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RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 5:09:21 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feylin


(and I think that "Drama Whore" pic/icon/whatever is hysterical, LotusSong)




Wait until you see my new Icon coming up :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to feylin)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 5:19:06 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

I would argue against your point on the grounds that either:
-you're misapplying the "there's a time and a place" concept, or..
-I disagree with your intereptation of the said phrase.

Honsety, to me, is absolute.  A blind stranger on the street can give me one billion dollars to hold for him for a day.  He can count on me returning it to him, despite his lack of recourse (due to having no idea who I am or how to find me).

In my relationships, I expect the truth.  I have no reason to doubt my slaves in anything because of this.

In the past year, I've had over ten slaves.  This is a shameful number, considering I've only retained one.  It's not too hard to explain in simply saying that I disown them over lies.

I see lies as flaws in a system.  The ability to lie to and chance to be lied to seperate people, preventing a collective conscience from forming uncontestedly.  My slaves and close friends are partically part of me.  I suffer no lies from those I hold close or in respect- whether this respect be admiration or acknowledgement of an equal.


ok- picture this. a car accident- or a motion picture. 3 people seen it. but all seen it abit differently.

this reminds me of the unclaimed bicycle experiment. if it appeared no one owned it - it was stolen.-- well that can apply to many parts of life.

1 out of 10 is rather pessimistic outcome. a bigtime axe murderer can convince someone he is trustworty.  [or that female prositute that murderred truckers in florida]

it seems we are drifting from honesty to baggage. if someone puts no games in their ad- i think here we go. no games means the person has a hard time gettingh along with others.

the larger picture is deception. if someone expects no baggage- thats a tall order- so it comes convenient not to delve into it.

certainly there are degrees of deception- some more serious then others.

consider yourself a mirror- what reflects back at you- could very well be the vibes YOU are putting out.  how do they say- you reap what you sow.

if someone is important in my life then of course they get a greater degree of honesty- then say a busy body who is out to stir up trouble.

not everyone-personalitywise can get along with everone- tho we do have to share the planet.

one thing- if on a 1st date the person talks too much of how the ex ruined their life- llok out- as you could be the next ex.
it is laying the groundwork to be a victem.

some thrive on rescuing victems- and some are perpetual victems.

if i asked you did u ever steal and you told me no. i wouldnt believe it, chances are you walked away from a place with their pen. whoopzy

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 5:26:40 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I've learned.. some things just don't NEED to be known.



If someone is totally honest all of the time they would never have a relationship lasting more than five minutes.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 5:30:30 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

If someone is totally honest all of the time they would never have a relationship lasting more than five minutes.


With all due respect meatcleaver, neither would anyone that finds the need to lie out of convenience. Liars are always caught out. Once trust is gone, there isn't much basis for a relationship. Again, JMO.



_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 5:52:53 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I must confess, I find following your language and identifying solid points in this post to be more difficult than one might be inclined to pursue.  When responding to specifically me, if at all possible, I feel it would probably help to use either Common, English, or Englaunge grammar and syntax.  This isn't to be cruel or condescending, I'm just unacustomed to your typing style and thought organization.

I believe you were saying that the truth can be hard to bear and people may carry adverse reactions to it.

I am of the opinion that an individual should be realistic and understand the how thing work, acting appropriately.

One day, I will have kids.  Kids masturbate.  I'm going to sit down with them at whatever age I feel is appropriate- something I'll need to do research on closer to such a time- and talk to them about sexuality.

The fact that one's adorable little daughter or all-star elementary-school son touches themself at nights might not be so easy to accept for some.  To me, though, it's reality.  I will accept it.


This said, as a bit of an off topic that comes to the minds of many when discussing honesty and unpleasant truths, is that accepting a truth can feel like surrendering to the nature of that truth.  Accepting a kid masturbates isn't going to go make him wack off more.  Accepting you have cancer isn't going to have it spread through your body faster.  Accepting you're in a dead-end job isn't going to make your job suck more.  It will only affect your perception.

If you are an individual capable of handling one's self, despite knowing something unpleasant, the truth will only help you.
If you are an individual who will be strongly enough affected by negative emotions as to act or feel in a manner determental to this individual's own self, I would argue that this individual has a major character flaw for which resolution would be sought.

It is not my intent to posture nor to sound arrogant, though I feel compelled to comment it seems to me that most responses so far have been of the experience that the emotional displeasure resultant from unpleasant truths is greater than coupled ability to act more knowledgably and increased understanding which also acompanies such things.
To state an opinion, I find this regretful.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 5:55:52 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer complete 100% honesty. If I don't want the answer, I simply won't ask the question.

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to feylin)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 6:02:36 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Sometimes I don't think it's a good thing. Have you insisted your partner (slave/or dom/mme) tell you the ABSOLUTE truth about something and they did.. and you wish you never asked because of what you were told?
 
