windchymes -> RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive (5/5/2007 1:26:39 PM)
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Sorry, but I need to hear what "finding fault with the trip" to London means. Just because someone complains about something doesn't mean they're not grateful. If her flight was full of turbulence, the food was bad, they lost her luggage, the cabbie was rude, she lost her wallet, etc., then I'd be complaining, too! Now...if by "complaining" she said to you, "You asshole, the flight you booked me on was terrible......" then yeah, that's ungrateful. Now, if she showed up exhausted and jetlagged and said, "Wow, that was a long flight, and the turbulence was bad!", well, it's the truth and she was telling you why she's tired and dishevelled, not necessarily complaining. Like I said, I don't know the real story, just giving examples. Besides....who EVER goes on a trip and doesn't complain about the flight or the food or the jetlag or the rude locals??? In other words, if she blames you for her misfortunes in her "complaints", then she's ungrateful. But if something negative happens, and shit does happen, maybe she just needs to vent frustrations, it doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate the trip. It's sounding to me like you want her (or any sub) to just smile at you never complain or vent frustrations and say you're wonderful all the time. And what I'm starting to hear is you saying, "Look, I do all these wonderful things for her and look how she treats me!" I'm wondering if there are issues that you yourself have with insecurity and a need to be admired and lavished with praise? Which is fine.....but she doesn't sound like the sub who will do that. Neither do I. Back on the flower issue, sure, she probably received the flowers and ran to the phone and said, in your words, "ty, ty, ty".....etc. The flowers THEN probably started falling out of the vase, she tried to fix it, and then decided to have the florist fix it, and got a vase that the flowers wouldn't fall out of. I still don't hear "ungrateful" anywhere in there. I still think that "ungrateful" would be complaining about the flowers and doing nothing about it. It's like the old saying, "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want to be loved, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Are you subconsciously having cold feet or second thoughts and creating situations to justify them???
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