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RE: When He needs you.... - 3/9/2007 11:58:32 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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I offer the best of wishes. If I were you I would take everything said here to heart. And stop posting under a false name with the intent to deceive. I think, if discovered, that will make him feel more out of control then ever... I know it is not your intent and I understand your motivations, but it is something that you may well want to consider. Best of luck to you both.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to needHim)

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RE: When He needs you.... - 3/14/2007 1:40:44 PM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
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I am in contact with a Dom who also has parkinsons he lives in NC if you want i will ask him if it is ok to give you his name so they can talk together. I know he is still working at this time though. I do not know how progressive his is. My grandfather had it and my aunt has it now. Each person is different with it. You need to keep communication open with your Master that is even more important now so he won't feel left out of things. Give him little jobs to do something you know he can handle maybe folding towels sorting the laundry. Maybe get him into working with volunteer groups. Feel free to contact on here anytime.

patina

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a diamond in the rough

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RE: When He needs you.... - 3/14/2007 8:12:29 PM

maybemaybenot

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Joined: 9/22/2005
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I was in a very long term D./s relationship in which the last two years he had a debilitating illness. Feel free to contact me on the other side, if you like. The best I can tell you is this: The physical elements of the D/s dynamic change < not only play, but everyday life>, but the foundation remains D/s. You take on a role, that appears Dominant to you and perhaps to others, but when you break it down, it is really isn't. It's more digging down deeper into submission and finding the strength to * take over* areas of his daily life/routine, <whatever applies> without stepping out of yourself. It continues to be service, but it takes a while to see that that is what it is. Be patient with yourself and with him.
I know that sounds weird and like an oxymoron, but it is a process you develope and go thru together. Some how it evolves within both of you and you don't lose who you are. Near the end I was working full time, maintaining the entire household, caring for him physically, caring for him emotionally. I made most of the major decisions, but they were based on what I knew he would have decided. We knew the day would come that I would have to * take charge* so we had plenty of time to discuss how I would handle things and what he wanted me to do in the case of * situation XXX*. Not much came up that we had not prepared for.

Communicate, listen to him, have an ongoing dialogue as to if he prefers to
" struggle thru a chore" or if he would prefer you do it or finish it for him. As long as possible and to the extent possible make your offers a choice. When he choses to struggle thru it, be OK with yourself about it. We all need to maintain a certain independence in the face of chronic illness, even if it exhausts us to do so. Perhaps because we know deep down the day will come that this will no longer be an option.
It certainly isn't easy, it hurts alot, but somehow it makes you stronger. Cliche, I know, but true for me.

Others have spoken of support groups etc. Heed this advice. I would have lost my sanity if I did not develope a strong core of people to support me and help me thru it.

<<< hugs>>>

mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 3/14/2007 8:24:46 PM >

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Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: When He needs you.... - 3/14/2007 8:49:20 PM

needHim

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Joined: 3/7/2007
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Thank you all again for your advice and thoughts in this. My Master is not the best at sharing his feelings, I am not sure he would talk to someone else about it or not. I know he wouldn't be mad if he did find out I was writing here, but I prefer to keep it so he doesn't.

I am very grateful that most of the symptoms have stopped, the meds they have now are pretty incredible.

I appreciate so much everyone taking the time to write such thoughtful posts, it means a lot to me, really.

I am learning to just let him go on as he is, and only offer help at certain times. So far this seems to be going well, though I have to walk away sometimes as to not butt in where he would prefer I didn't.

It's a lot of learning for both of us, but I think we will be fine.

(in reply to maybemaybenot)

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Post #: 24