/25/2007
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Do you Female Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes? If so, are you submitting to the subs request when acting out a sub's fantasy for the sub? If yes, does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship? Does this differ from the control professionally dominanted subs experience? Or is it all the same that subs do have some form of control because they all express fantasy desires and allot of dominants (life or pro) will enact and execute a scene for the sub's fantasy?

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 8:08:13 AM

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
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quote:

Do you Female Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes?

Sure I do. I do so because I care about my sub and he needs to get something out of it too. It's a two way street. Plus, he can come up with some really cool scenarios. Why cut off my nose to spite my face so to speak? If he wants to do something, I like it too, why not do it?

quote:

If yes, does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship?

Well sure. If he is not getting his needs met within the relationship, he can leave. He has control over his own life and chooses to give me control. He can always take that away. However, within the context of our consensual power exchange, he has given me control, I have agreed to take it. He is more than welcome and encouraged, to express his desires and wishes to me. We communicate a lot and well. It is my choice to do what I want with those. I do, however, choose to, on occasion, reward him with one of his fantasies or do it just because I also think it would be fun.

quote:

Does this differ from the control professionally dominanted subs experience?

I am in a relationship. So, I do not equate a relationship with a professional scene, even if the client is a regular. So, yes, I suppose it does differ.

quote:

Or is it all the same that subs do have some form of control because they all express fantasy desires and allot of dominants (life or pro) will enact and execute a scene for the sub's fantasy?

I think whether in a pro relationship or life, everyone's needs have to be met. If a pro does exactly what the sub does not want, she will find she no longer has a client. However, within a pro negotiation she has the right to set boundaries and make her own choices and will only do what she wants. In a good pro situation, that will coincide with the client's desires, also. In a life situation, the choice is there to be with someone compatible or not. It may not always go the sub's ideal way, every day. But when all is said and done, everyone is likely getting their needs met or it will not be a successful relationship.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 8:17:03 AM

CreatfreeAccount

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

quote:

Do you Female Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes?

Sure I do. I do so because I care about my sub and he needs to get something out of it too. It's a two way street. Plus, he can come up with some really cool scenarios. Why cut off my nose to spite my face so to speak? If he wants to do something, I like it too, why not do it?

Thank you, it's nice to know that the lifestyle dominant female does cater to her subs desires as do the professional female dominants.

quote:

If yes, does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship?

Well sure. If he is not getting his needs met within the relationship, he can leave. He has control over his own life and chooses to give me control. He can always take that away. He is more than welcome and encouraged, to express his desires and wishes to me. We communicate a lot and well. It is my choice to do what I want with those.

Thank you. This seems fair but in alighment with a professional situation.

quote:

Or is it all the same that subs do have some form of control because they all express fantasy desires and allot of dominants (life or pro) will enact and execute a scene for the sub's fantasy?

I think whether in a pro relationship or life, everyone's needs have to be met. If a pro does exactly what the sub does not want, she will find she no longer has a client. However, within a pro negotiation she has the right to set boundaries and make her own choices and will only do what she wants. In a good pro situation, that will coincide with the client's desires, also. In a life situation, the choice is there to be with someone compatible or not. It may not always go the sub's ideal way, every day. But when all is said and done, everyone is likely getting their needs met or it will not be a successful relationship.

Thank you. I am more clear of the control issue and having needs met between subs and their doms (life or pro).

< Message edited by CreatfreeAccount -- 2/27/2007 8:18:46 AM >

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 8:24:05 AM

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Everyone needs to get something from a relationship or it is not going to last very long. My sub and I discuss our fantasies openly and if we share one then I consider whether or not we will play out. If we do its done to my specifications. If he has a fantasy that I have no interest in then no it will not happen.

Subs/slaves do have control and that control is to leave the relationship if they do not like how it is going. They also have control in the boundaries that are setup as long as the Dominant is in agreement. I do not believe that there are 100% control free subs/slaves there is always something, even if it is small that they control for themselves. Also everyone has their limits regardless of what some might state. I do not know many subs/slaves who would pour gasoline on themselves and set themselves on fire if commanded to do so. If they would, I'd have to say they are mentally unstable.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 8:26:23 AM

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Joined: 7/22/2006
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I dont think it means the Dom is submitting, only making the sub happy which in some situations, is a job of the Dom

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 8:28:33 AM

CreatfreeAccount

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Thank you Lashra.

