RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive....

RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (Full Version)

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hisannabelle -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 9:35:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: So how can the real deals separate themselves from the fakes? Less whining may help the cause. amen, sisterfriend.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 10:05:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterShaver Is there any true submissives and slaves to be found in this lifestyle? quote: shudders there's that word again - true ...perhaps the BDSM community should host a pageant to determine what makes a true slave/submissive so everyone would have one basic standard to follow when seeking a submissive/slave. yes there are real (like that word better) slaves/submissives to be found however you have to seek them out and vice versa they will seek you out. we don't magically appear ready and willing to submit out of the nowhere. it takes time and patience unless you want take the first one that comes along. quote: What are you...as a slave or submissive truely looking for, and not what you put on your profiles? when i had a profile on another adult site, i listed all top 3 dislikes (watersports, game players/time wasters, and the expectation of sex on the first date) before mentioning anything about me. i was looking for a man who would respect and treat me like the strong, intelligent and independent woman that i am. i stated i was more interested in conversation/dating and didn't care for those who was solely interested in "meet and fuck" dates. i had very high standards in place for all potential men who messaged me - nearly all failed to reach them ...a couple did however only one passed the test - Daddy. i wasn't in all honestly looking for a Dom (after leaving my former) however Daddy approached me as a vanilla gentleman (hint the word gentleman) treating me like a lady before moving into our current relationship where it stands now. quote: I think this is a common question that should be asked....How can someone like me...who is very real and grounded find a real slave or a real submissive in a sea of wanna-bees? well it took Daddy about 2 yrs finding me because He turned many away asking to be His submissive (He has high standards for finding the "perfect" submissive for Him and can tell if a woman is weak or not). they weren't what he was searching for.and all i can say is you have to be patient and keep searching. when you find her, you'll know she's the one you've been searching for. quote: So how can the real deals separate themselves from the fakes? imo - i consider my 2 formers as fakes because they were vanillas with a kinky taste for unlimited sex behind their wives back. they were only interested in have their itches scratched until the next meeting. Daddy to me is the real deal. He took interest in what i like and dislike before talking about goals and future plans for me. He wants me to succeed in life and is there molding/shaping me along the way. good luck with your search

slaveluci -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 10:45:25 AM)
LeatherLord2003, O/our story is very much like what you wrote. When Master and i first made contact online (here on CM actually), W/we both had the day off from work. W/we chatted for hours and then again the next day. He soon called and that was amazing and soon turned into speaking for hours each evening and night. Within 6 weeks, W/we spent a solid week together (i went to Him). As you stated, O/our hearts "connected" and it definitely was NOT all about sex and kink, though that was discussed at times as well [:)] . And, as you also mentioned, by the time that W/we actually met, it was so intense and amazing. The connection had already been made and cemented. And, to address the OP, Master separated Himself from the fakes i had previously spoken with in many ways. Chief among them would be His honesty, His sincerity, His desire to discuss many things other than sex or BDSM, and just basically the fact that He respected me by not starting to make demands of me from moment one, assuming that i "owed" Him anything right from the start.........slave luci

petstorm -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 10:52:32 AM)
There are fakes out there... and by fake, i don't mean someone who doesn't conform to my ideals or doesn't match what i feel it should be. By fake i mean someone who sits behind a computer a spouts out quotes, links and information without understanding what they mean, and using them to simply get a quick fix. How many creeps (men and women) are online and using those they encounter for their own perverted self interests. Using people without their consent is wrong, no matter what you choose to call it. And those people ARE fakes. They take the excitement or thrill from what they can, then leave the used person with nothing to show for the real effort they put forth. And being online, there are many people who sit behind their keyboards and pretend to be something else just to get what they want. Sex can be gained in many forms... and quite simply, right here on collarme it comes in text format. Kind of sad, in my opinion. But there are those out there who are very true, and honest... Give it time, and what will be, will be... on it's own, in it's own time.

myobedience -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 10:59:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterShaver Is there any true submissives and slaves to be found in this lifestyle? What are you...as a slave or submissive truely looking for, and not what you put on your profiles? I think this is a common question that should be asked....How can someone like me...who is very real and grounded find a real slave or a real submissive in a sea of wanna-bees? In all fairness to the submissives and slaves out there....I think the reverse is true...a real slave or submissive can also get lost in a sea of Dominant wanna-bees....So how can the real deals separate themselves from the fakes? I truly DO understand your frustration. I can only tell you of my experience... http://www.collarchat.com/m_863532/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#864482 If you wish to know more, am happy to expound some, just ask and I will contact you from the other side. (You cannot contact me but I can you.)

