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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 4:43:29 PM   
sub4hire


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quote:

Your right, I was thinking about trust. To me you can't respect people without trusting them, so I equate the two pretty closely. I guess some people don't. I'll have to keep that in mind.


Trust has to be earned as well as respect has to. You don't earn trust by a few words here and there.
Sure, you may meet people of like mind's. Talk to them more, get to know them and earn some trust.
However, this has not happened yet.


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 4:55:57 PM   
feline


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Since when do you earn someones respect from just meeting them? Or by inviting them to your house???


Your right, I was thinking about trust. To me you can't respect people without trusting them, so I equate the two pretty closely. I guess some people don't. I'll have to keep that in mind.

Thanks.


Ok, so what your saying is you should have said "I would think that by meeting us, and the fact that we've invited you to our home you would trust us."

You are kidding, right?!

Websters Coligate defines these words like this;

respect - to consider worthy of high regard

trust - a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. b: one in which confidence is placed.


Oh, and your very welcome.






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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 4:58:59 PM   
Mercnbeth


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Well, at least I'm worthy of conversation. I can respect that. And I also said I "equate" the two. A better way to put it would have been to say I associate the two closely. But in a more sanguine form "equate" can work. I trust you'll forgive the malapropism.

Come on, you had to at least smile didn't ya'??????

Besides, beth's been back in Santa Maria helping her mom pack for a move back east, for that past week. I've had nobody to beat on. But she's home tomorrow. I'll be back to being my "ad-normal" self. Trust me!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 3/30/2005 6:41:21 PM >

(in reply to feline)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 8:05:05 PM   
ProtagonistLily


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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: siamsa24

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

A person who doen't want to be the person not playing at a party.



lol, that's wonderful




And....uh...kind rude. 's like saying a submissive person is one who couldn't get sex on his own terms. Or a dominant person is a control freak who struck out in "normal" dating.

Wow.


I don't know why you had such a strong reaction to this. This is exactly why I started Topping. It's unfortunately that you found this so offensive. I, however, found it right on the money.

Sometimes, a sense of humor is a good thing. I go to parties to have fun, and if they aren't fun, why bother? I wanted to have more fun, so I started Topping. For me, it's all about the fun.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
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(in reply to perverseangelic)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 8:49:40 PM   
sub4hire


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quote:

I don't know why you had such a strong reaction to this. This is exactly why I started Topping. It's unfortunately that you found this so offensive. I, however, found it right on the money.

Sometimes, a sense of humor is a good thing. I go to parties to have fun, and if they aren't fun, why bother? I wanted to have more fun, so I started Topping. For me, it's all about the fun.


I don't know personally why she had such a strong reaction. I'm not a switch. However I've spoken to many switches. I can tell you that some switches are switches not for the play but because they don't quite know where they fit yet.
If that were me and people were laughing and joking about me. Yep, my feelings would be a tad hurt.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 8:51:40 PM   
feline


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Sometimes, a sense of humor is a good thing. I go to parties to have fun, and if they aren't fun, why bother? I wanted to have more fun, so I started Topping. For me, it's all about the fun.

Lily


Oh don't get me wrong, I think a sense of humor is wonderful. Keeps "you" sane at times. But some of us take this a little more serious then fun and games.





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(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 9:27:17 PM   
feline


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Well, at least I'm worthy of conversation. I can respect that.


Don't get too excited I talk to dogs too.


malapropism - the usu. unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase; esp: the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in context.

The problem is . . . . . I don't find you humorous.





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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 9:44:57 PM   
SherriA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

I don't know why you had such a strong reaction to this. This is exactly why I started Topping. It's unfortunately that you found this so offensive. I, however, found it right on the money.


I had a pretty strong reaction to it when I initially read it as well. It came across as condescending as well as inaccurate from my perspective. You may have started topping because you wanted to be able to play at every party (nothing wrong with that!) but that's not accurate for the majority of people I know who switch.

quote:


Sometimes, a sense of humor is a good thing.


Indeed, though I've been told I was short-changed in that regard (and I generally agree with that assessment). There's a difference, though, between laughing *with* someone and laughing *at* them. Merc's post came across as the latter. Does that make it unfunny? To the person being laughed *at* it usually does.

quote:


I go to parties to have fun, and if they aren't fun, why bother? I wanted to have more fun, so I started Topping. For me, it's all about the fun.


