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RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 2:07:42 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UntamedStar

I am enjoying getting to know a Dom who i like very much so  far... but i have a question...
Is it ok to be told that you are to be Bi while under his rules etc? As a new, straight sub to date, i wondered if this is ok? He has explained that this is because he knows i will be out of my comfort zone and that he feels i need pushing (I can be bratty! lol) any feedback would be useful  Ta x

Well, if it does not bother YOU to be told such things, then I would not worry about it.

However, I don't believe you can be forced to be something that you are not. You can have sex with another woman, but that does not make you bisexual.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 2:12:57 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		You can not be 'turned into ' a bisexual woman.  No more than Ted Haggert could be sent to a three month counceling session and laying on of hands and be 'de-gayed'.  Your sexuality is something that is innate and natural to you.

You can be forced or submit to performing sexual acts upon those of your own gender, but it does not change your natural proclivity.

Anyway.. good luck with it.

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 2:29:28 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		{fast reply}

So... it seems not one person has any thoughts on this third person.

so long as he gets his kicks on watching the girls go at it & the OP gets to experiment, I guess this third is something to be used, completely disposable & should just be cast aside as used goods. The OP already she should be "less desirable" than she.

<shakes head>



_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 5:28:25 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

{fast reply}

So... it seems not one person has any thoughts on this third person.

so long as he gets his kicks on watching the girls go at it & the OP gets to experiment, I guess this third is something to be used, completely disposable & should just be cast aside as used goods. The OP already she should be "less desirable" than she.

<shakes head>


Not to rain here, Mstrss P...but from what the OP said in her very first post, I have the feeling that the girl intended to be the third in this scene is probably well aware of what is planned by this dominant and may have already been approached by him long ago.  It didn't come across ...to me anyway...as her being in the same boat as the OP. 

But to be sure...perhaps the OP will clarify as to what the other girl's role in this is:  is the other girl aware of what is going on and has she agreed to it?  What is her relationship to the dominant?  What experience does she have...a great deal?  or is she a newcomer also?  (God, the weird visions of two people who are new- to -same-sex situations interacting does that conjure up).  Is she gay?  bi?  being forced by her dominant to participate? 

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 6:41:20 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		See, I think this is ok with a few people if they have this attitude.  You are ok with trying it, so it might work out for you.  You are willing to take that chance because you want to do it for him, and lots of people do it for that reason. 
It would not be acceptable for me in any circumstance.  No part of me wants to come that close to a female, ever.  I am not normally a violent woman, but should someone try to force it on me, I am more than capable of allowing my evil side to come out in full force.
For some of us, this forced Bi stuff is a deal breaker.
But if you have the stuff to indulge his needs, go for it!
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: UntamedStar

and i like the fact i would be doing it purely for him.... I think im just scared...I mean i can probably kiss a woman and may even do breasts...but as for the dangly bacon bit......im scared!


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 6:47:58 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I was so squicked by my own reaction to the Bi thing I didn't even consider the third party.
TOO TRUE!  What about that third?  Maybe it would be better for all involved to hire one for the evening.  Just be sure that they are clean.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

{fast reply}

So... it seems not one person has any thoughts on this third person.

<shakes head>




_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 6:53:00 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UntamedStar

..but as for the dangly bacon bit......im scared!


At least it can't choke you like a cock

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 6:59:22 PM   
gothicdiva


Posts: 111
Joined: 2/16/2005
Status: offline 		Only you can decide for yourself if this is something you want to do. If it's truly something you are uncomfortable with or feel that you have to be "forced" to do, you need to be upfront with your Master. Even if I were "submissive," I would not ALLOW someone to force me to do anything period. As a dominant female, I also would never "force" someone to perform sexual acts on someone of the same or opposite sex if I knew that they were not totally comfortable with it. That's one boundary I would not cross. Then again, there are some men out there that will DO ANYTHING to get to be a party to "girl-on-girl" action. I don't know your Master, so I do not know his motivations. However, I do know older men that join the lifestyle and label themselves "dominants" so they can have their way with attractive young girls and make them unwitting participants in the sort of activities you have described. But, that's a WHOLE other thread in itself! Good luck to you!


< Message edited by gothicdiva -- 5/1/2007 7:01:19 PM >

(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 7:17:52 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UntamedStar

oooo i never thought of that! I might prefer women..... it would be a nice twist to my life, but i doubt it. I really get off on turning the man on..... I will be scared but il feel like iv ticked something of my list of things to do before i hit 40!
Its just really really hard to imagine going down a woman (to be blunt) although i enjoy watching men with each other.... ohhh this is going to drive me mad! Iv always wondered but more and more people seem to be trying it.... sorry im waffling now


Oh my goodness...you are cracking me up. I was going through all these thoughts just two months ago, and then i went for it. Slowly. Advice for you since the idea is new to you and that you don't know exactly your limits ....

1. Don't do friends.
2. Take it slow, and probably with someone who has already done it before.
3. And evaluate how you felt about it afterwards on a level head.

