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Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:16:42 PM

LifelongChastity

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline

Please, make CollarMe a paid site!

Now before you shoot me, please consider why:

First, it would enable them to make some important modifications. We really need better search options here. For example, I'd add the following options when searching for profiles:

- What do you seek? a) Women, b) men, c) both (This ensures that, for ex., bisexuals who only seek women, don't get mail from men.)

- Body type, as opposed to putting a numeric weight

- Are you here to meet someone for: a) Lifestyle relationship, b) professional clients, or c) just chat?

I think we all agree that these are important issues, which might be addressed if they can pay a web designer and maybe even moderator.

These search options will better ensure that a Dominant women who, for example, wants only to chat, doesn't get mail from a man who wants a lifetime relationship, since these issues seem to be a source of such heartburn for so many people, reading their profiles.

Also: let's face it, having to make a small payment gets rid of (most) trolls. It ensures that serious, committed people sign up. And it also keeps the cheap pro's from using this site as a free ad.

On paid sites, like Alt, I don't see the anger and bitterness in Dominant womens' profiles, as I see here. The reason? Alt is a paid site; therefore, the "unwashed masses" can't slam someone with endless mail (which is what seems to cause all the anger in their profiles and journals).

And besides, I won't have as much of a nagging feeling that the person claiming to be 24 is really 16...

What does everyone think?

< Message edited by LifelongChastity -- 4/9/2005 8:20:08 PM >

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:31:44 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

- What do you seek? a) Women, b) men, c) both (This ensures that, for ex., bisexuals who only seek women, don't get mail from men.)

Yes they will, all that would do is enable each to narrow their own personal search, it won't stop you from getting unwanted mail.

quote:

- Body type, as opposed to putting a numeric weight

That wouldn't help either, alt does that and I still don't get how a person that stands 5'6" tall and weighs in at am impressive 300 pounds can consider themselves as "athletic".

quote:

Also: let's face it, having to make a small payment gets rid of (most) trolls. It ensures that serious, committed people sign up. And it also keeps the cheap pro's from using this site as a free ad.

Surely you don't believe that "trolls" can't have credit cards, do you? That was MSN's reasoning too, it didn't work there either. All it would accomplish is getting rid of some very real and very wonderful people that simply couldn't afford to join. I know the old argument that it wouldn't have to be much to join, ok, so "trolls" wouldn't have to spend as much, but for some, students for example, even a small amount is beyond their budget. I think that this being a free site is incredible, the job they do here is commendable and those of us that can afford it should donate simply because we can. I joined Alt and Bondage, ok, not so much negativity...... but lots of snobs and wannabes. I like collarme just fine the way it is. They make improvements as they can and if you really wanna be of some help, offer your services, volunteer to do what ever you are able to do. I just can't see making it a pay site as a good idea.

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:35:59 PM

LifelongChastity

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline

Ok I'll accept this as a free site, as long as all these Domme's take the anger and animosity out of their profiles. They get a free product, then complain endlessly about it. What do you expect? Anyone can join and send unlimited mail for free. Of course they're going to get slammed with mail -- so stop whining about it!

Now, I think you missed my point. I never implied that charging a small usage fee is a total cure-all. But it allows for various improvements - such as more search options, for one.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:39:27 PM

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

Actually, I got more bullshit junk from alt than I have here - which is why I am no longer on alt and am still here. I would hate to have collarme end up like alt is.

And please, search for something other than just Dommes and you will find that it is not only the Dommes who have anger and tirades in their profiles. Don't fool yourself into thinking that only Dommes have posted tirades about people on this site - if you like, I can point you to at least 10 sub-male profiles with the exact thing that you are accusing only Dommes of having.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 4/9/2005 8:41:56 PM >

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:43:12 PM

LifelongChastity

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Actually, I got more bullshit junk from alt than I have here - which is why I am no longer on alt and am still here. I would hate to have collarme end up like alt is.

Really? I don't see all the bitterness on women's profiles on Alt, as I see here. In fact, the difference is night and day.

Now, before I posted this originally, I knew there would not be one single person who'd agree with me. But I think I gave some very credible, highly reasoned arguments in support.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:44:44 PM

Posts: 779
Status: offline

I'd say yay but i'm not seeking for partners, i'm looking for friends.

and a forum that is active.

