why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (Full Version)

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YourSlave4life -> why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/26/2004 4:19:17 AM)

Hello to All,
I write to so many Dommes and rarely ever get a respone. I am very sincere in my desire to become someones property but I can't figure out why noone writes me back especially since I don't write 1 or 2 line emails. I write long informative emails. I was wondering if maybe there is something wrong in how my profile is wriiten...Could some please help me figure this out...I need to serve.....
Respectfully,
Michael



Sylverdawn -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/26/2004 6:31:54 AM)

taking this as an honest request for constructive critique:

It looks like a big run-on sentence.. perhaps a bit too much information.. the background color makes my eye just want to hop over it.

I asked my hubby's girl to have a boo at it and here are her thoughts:

The color sucks would be better with a pale blue.. and black lettering if using color at all.

he gives WAY too much detail.. the marines marriage etc...he can say that he's a divorced former marine.. dates and years are not important...the fact he's seeking 24/7 says that he's free they don't need to know how long his divorce was


quote:

instead of ..... I was married from 93-2002, and when I brought the subject up to my ex all I got was ridiculed and told that I needed help, well I know I don't need help and there isn't anything wrong with this lifestyle. I got divorced about 2 years ago and have been on a quest to live the life I need and crave so badly. I need to serve and give myself to a Domme, completely, mind, body and soul.

He could say i'm now in the position to fulfill the quest for that has driven me for so long, ....My quest of being a 24/7 slave


quote:

instead of .... I need to serve and give myself to a Domme, completely, mind, body and soul. This isn't a bedroom fantasy to me, its a real desire and need to surrender myself, completely. I have found out a few things about myself since my journey began, I am a masochist and have very few limits, for the right Domme the word "no" will never be part of my vocabulary. I am very sincere in my willingness and eagerness to serve, your needs, wants and desires come before my own, which is the way it is supposed to be.


He could say...As a 24/7 slave, HER wants and NEEDS will be first and foremost above my own. although my experience is limited it's been discovered that masochist is a good term for this slave. While my experience level is in the fairly new stage, it is hoped that a Domme will mold me to be all that I can be as a slave.... just as i was molded to be a marine

He can not promise that someone won't be disappointed... disappointment is part of the growing process..it is a benchmark for growth.

quote:

This needs to go..."I promise you won't be disappointed in my willingness and desire to serve and please you. I'm ultimately looking to serve in a 24/7 relationship, but I am open to casual play as well. Let me prove to you that I am sincere in my submissiveness, and sincere in my desire to treat you like the Goddess you are. I am for real and will prove to you that I am


He should say.. while i seek a eventual 24/7 relationship, i realize that it takes time to find the right match

The other area is the casual play is ok.. if your serious about seeking.. then be willing to wait for the right person.. play can be found with a fair amount of ease.. munches, clubs.. friends.. The term casual play makes you sound a bit desperate and lessens the sincerity of your quest.



SternMistress -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/26/2004 6:52:15 AM)

Having read just the parts quoted by Sylverdawn, IMO, your profile is probably too detailed and intense.
I get lots of emails which are very similar in nature and although I understand a subs need to serve, I'm put off by intense promises to serve Me when the sub has seen nothing of me but a short profile and a few pictures. It makes me think that the sub has the focus on his/her need to serve and not much focus on finding the right Dom/me.
The intensity of serving, in reality cannot come all at once.
BDSM relationships are like any vanilla, there should be growth, development, communication built around things you have in common, including BDSM.
Another thing I am always made wary of, is the declaration that you are a masochist, especially given that you were in a vanilla relationship till 2002. I've met a few self declared masochists in my Pro sessions who tell me this as some way of impressing me and then go on to use the 'yellow' word a long time before some of those clients who are not masochists.
If you are looking for eventual 24/7 slavery, that's great, but try and show that you are aware that relationships of this nature don't happen overnight, rather that making it look like you will throw yourself into a 24/7 with anyone who just happens to come along.



stormiKnightBEAR -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/26/2004 11:35:40 AM)

Please forgive this girl for responding on the Mistress page.

One thing you might remember is that sometimes you have to just give up and LIVE!

stormi did this.... had resigned herself to being "alone" tho there were many play
partners <NO NOT SEXUAL>."

Then one day.... a friend introduced stormi to her husband. Being totally intimidated by
Him, stormi did a good job of keeping lots of footage between them. Then one day stormi
and He talked....... Master and stormi are now about to celebrate the 1 yr anniversary of the
ko'laring ceremony. All of this because stormi had a good friend that was accepting enough of
stormi to share her life, her marriage, and the man of HER dreams with stormi. How lucky
could stormi be??? See ... things do happen in time....

BTW, did stormi mention..... that friend.........her name is Sylverdawn.


