RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/10/2007 4:13:10 PM

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

In my opinion NO.

Sadism and being a master can or can not be the same thing. It really depends on the Dominnants kink.

For me sadism comes along with being a Dominant. I am into things onew oul consider sadistic, possibly even bordering on disturbing. Knife Play, Blood Play, Pain, that is to me what would be considered sadistic. But there is also the sadistic mind games, Humiliaton id a good example of this.

I have Dominant friends who are into far less (for lack of a better word) "extreme" things that I am. Some are only into rope and tickeling, While others prefer to just do Blindfolding or wearing masks.

To me Sadism can be a part of BDSM, but it truely lies in the actions and kinks of the Dominant to sertermine wether he is or is not a Sadist.

(in reply to SirDominic)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/10/2007 10:16:28 PM

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi
...A girl is embarrassed to admit she dressed down a potential Master just this morning... she had been talking to him a couple of weeks with the email tag thing... and he just seemed sooooo hung up on physical appearances, implying that this one would be left at home to cook and clean while he went out with others who were more physically attractive than she.... Grrrrrrrrrrs... she told him that if he wished an empty headed "trophy" girl, he best look someplace else, for the creator granted her intelligence, not the jet setting looks, and she is grateful she has what she has. she also said a few choice words about his own potential appearance. <giggles> she's never seen a pic of him.
ada

I personally feel that you girl, made a wise choice. Shows that some people can be emotionally sadistic while not being physically sadistic. You need to find a Sir/Master that will accept your love and submission.   One that will also accept you for who you really are. Ironic, I started a thread in the General BDSM area about "acceptance of submission".    It's appears that the Sir/Master you were talking with was not accepting of your physical appearence.   Hence this was really a rejection of girl. How can a Girl submit to a sir/master that rejects part of her when she is giving all of herself to him.

For me I am a loving master/dom... however in bedroom play. I do play rough as well as sensual. In part there is a sadistic side to my nature, I'm also a masochist and I require that my sub/slave be capable of delivering pain into me at times.  Keep on with your search. Seek and you will find. Try reading the profiles without the pictures as well. There may be perhaps one Sir/Master who you will fill with much joy.   There are many sub/slaves on this site that are maso and crave pain. In time some Sirs/Masters who are not into this may give up after spending countless hours and responding to profiles.

The men on this site, send out countless emails and devote much time.   I will share with you something. The Best Submissives I encountered were the ones that sought me out and responded to my profile.

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/11/2007 2:07:52 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline

I can partially admit to being a sadist, but that is conditional on how it is received. For example, one of my slaves is a machosist who enjoys pain (spanking, whipping, biting hard enough to leave marks, etc) and really gets off on it sexually. My other slave does not enjoy being hurt in those ways and so I don't do those things with her. For me, if they aren't enjoying it then neither am I. I don't feel that just because I am male that it makes me superior to either of my slaves (both female in case you hadn't guessed) or that they must submit to me because of their gender or anything else. My personality is dominant and theirs is submissive to me and I view their submission as a gift. As far as degrading or humiliating my slaves, I wouldn't get any pleasure out of that. All degrading or humiliating them would do is to probably show them I had power over them. I already know they are going to obey me, they've proved it many times. I don't need to degrade them to make myself feel good.

(in reply to SirDominic)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/11/2007 2:45:00 PM

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

sometimes, pain is administered as punishment; it's not to be enjoyed, so many masters walking that realm would like the fact that your endorphines don't kick in and make you 'feel good'...

some masters are sadists, so they like to see you 'feel good/bad' from pain...

some masters sport a more corporal punishment type of scenario, so they like to administer pain as well; preferably one you don't enjoy...

some masters like to push mental/emotional buttons for dicipline, punisment, training(or whatever you like to call it), pain/pleasure/humiliation/degradation...

some masters like to use all of the above methods to live by...

the one thing all of those masters have in common is that they are perfectly capable of deciding how important the 'physical pain dynamic' is to their way of playing, punishing, etc., and/or accepting/rejecting/negotiating your lack of desire for any pain, mental, emotional, or physical(from what your post seems to say).

trying to find a master, that won't have a leg to stand on, when it comes to being the leader (based on your limitations, if i understood that part correctly), you're putting yourself on equal grounds all across the board, so pretty much, in my opinion, being vanilla, thereby not being able to find the master for you; you haven't left him anything to master.

quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi

this one respectfully has a legitimate question...
Why do nearly ALL the Masters she meets have to also have a strong Sadistic streak? Time after time she hears or reads where a Master would be interested in this one, and he will ask, "do you enjoy being spanked or whipped?" or a multitude of things that cause pain.
When this one will tell a potential Master she is not into pain and pain to her is punishment, the Master goes away. <sighs>

this is not a slave who will act up to get "punished" because she likes it, nor does she need to be toughened up to serve a Master, as she has gotten from some... she's been trained to be as sensitive as she can be, and pain endorphins don't work for her the same way they do for one that enjoys the pain.