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:45:55 PM

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LifelongChastity

Really? I don't see all the bitterness on women's profiles on Alt, as I see here. In fact, the difference is night and day.

Now, before I posted this originally, I knew there would not be one single person who'd agree with me. But I think I gave some very credible, highly reasoned arguments in support.

As I said, we just left alt, it was pointless to be there, so I took the profile down entirely - although I can assure you that I had some bitterness up on it. At least here, some of the trolls do learn.

You have some well thought arguments in support of it - but I don't think it would work ... I think that collarme would become just the same as alt and that would be a damn shame.

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:46:19 PM

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Pros and cons to both sides I suppose. I've (we've) been paid members of both Alt and Bondage and have since dropped both memberships and just stayed on as free members. I met my "other half" on Alt, so I do not think they are a bad site, but they limit the access to their free members so much they can't contact you anymore anyway. Having been a member there it shows too, you seldom hear from anyone. The problem with the pay sites is pretty much that, you limit your participants, sure you may get rid of many who are trolls and wankers, but many who are sincere will be limited. Some folks simply do not have the funds to be able to be members, I have known some who don't even have their own computer or if they do, they may not be able to afford to pay an ISP for a connection. The search options are fine here in my estimation, sure it's more work, but you may find someone you didn't know you were looking for, not a bad thing. I have actually feared that they would make CM a pay site, I feel it would have the same effect that the chat rooms suffered on MSN, instant death or suffering at best. They never will recover. I think maybe an easier way for those of us who can afford it to simply donate some cash may be a better move. Or perks for volunteers might be an option. I like CollarMe and have met many lifestylers I may not have if the site was pay. Guess I'm voting no huh...didn't think I was when I started typing...lol.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 8:56:03 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

And please, search for something other than just Dommes and you will find that it is not only the Dommes who have anger and tirades in their profiles.

~~Gives the old High Five to SweetDommes~~~

I have seen some really hateful, bitter and extremely demanding profiles under slaves and submissives profiles.....

quote:

Actually, I got more bullshit junk from alt than I have here - which is why I am no longer on alt and am still here. I would hate to have collarme end up like alt is.

Same here, I/We left alt because of all the players taking over the site.

quote:

Ok I'll accept this as a free site, as long as all these Domme's take the anger and animosity out of their profiles. They get a free product, then complain endlessly about it. What do you expect? Anyone can join and send unlimited mail for free. Of course they're going to get slammed with mail -- so stop whining about it!

I can't help but wonder if there are as many anger and animosity filled Domme (Domina) profiles here as there are complaints about them?

And thank you LifelongChastity, we all appreciate that you can now accept this as a free site, I'm sure we will all sleep better knowing that.

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:01:48 PM

LifelongChastity

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline

Solution: Make the chat forums free; charge to send email.

That will satisfy all the whiners who rant in their profiles about being flooded with email.

And, it might allow the administrators to pay for new search features, which should also please the whiners.

By the way, being a submissive here can also be insanely frustrating. (I am more mature than to rant about that on my profile, though.): Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be 1 out of 1000 who send mail to a Domme? Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be written back by someone who wants "tribute"? Or to weed through profiles of cheap pro's using this as a free site? Or to read the profile of a Domme screaming at everyone about the "morons" on the site? It's depressing and frustrating.

Here again, making this a paid site would not eliminate these problems, but would significantly reduce them.

< Message edited by LifelongChastity -- 4/9/2005 9:13:24 PM >

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:09:34 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

By the way, being a submissive here can also be insanely frustrating. (I am more mature than to rant about that on my profile, though.): Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be 1 out of 1000 who send mail to a Domme? Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be written back by someone who wants "tribute"? Or to weed through profiles of cheap pro's using this as a free site?

First.... anything worth having is worth waiting/working/fighting for, and I have to be honest cuz' that's just me.... I learn a lot about people from reading their posts and your's says so much. If you are indeed so terribly unhappy here, why are you staying? No one is forcing you. If you are so all fired up about paying for a service there are many out there. Enjoy your life.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:13:00 PM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifelongChastity

Solution: Make the chat forums free; charge to send email.