In Leather,
stormi
white silk slave property of Master Bear



ShadeDiva -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/26/2004 6:12:50 PM)

I concur with Stern completely.

I get the same kinds of emails and IMs, daily.

It's too much in a rush and it's a red flag to me.

Basically you are verbally vomiting on someone. All that you said should be said over the course of time, like say a period of MONTHS - not in a single email, or 5 minutes of IMing.

You CAN'T promise to serve me when you do not have the slightest concept of who I am as a person, a woman, or a dominant. You *won't* really get that by watching me on boards or mailing lists or chat rooms - you'll get glimmers, yes, but that's not the same as really knowing someone.

Anyone that would offer to serve a complete stranger automatically will make themselves not someone I am interested in. I want a friend, and a complete mind, one that can keep up with me, sometimes go faster than mine, one that has wit, and humor, intelligence, spark, a desire to learn, live, gro, etc.

NONE of this can be shown or communicated to me in words or in a short course of time.

I don't call someone "friend" until I've known them at least 8 months or more. I certainly couldn't consider someone a submissive in less time than I'd call them friend, nor would I want to.

It comes off as being desperate self serving, and not really giving a damn WHO you serve at all, and frankly I like feeling I'm special - knowing that someone spewed shit at me in a single email that he has most likely sent to numerous others does NOT make me feel that he feels I am special or someone that he truly connects with, but rather that he feels I could *work* in his prewritten script as the leading lady role that he's going around trying to cast.

Thats how it comes across to me, so I dismiss them as being incompatible right from the start.

So maybe that's in part what they got from that as well?



MasterBarber -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/29/2004 6:58:17 PM)

Greetings Mistress, I have been submissive to females all my life.I several talents to choose from.I can do hair,makeup,nails,pedicures,facials,massge and a few other special services.So now why cant i find a Mistress.Im not gay or anything i just want a lady to serve.



Estring -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/29/2004 7:02:25 PM)

Your nick isn't cutting it. [:D]



Sinergy -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/29/2004 8:25:11 PM)

Hello,

From what I can determine from your profile and nickname, I suspect you are portraying yourself as too needy and more interested in your own experience as a slave. This may be my own opinion, but I derive a great deal of emotional satisfaction from Domming and Topping my partner, but I dont necessarily do it for her benefit, I have my own reasons for doing it. Being approached by somebody begging to serve me makes me immediately wonder "why" since she has no idea what serving me actually means; she doesnt know me from the next person in a blue name tag at a munch.

You also sound promiscuous as you want to be a slave to anybody willing to have you. The ones people covet are those they cannot easily have, imho. Perhaps spending more time being discriminating and spending your time finding out who the person is will work better for you.

Good luck,

Sinergy



ShadeDiva -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/31/2004 10:18:58 PM)

YUP!

I don't WANT someone just *anyone* could have - ugh!

I want someone special, rare, unique, and JUST as fucking goddamn picky as *I* am. LOL.

I'm a thousand times more interested in those that feel they need to filter out through the surplus of dominants out there, and someone that feels that for *them* to submit ... not just *any* old dominant will do, it has to be a special lady that they will submit to ... someone that will choose ME as much as I choose *them*.

That being said, I have NO problem being less picky about a regular casual play partner - but when it comes down to actual submission and submitting to me on the whole hardcore level - yeah I want the real deal the whole shebang, spiritual and deep and intense.

If they will submit to *any* dominant - I don't want em. They don't see themselves being special enough to have qualifications for the dominant they will submit to, so therefore, I won't see them as being special or rare either.

JMO.

~ShadeDiva



MistressDREAD -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/31/2004 11:24:30 PM)

UMMMMMMMMM MASTERBARBER???
Are You a Switch now?

MasterBarber
Charlotte, North Carolina
Male Dominant
Charlotte North Carolina



MistressKiss -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (5/31/2004 11:50:53 PM)

I agree completely. I couldn't get the profile to come up for some reason and am too tired to keep trying tonight...but the nickname bothers me as well. Insinuating that you are ready for a "4life" relationship is unrealistic to me and I would not look at the profile based on that. Maybe it's me, but it seems that so many submissive males think they are ready for a 24/7 relationship for life...again, seemingly as the 4 life implies. There is no way in hell to know that until a long relationship has passed and there have been many interchanges and compromises along the way. Bring some realism into the picture and you may have more success!! Good luck.



MistressDREAD -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/1/2004 6:28:59 AM)

His profile shows a Dominant Male Kiss
and one activly seeking subs and slaves
hence My question to start with.......



