baileythorne
Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004 Status: offline
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Here's something I wrote some time ago for another list I was on. Still rings true for me: What's the attraction to public play? I work in an industry where there is no moral's clause, I have no children, and I am not concerned about finding employment if I get outted. I understand that I'm "lucky" to be able to pursue my kink this openly, but I also realize I am taking a risk. However, the more people that take this risk, the more people that reach out and educate those who do not understand us, the more chance that in the future there will be fewer of us who are afraid to be out. I realize others cannot do this. I make the effort because I can. Let me qualify that my experience with the "public" scene has been either in the San Francisco Bay area or at national conventions (Black Rose, Thunder, LIL, IML, LeatherFest, Odyssey's Folsom Weekend, OCLA, and possibly a few I've forgotten). After chatting with people from other areas of the country, I'm starting to understand that SF may be one of the kink Mecca’s of the country and my experiences may have been very different if I had started my journey elsewhere. With that said... The list below was posted to a discussion list in the North Carolina area when asked this question. It has been edited for context. --bailey -----Original Message----- From: bailey Sent: Sunday, April 07, 2002 11:08 AM Subject: RE: [<listname>] Playing in Public Hi there, }I just don't understand what the big deal is about playing in public. There are lots of reasons to play in public. My list is below. However, I realize that we have many more public spaces to play in San Francisco than I think exist in [other places]. -- When I first found the scene, playing in public gave me an extra safety net - there were witnesses. -- I don't play to the audience, but I do pick up the energy of the audience at times, and leverage that into the scene. -- I can be louder in a public play space than I can be at home. And when we play with pain, I am *loud*. -- They have much more variety in equipment at the dungeons around here than I could afford or fit into my home. -- I learn by watching... I see things I'd never imagine doing. And the next thing you know, we've added them to our list of play ideas. -- You can ask for "coaching". We have friends that will do private demos for us or vice versa. I've been the initial "pin cushion" for at least 4 of my partners, and in several cases, I had an ex-partner talk a newbie partner through a scene and explain the safety considerations. At Kinkfest, we did a demo for one of my ex-partners on catheter play. -- We like to add other people to our scenes: my partner subcontracts out parts of our scenes at times, like needle play. We have very good friends that can add to a scene then go back to their original agenda for the evening. -- I like the ritual of dressing up to go out. I start when I shower in the morning, shaving the parts I might not shave during the week. I carefully pick my clothing and toys to pack... it all creates a build up to the scene. -- ok, I am an exhibitionist.... -- and finally, I really like it when a friend drops me a note or even a stranger at a munch will find me and tell me how much they enjoyed the scene... oddly enough at Kinkfest we were asked to teach a class on resistance play after a total stranger saw us wrestling in the dungeon Friday night. Your comment about flogging scenes [they appear repetitive, uninspired, and just about the only type of scene in some dungeons…] struck a chord. I have found that I prefer play that puts us face-to-face or if not, is hands-on. --bailey
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Dance like no one's watching and Love like you've never been hurt.
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