I go to parties to have fun too, though for me fun is just as likely to be socializing as playing. I don't switch to make sure that I can always find someone (anyone... it smacked of desperation in Merc's post) to play with. I switch because I enjoy both aspects and because I get something out of both of them. Equating that with a desperate need not to feel left out of the fun and games was offensive, but more importantly inaccurate.



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Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/30/2005 10:30:46 PM   
perverseangelic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
I don't know why you had such a strong reaction to this. This is exactly why I started Topping. It's unfortunately that you found this so offensive. I, however, found it right on the money.

Sometimes, a sense of humor is a good thing. I go to parties to have fun, and if they aren't fun, why bother? I wanted to have more fun, so I started Topping. For me, it's all about the fun.

Lily


Sherri was pretty right on for how I felt. It didn't feel like laughing with. It felt like laughing at.

Again, I am not a switch, but I get the -same- thing as a bisexual/pansexual. It is -hard- to admit to being an identity that is constantly questioned. It's hard to have the "seriousness" of your idenitity questioned at all times.

The post sounded like yet another person questioning the ability of a switch to be 'serious' about either role. That bothers me, and I guess I hoped this forum was above that. I was surprised to find it here.

Again, yes, I can see the joke. It didn't feel like a kind joke. Too, again, tone is hard to read on the net.

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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/31/2005 9:15:31 AM   
westside


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Shortest possible answer: me.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/31/2005 9:39:07 AM   
terah


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Thx Westside , refreshing to read a post back on the topic..LOL

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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/31/2005 10:38:21 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

feline: But some of us take this a little more serious then fun and games.


Maybe today you can define "this" for me.

Because my relationship with beth is very serous, but I'll tell you, we laugh and smile a hell of a lot. It is a MAJOR part of what we are. I've admitted guilt to insensitivity, but I'll be damned before I'm accused of not taking my lifestyle seriously. beth and I LIVE it 24/7. I'll allow all the challenges to our definition that anyone wants to make but not our sincerity.

This board is a wonderful forum for debate and sometimes even intellectual exchange. But it still remains on-line. This is where Gloria and I couldn't agree more; until proven otherwise, everyone's persona here is considered a facade. The bottom line though is so-what? You respond to what you read or don't. Accept the person posting as his/her/their profile documents. In our case, beth & I enjoy meeting people in person. I will say that 100% of the people we've met from here were as represented. But some never showed up, or backed down from their great desire to meet us once we invited them to do so; and I'd wager that those were frauds. Again - so what? My favorite author, Stephen King, wrote books under the name Bachmann, I still loved them. I didn't love them any less or more when I found out, that my second favorite author was actually the same guy who was my first favorite.

And contrary to others opinion I have developed both respect and disrespect for people here because of what they write. Requiring intimacy or personal intercourse as a condition of respect would mean that you don't respect people like Mother Theresa, Gandhi, or anyone else that doesn't meet that condition.

There is no hidden meaning or agenda behind what I post. Maybe you can't accept that my comments both here and on another thread about this subject in the Poll area, that the idea of being a "bi-sexual switch" is one of envy. Not because I assume it implies any cavalier sexual or emotional attitude. I didn't and don't associated one with the other. I would still have my current moral values. To have that freedom of enjoyment is a desirable goal. The one sentence comment may have seemed humorous to others, obviously not you, but it wasn't intended to be.

And there is not one iota of prejudice in me concerning a switch, transsexual, gay, straight, black, white, or any nationality. I won't accept that insult either. But I do have the opinion that sometimes people's insecurities are illustrated by their sensitivity to some comments they feel are pointed at them, even if they are taken out of context, or if, as in this case, were not the subject of the OP. For if the subject was "respect for a switch", my post would have been one of not only respect but of honest envy. I wish my writing skills were good enough to have conveyed that in my first, one sentence, response.

In that regard, this has been a very enlightening and interesting thread, but I will also say to whitepet - SORRY for this thread getting hi-jacked! And westside - NICE!

