RE: handling slaves money? (Full Version)

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MasterGremlin -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:07:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: justplainjava

i have said this before do not get married bdsm and marriage do not go hand in hand trust and stay a slave if that is where you heart lies, 


My Master and I will have been married (quite happily) for 8 years come June 12th of this year. 
Sincerely,
minxy



proudsub -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:08:31 PM)

quote:

So to sum it up: We can't take it with us, so it should be enjoyed by all; including the siblings of everybody involved


I think i'm a long lost sibling of yours.[;)]

I take care of all our finances, He doesn't want to deal with it.



SilverShadows -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:13:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

If we are going with a definition of "no limits" equalling no rights, I've made my answer clear. But other people's may differ - and I am all for people doing what they want, and what fulfills their needs.

- Susan


I am only quoting the OP's definition.



proudsub -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:14:30 PM)

quote:

i have said this before do not get married bdsm and marriage do not go hand in hand


What? There are many successful bdsm married couples on this site. We've been married 38 years and the bdsm aspect has only helped things.



SusanofO -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:15:59 PM)

SilverShadows: I knew that. It was pretty all-encompassing a definition, but there are just as many folks who see no difference between a sub and a slave as those who do, so many still debate the definition. If there wasn't a debate about it, we probably wouldn't have so many threads on the topic. I know you weren't being prickly - I think people should just do what they need to do. But I think it pays to be cautious in some areas, and all-out control of finances is one of them when relationships break up so frequently. But I don't want to dampen anyone's optimism or "good feeling" about whatever they've got together, either.

- Susan  



proudsub -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:16:58 PM)

quote:

many subs lack discipline and need help with budgeting and limits on spending.


So do many doms. [:o]

quote:

if a dom knows about investing he should invest the slaves money, 


And what if it's the slave that is knowledgable about investing?[:o]



SusanofO -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:18:09 PM)

Yay proudsub! Great points.

- Susan



swtrayn -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:19:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGremlin

I am owned by my Master and therefore anything I have is His, including my paycheck.  I trust Him to do what is best for both of U/us, otherwise I would not have given myself to Him in the first place.

Cordially,
minxy [:)]


[:D]
I have to say, I couldn't of said it better.
If one can the trust the Dom/Master with your body, your health, your love, and all the wonderful things a sub/slave can give to their Dom/Master/Top. Then how could one not trust them with a pay check???   Just curious.

swtrayn




TemptingNviceSub -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 7:53:39 PM)

Because you tend as a person to take a leap of faith with your heart and body..but when it comes to money, it is an even harder leap of faith and most cannot or will not do so...especially I think as you get older and know that your earning power gets harder and harder to recoup from if any form of financial devastation is done...Tempting



SusanofO -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 9:07:09 PM)

Good point, TemptingNviceSub. IMO, unless a Dominant (or whoever of the two is making these decisions) can absolutely guarantee the relationship either isn't going to end unless either party dies, and is also more the more capable of the two of making provisions for the other party's long-term financial security, then they shouldn't be messing around with it, or be given access to meddling with their long-term financial security. But that is me speaking about how I feel. I really do think people should do what they want (I do).

If it makes someone feel more "submissive" to give over complete control of all finances, then they should do that. They should also not bitch, moan and whine if, in ten years, say, they are released, and no nest-egg exists for them, for example.

I am not saying people screw with other's finances behind their backs as a matter of course. I am saying it's definitely possible, and if a person you give over complete financial control to is also unwilling to answer any questions you have about how it's all going (and maybe even if they are, presuming they have "complete financial control" in the realtionship), you can get screwed over and left with little recourse, less so maybe, if you are married. 

Even if you have "input" into financial decisions now, if you are in a position where you have declared you are "no limits", then presumably, that could (gradually or quickly) change and there is nothing you could do about it (except walk away with your empty pockets, possibly). I am assuming some can say "that would never happen to me." Well. How do you really know that? I don't know that (reason for my opinion).

- Susan



susie -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/27/2007 11:26:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

And what if it's the slave that is knowledgable about investing?[:o]


Since Master and I moved in together our finances have been combined. He runs his own business and I work full time. In our relationship it is me that controls all the money not just our personal funds but also in his business. I am an accountant so it makes more sense for me to and it is a role he has passed on to me. The fact that I manage our money does not make me any less his slave because at the end of the day I know that he always has the ultimate say in what happens.  



BeingChewsie -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 5:37:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fusion

What is the group think on handling the finances for a no limits, no rights slave?   Heard to bank her earning for her if there is a parting.  Read others are income earners for their msters, how they feel on the subject?  Any sent away slaves with input?



I'm an earner for my owner. He doesn't bank my money for any eventual parting. It is his free and clear and he spends it..free and clear. Call us idealists there is no back-up plan here.