(in reply to Lashra)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 8:29:43 AM

CreatfreeAccount

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
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If I do something to and for my sub that my sub enjoys, that's not submitting to their request?

(in reply to Arastella)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 8:37:40 AM

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
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Submitting to their request, yes. As in agreeing to it. But it's not switching or submitting within the dynamic of the relationship. The power has not shifted. The dominant simply decided to indulge the submissive.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 8:38:53 AM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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That takes it a little past a laser dice don't it? Say, I am potatoing the couch, some sub approaches me and says:
Do you want a ham sandwich?
Would you like to breath?
How about I give you some dog licking peanut butter head?

I have acquiesed to these in all probability, but the choice is mine to yea or nay it, and I wouldn't be very long amused by owning a dishrag that is incapable of independant thought....

Now, I decide I want to take a shit and get a blowjob at the same time, you will submit to that, desiring it or not.

You can scream your heart out, I want to worship your farts, and you may or not be satisfied......

Why is there always a bruhahaha about these kinda things all the time, is there some ereathral knowledge to be gained from these square dances?

Ron(ne)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 9:00:17 AM

CreatfreeAccount

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Submitting to their request, yes. As in agreeing to it. But it's not switching or submitting within the dynamic of the relationship. The power has not shifted. The dominant simply decided to indulge the submissive.

Thank you once yet again.

Then while a dominant does at times submit to requests of the sub, the dom still maintains control.

Servicing a sub's request does not take away the control of the dominant even though the dominant is submitting to a request for service?

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 9:09:42 AM

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

No it's being a caring human being who acknowledges there are two people in the relationship and the other person has needs too. I like being nice. I choose to do so. If being nice means my sub benefits from it, it takes nothing away from my dominance. I am doing exactly as I please.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 9:31:08 AM

CreatfreeAccount

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
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I dont think that when a Dom caters to a subs request that that takes away the power from the dominant either.

Thanks for sharing.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 10:43:05 AM

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

Do you Female Dominants ever submit to a sub's request to do something specific to the sub that the sub likes? If so, are you submitting to the subs request when acting out a sub's fantasy for the sub? If yes, does that mean the sub has some type of control within the sub/dom relationship? Does this differ from the control professionally dominanted subs experience? Or is it all the same that subs do have some form of control because they all express fantasy desires and allot of dominants (life or pro) will enact and execute a scene for the sub's fantasy?

Do I submit when I do something my slave or submissive likes or requests?

No, of course not, that would make me a submissive in that case and I don't switch, ever in terms of BDSM.

Using the knowledge of what my sub/slave likes is part of my toolbox I use to 1) keep us both happy and 2) excerise my authority to use information I gather in the way I consider best.

Doing things another person wants or desires is not innately dominant or submissive, though it can be either.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 11:19:10 AM

CreatfreeAccount

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
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Thank you Tammy.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 1:12:30 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
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A subs fantasy, when shared and explored with a dom,can be seen also as a level of trust. That one, the sub can be open enought to share his fantasy with the Mistress and not be considered selfish for thinking of their own interest above hers.On the Mistress side, it can represent a level of explorartion with the mind and thoughs of the sub or slave.It allows, or could allow for a deeper connection and a level of added control of the sub through sharing their deepest needs and desires. Under the right situations , it could easily be a win- win for both involved.

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 1:20:02 PM

CreatfreeAccount

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Joined: 2/25/2007
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Thanks that answers my question clearly.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 1:36:01 PM

Posts: 262
Joined: 7/22/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

If I do something to and for my sub that my sub enjoys, that's not submitting to their request?

Only if you think of it that way. Or you could think of it as caring for/taking care of your sub

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 3:32:51 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

In my case, I normally get treats for good behavior.
I agree it is a give and take situation, but she sets the pace and makes the rules.
If a Dominant gives in to much, then the submissive is in charge.

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 4:03:23 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
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I will say I have spoken with doms that don't see this idea of a sub fantasy as anything more than a waste of time to address. You read profiles often on here that say from the begining "my way only" ,. This almost comes off to many slaves as being a fantasy of being under the thumb of a dom who is no nonsense when it comes to slaves. I just always wounder if people can interact that way all of the time ? It seems so one dimensional in a sense.

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)

RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 4:09:04 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreatfreeAccount

If I do something to and for my sub that my sub enjoys, that's not submitting to their request?

I must say that none of my submissives have ever approached me with a "fantasy" request, but when I do things to or for my sub that my sub enjoys, I'm simply being magnanimous.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

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