MistressDREAD -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/1/2004 8:14:55 AM)

ok so I could not resist and here are My findings:
quote:

From:
YourSlave4life
Dated:
6/1/04 6:09 AM
View YourSlave4life's profile
I need to serve and give myself
to a Domme, completely, mind,
body and soul. This isn't a
bedroom fantasy to me, its a
real desire and need to surrender
myself,for the right Domme the
word "no" will never be part
of my vocabulary. I'm ultimately
looking to serve in a 24/7
relationship.I am for real
and will prove to you that I am


I sent the boy a email stateing My interest
and here is what I got in return:
quote:

I'm sorry Ma'am I'm not in a
position to travel or relocate
at the moment...thank you anyway


HAHAHHAHA A slave WHOM PROFESSES
A NEED BUT WHEN IT IS OFFERED TURNS
IT DOWN POINT BLANK AND FOR WHAT
REASON?HE IS A ADULT WHOM CANNOT
MOVE WELL YOU ALL READ IT HERE FIRST.
DOESENT SOUND MUCH LIKE A slave
WILLING TO COMMIT 24/7 TO ME, NOR
DID he GIVE ME THE REASONS FOR NOT
BEING ABLE TO RELOCATE OR TRAVEL OR
TO SEE IF I CAN WORK OUT A WAY AS
THE DOMINANT TO GAIN him ACCESS.
he PROVED TO ME he IS NOT READY
TO SURRENDER ANYTHING FOR A 24/7.
THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST CLUE AS
TO WHY he CANNOT FIND SERVITUDE.
ITS ALL ABOUT his needs first NOT
ABOUT WHAT IT SHOULD BE ABOUT.
JMO



MizSuz -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/1/2004 6:06:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourSlave4life

Hello to All,
I write to so many Dommes and rarely ever get a respone. I am very sincere in my desire to become someones property but I can't figure out why noone writes me back especially since I don't write 1 or 2 line emails. I write long informative emails. I was wondering if maybe there is something wrong in how my profile is wriiten...Could some please help me figure this out...I need to serve.....
Respectfully,
Michael



Your profile is fine.

Start going to munches, parties, demos, workshops, etc. Meat-life, as SherriA calls it. You're within driving distance of a number of groups (although not a short drive). You're certainly within driving distance of the occasional jaunt to NYC.

Think of the computer as a tool to help you keep in communication with people you've met. Any other 'connection' you may make on the computer is best left to luck and it's natural progression, rather than an active online exclusively search. Don't get me wrong, it's possible to meet great people online, but if you're using online as your only tool you are handicapping yourself considerably.

For example, I probably would never cultivate a one-on-one, online, getting-to-know-you interaction with you. It's quite possible that you could catch my attention at a munch, party, whatever and engage me in face-to-face, however.



Sinergy -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/1/2004 7:22:42 PM)

quote:

I'm a thousand times more interested in those that feel they need to filter out through the surplus of dominants out there, and someone that feels that for *them* to submit ... not just *any* old dominant will do, it has to be a special lady that they will submit to ... someone that will choose ME as much as I choose *them*.


Part of it with me is that many of the submissives I have encountered seem to have issues with the fact that I tend to be polite, respectful, and completely goofy.

Apparently such behavior is not Domly enough for them. I dont say anything.

Sinergy



MistressKiss -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/1/2004 8:20:13 PM)

Completely goofy fits right in with my requirements.....LOLOL

[image]local://upfiles/10574/D4A549832AE94A43915826E7A0E50FE4.gif[/image]



Sinergy -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/1/2004 9:58:27 PM)

quote:

Completely goofy fits right in with my requirements.....LOLOL


But I suspect the fact that we both wear blue name tags at munches means there is an impedance mismatch somewhere.

Sinergy



ShadeDiva -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/1/2004 10:29:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
Part of it with me is that many of the submissives I have encountered seem to have issues with the fact that I tend to be polite, respectful, and completely goofy.

Yanno that is a large part of what attracted me to my SO.

His sense of humour, his ability to enjoy smartassed comments made from a sense of pure fun and the fact that the loophole game was something he enjoyed beating me at LOL. I am SUCH the Loophole Queen LOL. If he didn't have such a sense of irreverence, and the ability to see the fun and humour at being human, we'd never have worked LOL.

I couldn't hang with a serious alla time person - I'd drive em wacko. Wait, I do that to the wackos too though. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. LOL!

~ShadeDiva



MistressKiss -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/2/2004 4:27:35 PM)

Impudent? ME? (laughs...just kidding)

I'm a switch, Sinergy. I suppose that explains why I am sweet and a smart-ass at the same time.

grinssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[image]local://upfiles/10574/AA714457D21D4F669BE7072A878010F5.gif[/image]



TiffanySlave -> RE: why can't I find a Mistress to serve? (6/2/2004 6:47:28 PM)

I tried to bring up the profile and nothing comes up. I guess he took it out?



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