If you think banking some money for her for an eventual parting is a good plan by all means do it.



KatyLied -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 6:04:16 AM)

quote:

Then how could one not trust them with a pay check??? Just curious.


Easy answer.  I need to do what I can to make sure I leave some $$ for um's.  I would never consent to handing over my earnings, savings and ira's (and I'm by no means rich).  I left a 19 year marriage and started over from scratch.  Money is a huge issue for me. 



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 6:08:07 AM)

not a slave but a submissive

i've learned this before i was married (and now divorced), that separate accounts work best because when there's a break-up, the money issues take the longest to settle. it's not just the rich and wealthy that this happens but regular people too when they have joint accounts.



MasterGremlin -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 6:51:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Because you tend as a person to take a leap of faith with your heart and body..but when it comes to money, it is an even harder leap of faith and most cannot or will not do so...especially I think as you get older and know that your earning power gets harder and harder to recoup from if any form of financial devastation is done...Tempting


I was 34 when I met Master and moved in with Him....how much "older" do you have to be to have trust issues like this?

I have also been married (vanilla) twice before and wouldn't (and didn't) trust either one of them with a dime.  In those relationships I either took care of all the money or kept "mine" seperate. 

I trust my Master to do what is best for both of U/us.  If I was better at finances than He is, He would have me take care of the money.  Since He is better at it, He handles it.  It is a very simple matter really. 

Cordially,
minxy [:)]



SusanofO -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 7:07:01 AM)

Well Gremlin, you're married. And I am Not dissing you, so please don't take offense. I do think the situation is different if one is not married, but living with someone - and so with much less consequent potential legal protection if someone decides to do some (not all) things that are unsavory with one's funds  (but that is just my perspective. But it is very real).

I was married too, and I let my husband handle everything (he was much better at it then me). But - I would never give total control of finances to someone to whom I was not married. But again, I really do think people should do what they want (I really do). As long as they can live with the results.

I do think my perspective might have something to do with getting older (but I also have a sister who is an attorney and hear a lot of "horror stories"). Frankly, I didn't worry too much about things like retirement until I turned about 45 (which is way too late, btw, IMO, but that's par for the course in this country. I'll be okay financially when I retire - unless the economy totally collapses, or I do something extra stupid now) - but that is not the case with everyone out there, unfortunately.  

- Susan



jauntyone -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 7:13:00 AM)

Even before Master and i married, this was something that we talked in great detail about. Master is old-fashioned enough that he perfers 'taking care' of the financial aspects of our life, yet he is also aware that sitting around all day with nothing to stimulate my mind would have me crawling the walls in a day. As a compromise, he allows me to work but all my earnings go into a seperate account that neither of us touches ( it is set up specifically for emergencies and vacations ); with this in place, he get's to support me, and i get to do something that i truly enjoy. It is also agreed between us that at any time, if he wishes it to be so, he may demand that I stop working. If this was to happen, it was agreed that we would keep the account open and Master would deposit half of what I put into it now on a monthly basis.
 
In addition to this, at the beginning of our relationship we did have a legal contract drawn up that clearly defines the lines of financial responsibility for both of us. When we married, it was re-written into a pre-nup that both of us signed.
 



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 7:53:46 AM)

I don't know what to think about this thread,Isn't a slave total property to do as ones owner ask of them? This is to include paychecks ie.Excluding what you had when you entered the relationship,As a sub you should have the right to control your future,,AS I have stated in the past 50% goes to the household fund and the rest is place in an account in their name only..Be smart girls for I have seen those kicked to the curb with out even fare to leave...Trust in your owner plays a big part of this and if he doesn't look towards your future in some form or fashion then perhaps he isn't for you...THIS is especially true with older owners and younger slaves...OF courses as always just the views of this ol" master....bounty



ownedgirlie -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 9:51:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fusion

What is the group think on handling the finances for a no limits, no rights slave?   Heard to bank her earning for her if there is a parting.  Read others are income earners for their msters, how they feel on the subject?  Any sent away slaves with input?


I live alone and he prefers me to manage my own money as he does not want to. However, he will instruct me from time to time, or I will seek his counsel on the subject on occasion, also.  If at any time he said to hand it over, I would, but he does not want to be burdened with that and makes enough on his own where he does not want mine.

It is his goal for me that I am financially stable and secure and he is working with me to achieve that currently.



daddysprop247 -> RE: handling slaves money? (2/28/2007 10:05:11 AM)

my Master handles all financial matters in this household. most of the time i do not earn any money, however when i do it all goes to him, obviously. He spends or saves it as he wills, it's really none of my business. but i can say that there is no "rainy day" stash he's putting away for me in case of release...that's just not his way. as a slave i am not entitled to anything, financial "security" included. besides if the nightmare of being released ever occured, the absolute last thing i would care about is money.



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