naiverose -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 11:30:52 AM)
As being one who wishes to live for servitude, i still have my opinions. And until i am owned, i train myself which is very hard to uphold the Dominant side of myself and not gain opinions. It is very hard to find a Master, who genuinely fits what it is i need, so most Who are immediately off track within the first few days, i tend to just stop talking to, (i like to believe i warn Them first) because we're all adoption agencies of ourselves. we all want to serve a Man whom will degrade or punish us in just the right way and because of Their attitude (and who They are) we are more willing to submit to Them, rather then some Who may immediately dump us into overwhelming punishments (are way to harsh instead of working us up to being able to handle certain things... because to much at one time can get us sick and i myself would like to handle some punishments which would be very excrutiating to the vanilla folk but i'm not able to handle it just yet) or some are just to leniant to begin with, or some who are just into 'scenes' and not the lifestyle on a more permanent level. Yes i myself cannot commit for life to my Master, because of certain aspects in my life, however i've got time. It depends really, because W/we all have our different preferences. Each person on this earth has different views, and the community is pretty big, so don't give up hope. ^.^

MasterShaver -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 12:22:45 PM)
The one thing I would mention to you is that you are absolutly correct in discussing every aspect of your lives to get more familiar with each other both inside and outside of a bdsm relationship. From some experiences I have had, you want to know how consistant she is in the information she has provided to you in your 4 months of discussions. If you have exchanged pictures in the past, make sure she has not sent you someone elses picture saying it was her all along...I had an experience with this...and this is a lack of honesty you can determine right off the bat. Also take the time to discus snot only what you both like and hate....but talk about friends and family too... you can get some clues from discussions about her home life and how she was raised.... To make along story short...use the time as if it were a vanilla date...use the proper common sense and get to know each other very intimately....

SimplyMichael -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 1:21:01 PM)
Perhaps what you are experiencing is the phenomonom of "tiny fish from miniature pond visits big pond" In other words, your 20 years of experience in the provinces qualifies you as an inexperience newbie in a real town.

TribeTziyon -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 1:31:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll sets up vending table I have beer, coke, pepsi, and hot dogs... get your hot dogs here. Popcorn please?

FukinTroll -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 1:36:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: innatedesire quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll sets up vending table I have beer, coke, pepsi, and hot dogs... get your hot dogs here. Any coffee? And by chance you would not happen to have a fire extinguisher handy would you? Yup, I got coffee. No fire extinguisher. However, there are two fire exits located in the rear of the building, one on each side, and of course the large exit doors in the front. Kindling (whew! I almost said faggots) and firewood delivery can be dropped off on any location on this thread.

innatedesire -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/4/2007 10:20:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll quote: ORIGINAL: innatedesire quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll sets up vending table I have beer, coke, pepsi, and hot dogs... get your hot dogs here. Any coffee? And by chance you would not happen to have a fire extinguisher handy would you? Yup, I got coffee. No fire extinguisher. However, there are two fire exits located in the rear of the building, one on each side, and of course the large exit doors in the front. Kindling (whew! I almost said faggots) and firewood delivery can be dropped off on any location on this thread. You are the best, always well prepared and very mindful of safety as well, what a wonderful Troll you are, you make one want to venture in just to see you!!

ellecyd -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/5/2007 5:33:19 PM)
Leatherlord... it is THAT, that I truely desire. Well written.. and it give me hope that I can find what I need. Thank You!

slavemaia -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/5/2007 7:51:57 PM)
All good things take time. For every one sincere Dom or sub there are probably 10 "players" - not that a player is a bad thing - just not what you're seeking. i felt quite discouraged for awhile before meeting Chairman. i got to feeling like that old Peggy Lee song "Is that all there is?". If you want sincere, be sincere. If you want depth, be deep. That's my philosophy - be what you seek and what you want will be attracted to itself. Make sense? i'm very romantic and sensitive. i wanted a Dominant who was that way as well. i put an ad on a vanilla site and expressed myself romantically and sensitively and then simply stated on the bottom that i was a submissive seeking a Dom. It worked for me. Good luck in your journey.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/5/2007 7:55:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterShaver I have been a Master for a long time now. I have had several long term relationships with slaves over years. These relationships were formed in a small town community. Since relocating to a larger metropolitan area,I have noticed that the so-called slaves and submissives out there seem to be mostly players or wanna-bees. They are only interested in cyber fantasy play, or are just messing around. I believe that a M/s relationship does not happen over night, but needs a certain amountt of time to develop trust and respect on both sides, in other words based on many vanilla relationship qualities....however in the conversations with so-called subs and slaves they don't want to form these bonds....and after a few days of communication break off and move on to another Dominant to p;lay with. Is there any true submissives and slaves to be found in this lifestyle? What are you...as a slave or submissive truely looking for, and not what you put on your profiles? I think this is a common question that should be asked....How can someone like me...who is very real and grounded find a real slave or a real submissive in a sea of wanna-bees? In all fairness to the submissives and slaves out there....I think the reverse is true...a real slave or submissive can also get lost in a sea of Dominant wanna-bees....So how can the real deals separate themselves from the fakes? Well you say you are the real deal,and I expect many of these "wannabes" also felt as if they were the real deal...difference is they were not "your" real deal.....one word....PATIENCE......Tempting....~being a bit snarky here but....another order for a McSub is up and waiting~.......

