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Bisexuality and Monogamy - 5/19/2004 4:10:46 PM

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I heard a radio talk show host opine that he would never marry a bisexual woman because bisexuals cannot be faithful. There would always be that attraction to the same sex.
I feel that heteros are attracted to the opposite sex and though married, won't necessarily act on it. But because the attraction would be for the same sex, would that make a difference?
I think that it would be more of a problem if the male was bi.
Any opinions on this? Lol. Is the Pope Catholic?

RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 5/19/2004 4:42:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I heard a radio talk show host opine that he would never marry a bisexual woman because bisexuals cannot be faithful. There would always be that attraction to the same sex.
I feel that heteros are attracted to the opposite sex and though married, won't necessarily act on it. But because the attraction would be for the same sex, would that make a difference?
I think that it would be more of a problem if the male was bi.
Any opinions on this? Lol. Is the Pope Catholic?

If you have no morals, fear of god or whatever you want to call it. Why would a hetero couple have more of what they already don't have enough of?

I am not bi-sexual. Although if I were and hiding it. I think I would'nt act on my urges even more than if I was already out.

Just depends on the circumstances I guess. Although I do have morals. I would not cheat. If I ever got that mad, I'd do what I wanted and videotape it to watch in the evening with him.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 5/19/2004 6:45:51 PM

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i've had fidelity issues my whole life but is it because i'm bisexual? i don't think so. i think of my bisexual side as my good side. every man i have ever been involved with has believed that my bisexuality is somehow a gift for him. for my Dom, my first ever, i can begin to see it that way, but for everyone who came before Him, it was like, WTF, is there something so lacking in me you need someone else?

i think the radio announcer has more to fear from someone into BDSM. we're the ones who can't seem to get enough.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 5/19/2004 8:20:49 PM

rain

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Interesting topic, my kinky friends tend to refer to bi/poly/switches as Mega sluts, whether they are male or female. (and that is NOT meant as an insult, but a compliment!)

BTW, the bi/switches are just called Mini-sluts!

~rain~

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 5/19/2004 8:35:58 PM

perverseangelic

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in my opinion, saying someone CANNOT be monogamous because they are bisexual is as silly as saying one cannot be because one is homosexual or heterosexual.

stating the obvious? yup.

heterosexual people will ALWAYS be attracted to the opposite sex.
homosexuals will ALWAYS be attracted to the same sex.

will -they- act on it? well, it depends on the person.

bisexuals are attracted to people of both sexes. whether or not they act on that interest is solely dependant on the person.

i'm bisexual. before my current relationship i prefered serial monogamy. as it is, i'm in a poly relationship with 3 people, but not looking outside of that realtionship, because that's what we've agreed on. i am not monogamous now, but i'm am faithful to my parnters, because i said i would be.

i hate the idea that bisexuals cannot be monogamous. that stereotype is among the reasons i call myself pansexual rather than bisexual in most situations.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 5/19/2004 9:55:51 PM

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Cheating is cheating, no matter who does it. If the DJ married a bisexual, her fidelity will not be measured soley on the basis of her sexuality, nor will his. Actually, the DJ could use being married to a bisexual female to his advantage rather than succomb to preconceived fears or phobias.

Are Radio DJ's any better at predicting the future than the Great Kreskin? Nope... and his predictions of the future are based on the sum total of his fears and phobias, and not based on anything known... simply assumed events based on nonfact.

Anyone's fidelity can be tested or tesmpted, but the real test is what is within the person, not what hardware they have or which directions they swing. If Mr DJ was thinking he could not handle his bisexual wifey munching carpet, chances are he was feeling intimidated that a second female playmate may receive more enjoyment from the wifey as opposed to him... the stud?

Misplaced fears and phobias... sounds like the straw that broke the DJ's backbone.

Inyouagain

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/11/2004 10:25:21 AM

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I got involved on a discussion on roughly the same lines as this on Deviantart.com a few weeks back. One of those concerned was basically saying that they regard non-heterosexuals as being more likely to cheat on their partners and have unhappy relationships.

Although that view may have been shaped by his own experiences I find it to be rather skewed. I've a fair few gay/bisexual friends and apart from the usual troubles of finding a partner in areas where many people tend to be violently anti-homosexual they're very dedicated and happy couples.

Anyway, I'm ranting...So I'll finish off with this.

Its not whether someones hetero, homo, or bi that dictates how likely they are to be faithful or not, its their own attitudes, morals and so on. After all I'm bi and can honestly say I've never cheated on a partner.