Things to remember....if turning on your Dom is something you love to do, this would be one big way of doing it. I don't know why, but  turning on my Dom and turning on a woman is just completely erotic. :)

(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 7:22:11 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Being bi to me isnt just a decision I came up with one day. I am attracted  to women and men. I also enjoy being with both sexually. You can be told to be with another woman but this isn't the same as being bi. Being bi for me is the physcial , emotional attraction and desire I have to both sexes.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/1/2007 7:59:37 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

No more than Ted Haggert could be sent to a three month counceling session and laying on of hands and be 'de-gayed'. 


De-gayed. ~having a wonderful chuckle~ Thanks for that.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/2/2007 6:32:11 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		OK I'm coming in late and have only read the original post.

I too was a Bi virgin before I got involved in BDSM.
While I find a womans body beautiful, I'm not sexually attracted to women.
My first Sir ordered me to in total in 1-1/2 years to go down on 3 different women.
The first time I was totally ready to be grossed out.
I just imagined once a woman was wet it would be all slimy much like licking a slug.
What I found is the sensation of giving a woman head is much like licking between your fingers. It's just clean (if you're lucky like I was in 2 out of 3 of the experiences) skin and not slimy at all.
Since then I'm not Bi phobic any longer, but I'm still just not turned on by it at all.
For me the thing that made me willing to follow the order to perform was it came after I was owned and in a training collar.
As I'd chosen to submit my will and body to this guy I felt obligated to honor the commitment I'd already made and comply as a good sub should.
Your situation is different in the notion you're just considering this man.
If your fear of female contact prevents you from being able to do this without emotional damage behind it I'd recommend you explaining this is a hard limit you will not budge on.
If it's you're like me and just imagining it's nasty, slimy and yucky I'd say open your mind, give it a try and grow from your new experiences.

For me now I'd be willing to have Bi contact under a Dom I'm submitting to's instructions, but without a man desiring it of me I'd just rather not as I'm not able to get emotionally attached to a woman like I can a man.
The funny thing is prior to doing a girl I never had any fantasies involving another woman.
Now I catch myself wondering what it would be like to be fisted and fist a woman at the same time.
That fantasy being in my head makes me wonder if since I opened my mind and tried it I may be working on being more open to girls in my future.
suzanne

(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/2/2007 7:00:45 AM   
cassie


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		hi, just thought i'd put in my tuppence worth if that's ok.
i always identified as a gay man unti recently a Master enforced bisexuality on me by bringing me to meet a Mistress.
i was very tentative at first, but now there's is no looking back nor no wanting to look back
whist still remaining passive [i.e. i don't penetrate men nor women] it has opened up new brilliant joys to me orally, so much so that the Master is now talking about getting my tongue pierced to improve my performance.....
i think maybe [just maybe] we move thru our various sexualities as we get older?
dunno, just thoughts?


(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/2/2007 9:26:57 AM   
UntamedStar


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/3/2006
Status: offline 		I think all your posts have been great! I will certainly enjoy this new chapter in my life, and try anything once..i think...lol

(in reply to cassie)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/2/2007 10:03:35 AM   
MsCara


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/26/2004
Status: offline 		okay .. so I think all women are straight .. until they aren't.  <grins> ~~~  go ahead shoot me. 
C.

(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/2/2007 6:33:59 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:




Lost another one to Dyke-tec


That is wrong on so many levels....but oh so funny!

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I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/2/2007 7:03:46 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		If you have submitted to Him and having you perform whatever acts He chooses with whatever gender He chooses is within the consent and not breaching His duty of care.... Then... it is well within the scope of WIITWD and is OK in that sense.

You can't really choose your sexual orientation it is what it is. Maybe you will find out once you have experienced that you maybe are bi, maybe not.... but that isn't something you can just be told to change, you will either discover it has changed or not. But you'll submit and do your best to obay His instructions in the actions taken anyhow because it is for Him.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/3/2007 10:00:48 PM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		If i am understand this right then yes the dom as every right to require his slave to be Bi
forced bi is one thing
But its up to you if you choose to take it to that lever you have the control to say no but that might take the chance of being let go

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/4/2007 5:26:29 AM   
sting516


Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline 		Just an observation here...it's good to see one forced thread not have the argument about whether something is really forced or not...had this been posted on the ask a mistress forum, there would have likely been all sorts of debate about the definition of forced.

That said, Untamed, i hope you're happy with whatever decision you make on this...only you can answer if this is something you can do.

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Being told to be Bi? - 5/4/2007 7:07:56 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I wonder how he would feel if the situation were reversed.  One thing I find objectionable in this practice is the total lack of knowledge about human sexuality.  I bet he believes male homosexuality can be "cured".  Do what your heart tells you. 
 
As Janice Joplin said "Don't compromise yourself, you're all you got". 


(in reply to UntamedStar)
Profile   Post #: 60
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