N4SDChastity -> RE: Effective Communication (4/22/2007 6:39:44 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Elegant Characteristics Of Bad Communications During Arguments 1. Truth: Insisting that you are "right" and the other person is "wrong". 2. Blame: Saying that the problem is the other person's fault. 3. Martydom: Claiming that you're an innocent victim. 4. Put-down:Implying that the other person is a loser because he or she "always" or "never" does certain things. 5. Hopelessness: Giving up and insisting that there is no point in trying. 6. Demandingness:Insisting that you ar entitled to better treatment but you refuse to ask for what you want in a direct, straightforward way. 7. Denial: Insisting that you don't feel angry, hurt, or sad when you really do. 8. Passive Aggression: Pouting, withdrawing or saying nothing. Or, storming out of the room, hitting intimate objects or slam doors. 9. Self-blame: Instead of dealing with the problem, acting as if you're an awful, terrible person. 10. Helping: Instead of hearing how depressed, hurt, or angry the other person feels, you try to "solve the problem" or "help" him or her. 11. Sarcasm: Your words or tone of voice convey tension or hostility which you aren't openly acknowledging. 12. Scapegoating: Suggesting that the other person has "a problem" and that you're sane, happy, and uninvolved in the conflict. 13. Defensiveness: Refusal to admit any wrong-doing or imperfection. 14. Counterattack: Instead of acknowledging how the other person feels, you respond to their criticism by critizing them. 15. Diversion: Instead of dealing with how you both feel in the here-and-now, you list grievances about past injustices. [:D]Some of these suggestions are EXCELLENT!!! Mind if I "borrow" a few, next time I'm losing an arguument?[:D]
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