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baileythorne -> RE: Public scening? (3/31/2005 11:13:21 PM)
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Here's something I wrote some time ago for another list I was on.
Still rings true for me:
What's the attraction to public play?
I work in an industry where there is no moral's clause,
I have no children, and I am not concerned about finding
employment if I get outted. I understand that I'm "lucky" to
be able to pursue my kink this openly, but I also realize I
am taking a risk. However, the more people that take this
risk, the more people that reach out and educate those
who do not understand us, the more chance that in the
future there will be fewer of us who are afraid to be out.
I realize others cannot do this. I make the effort
because I can.
Let me qualify that my experience with the "public" scene
has been either in the San Francisco Bay area or at national
conventions (Black Rose, Thunder, LIL, IML, LeatherFest,
Odyssey's Folsom Weekend, OCLA, and possibly a
few I've forgotten).
After chatting with people from other areas of the country,
I'm starting to understand that SF may be one of the kink
Mecca’s of the country and my experiences may have
been very different if I had started my journey elsewhere.
With that said...
The list below was posted to a discussion list in the North
Carolina area when asked this question.
It has been edited for context.
--bailey
-----Original Message-----
From: bailey
Sent: Sunday, April 07, 2002 11:08 AM
Subject: RE: [<listname>] Playing in Public
Hi there,
}I just don't understand what the big deal is about
playing in public.
There are lots of reasons to play in public. My list is below.
However, I realize that we have many more public spaces
to play in San Francisco than I think exist in [other places].
-- When I first found the scene, playing in public gave
me an extra safety net - there were witnesses.
-- I don't play to the audience, but I do pick up the energy
of the audience at times, and leverage that into the scene.
-- I can be louder in a public play space than I can be at
home. And when we play with pain, I am *loud*.
-- They have much more variety in equipment at the
dungeons around here than I could afford or fit into my home.
-- I learn by watching... I see things I'd never imagine doing.
And the next thing you know, we've added them to our
list of play ideas.
-- You can ask for "coaching". We have friends that will do
private demos for us or vice versa. I've been the initial
"pin cushion" for at least 4 of my partners, and in several
cases, I had an ex-partner talk a newbie partner through
a scene and explain the safety considerations. At Kinkfest,
we did a demo for one of my ex-partners on catheter play.
-- We like to add other people to our scenes: my partner
subcontracts out parts of our scenes at times, like needle
play. We have very good friends that can add to a scene
then go back to their original agenda for the evening.
-- I like the ritual of dressing up to go out. I start when
I shower in the morning, shaving the parts I might not
shave during the week. I carefully pick my clothing and
toys to pack... it all creates a build up to the scene.
-- ok, I am an exhibitionist....
-- and finally, I really like it when a friend drops me a
note or even a stranger at a munch will find me and tell
me how much they enjoyed the scene... oddly enough at
Kinkfest we were asked to teach a class on resistance play
after a total stranger saw us wrestling in the
dungeon Friday night.
Your comment about flogging scenes [they appear repetitive,
uninspired, and just about the only type of scene in some
dungeons…] struck a chord. I have found that I prefer play
that puts us face-to-face or if not, is hands-on.
--bailey
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