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[Poll]

Public scening?


Do it, love it, can't wait for the next party
  26% (20)
Done it, it's ok, would do it again with the right person
  18% (14)
Done it, would rather not do it again
  1% (1)
Haven't done it, but very interested
  14% (11)
Haven't done it, but might with the right person
  26% (20)
Haven't done it and don't intend to.
  13% (10)


Total Votes : 76


(last vote on : 2/26/2008 5:09:20 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Public scening? - 3/25/2005 9:01:10 PM   
SweetDommes


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This poll is started because of a discussion that has lead another thread way off topic, and I'm just curious to see what the ratios actually are out there ...

And I am not making any distictions between those who live this 24/7 and those who don't - mostly because I don't care ... so I hope that we don't get into that discussion here. I seriously just want to know about this particular question.

Oh, heh, I suppose I should answer it - we don't do plublic play and don't intend to. We know many who do, but it's just not our thing.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 3/25/2005 9:02:16 PM >
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RE: Public scening? - 3/25/2005 9:22:36 PM   
proudsub


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Hubby won't do anything in public so i had to vote i don't intend to, much as i would like to. My first dom played with me on a public cam site if that counts, i loved that.

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RE: Public scening? - 3/25/2005 9:37:01 PM   
Mercnbeth


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The erotic energy at some of the parties is awesome. Even though we have a nice play room at home we don't yet have all the furniture and fixtures we want. The clubs we attend have all kinds of neat equipment. We enjoy not only the playing in public but watching others scene during the rest periods. Many times I've gone up and complimented the couple after a particularly erotic and intense scene, and we've had others come up to us and do the same. Amazingly, during, we don't even know anyone is around. We also enjoy just sitting around getting to know and chatting and with the other people. It's lots of fun!

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RE: Public scening? - 3/25/2005 9:46:41 PM   
SweetDommes


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Yeah, we've heard that a lot from people who are trying to talk us into trying it for the experience. We have thought about it ... but as of right now, haven't really found any place that we would feel comfortable in doing any kind of public scene - we aren't really into "the scene" anyway - we only go to one of the munch groups that we are actually members of because of some majorly bad experiences, and there aren't too many clubs around that we have heard much of anything about.

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RE: Public scening? - 3/25/2005 9:55:05 PM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

trying it for the experience.


Sweet Dommes,
We can appreciate that. Imagine there also aren't many options in Indiana. Sometimes it's easier if you attend the first time with another couple you've met and can trust. We've served that function quite a few times. All the places we go are very new person friendly. There are usually enough people there that if you just want to watch and not participate it's fine.

Amazingly most of the time the couples or single people we take with us for their first experience say they just want to watch and observe the first time. 100% of them end up in some sort of play before the night is over. Like I said, the energy and sheer eroticism around you is intoxicating, and difficult to resist.

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RE: Public scening? - 3/25/2005 9:57:04 PM   
SweetDommes


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Yeah, that would be another problem ... there isn't really anyone in the area that we trust enough to go with them. There are a few, but they are actually farther from the clubs than we are and they haven't gone to them either.

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RE: Public scening? - 3/26/2005 3:17:12 PM   
SweetDommes


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Now, surely there are more than 8 people out there who have opinions about this ...

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RE: Public scening? - 3/27/2005 2:56:43 PM   
domtimothy46176


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I used to play publicly with my ex when we lived in Ft Wayne and it was cool because the core of the munch group got together and partied. There weren't that many of us and we were all pretty close in age and interest. Indianapolis, on the other hand is a much larger scene and it has consequently been more difficult to get to know all the participants. We have made some close friendships but the majority of folks we see at tha slosh or munch or even at Alternatives are people we may recognize from seeing them before but not anyone we can say we know well.
For us, that makes a big difference. My girl is really shy and I'm not about to traumatize her just to satisfy my exhibitionistic tendencies. I will say, however, that playing in public with my ex was a great way to get to know some of the other folks better. Comparing toys and techniques can be a great ice-breaker. We've been invited to demos and play parties with some of the other folks from the munch and the demo we did attend was both interesting and a much more intimate setting that made my girl a lot more comfortable than she usually is in a group of relative strangers.
All in all, while I've done it before and might do it again, I think I would still prefer to keep things at least semi-private, with folks I know something about rather than a completely public arena.
Timothy