Now I'm not talking about a relationship issue.. I mean. like "what actually did you DO at the strip club"
 
I've learned.. some things just don't NEED to be known.


I would never go to a strip club....It debases women....foists upon them the demagoguery of a male dominated society.  It horrifies me to think my impure actions could cause such a thing to be continued solely because I was, in part, funding such a thing.

(Unless of course I had a spare 200 bucks to blow...then things would be entirely different).

< Message edited by Griswold -- 5/2/2007 6:16:15 PM >

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 6:55:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Sometimes I don't think it's a good thing. Have you insisted your partner (slave/or dom/mme) tell you the ABSOLUTE truth about something and they did.. and you wish you never asked because of what you were told?
 
Now I'm not talking about a relationship issue.. I mean. like "what actually did you DO at the strip club"
 
I've learned.. some things just don't NEED to be known.




I do not ask questions I do not want answers to. I learned that long ago

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 6:58:07 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Absolute honesty works better in theory. As Angel's owner, I know if I ask him something, I will get the complete and honest truth. It is then that I have to learn what it is I want to know about and what I dont.  Assuming that he is doing as he is supposed to, if I dont want to know then I should know better than to ask.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 7:35:35 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

If someone is totally honest all of the time they would never have a relationship lasting more than five minutes.


With all due respect meatcleaver, neither would anyone that finds the need to lie out of convenience. Liars are always caught out. Once trust is gone, there isn't much basis for a relationship. Again, JMO.




True...But let us say that we are a couple...Me, your tall and handsome Dom...... You, my little cocksucking anal loving sub....Not too much of a stretch...Anywhooo we are in love. 

One night I fuck someone else....For whatever reason...But I'm confident that it was a just decision in that you probably were on the rag or something....

My choices to tell or not?....First off it is an isolated incident! What are the odds of you getting another period?

Why would I tell?  To relieve me of my sense of guilt? How weak is that?  Knowing full well, that being the vindictive bitch that you are, that all trust will be lost and our relationship may never be the same if not completely evaporate!  Is it not wiser to live with my guilt and take this "one-time" secret to the grave like my love of Striesand music?

Being capable of honesty is definitely a commendable trait...And yet far too often the truth is told out of a selfish motivation to unburden one of guilt without regards to the person it will be directly affecting.

But who am I kidding....Our love is so deep I would come home and explain of my transgression and you would immediately drop to your knees and beg to embrace the Domidong just to be able to find out what she tasted like...lol.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 5/2/2007 7:36:54 PM >

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 9:51:06 PM   
farglebargle


Posts: 10715
Joined: 6/15/2005
From: Albany, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite

one question many women should NEVER ask"

Q: " Do you think of other women while you're having sex with me?"



A: What??? You got someone in particular in mind?



_____________________________

It's not every generation that gets to watch a civilization fall. Looks like we're in for a hell of a show.

ברוך אתה, אדוני אלוקינו, ריבון העולמים, מי יוצר צמחים ריחניים

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 9:57:15 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Personally I rarely ask a question I'm not completely sure I want to know the answer about to begin with. That being said, I would much rather be "hurt" by a truth than a lie. In the end, at least I still have the ability to trust that person. JMO


I forget where I heard it recently, but I would rather be hurt with the truth than a lie, the truth only hurts once.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 11:38:09 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		juliaoceania,

Exactly, once the lie is found out trust is gone. There is always that little voice in the back of the brain whispering..."well they've lied before". As I said....I at least have the ability to continue to trust the other person. Whether I'm hurt by the truth or not is a personal choice to make at the time.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/2/2007 11:59:26 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

True...But let us say that we are a couple...Me, your tall and handsome Dom...... You, my little cocksucking anal loving sub....Not too much of a stretch...Anywhooo we are in love. 

Lmfao on that one! My your delusions just get better and better there darlin'.  

quote:

One night I fuck someone else....For whatever reason...But I'm confident that it was a just decision in that you probably were on the rag or something....

Dammit I guess that means we weren't CoDomming together. I'm hurt, really I am. Sometimes you're just so damned selfish...Didn't DomiMom ever teach you about sharing?  

quote:

My choices to tell or not?....First off it is an isolated incident! What are the odds of you getting another period?

I suppose you're assuming there's a choice prior to my strapping you to the chair and breaking out the tens unit. Fair enough, assume away.

quote:

Why would I tell?  To relieve me of my sense of guilt? How weak is that?
Either that or the tens unit on high might have a little something to do with it.  

quote:

Knowing full well, that being the vindictive bitch that you are,
Domidarling, you say that like it's a bad thing.

quote:

that all trust will be lost and our relationship may never be the same if not completely evaporate!  Is it not wiser to live with my guilt and take this "one-time" secret to the grave like my love of Striesand music?

