quote:

So how can the real deals separate themselves from the fakes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShaver

I have had several long term relationships with slaves over years.

How did you meet your past slaves?

They are only interested in cyber fantasy play, or are just messing around.

Are you focusing on the internet to find a slave?

I believe that a M/s relationship does not happen over night, but needs a certain amountt of time to develop trust and respect on both  sides, in other words based on many vanilla relationship qualities....however in the conversations with so-called subs and slaves they don't want to form these bonds....

I would not assume a person is a 'so-called' sub or slave simply because they do not have the same goals as you. If you have found a pattern of subs and slaves who do not share your interests and break off communication after a short time it may be helpful to look at your own behaviours - repeated unfulfilling patterns can be a sign that it is time to look inwards. Also, are you giving them unrealistic and uncomfortable timeframes to meet or progress?

How can someone like me...who is very real and grounded find a real slave or a real submissive in a sea of wanna-bees?

Continue posting your dismay in here. If nothing else it will soon get rid of the vanilla cone next to your name so that we know that you are real.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherLord2003

I am not a slave or a submissive, but it is mho that if one is a Master, self proclaimed or otherwise, that he should have the ability to nurture submission from those he desires a relationship with and that want to have a relationship with him. It is not about beating your chest and proclaiming to the world your greatness, instead it is about fueling desire, touching their mind, caressing their heart. It is about falling in love, yes I said love. I have never quite understood why people think that everyone they talk to should be a perfect match instantly. I have talked to lots of people and told many of them no thank you. It wasn't because they were not what they claimed to be, it was because our hearts didn't connect. Say what you will, but without love, it is a job. I place the highest expectations on myself, not my submissive, and yes I have one, and yes she wears my collar... proudly I might add. when we started talking, we talked for 11 straight hours on the phone... that was the begining of a week of talking for more than 6o hours on the phone, so by the time we met, we had a good idea of the other persons thoughts, ideals, and hearts. We didnt talk about play, kinks, or perversions, we talked to each others heart... when we met, you could have taken the chemistry and bottled it, it was so intense.

Bottom line is, maybe the place you should look is in the mirror, see what it is that you convey to others. It's just my opinion, and opinions are like a-holes, everyone has them, most of them stink.

Excellently written, IMO.  I agree whole-heartedly about "nurturing submission" as this is how our relationship has evolved as well.  I feel Loki puts a great deal of time and energy into doing just that, and it's a remarkable ride!



Brat

quote:

I have been a Master for a long time now. I have had several long term relationships with slaves over years. These relationships were formed in a small town community. Since relocating to a larger metropolitan area,I have noticed that the so-called slaves and submissives out there seem to be mostly players or wanna-bees. They are only interested in cyber fantasy play, or are just messing around.

quote:

I believe that a M/s relationship does not happen over night, but needs a certain amountt of time to develop trust and respect on both  sides, in other words based on many vanilla relationship qualities....however in the conversations with so-called subs and slaves they don't want to form these bonds....and after a few days of communication break off and move on to another Dominant to p;lay with.

quote:

Is there any true submissives and slaves to be found in this lifestyle? What are you...as a slave or submissive truely looking for, and not what you put on your profiles? I think this is a common question that should be asked....How can someone like me...who is very real and grounded find a real slave or a real submissive in a sea of wanna-bees?

quote:

In all fairness to the submissives and slaves out there....I think the reverse is true...a real slave or submissive can also get lost in a sea of Dominant wanna-bees....So how can the real deals separate themselves from the fakes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

*sets up vending table*

I have beer, coke, pepsi, and hot dogs... get your hot dogs here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherLord2003

I am not a slave or a submissive, but it is mho that if one is a Master, self proclaimed or otherwise, that he should have the ability to nurture submission from those he desires a relationship with and that want to have a relationship with him. It is not about beating your chest and proclaiming to the world your greatness, instead it is about fueling desire, touching their mind, caressing their heart. It is about falling in love, yes I said love. I have never quite understood why people think that everyone they talk to should be a perfect match instantly. I have talked to lots of people and told many of them no thank you. It wasn't because they were not what they claimed to be, it was because our hearts didn't connect. Say what you will, but without love, it is a job. I place the highest expectations on myself, not my submissive, and yes I have one, and yes she wears my collar... proudly I might add. when we started talking, we talked for 11 straight hours on the phone... that was the begining of a week of talking for more than 6o hours on the phone, so by the time we met, we had a good idea of the other persons thoughts, ideals, and hearts. We didnt talk about play, kinks, or perversions, we talked to each others heart... when we met, you could have taken the chemistry and bottled it, it was so intense.

Bottom line is, maybe the place you should look is in the mirror, see what it is that you convey to others. It's just my opinion, and opinions are like a-holes, everyone has them, most of them stink.