That will satisfy all the whiners who rant in their profiles about being flooded with email.

And, it might allow the administrators to pay for new search features, which should also please the whiners.

By the way, being a submissive here can also be insanely frustrating. (I am more mature than to rant about that on my profile, though.): Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be 1 out of 1000 who send mail to a Domme? Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be written back by someone who wants "tribute"? Or to weed through profiles of cheap pro's using this as a free site?

Here again, making this a paid site would not eliminate these problems, but would significantly reduce them.

I look at it the other way around. Do you know how much a good email stands out when you receive 50 lame ones in a row?

Subs can use the rationale that there are way too many subs competing for a femdom's attention -- but in reality, the ones that have done their homework, know how to approach a woman as a person first and a fetish provider second, and take a lot of care and pay attention to detail do stand out.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:14:28 PM

LifelongChastity

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline

Jewel, you come across as quite negative yourself. Just an FYI.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:20:46 PM

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be 1 out of 1000 who send mail to a Domme?

Works that way for everyone...is not different than being 1 out of however many that send a message to a sub/slave. Sure there are drawbacks, but that goes with the increased coverage. Guess it's just like placing an ad or writing a resume, guess all better work on communication skills to stand out from the crowd. And the charging for the mail..lol, I would vote yes for Yahoo or Hotmail if I thought that would cut down the spam...but seriously, I don't think that would work for anyone, now you get to pay for every message you send?..hmmm, I use CM mail for regular communications with some folks, kinda like the telephone company charging for long distance, which is legal, which the Gov't tried to assimilate with e-mail but it got shot down. Bottom line; if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:21:37 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Jewel, you come across as quite negative yourself. Just an FYI.

You think??? Gosh, I guess it's true.... negativity begets negativity.... but you won't find it in my profile, I'm only negative.... ok, sometimes down right bitchy... to those that work so hard at earning it.

Under normal circumstances I'm one of the most charming people you could meet, maybe you just bring that out in me.......

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:23:10 PM

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

Please DON'T make this a pay site, I don't see any need to unless the people who run this place are having trouble paying the bills, an before then I'd suggest using paid advertisements, banner ads, etc to see if that would pick up the slack.

The improvements to the search engine suggested by LifelongChastity should not be hard to make. If I'm not wrong, the site is using PHP scripting which I'm currently learning... give me say 9 months... an I could make those changes for them for free. There are also modifications for forum boards like this that are already available for free, that can be looked into. Once I have the time and expertise to volunteer, I most likely will.

As for the bitter attitudes in some profiles (an I see it in people of all types, not just some of the Domme's) that's a personal choice on their part about how they choose to present themselves. Profiles are often your first impression on people here, my suggestion is you use that opportunity wisely. Nobody gets a second chance at a first impression. I know the ladies especially get bombarded with mail, and I realize that can be overwhelming. A young lady I care about recently signed up here, within hours and long before her profile was approved, she was getting deluged with mail... at one point at the average rate of one per 2.5 minutes! An she doesn't even have a pic on her profile! To me writing to a girl like that just smacks of desparation on the part of the senders. But it also shows that many simply are not reading profiles... so you might as well put your best foot forward on your profile because the people who you would like to hear from are the only ones reading it, an if you are very bitter, they may pass you by!

Pay sites aren't necessarily better. I used to have a profile on Alt (as Padriag in fact) and paid for my membership. I got very frustrated when I realized that most of the women got their memberships free while as a man I had to pay for the same priveleges! I was even more dishearted when I figured out that Alt was itself salting its membership with fake profiles of submissive women. The reason should be obvious, they make their money off their male membership, so they were providing plenty of bait to ensure they get their money. In the end the only thing I liked about Alt was its chatrooms.

Here I have chatrooms, a discussion forum and the profiles... this is a wonderful site and I'm glad some friends recommended it to me. I do want to see the site improve and grow and I'm willing to help with that when and where I can. There are things that don't seem to work properly and things that I think could be done better, like more options with the search engines. But give it time and be grateful for having such a great site available for free. We get more here at no cost than many pay sites offer with a membership... please don't knock that!

