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RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 8:24:16 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Well, when I was pre-schoolage (4) I used to turn my mom's wrought iron boudour chair over on its side and hook my legs over the scrollwork at the corners....seemed like fun at the time. When I started dating, much later, I was always interested in bondage, although I didn't know that's what it was called. I figured I must be really perverted...and back then, I thought perverted was a bad thing.

It was the internet that gave me my "Eureka, I have found it!" feeling, and I started exploring.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 21

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 8:26:32 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Thinking back, I always fantasized about being controlled and bound long before I even knew much about sex. Definite rape fantasies at a young age. It wasn't until I was about 27 that I actually had any real experience with any kind of domination. I used to go to a nude beach at the Jersey shore every Monday over the summer of 95. After a few weeks, a man would come and sit fairly close to me. He started talking to me and eventually it got so that he would jerk off while we talked. Then he requested that I put my feet up in the air so that he could see them while we talked. He obviously had a foot fetish. I would do as he asked. I would also make sure that I would have pedicures each week for him since I knew he enjoyed that. He never touched me the entire summer and I only knew his first name. That opened my eyes to how much I liked having someone tell me what to do. It wasn't until I actually started exploring the internet that I discovered sites like this and then everything clicked into place as I had a name for everything that I felt. Sorry for the long ramble.

I've heard about that beach in Sandy Hook....

But I've never been there. There's one in Cape May, but the locals have pretty much raided it and it's more of a "lewd" gay pick-up spot now. But I hear there are some who still drop trou there. I may have to check it out one of these days.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 22

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 9:52:07 AM

Mustardseed

Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

As a kid, engaging in tickle fights, casual slaps on the ass and role play with my girlfriends.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 23

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 12:01:22 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Beach G...Gunnison. It was a wild time there ten years ago. Don't know about today.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 24

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 12:59:09 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

I read the other "Sleeping Beauty" at the age of 23, in 1988. but, naive little dumpling that I was, it didn't even occur to me that D/s or bdsm was a "lifestyle", or at least one that wasn't solely for the gay/leather crowd...fast forward, 19 years, and after being derailed on the vanilla train, I finally have a clue. I am slightly bummed I did miss out on all the fun for so long, but definitely making up for lost time!

life is good...

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to soulKnife)

Post #: 25

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 2:29:20 PM

sabis

Posts: 136
Joined: 6/29/2005
From: Midwest, USA
Status: offline

I snuck a book written by John Norman out of the public library at the age of 10 or so, and thought it was the neatest, sexiest thing since sliced bread. I and my best friend - an extremely butch version of Dolly Parton - had a lovely time playing dress up: I, in her mom's basket of silk scarves, and she, in her dad's hunting outfit complete with knife and leather vest. She was a Hunter of Gor, and I was simply a helpless lil slave girl. It was great, until she dropped me on my head whilst carrying me about the room. :)

Fast forward about 20 years later to 1999... after several unfulfilling relationships, some long term, some not so long term, one intensely wanna be... I meet my Owner. With a single conversation on the phone, he pretty much owned me. The time since then has been an exploration of just what that really means to us.

In His service,

~sabis,
Owned by Cumulus

(in reply to lighthearted)

Post #: 26

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 4:35:40 PM

sassykat

Posts: 33
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

A few years ago one of the guys I was dating asked me if I knew what D/s was, I couldn't remember at first but the next day I emailed him back asking if it was Domination & submission, which it was & we took it from there. After conversations with him & reading Screw the Roses I realized that I had been submissive since I was a little girl having my male dolls tie up the female ones & generally run their imaginary lives. It felt good finally figuring out that part of my personality, I just wish it hadn't taken 42 years.

_____________________________

Life may not be the party we hoped for; but while we're here we might as well dance...

and to put things in another perspective:

Never meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

(in reply to sabis)

Post #: 27

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 9:44:02 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Cyber AOL chatrooms for two weeks before my first scene with a dumbass.