Mustardseed -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/5/2007 8:25:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterShaver Is there any true submissives and slaves to be found in this lifestyle? Almost certainly, and I think that they have entirely too much invested in being safe and whole for their current or eventual Masters or Mistresses to risk flinging themselves at any random new person who wanders into town. As often stated in slavecraft, "Protect the property." quote: How can someone like me...who is very real and grounded find a real slave or a real submissive in a sea of wanna-bees? So how can the real deals separate themselves from the fakes? "I would never want to join a club that would have someone like me as a member." - Woody Allen, possibly quoting someone else Unless you keep contacting the exact same person over and over, the only real constant in any of your interactions with these "wannabees" is you. If the big city in which you currently reside has an active kink or sex positive community, maybe instead of asking who will serve you ... you should consider serving that community. Certainly someone with 20 years of experience could be useful for lectures, workshops, boards, planning events and any other activities that will get them out there interacting with other people who are active in said community. I'm not sure, but I don't think that too many online-only players help to plan leather contests and marches. Just a guess. Go to where the serious people are. If you yourself are really serious about the sort of lifestyle you want, you'll likely find the sorts of people you claim to be missing.

DefiantFlower -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/5/2007 8:35:16 PM)
Troll sweetie, you wouldn't happen to have any Wild Turkey, would you? And a box of Goobers! Method of payment can be arranged...

AquaticSub -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/5/2007 9:19:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterShaver I have been a Master for a long time now. I have had several long term relationships with slaves over years. These relationships were formed in a small town community. Since relocating to a larger metropolitan area,I have noticed that the so-called slaves and submissives out there seem to be mostly players or wanna-bees. They are only interested in cyber fantasy play, or are just messing around. I believe that a M/s relationship does not happen over night, but needs a certain amountt of time to develop trust and respect on both sides, in other words based on many vanilla relationship qualities....however in the conversations with so-called subs and slaves they don't want to form these bonds....and after a few days of communication break off and move on to another Dominant to p;lay with. Is there any true submissives and slaves to be found in this lifestyle? What are you...as a slave or submissive truely looking for, and not what you put on your profiles? I think this is a common question that should be asked....How can someone like me...who is very real and grounded find a real slave or a real submissive in a sea of wanna-bees? In all fairness to the submissives and slaves out there....I think the reverse is true...a real slave or submissive can also get lost in a sea of Dominant wanna-bees....So how can the real deals separate themselves from the fakes? It is my belief that anyone who calls a group of people "so-called subs" or "so-called doms" is just stung from rejection. There are many quite real slaves and submissives. However, simply because they turn you down or practice a different brand of submission does not make them fake. As for those who seek exclusively cyber - they are merely horny people who don't desire a real relationship. Happens in the vanilla lifestyle, happens here. No need for name calling other then assigning the title "Horny Net Geek" and moving on. In response to those who simply want to mess around, I fail to see how that makes them less submissive. In my early days I did quite a bit of messing around, sowing my wild oats if you will and now I am rather content to settle down. Who knows, things may change. However, this also happens in the vanilla lifestyle. A lack of commitment does not a fake make. Now, if you want to attract a "real" sub/slave, I would suggest losing the judgemental attitude. When I was looking, I wasn't interested in masters/dominants who tossed around the terms "fake" and "wanna be" so easily. To me, anyone who proclaims loudly about how "real" they are just says how "real" they want to be and probably how "real" they aren't. If I were to find myself single again, I would never consider saying how "real" I am in my profile, and nor would I consider the collar of a dominant who did.

DefiantFlower -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/5/2007 9:33:20 PM)
For the OP...the reals will eventually find each other. You can't rush it, expecting happily ever after. When you first get into this lifestyle (me not too long ago), or when you go through a major change in seeming possibilities (as is the case here), your impulse is to find the ultimate sub/slave and have amazing connections/chemistry/compatibility and know each other so well you wonder if destiny had anything to do with your meeting. I'm guessing this is what you mean by real. I would not presume to speak for all submissives, and thereby starting a long ass thread trying to prove me wrong. But I do know that all you can do is be patient and keep your mind and eyes open and your [insert weapon/toy of choice here] ready. The only way I know to distinguish between the real and fake is to go with your gut, and usually by comparing both of your views of the lifestyle, you can tell if they take it seriously. But this is just my opinion, y'all, don't bark at me.

eyesopened -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/6/2007 2:48:23 AM)
As others have mentioned, people with common goals will tend to find each other given enough time and a touch of flexibility. i have found some Dominants to want perfection immediately, with an entire laundry list of qualifications that very few submissives can meet. Since there is no such thing as one-size-fits-all it often is beneficial to see potential rather than specifics. Also, since You have owned slaves in the past, You already know there are "real" ones out there. Going to a message board and whining and calling "fake" everyone who does not share Your relationship goals is probably not a good way to attract what You seek, in my opinion.

dawntreader -> RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive.... (3/6/2007 3:13:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll sets up vending table I have beer, coke, pepsi, and hot dogs... get your hot dogs here. This is why i am here - for the weiners! lol

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