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RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/2/2007 10:23:03 PM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

Age can equal experience WITH A SPECIFIC DOM OR GROUP OF DOMS.

Having had a successful situation (or an unsuccessful one) doesn't mean what you've learned in that situation will transfer to the next one.

Remember, your job as a submissive is to please your dominant. It may help that you've learned to please one or it may be a case of "negative transfer of training." One of the worst relationship I ever had was with an "experienced" submissive who kept insisting on plopping down in to weird positions every time I entered the room and walking six paces behind me.... have you ever tried to TALK with someone six paces behind you??

The bottom line is don't worry about your age or your experience. Just try to find a dominant you'll be happy making happy.

I do have a wonderful Master. I have been very luck to have found him so early in life, he is actually the one who got me active in the lifestyle when I was 18.

The reason I asked this question was not because I'm not focused on Master, but because I feel that others don't take into account that I have been well trained because of my age.

Shylah

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Post #: 21

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/2/2007 10:26:15 PM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sugarcandy

IMHO, sugar
PS I envy you <smile> for having early access to the internet. When I was 18 : there were only the rough leather bars down by the docks!

LOL... sorry for not saying this before, but I don't do anything online as far as play or D/s gose... I actually didn't even have a profile involving anything in BDSM untill about 5 months of entering the lifestyle. I do everything in real life, online BDSM doesn't hold any intrest for me beyond just chatting.

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 3/2/2007 10:39:31 PM >

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Post #: 22

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 1:44:06 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

OK, I've got to say this...I find Shylahgirl's Assatar (Avatar) very distracting to reading posts. I find myself fumbling with my mouse... and thinking wicked thoughts... DAMN you Shylahgirl.!! I totally forget what this thread is all about!!

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 23

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 2:06:12 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

I wish I was 20 again. I knew it all back then.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 24

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 4:58:24 AM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

You are working against the idea though that is so basic.
For every 100 young lifestylers who claim they are experienced "beyond their years" how many of them actually are?
The same goes and can be applied to many groups. When I started out, I had to fight the Single Het Male Dominant stereotype. I looked at it as a matter of paying my dues.

And I think the envy based on your having the interet available at your age/ experience level speaks more to the fact that you have access to information relatively easily, and a way of communicating with others about when where etc events and conventions, and parties and fundraisers etc are going on. Access to books by dozens of authors exploring the realm of BDSM and D/s that simply were not available to many folks when they were two years into this stuff. (and you can order them without having to drive to the seedy part of town ) Click and Amazon can send you any of the nearly 100 kinky books.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 25

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 9:08:54 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

OK, I've got to say this...I find Shylahgirl's Assatar (Avatar) very distracting to reading posts. I find myself fumbling with my mouse... and thinking wicked thoughts... DAMN you Shylahgirl.!! I totally forget what this thread is all about!!

*roles her eyes*

Then read the thread again. Don't whine about how you fucking cock was to distracted by the human body for you brain to actually work.

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 3/3/2007 9:11:14 AM >

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Post #: 26

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 9:13:51 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I wish I was 20 again. I knew it all back then.

LOL... I'm not claming to know it all... I'm the first to admit that I still have many decades of learning ahead of me before I will even start pretending like I know it all.

Alothough alot of 20 years old do think they know it all. ;)

Shylah

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Post #: 27

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 9:14:30 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Does age = experience?

No.

Age = more opportunties for experience.

Whether or not you have taken advance of those years is a very different matter.

Not all experiences weigh equally (in my not too humble opinion).

Very well said!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 28

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 9:20:56 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

Does age equal experience?

Speaking as someone who is 20 years old and entered the BDSM community at 18 I was wondering why people think that because of my young age they automatically have to know more about the lifestyle then me.

I’m not saying that I know everything there is to know, far from it. But I’ve been talked down to by people in the lifestyle simply because of my age, they don't take the time to really talk to me at all… then they see me play and are forced to eat their words. (this happens with both tops and bottems)

When someone meets me for the first time, usually they assume I’m 23 or 24 years old, and are shocked when I tell them my age.

This isn’t because I look older.

So, yea, do you think age means experience?

Why?

Shylah

Age doesn't necessarily equate into anything.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 29

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 9:30:35 AM

boltaction

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline

I'm lucky I approached the subject in a learning way. I picked up two books (New Topping and New Bottoming) and have a spanking teacher who I meet most every month ^_^

And I admit that I don't know all that much. For instance, I don't know how to properly flog someone. If someone asks me to right now I will say no. Why? Because I'm not eager to take out an eye. I hope I'm in the majority of young doms...

< Message edited by boltaction -- 3/3/2007 9:33:04 AM >

(in reply to dawntreader)

Post #: 30

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 9:39:15 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl
So, yea, do you think age means experience?

I agree with the others who said that age does not equal experience, just the opportunity to have had experience. I know many people who did not even enter the lifestyle until middle age or later. In fact, I recently met a man around 65 years old who has only been in the lifestyle a few months. On the other hand, I know people in their twenties who have been in the lifestyle for several years. So when I look at a person, I don't make any assumptions about their level of experience based on how old they appear to be.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 31

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 9:59:51 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

NO it doesn't,I have see some older folks dumb as a red brick and some young ones as bright as a shinning star,AGE equates nothing but some hard living..bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

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Post #: 32

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 12:02:46 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

OK, I've got to say this...I find Shylahgirl's Assatar (Avatar) very distracting to reading posts. I find myself fumbling with my mouse... and thinking wicked thoughts... DAMN you Shylahgirl.!! I totally forget what this thread is all about!!

*roles her eyes*

Then read the thread again. Don't whine about how you fucking cock was to distracted by the human body for you brain to actually work.