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:23:19 PM

Posts: 28
Joined: 7/22/2004
Status: offline

I'm all for charging, but why not have payment options? For example, have free membership for people who just want to chat. Charge a small fee for email access, and charge a larger fee for email access with the different search-options for maximum flaxibility.

I reject the argument that some people may not be able to afford this. Someone else said it, I think -- that this is something important enough to wait and sacrifice for. If fifteen bucks a month is too much for someone, then maybe the time on the computer would be better spent taking a part-time job, in that case. If someone is serious about finding a partner, you'll find it in your budget.

Truthfully, and I don't say this to be snide, but there was a time in my life just out of school that I didn't have much money. And at that time, I had no business being in a serious, lifetime relationship. Money issues strain more marriages and relationships than anything else. In my case, I worked and worked and saved until I got into a comfortable financial position. Now that my career is established, I am fully ready for a relationship. So if someone truly can't afford $15 a month, that person's priorities should be on strengthening their financial footing or furthering their career ambitions. (You can tell I'm a financial planner, lol).

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:25:27 PM

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifelongChastity

By the way, being a submissive here can also be insanely frustrating. (I am more mature than to rant about that on my profile, though.): Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be 1 out of 1000 who send mail to a Domme? Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be written back by someone who wants "tribute"? Or to weed through profiles of cheap pro's using this as a free site? Or to read the profile of a Domme screaming at everyone about the "morons" on the site? It's depressing and frustrating.

As a matter of fact, we do know, because you have mentioned it more than once now. Not to mention the fact that we hear it from other subs.

For Holly and me, we know that there are a lot more male subs than Dommes - and even fewer of the Dommes actually want male subs. We know that it's not easy to find a Domme who wants males, and isn't a money-Domme or a Pro. But we don't want to be whined at about it. And when we do get a good e-mail (and yes, we read every single one of the messages that we recieve), we are always impressed and see where the relationship goes, if for no other reason than they actually DID take the time to read our profile, even if there is something that would disqualify them otherwise (like a severe allergy to cats, or they aren't relocatable within the next few years, etc.)

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:26:36 PM

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

Look folks, in this day and age money is tight for almost everyone, and while I know how expensive it is to run a site like this, I am delighted it is free, or run by donations. As much as I detest the trolls, I hate to burst your bubble Lifelong chasity, but making this a pay will not do anything to lesson the trolls, and insincere, or angry and bitter people.. Or the whining complaining ones either. The bottom line is the world is full of difficult people, and as humans we learn to either deal with it, or go nuts trying. Some of us from time to time may choose to vent mildly on our journals or profiles, and some of the clueless or bitter ones may need to grandstand and posture themselves to mask thier personal insecurities with thier profiles. The simple truth, is this: If you don't like a person, Ignore them, if you don't like a site, leave it. You have more power in the click of a mouse that you realize.

To Quote the opening of my favorite book:

" Life is difficult.
This is a great truth, on of the greatest truths. It is a great truth becaause once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it-- then life is no longer difficult. Because one it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. " M. Scott Peck, The Road less Traveled.

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

RE: Make this a paid site! - 4/9/2005 9:43:38 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifelongChastity
Really? I don't see all the bitterness on women's profiles on Alt, as I see here. In fact, the difference is night and day.

Now, before I posted this originally, I knew there would not be one single person who'd agree with me. But I think I gave some very credible, highly reasoned arguments in support.

Many people here are thankful that there is a non-pay site where they can network. For some people, they would not be able to afford a pay site. I have a profile on each (I'm a paying member on Alt) and I find that they cater to 2 different populations.

If you are happier with what you find on Alt, then what are you doing here? I'm not trying to make you feel unwanted but look at this way... you have 16 posts on our forums. Many people here have well over a hundred, even a thousand. Many of us are satisfied with the way things are and we don't appreciate a new member telling us how we should reform after observing us for such a short period of time. Constructive criticism and suggestions are always welcomed, but thinking you have a solution after your short observation is quite presumptuous. This combined with your “why is there so much negativity” thread is not going to help you win the popularity award here. Lacks a little tact if you ask me.

Sit back, relax and start interacting with the locals before you form such drastic opinions.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LifelongChastity)

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