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The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 8:51:44 AM

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Male submissives - have you ever initiated the first kiss on a romantic level with a woman, or does it feel inappropriate and awkward?

Femdoms - do you prefer to initiate the first kiss, or do you like a man to do it? (for the sake of this conversation, assume there's no "mutual initiation" option. Sometimes in dating, it's clearly a situation where one person has to make a move and get it over with).

I'm interested in femsub/maledom comments on this well.

Akasha

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 8:53:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Male submissives - have you ever initiated the first kiss on a romantic level with a woman, or does it feel inappropriate and awkward?

I've never been with one that did, but I'm fine either way as long as we've already been on one date. If I'm not ready or don't want it, I'll let them know.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 8:57:04 AM

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Who initiates? If I am drawn to her I take her.... I've so far, never misread that she wanted to be taken

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 8:59:32 AM

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In various relationships sometimes I was kissed, sometimes I kissed first. I know that by the time Valyraen and I were flirting I was sick of making the first move and I decided that either he would kiss me or he wouldn't. He did.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 9:03:48 AM

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In my present relationship we both sort of went at each other the first time, but in past ones I have had it go either way.

~Lashra

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 9:17:04 AM

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I think it was mutual, but you're on to something about there being a bit of confusion involved. Probably on both sides, because let's face it; the concept that males chase females is pretty deeply ingrained. And you can't exactly discuss this before it happens since it's romance. I guess it's like anything else in the realm of love. You just have to go with the flow!

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 9:18:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Male submissives - have you ever initiated the first kiss on a romantic level with a woman, or does it feel inappropriate and awkward?

Femdoms - do you prefer to initiate the first kiss, or do you like a man to do it? (for the sake of this conversation, assume there's no "mutual initiation" option. Sometimes in dating, it's clearly a situation where one person has to make a move and get it over with).

I'm interested in femsub/maledom comments on this well.

Akasha

Ok this may seem funny but both Tom and Fox initiated the first kiss with me by asking my permission first.

For Tom it was "May I kiss you? I think I really want to kiss you."

For Fox it was "Would you please kiss me?"

I suppose that tells you alot about my relationships with them.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 9:19:52 AM

vield

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Whether as a male dom with female sub, or as a male sub with female dom, the initiation of hugs and/or casual kisses can be by either.

Of course with new people or people I am not closely connected with, when I am with a woman I feel submissive to, I crave to have her make the first move. But due to the way N. Americans have been raised expecting the male to do the reaching out, I long ago learned that cravings do not get fulfilled very often unless I make my availability clearly known.

It is interesting that in my life, female subs seem more likely to reach out to a male dom than female doms are likely to reach out to a new sub.

When in a good serious relationship I feel it is important that all express their feelings openly. Then the dominant(s) decide what will occur.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 11:08:08 AM

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i have no problem at all initiating, and often have.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 11:13:16 AM

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I think that more important than the who is the when and where.

My former partner initiated the first kiss. He leaned over to kiss me while I was driving....and I promptly drove us right into a ditch!

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 11:56:18 AM

Casie

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I don't think it really matters. But I initiated the first kiss between Andy and I. Actaully the first time we met, We had been sitting and talking for a really long time he was in a recliner and I was trying to reach over him to grab my drink and fell in his lap. It seemed perfect. We've been inseperable since.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 12:11:33 PM

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He did... he asked if he could get a kiss.... and I said yes... <giggles>

kittin

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 1:14:14 PM

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I do. I just love the look on their face when I reach out and pull them close and then just hover right over their lips or face before I make contact. Makes me all happy inside lol.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 1:36:30 PM

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I've never been able to take the first kiss, or even ask for it...I generally don't make 'first moves' ever. I always feel as though I'm assuming liberties that have yet to be granted. I don't know if that has anything to do with my submissive nature or not, but I've always been this way, even before I discovered my submissive side. I absolutely love it when she makes the first move. *smiles*

-Einzelgänger

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 1:52:59 PM

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Ah...our first kiss. I remember it so well. We had just finished playing at a dungeon in Philly, it was our first "date", first "scene" and turned out to be our first cuddly night together too. He was naked and straddling my lap (I was on the couch) and this look in his eyes as he gazed down into mine was just too much. I reached up and pulled his head down till our lips were locked but as soon as I began to innitiate he was already following so I didn't have to really pull him at all. I definitely had to be the one to initiate the relationship but as with the kiss, as soon as I started, he followed suit. I tend to like subs to be on the passive side, as I like to be the active partner, at least most of time. Once I know someone well enough though, there's certainly a charm to be had in letting him innitiate. But I'd rather that come later when he is certain he knows what I want. My pet peeve: when a boy takes the initiative and it actually wasn't what I wanted at all.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 1:57:22 PM

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I like for the male sub to make the first move... so I can tell him no.