Shylah

Has nothing to do with my cock, that's another thread somewhere, I just think pure BDSM spankable thoughts when I see your Avatar! Ummmmm.... you don't like people which whine... Mmmmmm.... evil saddistic side of my mind at work now... Mmmmm... thinking about all those Saturday Night Live skits now....

Good lord, you can't please 'em when you let them know they get your attention through provacative pretense...

There are others out there that experience the same distraction! I know there is! Ahhh.. Hell... Don't tell me I'm the only pervert wandering through Disney Land....

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 33

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 6:08:07 PM

scottjk

Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

Does age equal experience?

Speaking as someone who is 20 years old and entered the BDSM community at 18 I was wondering why people think that because of my young age they automatically have to know more about the lifestyle then me.

I’m not saying that I know everything there is to know, far from it. But I’ve been talked down to by people in the lifestyle simply because of my age, they don't take the time to really talk to me at all… then they see me play and are forced to eat their words. (this happens with both tops and bottems)

When someone meets me for the first time, usually they assume I’m 23 or 24 years old, and are shocked when I tell them my age.

This isn’t because I look older.

So, yea, do you think age means experience?

Why?

Shylah

I'll throw in my two dimes here...

I hope this will apply to both sides of the flogger as well. It's been something that I've been pondering for some time, especially since there's a demand for 'experienced' doms or subs from both sides of said flogger. Personally, I don't think they know what they're asking for, since it's inherently an abstract or an ambiguous term.

Age doesn't equate to experience.
Knowledge doesn't equate to experience.

Age:
You can be young or old and have very little or quite a bit of experience. You can also be young or old and have quite a lot of experience in a few topics or activities and very little in others.

Knowledge:
You can have quite a bit of knowledge in a topic or activity yet have little or no experience. You can also have little knowledge in in a topic or activity, yet be quite experienced. (Strange, but possible. Consider flying for a moment. You can fly with no knowledge of the physics.)

Bear with me folks, I'm almost done!

So, what should we do? Ignore age or experience and focus on knowledge and skill. Those are a more valuable trait than experience. Gently correct those that demand experience with the concept of knowledge and skill, you'll save them from a lot of frustration.

Shylah? Just ask yourself the next time some makes an assumption about you and acts on that assumption, "Is it true?" If it isn't, it's not your problem, it's theirs.

Besides, they outed themselves regarding their own ignorance just for you!

It's a good thing to know, isn't it?

Disclamer: My views and opinions are my own and not intended to insult or annoy anyone. Opposing views and opinions are welcome and encouraged.

_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 34

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/3/2007 8:21:16 PM

ToServeIsToLive

Posts: 222
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Age doesn't equal experience, but there's three key concepts. One: a 20 year old can't have 30 years experience. Two: a 100 year old can have no experience. Three: some people can do things till it gives them arthritis and still stink at it, and others are talented before they begin. To put it in words young people can only have so much experience, aging doesn't grant you experience, and experience isn't the end all determinate for skill anyway.

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 35

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/5/2007 2:16:01 AM

KennelDeSade2

Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

Does age equal experience?

No.

Some people have ten years experience. Others have a single year of experience, repeated ten times.

Experience does not count, unless you learn from it.

_____________________________

Rules? Just one: I say, she does.
Everything else, is just details.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 36

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/5/2007 5:49:13 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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So you perform in front of other people. Is that what it takes to be experienced?

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Post #: 37

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/5/2007 6:18:36 AM

amuzingtoyou

Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline

Age does not equal experience..with that said...life experience does matter. Maturity does matter. And certain maturity comes with life experience. There is no other way about it. I thought at 20 i was pretty darn mature. I lived on my own and was putting myself thru college. How wrong i was. But being 20 is an age of self discovery. Finding out who you are and what it is you want to pursue in life. You have to accept that some people are not going to listen to what you have to say based on your age. You can't control how other people behave whether its right or wrong. The only thing you can control is how you react to it. People are always going to have comments about you, whether its based on your age, weight, hair color, etc. My advice to you is ignore those who are ignorant. If you are happy with your exeperience, than you don't have anything to prove.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 38

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/5/2007 10:27:54 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

So you perform in front of other people. Is that what it takes to be experienced?

I ment that I play at parties... I don't preforme.

I wasn't just talking about play ether.

When others see me in service to Master... I have served him for a little over a year now... they don't seem to show Master the same respect as they would those with older subs... it might also be that Master is 29 and not veary old by most starndards.

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 3/5/2007 10:58:02 AM >

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Post #: 39

RE: Does age equal experience? - 3/5/2007 1:06:56 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Does age = experience?

No.

Age = more opportunties for experience.

Whether or not you have taken advance of those years is a very different matter.

Not all experiences weigh equally (in my not too humble opinion).

I like this a lot.

Three things I would like to add:

1)Experience is a definition debate and what a person is looking for. Who has more experience a person who has a barely any experience in 24/7 relationships but has attended every munch, play party and workshop the last twenty years or a person who has had one slave for ten years but only used some rope and bare hands. Depends on what you are looking for which of these two had experience over the other.

2)Has the person who has experience through age learned anything from it or do they repeat the same mistakes time and time again. Experience does not equal intelligence and especially does not equal wisdom.

3)Experience does not equal compatibility. For me personally being hung up on experience when looking for a long term relationship is quite foolish. There are so many factors to compatibility that making experience an important one is short sighted as so many other things that make us compatible cannot change but experience can.

Can someone younger have or should have more experience is pretty irrelevant. My experience is the personality, desires and needs quickly pass the have you done this before factor. Hopefully the experiences we all have let us understand our selves and our needs better and able us to communicate this to the other person.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 40

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