Another thing she's noticed is that many feel the need to degrade and humilate her because she is female. she is proud of her gender and proud of her service to offer it to a Master. It is where she belongs, at his feet. she doesn't serve because she is a lowly creature, beneath a superior gender...

So, in reality, her question is twofold... why are most Masters also Sadists, and where are the ones who are not?

ada

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/11/2007 3:13:30 PM

Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

well.. for me .. i am finding that as i experiment more and more alittle bit at a time with pain i do like it and can find pleasure in it.. but .. i dont give myself to a Master because i crave the pain..i am not a masocist ( yet) i give it to Him because HE craves the giving of the pain.... and i wish to make Him happier than He ever thought possiable! and find complete release ..... period...and that is where i find pleasure and joy... in giving that to Him.... if its what He needs....and truely .. in the begining i couldnt figure out WHY i didnt like it... couldnt find subspace and pleasure or find it sensual.... but .. i found that the first person i did that with didnt know what He was doing!! and then for the past 3 1/2 yrs i had a good Master who had 30 plus yrs topping and He showed me the way to find pleasure and yes.. even crave it some.. and certainly the "Dance between the Master and His slave is the most sensual of all.... so maybe give it some time.... and open yourself up or find One with experience... it is not something to just jump into i am sure! it takes patience on the Masters side and trust and a wish to give more than anything on the sub/slaves side... in my opinion...

and too.. there ARE people who are only into D/s and M/s and not into BDSM at all...... really truely!!! * smiles *

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/11/2007 3:14:57 PM

Posts: 236
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

can anyone tell me how the heck to get that nilla cone off my thingie there????? wher'd that come from ????? ** laughs n laughs** hopeing for advice... maybe someone could email here at cm???? pleeeeease??????

(in reply to loverly)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/11/2007 3:31:12 PM

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: loverly

can anyone tell me how the heck to get that nilla cone off my thingie there????? wher'd that come from ????? ** laughs n laughs** hopeing for advice... maybe someone could email here at cm???? pleeeeease??????

the more you post to the forums, the sooner the cone will disappear and change to something else.

(in reply to loverly)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/13/2007 6:42:23 PM

Posts: 36
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline

just because this one doesn't care for pain doesn't mean she doesn't accept it if Master who would own this one feels it is necessary for punishment.

Her main point it, daddysliloneds, is that she doesn't get thrilled by it like painsluts or other masochists do. <chuckles> As she has said before, she will break herself in two to be pleasing rather than be UNpleasing and gaining her a punishment in ANY form.

there is plenty in this one for a Master to "Master". <smiles> Just because this one strives to be the best she can be doesn't mean she doesn't make mistakes. Never would she make one on purpose though, just to get the punishment as some would.

ada

_____________________________

ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/14/2007 5:38:13 AM

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

i'm perfectly capable of 'reading comprehension', thanks, so i 'get' your point, as i 'interpretted' it, and i stand behind my response.

i will add to this though, that masochists, as well as pain sluts, 'don't get a thrill' from pain that's being administered as punishment, whether that's mental/emotional/physical pain, unless of course, they're just playing some sort of fucked little game to get needs/desires met in an odd sort of way.

perhaps you're just reading too much into the 'pain' factor, whether that be emotional/mental/physical, when it comes to punishment...

disappointment in ourselves because of our actions/inactions can be mighty painful, but it's still 'pain' no matter how you look at it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi

just because this one doesn't care for pain doesn't mean she doesn't accept it if Master who would own this one feels it is necessary for punishment.

Her main point it, daddysliloneds, is that she doesn't get thrilled by it like painsluts or other masochists do. <chuckles> As she has said before, she will break herself in two to be pleasing rather than be UNpleasing and gaining her a punishment in ANY form.

there is plenty in this one for a Master to "Master". <smiles> Just because this one strives to be the best she can be doesn't mean she doesn't make mistakes. Never would she make one on purpose though, just to get the punishment as some would.

ada

< Message edited by daddysliloneds -- 4/14/2007 6:11:39 AM >

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/15/2007 2:51:09 PM

Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

My experieces have shown me that a lot of Sadists simply call themselves masters to get someone to submit to being given pain. Then the sub eventually figures out what the game is-and they jet.