It's Streisand but ok. I digress... the guilt will overwhelm you eventually due to your previously admitted deep love for me. Eventually the truth will come out. You'll slip up and then I'll eventually find out. Not only will the fact that you lied come out but that you continued to lie for whatever length of time prior to my finding out the truth. That's the problem with lies, they snowball. (no, not that kind of snowball, jeez get your brain out of the gutter for 2 minutes and pay attention.) One leads to another and on to another.

quote:

Being capable of honesty is definitely a commendable trait...And yet far too often the truth is told out of a selfish motivation to unburden one of guilt without regards to the person it will be directly affecting.
I will reiterate that I do not ask questions I am not fully prepared to have answered. We aren't talking a compulsive truth telling in a moment of unasuaged guilt. We're talking about telling the truth when specificly asked a direct question. If I don't want to know, because I don't care about the answer; then I'm not going to ask the question to begin with.

quote:

But who am I kidding....Our love is so deep I would come home and explain of my transgression and you would immediately drop to your knees and beg to embrace the Domidong just to be able to find out what she tasted like...lol.
Well at least that's what I'm going to tell you right before I pull out the 9 inch chef's knife. Who Me? Vindictive? Not in the least. It's ok though, I'll have it encased in a nice clear lucite dildo so you can still use it occasionally.
 
Love,
Lorena



_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/3/2007 12:23:23 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

I prefer complete 100% honesty. If I don't want the answer, I simply won't ask the question.


So you call not asking the questions to avoid the answers you don't want is 100% honest?

As I said, if someone is 100% honest the relationship won't last five minutes.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/3/2007 12:27:13 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

If someone is totally honest all of the time they would never have a relationship lasting more than five minutes.


With all due respect meatcleaver, neither would anyone that finds the need to lie out of convenience. Liars are always caught out. Once trust is gone, there isn't much basis for a relationship. Again, JMO.




You don't have to lie to be dishonest, you can just avoid the truth. I still maintain 100% honesty will shorten significantly any relationship.

Pardon me for being cynical but I've met people before who claim to be 100% honest and those that insist they are 100% honest tend to be anything but because they are dismissing their human frailty in a fantasy. Maybe they really do fool themselves into thinking they are so honest but my guess is they very rarely look in the mirror.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/3/2007 12:28:28 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

juliaoceania,

Exactly, once the lie is found out trust is gone. There is always that little voice in the back of the brain whispering..."well they've lied before". As I said....I at least have the ability to continue to trust the other person. Whether I'm hurt by the truth or not is a personal choice to make at the time.


one solid rule around this house is "always answer honestly".  my just-hit-adolescence imp doesnt understand why i refuse to trust him anymore.  gee.

another one is "dont ask the question unless you're positive you want the answer".  that one actually makes a person stop and think and ponder where the answer might lead you. 

kitten, who has come to appreciate the wisdom in sometimes keeping silent.

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/3/2007 12:53:36 AM   
Michaelat92544


Posts: 52
Joined: 8/21/2005
Status: offline 		I prefer total dishonesty, then I can whip the truth out of it, her, them.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/3/2007 1:05:53 AM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

You don't have to lie to be dishonest, you can just avoid the truth. I still maintain 100% honesty will shorten significantly any relationship.

Pardon me for being cynical but I've met people before who claim to be 100% honest and those that insist they are 100% honest tend to be anything but because they are dismissing their human frailty in a fantasy. Maybe they really do fool themselves into thinking they are so honest but my guess is they very rarely look in the mirror.



I'm not intending to debate you on this one meatcleaver I simply hold the opinion that the truth serves a higher purpose than a lie. It's my opinion, you have yours and that's fine. That's what makes us individuals. You have a right to have that opinion. I simply don't agree with it just as you don't agree with mine and that's fine too. There is no right or wrong...it simply is what it is.

My friends know that if they don't want an honest answer from me about something then they better not ask me the question. I am capable of being honest with tact. Personally I don't have a problem facing myself in the mirror. Perhaps it's just me but I don't find that lying serves any purpose.

As for human frailty...I'm not saying I've never made a mistake, of course I have. I'm perfectly capable of admitting to making them. I believe in being held accountable for my actions and facing the consequences of my mistakes. However, I've never found the sense in compounding a mistake by lying about it. I'm not being altruistic or naive. I simply don't see the sense in lying about something.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: About the Total Honesty Thing ... - 5/3/2007 1:08:54 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Curious Lord,
 
Please take into account that learning disabilities such as dyslexia are quite common
and some of the posters on CM have such difficulties with written communication. 
CM also has some regular posters whose first language is not English and reading
their posts takes a bit of patience.
 
Regards,
 

Vendaval

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord
I must confess, I find following your language and identifying solid points in this post to be more difficult than one might be inclined to pursue.  When responding to specifically me, if at all possible, I feel it would probably help to use either Common, English, or Englaunge grammar and syntax.  This isn't to be cruel or condescending, I'm just unacustomed to your typing style and thought organization.




(format edit)

< Message edited by Vendaval -- 5/3/2007 1:11:10 AM >

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 40
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