Ciao everyone

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/11/2004 12:32:57 PM

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People are what they are, to try and say that a certain mind set leads to a greater risk of being unfaithful is ridiculous. I have no desire for a one on one relationship at this point in my life, and I am straight. But my enjoyment of bi-males is that in my personal experience they tend to be the most affectionate and versital. And very devoted, their word is just as good as any straight male. Wicked laugh, and take that last statement anyway you wish. Sundew

~~~enjoy the ride, the landing could be rough~~~~~

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/12/2004 1:02:24 AM

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I agree with angelic.

Attraction does not automatically equates acting on it.

Some people can't be attracted without acting on it, but that doesn't stick to only hets, bis, poly, or anything really.

My sexual preferences have NOTHING to do with if I act out any lustful urges I may have towards a person.

I certainly wouldn't feel that the majority of humans HAVE to act on any attraction they might have towards someone either.

JMO.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/12/2004 4:52:46 AM

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The notion that bisexuals cannot be trusted is bigotry, gaybashing lite.

I have seen estimates run as high as 80% (I tend to think 70%) of all married "monogamous" people cheat at some time. 60% don't even stay married and go get someone else. That is hardly a resounding success for the monogamous model.

Honesty is the important thing here I think. It's the lying that breaks all those people up, not the sex per se. I think a person can be in love, be dedicated to family, have other adult interests unrelated to their family values, and have other partners accordingly, and keep all that together very clearly, very cleanly, and honesty is the fabric that holds it together.

Bisexuals can do that and often do do that.

So, if I had to say what group is most likely to cheat and be dishonest about it, I'd say those lining up to conform to a model relationship that is not really right for them are more likley to cheat over that later on than people who enter into a relationship with the honest statement "hey baby, I'm bi".

To borrow and modify a good phrase I saw here:

Your relationship mileage may vary in proportion to your honesty.

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/12/2004 6:47:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I heard a radio talk show host opine that he would never marry a bisexual woman because bisexuals cannot be faithful. There would always be that attraction to the same sex.

Riiiiight, and all homosexuals are pedophiles. :::eye roll::: How many other inaccurate stereotyping can we come up with around sexual orientation??? Probably a zillion.

It's interesting that he mentions that bisexual women can't be faithful because they would always be attracted to women. I don't suppose he realized that HE is attracted to women, too. Using his logic, he couldn't be faithful either (since he and a bi sexual woman are attracted to the same gender). I suspect that the reason he believes a woman who is attracted to women couldn't be faithful is because he is a man, who is attracted to women, who can't be faithful.

Sexual orientation and preference have NOTHING to do with integrity. It's apples and oranges. If that isn't abundantly evident (as would seem to be proven by the posts here) then I'd bet the person who can't see it is blinded by their own baggage.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/13/2004 7:54:26 PM

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Hello all,

I think the tendency to cheat is in the personality. It does not matter if you are hetro, bi, gay or anything else, if it's in you, your personality, then you will cheat. Just my opinion.

Be well.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/16/2004 1:02:52 PM

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Oh, I though this was for Bisexuality and Mormons. Sorry:)

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/16/2004 3:13:32 PM

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Lol.

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Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/20/2004 2:07:24 PM

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From what Ive noticed is that bisexual and homosexual/lesbian couples are more level headed than most narrow minded hetro couples and understand that sex doesnt equate to love. Ive known alot of married men who love their wives and would never leave them, that have girlfriends..or multiple "relations". Sexualiity is nature. Its very hard to go against nature. Most women dont feel the kind of urges that men do, so they could never understand it. When you go in for an AIDS test or to give blood the nurses will ask you if you have had sex with a homosexual partner...so there is some truth to that. Men are hooking up with each other alot more than most women know. Altho I dont think it matters if someone is bisexual I think gender has alot to do with it. Monogamy is nonsense anyway, its going against nature and limiting people from exploring different things, people and feelings.

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/20/2004 5:50:55 PM

perverseangelic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BecauseIsaidso
Monogamy is nonsense anyway, its going against nature and limiting people from exploring different things, people and feelings.

i disagree. i think that is true for some people, perhaps most people, but not all people. i could argue the evolutionary reasons for monogamy, but i have to run to work. aside from that, i personally prefer monogamy, as i need to be "loved best" by someone. i've tried polyamoury, and it just doesn't feel write. my parnter and i have come to the conclusion that we can try new experiences and feelings with each other.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/20/2004 7:01:19 PM

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I don't believe an individual's sexual preference (s) would bear at all on whether or not they would be sexually faithful in a monogamous relationship, if it were their choice to be in that relationship with the understanding from the onset that it was monogamous. Further, I don't believe that an individual's sexual preference (s) would make them more or less inclined to be unfaithful in a relationship, monogamous, or otherwise. I believe it would have more to do with an individual's moral character, and/or their personal level of commitment to the relationship. Or their personal capacity/potential for commitment, for that matter. Whatever that may or may not be. There are so many other things to be considered that sexual preference wouldn't actually come into consideration at all.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/21/2004 12:12:35 AM

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quote:

Monogamy is nonsense anyway, its going against nature and limiting people from exploring different things, people and feelings.

Using a toilet goes against nature too. Monagamy makes us males overcome our animal urges for the better of society.

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/21/2004 7:16:26 AM

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quote:

Monogamy is nonsense anyway, its going against nature and limiting people from exploring different things, people and feelings.

So do animals that mate for life cheat?

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RE: Bisexuality and Monogamy - 6/21/2004 7:18:06 AM

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quote:

So do animals that mate for life cheat?

That raises another question--are there bisexual or gay animals within a species?

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