Face the facts here-one has to be honest with himself before he can be honest with *you*.

And this is a venue that is highly conducive and supportive of delusional states.

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/16/2007 12:06:38 AM

Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

I would have to say that to be the case as well Stranger1...

In addition, ada, there is something else to keep in mind... A lot of "Masters" claim that title through no effort on their own. They don't know, again, how to walk the walk even as they talk the talk.

Hell, they don't even talk the talk well. Some seem to think "I'll add Master to my nick/username and I'll be able to attract a good lil obedient abuse magnet" or some such bullshit.

They seem to think the title in and of itself is all it takes to be a Master... To these, I say "Get Real."

I don't believe it's necessarily conducive or healthy to have any more than simple daily discipline of a slave in order to establish their place with an owner. This discipline can take the form of many things, and not necessarily things which are pain oriented.

Being somewhat of a 'service Top' when it comes to pain play, I tend towards being sadistic when the girl I'm working is a painslut... For others, it's a different story, and in all cases it's very mood and context driven. When I say mood, I don't mean "emotion", but rather "what do I feel like doing today" sorta thing.

Much like choosing my lunch.

I would say that most of those that were speaking to you are also confusing, much as others have done all over the place, confusing the difference between being a slave owner/Master or Mistress, and being a Top, a Dominant, etc. There are differences in all of these and most people are nowhere near all three.

To own a slave, yes, it makes them an owner... Are they a Master or Mistress yet? They can like to think so.. But have they truly "Mastered" you or anyone else yet? If not, they're not a Master.

In any case, to answer your original post, not all Masters are severe sadists, or even slight ones. Not all Sadists are Masters and not all claiming to be Masters are even Dominant.

Sadism doesn't make the Master and being a Master does not go hand in hand with being a Dominant or a Sadist. They simply seem to compliment one another in this lifestyle.

I thank you girl, for this thread, it was really interesting seeing some of the posts and responses you got... Including the response to Dominic's post... I thought that was hilarious... Okay... I wish you well on your journey. I hope you find the best of what you deserve and it's precisely what you're looking for lilone.

Be well... Peace.

(in reply to Stranger1)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/16/2007 12:36:37 AM

Posts: 22
Joined: 3/17/2007
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline

I don't consider myself to be a master yet (I'm too new to this and refuse to toss that term around loosely). I am a dom, though, and I do NOT consider myself to be a sadist, nor do I believe that it's necessary to be a sadist nor that the two are synonyms. I consider myself playfully sadistic at times, but I use it mainly for discipline or to remind my sub of her place.

_____________________________

-"To be what we are and to become what we are capable of becoming is the only end of life" - Robert Louis Stevenson

(in reply to TigerNINTails)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/16/2007 2:19:37 AM

Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

PoeticMotion,

And that's a very healthy standpoint to come from, in my opinion. Edgeplay in and of itself, and this includes many aspects of S&M, and fewer within the stricter confines of B&D, is inherently risky to the well being of a person.

I too have a tendency for doing what's right to do for the moment, rather than allowing myself to fall into a false or inaccurate label, just because it's something I've done before, will do again, etc. It's just part of what I do, but it isn't the end all of who I am.

Peace.

_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

(in reply to PoeticMotion)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/16/2007 11:25:10 AM

Posts: 219
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

Yes.

Most of the longer term D/s relationships I have seen, involved people who just had a great way of getting along. But they had realistic views-and very few of the Tops had this image of the almighty master stuck in thier heads-thier women sure did-But that was from the fact that thier men held up thier end pretty consistently-not that they were puffing up-or great with a whip.

Talk is cheap,and words without works are dead.

(in reply to TigerNINTails)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/16/2007 11:33:41 AM

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi

...For example, if Master wished a red orange for some reason, and the only oranges she could find were well, orange... she could inject food coloring in the orange to make it red, or beg to see if Master would be happy with the orange orange. Either way, it wasn't possible to find Master that naturally red orange.

ada

Or, ada could search for blood oranges when they are in season...(these oranges are partially red)

But that's beside the point.

MNN

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/16/2007 11:46:15 AM

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

Personally, and I've said this before, I consider myself both a sadist and a masochist. And when I am topping someone, I don't much care whether they enjoy the pain I'm giving them or not...actually, that's not exactly true...I actually enjoy it more when the person does not enjoy the pain I'm giving them in the moment. I actually think that's the actual definition of sadist. I also know that there are varying degrees of sadism. There are some things that I have watched other sadists do that I know I would never do because the act seems either too cruel, too dangerous or too disgusting for my taste, or holds no interest at all for me (edited to add that).