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RE: Public scening? - 3/27/2005 8:52:47 PM   
MissA


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I love public and private scenes just about equally. I'm a voyeur and an exhibitionist so I love watching and being watched. Granted the public scenes tend to be more "showy" on the whole, but it's nice to watch others scene publicly and maybe get new ideas.

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RE: Public scening? - 3/27/2005 9:17:33 PM   
glendon69


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Voted havent but Intrested and that is ture but have in a way but not a party but in a bar for a contest for backstage passes to a concert. was very simulating even if the roles reversed on the way to the bar and i ended up in a sub role. but am planing to attend my first party this weekend.

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RE: Public scening? - 3/28/2005 4:39:20 PM   
SweetDommes


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I appreciate the input that everyone who has answered has given ... of course, a couple of the people that I was hoping to see reply to it haven't, but I'm not particularly surprised. Anyone else with input for me?

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RE: Public scening? - 3/28/2005 4:56:17 PM   
topcat


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quote:

Anyone else with input for me?


M. Karen-

Count me in for do it, love it, etc., though I have gone at times as much as three years without working in a public space, dependant on the needs of my partner.

I do find that the uncertainy many subordinates feel in a public space often enhances their tendency to reach out to me for connection, and I enjoy the feedback from the observers, as well as the space and equipment which my home lacks.

Stay warm,
Lawrence


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RE: Public scening? - 3/28/2005 5:58:25 PM   
celestia


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Just posting my vote. I have just begun to get involved in public scenes, and I honestly thought it was not something I would handle well the first time, but I absolutely love it. Like Mercnbeth, the times that I have I haven't even noticed the other people, unless I am interacting with them. Can't wait for more.

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RE: Public scening? - 3/29/2005 9:06:45 PM   
SweetDommes


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Anyone else?

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RE: Public scening? - 3/29/2005 9:56:38 PM   
MizSuz


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I'm a bit on the exhibitionistic side so public play really feeds that part of my kink, whether I'm aware of the folks around me or not (just depends on who I'm with and how it's going).


Done it (a good bit of it), love it, but I'm a patient woman and can usually wait to do it again <smile> Besides, I really hate dragging my stuff all over hell and creation when it's all right at my fingertips in the home dungeon.

Having said that, I have a road trip for a party coming up soon and I am really looking forward to that, but it's more about the folks I'm going to be spending time with than it is the potential play. I tend to take the play as it comes, if it feels right, in a public situation and don't usually put a lot of advanced thought into it (unless it's an intricate scene that requires a lot of planning or I'm going to be doing a demo or workshop).

Do/ne it, love it, will inevitably do it again but I don't live for it. It's lagniappe.


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RE: Public scening? - 3/30/2005 4:31:51 PM   
resademilo


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I'm one of the don't intend to do it. I've been to socials been to play parties, watched the scenes, yes been around the intensity but never had the interest to make a show of it and plenty have tried to convince even more offered to scene with me.

It's definitely something that depends on the person. I'm extremely private so i like my little show to be highly exclusive. =P

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RE: Public scening? - 3/30/2005 4:44:24 PM   
SweetDommes


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Yeah, that's pretty much how we feel about it. As I pointed out in the thread that sparked this little poll, in our relationship there is a certain amount of exhibitionism/voyuerism inherent in any scene. At any given time, one of us may step back to admire what the other is doing... But it is just for us and no one else.

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RE: Public scening? - 3/31/2005 11:13:21 PM   
baileythorne


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Here's something I wrote some time ago for another list I was on.
Still rings true for me:

What's the attraction to public play?