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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/31/2005 11:15:51 AM   
feline


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First of all, that statement wasn't directed at you. Why are you getting so defensive over something that clearly wasn't meant for you?

quote:

I'll allow all the challenges to our definition that anyone wants to make but not our sincerity.


Con men are sincere too.

quote:

This is where Gloria and I couldn't agree more; until proven otherwise, everyone's persona here is considered a facade.



quote:

And contrary to others opinion I have developed both respect and disrespect for people here because of what they write.


Tell me if I'm wrong. But aren't these two statements contradictions? You either agree respect can be earned here(online) or you don't. Which is it?


And to all others, sorry for the topic disruption. I just felt some "things" needed to be brought to the surface. Remember Guyana.

JMHO






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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/31/2005 11:21:14 AM   
perfectlycast


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In response to whitepet's question:

A person who lives by the old adage that variety is the spice of life.

Unfortunately, some people have been offended by some of the other responses. Not sure why. Unless they are long-time personal friends of mine, I would take everything I read here with a grain of salt. Some people are not going to respond seriously, but only to be funny or to mess with others. How are you to know? A sense of humor is a valuable asset in life. Know when to let things slide, allow the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinon, and, don't sweat the small stuff.

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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/31/2005 11:21:44 AM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

quote:

This is where Gloria and I couldn't agree more; until proven otherwise, everyone's persona here is considered a facade.


quote:

And contrary to others opinion I have developed both respect and disrespect for people here because of what they write.

Tell me if I'm wrong. But aren't these two statements contradictions? You either agree respect can be earned here(online) or you don't. Which is it?


No - You may be a man, but I can still respect what you write. I don't, but I could.

And there will be NO Kool-aid served to our guests joining us in Vegas.

Is a comparison to Adolf Hilter or Eichmann next?

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 3/31/2005 11:25:22 AM >

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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/31/2005 12:09:43 PM   
sub4hire


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quote:

No - You may be a man, but I can still respect what you write. I don't, but I could.


Pardon my intrusion into the two of your little rant here but....Merc you could very well be a female to.

Until you know in person, you really don't know. That is the point I've been trying to make here on the board's for two weeks.

Respect cannot be obtained here.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 3/31/2005 12:11:35 PM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

Merc you could very well be a female to.


Damn Gloria - I begged you not to "out" me on this board! Please what ever you do, DON'T out beth as a man. We want that to be a surprise for the people coming to Vegas!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 3/31/2005 2:02:09 PM >

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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 4/1/2005 5:13:35 AM   
ProtagonistLily


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quote:

But some of us take this a little more serious then fun and games.


Hrm...you are inferring a lot with this. You are inferring I'm some bubble head who's just a beat-me/beat-you chick.

You'd be dead wrong.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 4/1/2005 8:57:18 AM   
sub4hire


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quote:

Damn Gloria - I begged you not to "out" me on this board! Please what ever you do, DON'T out beth as a man. We want that to be a surprise for the people coming to Vegas!


Merc,
Your response as humorous as is it only proves my point even further. It is all jokes and games here. Many may not even be the same sex they are claiming.
This is how people get hurt. When we start believing the rubbish other's spew.

You know, I know you are a man. Just as I know feline is a female. However, those we have not met don't have a clue.
All they know is the personalities we possess here.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: A SWITCH defined in one sentence? - 4/2/2005 3:14:07 PM   
FootFather


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this is the most entertaining corresp. ive ever seen online forum.. dont make BDSM a religion a-holes, just live your own life cuz for most in this culture its not bout how u get your orgasm but for me it mostly is...im a sexual switch but im not a lifestyle switch ill never be a slave but everything we do is centered around how we have foreplay even if that lasts 2weeks b4 sex instead of 2hours its comes down to the control and submission of the physical maybe not starting but def ending with the sex organs.ie-try describing your relationship or posting a profile without talking about something 2nd degree related to sex, u cant, or your not "really in the lifestyle" its all bullisht to ID the lifestyle for how it works for the individual and his/her community, so stop trying to make denominations and shyt and have fun bytches!!!!!!! but back to the thread-
A switch=The penetrable penetrator. or the guy who just love the lifestyle; not half of it.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh got ya there!!!
GrowUP.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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