I think tho, in searching for a partner it's fine to be clear that one is not a masochist, but still willing to participate in certain activities...but some sadists do want their bottoms to enjoy pain. I'm not one of those. I only require the person's submission.

MNN

< Message edited by MistressNoName -- 4/16/2007 11:48:00 AM >

(in reply to MistressNoName)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/16/2007 5:48:54 PM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi

this one is not a masochist not because she isn't open to it, but because for some reason, the endorphins that supposedly are released during the pain process must not work right for her or something.... it hurts, it doesn't make her euphoric or put her into any sort of "sub-space". she's just wired differently she guesses. Nipple clamps have this one shrieking in short order, and hurt so badly, they can't stay for more than a second or two before she nearly faints.

You wouldn't happen to have autistics, aspies or people with ADHD in your immediate family, would you?

For me, and three other people I know (2 aspies, 1 ADHD), endorphins, and indeed any opiates, will not give any pain relief whatsoever.

I have personally had the equivalent of about 550mg morphine in me (legally, although not for pain management), without any prior experience with opiates, which should have been enough to knock me out or, if it didn't, it should have let me walk around on a pair of bloody stumps. Yet it did not affect my perception of pain. I even stung from slapping my knee to check.

If something similar is the case for you, it will probably be the case that you can learn a different means of coping with pain, although one that will probably not be conductive to pain: distancing yourself from it, or disconnecting it altogether. That way, you're aware of the pain and how much it hurts, but it isn't affecting you in any way. The wiring for this appears to be present in those I've seen who don't respond to endorphins.

If this isn't the case, which a very friendly doctor might be willing to check for you (sublingual tab or injection, waiting room for 90 minutes, then pinprick test; no driving or operating heavy machinery for the next few days), then you just need to work your way up very slowly, as well as preferrably employing positive stimuli at the same time to condition yourself to like it. Or maybe just work on the pain tolerance in general (many Martial Arts do this as part of their curriculum).

That said, I don't think there's any particular reason to learn to enjoy or tolerate pain if this isn't stopping you from finding the partners you want.

It's like how many boys (and some men) don't want to date a girl/woman who won't give head; personally, if I were a woman, I'd give them the finger, as I wouldn't consider them worth dating if they refused to date on that grounds, but if one doesn't mind working to get used to it, or really wants to do it for "marketability" reasons, there's plenty of ways to go about it.

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/29/2007 10:43:07 AM

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/21/2007
Status: offline

Absolutely Not.. Being a Master to me means that you spend and take time to understand the need of your submissive... also understand her limitation and how far to take her without any negative impact.. I believe the relationship between a Master and Sub should have a positive foundation... Sadistic behavior has no positive or productive quality as far as Im concerned... It does no facilitate growth nor show appreciation or respect for your partner... The best Dom / Sub relationships I feel have a mutual respect for each other...Stimulating and passion arousing pain is one thing ..... Sadistic behavior is another... To care about others, one needs to care about themselves... Evaluate the level of self appreciation Sadistic personalities have... If they do not care about themselves they will not care about you..

(in reply to SirDominic)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/29/2007 10:55:40 AM

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

Are masters uniformly sadists? Absolutely not. Orientation to authority (dominant/submissive, master/slave) is distinct from orientation to sensation (top/bottom, sadist/masochist).

Also, just because you're not a masochist doesn't mean you're ineligible as a partner to a sadist. If you're willing to endure pain, but you don't enjoy it, you will be very appealing to certain dominant sadists. This approach certainly holds some appeal for me.

Why do you encounter a lot of people who are both sadistic and dominant? Many people who do BDSM do it because of some fondness for the physical elements. People who want inequal relationships and don't have any desire for sadomasochism or bondage or kinky sex generally align themselves with other subcultures. Dominant men, especially, have a number of options even today.

(in reply to adanaydi)

RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? - 4/29/2007 11:07:41 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

So, in reality, her question is twofold... why are most Masters also Sadists, and where are the ones who are not?

my answers to your question are no i would think not "most" masters are sadistic, but i dont know for sure...and where to find them?....Hmmmm i'm thinking local munches...or right here on collarme..and i believe there are a few other sites like this one... my Master never considered Himself a sadistic man...LMAO then He met me....(omg...what does that say?).... anyway... and there are MANY forms of sadism i'm thinking, sadism dosent have to be physical it can be mental and emotional as well i would imagine.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to adanaydi)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.156