Denial ranks very high on many check lists... right?

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 2:22:10 PM

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Try not to let it throw you on the first kiss. Some of us Dom/me types enjoy it when somebody takes the initiative to kiss us. It's often a clear sign that you are really into wanting to be with us. If anything deal with any awkwardness after the kiss instead of before the kiss. If the Dom/me does not enjoy it then it's her issue not yours. Unless she's flat out right told you not to try to kiss her, then it's fair game. If she tells you after the kiss or kissing attempt to not do it, or never do it again. Then you have a clear rule to follow. If she loves it, she'll tell you. Perhaps she'll say WOW, do that again. Perhaps Wow, that she loved it but wants you to ask permission first. Hell, just do it... then go by her reaction and what she expresses. At least, if anything she'll have the chance at setting a ground rule down. It will be clear in her mind that you are really interested in her on a physical level. Just be prepared for what might happen, she might want to take control of you! Call it a micro form of submission, where she'll feel more comfortable about exerting herself with you.

You could always look her deep in her eyes, and tell her you feel like kissing her. See what she says or does about that. This is a safe way of approaching it.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 2:35:59 PM

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From a male Dom perspective,

there have been times when I was slow to make a move that I drove a girl crazy until she snapped and lost her mind. Until she broke down and made the first move. Amazing Experience!

There have been times when I knew it was all up to me, that I had to make the first move.   Just pull the chord and jump right in after it. Because I wanted to. Being vocal about it too. The forceful taking a kiss move, where she can pull out at the last minute or not.. call it the slow forceful kiss.

I have even gone so far to simply look at somebody, and tell them how badly I wanted to kiss them, taste their lips upon my mine and etc.. You know being vocal in the same manner people use to cybersex with on another. While looking and smiling at them. Can be really fun if she's a bit of a smart ass with a sense of humor.   A little vocal back and fouth play, teasing and suggestive remarks leading up to the moment.   It's not really asking for permission, more like playing the What if Game...

Then there have been moments, where I've just sensed the right moment... a split second window to do or not to do... Amazing as well..

God I know I'm sounding like a real slut or whore right now.   I tend to do a lot of flirting and even enjoy snagging kisses and hugs or being affectionate in general.   Hugs and kisses, many people love 'em you'd be suprised.

One quick rule of advice!  Don't be all over her trying to man handle her if or when you do kiss her for the first time. Keep to just the kiss and the kiss alone. You can kiss somebody without trying to molest them to death. If they want more, you will be able to tell or not. LOL... At least you should be.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 3:56:19 PM

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considering that in the past two relationships I've been in, both times I've asked them if they wanted to go make out, so I don't have a problem with initiating...I guess because I wanted to avoid that very same awkward situation.

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RE: The first kiss - who initiates? - 4/26/2007 4:26:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Male submissives - have you ever initiated the first kiss on a romantic level with a woman, or does it feel inappropriate and awkward?

Femdoms - do you prefer to initiate the first kiss, or do you like a man to do it? (for the sake of this conversation, assume there's no "mutual initiation" option. Sometimes in dating, it's clearly a situation where one person has to make a move and get it over with).

I'm interested in femsub/maledom comments on this well.

Akasha

Ok this may seem funny but both Tom and Fox initiated the first kiss with me by asking my permission first.

For Tom it was "May I kiss you? I think I really want to kiss you."

For Fox it was "Would you please kiss me?"

I suppose that tells you alot about my relationships with them.

I'll read the rest of the board in a second, but to Me, this didn't seem funny at all. With each of My subs (past) they have asked permission to kiss Me first. Not funny, but the memory sure did put a smile on My face.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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