Well, I was kind of nervous and all.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 28

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 9:55:26 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

Second guy I ever slept with, at age 18 (in 1977), handcuffed me during sex. I freaked out, but something inside kicked into overdrive and I've sought kinky, dominant partners ever since.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 29

RE: how did you get started? - 3/3/2007 11:01:26 PM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

I believe it was always there. When I was little I'd greet my dad when he'd get home from work and remove his tie for him and while he'd go change into loungewear I'd fix his drink for him and then curl up on his lap while he relaxed in front of the tv. And in the mornings he'd let me apply his shaving cream. And of course out playing with other kids I'd always volunteer to be "the Indian" or "the robber" so I could get captured. hehe Just simple stuff like that, which in retrospect seems more meaningful.

< Message edited by mythi -- 3/3/2007 11:02:10 PM >

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 30

RE: how did you get started? - 3/4/2007 4:05:50 PM

SilkLaceNPearls

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

I met a man online and began communicating with him on a regular basis. After sometime we met in person, just to put a face with a name, and to take our friendship to another level. In the course of the evening, we watched a movie together. At one point in the movie I reached out and touched his arm. Later on, out of the blue, he asked me how long I had been a submissive and I thought he had lost his mind until he showed me online what he was talking about and then the proverbial lightbulb went off. I suddenly knew why all my past relationships have failed and left me feeling so empty. He never became my Master/Dom, just a very good friend. He chose not to take it to that level as the military was relocating him in a few short weeks and said I was an "unpolished jewel to be savored and enjoyed by the man who was truly meant to be my Master." Sadly in hindsight, I know now it should have been him but circumstances didn't allow it. And so now, two years later, I still search for the right Master for me to learn and grow with while wistfully wondering what might have happened if the military had not intervened. Oh, and when I asked him what make him think I was a submissive, he said he knew by the way I touched his arm. How interesting I still find that to be.

Edited to add:

I had no idea he was a Dominant until that night. He was just a man who I enjoyed chatting with online.

"This is not a lifestyle but my life as it was meant to be."

< Message edited by SilkLaceNPearls -- 3/4/2007 4:07:57 PM >

(in reply to mythi)

Post #: 31

RE: how did you get started? - 3/4/2007 5:44:18 PM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

Hello. =)

Let's see.... I remember being aroused by rape scenes in movies when I was around 10 or 11. And I used to play at being "French Maid" at 16 with my very first boyfriend.

That's all I can remember, haha!All of my bsdm experiences in my early 20s were with vanilla boyfriends who were the bohemian artsy type. Viva La Vie Boheme. ;)

Cheers,
Stella

(in reply to SilkLaceNPearls)

Post #: 32

RE: how did you get started? - 3/4/2007 7:14:32 PM

paulthesub

Posts: 59
Joined: 2/9/2007
From: Calgary
Status: offline

Like all my other bad habits, I get my start in the boy scouts.

I can even pinpoint the exact moment, in grade 6 we went out on a camping trp and we played cowboys and indians. I *ALWAYS* wanted to be one of the indians so I could get tied up.

_____________________________

Don't drink from the mainstream

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

Post #: 33

RE: how did you get started? - 3/4/2007 7:15:21 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

an virtual Dom ,that scared me so much ,I would never commit to a meeting, however it opened my eyes enough to see I definatly do have some interest ....

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 34

RE: how did you get started? - 3/5/2007 2:30:07 PM

Slavebitch11

Posts: 68
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

I had masochistic tendencies from boarding school. Spent many years in the vanilla wilderness before becoming re aquainted with them 3 years ago......

_____________________________

'Dont stop honking.......I'm just re loading'

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 35

RE: how did you get started? - 3/5/2007 3:09:26 PM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

I was invited to a "fetish club" by a good friend. hell I even started to back step a few paces before she grabbed my arm and drug me in. I knew what BDSM was, or at least i thought i did. I ended up hanging out at the bar talking about pretty much anything that did not deal with what was going on in the back rooms. my Friend then lured me into the back (i was drunk and horny enough to do damn near anything to get in her pants) and when I was told to get on the cross, I thought I would get hit a few times, be let go, and get laid. 30 minutes later I am being let off the cross, with a hunger that I still have not filled, because every time i come close, i get even more hungry, I did not get laid that night, but what i took away that night was better than one night of sex.