I work in an industry where there is no moral's clause,
I have no children, and I am not concerned about finding
employment if I get outted. I understand that I'm "lucky" to
be able to pursue my kink this openly, but I also realize I
am taking a risk. However, the more people that take this
risk, the more people that reach out and educate those
who do not understand us, the more chance that in the
future there will be fewer of us who are afraid to be out.
I realize others cannot do this. I make the effort
because I can.

Let me qualify that my experience with the "public" scene
has been either in the San Francisco Bay area or at national
conventions (Black Rose, Thunder, LIL, IML, LeatherFest,
Odyssey's Folsom Weekend, OCLA, and possibly a
few I've forgotten).

After chatting with people from other areas of the country,
I'm starting to understand that SF may be one of the kink
Mecca’s of the country and my experiences may have
been very different if I had started my journey elsewhere.
With that said...

The list below was posted to a discussion list in the North
Carolina area when asked this question.
It has been edited for context.

--bailey

-----Original Message-----
From: bailey
Sent: Sunday, April 07, 2002 11:08 AM
Subject: RE: [<listname>] Playing in Public


Hi there,

}I just don't understand what the big deal is about
playing in public.

There are lots of reasons to play in public. My list is below.
However, I realize that we have many more public spaces
to play in San Francisco than I think exist in [other places].

-- When I first found the scene, playing in public gave
me an extra safety net - there were witnesses.

-- I don't play to the audience, but I do pick up the energy
of the audience at times, and leverage that into the scene.

-- I can be louder in a public play space than I can be at
home. And when we play with pain, I am *loud*.

-- They have much more variety in equipment at the
dungeons around here than I could afford or fit into my home.

-- I learn by watching... I see things I'd never imagine doing.
And the next thing you know, we've added them to our
list of play ideas.

-- You can ask for "coaching". We have friends that will do
private demos for us or vice versa. I've been the initial
"pin cushion" for at least 4 of my partners, and in several
cases, I had an ex-partner talk a newbie partner through
a scene and explain the safety considerations. At Kinkfest,
we did a demo for one of my ex-partners on catheter play.

-- We like to add other people to our scenes: my partner
subcontracts out parts of our scenes at times, like needle
play. We have very good friends that can add to a scene
then go back to their original agenda for the evening.

-- I like the ritual of dressing up to go out. I start when
I shower in the morning, shaving the parts I might not
shave during the week. I carefully pick my clothing and
toys to pack... it all creates a build up to the scene.

-- ok, I am an exhibitionist....

-- and finally, I really like it when a friend drops me a
note or even a stranger at a munch will find me and tell
me how much they enjoyed the scene... oddly enough at
Kinkfest we were asked to teach a class on resistance play
after a total stranger saw us wrestling in the
dungeon Friday night.

Your comment about flogging scenes [they appear repetitive,
uninspired, and just about the only type of scene in some
dungeons…] struck a chord. I have found that I prefer play
that puts us face-to-face or if not, is hands-on.

--bailey




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Love like you've never been hurt.

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RE: Public scening? - 4/1/2005 7:35:34 AM   
SweetDommes


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Because of my profession, I could lose my job - many times over. But that is not why we don't scene in public. It just holds absolutely no interest for us. We have the 'safety in numbers' thing covered, especially now that we have one boy living with us already, so that isn't even an issue for us. We also have each other to practice new things on, and friends who can/will show us things privately - again, that takes away what little draw the public scene would have for us ... I really can't see us ever changing our minds - it could happen, but I doubt it.

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RE: Public scening? - 4/2/2005 8:39:35 AM   
SweetDommes


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The results so far are pretty much what I had expected ... I wish that more people would vote though - even if they don't wish to post any reasonings for it. As a scientist, I know that 38 people is way too small of a subsection to use to make any kinds of conclusions, even though the results so far mirror my r/l experience in talking to people at munches and other places.

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