(in reply to Slavebitch11)

Post #: 36

RE: how did you get started? - 3/5/2007 3:44:43 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

When people ask me how I found out about BDSM I say, "Too much unsupervised time on the internet as a child." When I was around 13, I met a whole bunch of internet buddies who were my age and also into BDSM. We even had a yahoo chatroom. I'm still in contact with some of them. I've met some of them RL. One of them is a fetish model. It's weird to see the kids you talked to when you were 13 in kinky porn. Some of them I see post on other kink-oriented websites. It's a small world after all... It sucked because I was very young, but still interested in learning. No one who had experience or the resources to teach would talk to 'jailbait' When I finally came of age, I met a few people who I played with privately. I just recently attended my first 'lifestyle event.' Whoo. So that's a gap of about seven years between learning about BDSM and going to a public event. I'm still too young to go to A LOT of them which is sad. I also grew up in a intensely religious environment that tended to make me want to do the exact thing I was commanded not to do. I had never watched porn or had any desire to until I had to sit through an entire month of 45 minute classes devoted to teaching the evils of porn. (I kid you not.) I was bound to turn out as a bit of a freak. Ha.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 37

RE: how did you get started? - 3/5/2007 5:48:39 PM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

I've always found it very easy and very natural to take control in the bedroom. I had several g/fs who enjoyed being spanked or having their hands held down during sex.

My first "real" bdsm experience was with a g/f who kept making comments about needing a four poster bed and stuff like that until I finally got the hints. I used my rock climbing gear to tie her up one evening. Wow, what an experience that was! She later told me that just hearing the sounds of the carabiners made her heart feel like it was going to beat out of her chest. It was an incredibly exciting experience, and I've never looked back.

Tristan

(in reply to junecleaver)

Post #: 38

RE: how did you get started? - 3/6/2007 5:34:21 AM

soulKnife

Posts: 36
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sabis

I snuck a book written by John Norman out of the public library at the age of 10 or so, and thought it was the neatest, sexiest thing since sliced bread. I and my best friend - an extremely butch version of Dolly Parton - had a lovely time playing dress up: I, in her mom's basket of silk scarves, and she, in her dad's hunting outfit complete with knife and leather vest. She was a Hunter of Gor, and I was simply a helpless lil slave girl. It was great, until she dropped me on my head whilst carrying me about the room. :)

Fast forward about 20 years later to 1999... after several unfulfilling relationships, some long term, some not so long term, one intensely wanna be... I meet my Owner. With a single conversation on the phone, he pretty much owned me. The time since then has been an exploration of just what that really means to us.

In His service,

~sabis,
Owned by Cumulus

butch version of dolly parton? that's an odd way to describe someone :)

(in reply to sabis)

Post #: 39

RE: how did you get started? - 3/6/2007 5:55:57 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

About 4 year ago, I stumbled via luck, onto the website DungeonNet on the internet. I was perusing the various topic headings there, and went into the "Personals" section, just to read the ads out of curiosity (honest!).

I was really intrigued by all of the other topics I was reading about on the site, too. The first night I found it, I was up all night reading, I was so fascinated, just reading all of it - and was also at the same time realizing it was all touching the deepest part of myself, and that I'd had these "submissive feelings" for a long, long time.

I realized then that I wanted to explore this further for myself, and have a D/s relationship w/bdsm activity involved (and I have had one). I thought I was probably mostly submissive, but wasn't altogether sure (I am, but I also think I am a Switch, and am still exploring).

I found an ad for a Dominant man on that site back then, and I e-mailed him on impulse. He became a "Mentor" of sorts for me, and he answered a lot of my questions, and gave me reading assignments, etc. We never met in person. I forget how exactly I heard of CM, but someone from that site mentioned it, and here I am.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 3/6/2007 6:02:11 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to soulKnife)

Post #: 40

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