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RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 12:55:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos
Well we were IMing because we werent together,meaning not in the same house. Hence the need for IMing. We obviously dont IM each other when were together, why would we when we can just talk.

Well here's a tip- don't have serious relationship conversations in IMs, specially when you can do it in person at home together.

Seconded. And I hope you realize that this thread has in no way damaged your reputation and will not impede you from moving on.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 1:12:04 PM

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Joined: 1/9/2007
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In reading this thread, I have come to wonder a few things. The lack of logic applied in this situation would seem to suggest that either the OP is a bull-headed fool and still not willing to see the forest for the trees or there may be an underlying learning disability that he simply cannot, and is for what ever social engineering he lacks doing the best that he can with what he is given.

akbarb, I do not think the punishment or attempt at public humiliation was the most effective form of communicating one's wishes with a slave/sub. If boundaries are not set prior to such an "aggregious" act, then there is no use for a harsher than necessary punishment. I would suggest that a long, face to face discussion and additional parameters being set from that point on would have been the most beneficial to your stance as her master, and her acknowledgment that any further disobedience would not be tolerated, and that the punishment would be more severe. It is then up to you to follow through with said disciplinary actions.

Your ultimate goal should not be to "fear" love out of someone, but to foster, encourage, expect, and "will" it out of them. Her choice to be your slave is still her choice, with illogical, irrational, and inappropriate judgment towards her you only serves to foster ill will and disobedience and thus, a downward spiral you have created.

Granted, she still has the choice to disobey and deal with the consequences. This is where you two should take a healthy amount of time to discuss boundaries, actions and reactions.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 1:16:34 PM

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Okay, so maybe he really is, that brain dead, good gawd. Not thinking too highly of the sub/slave that would stay and serve such a fool either. They deserve one another!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ArtofWar)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 2:28:27 PM

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Joined: 8/5/2006
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Well, I'm a sub, not a slave (and late to the thread at that!), but I personally find it ridiculous that you would ask her to put the cousin of the man she's been with for 4 months over the birthday of her grandfather! Having had all my grandparents die in the last couple of years, I would give anything for another chance to celebrate one of their big days. A card just doesn't do it. I really don't think you should have put her in that position.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 3:27:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Frankly this couple reminds me of that couple that was in the New Orleans area that was on the boards some time ago.

They deserved each other.

SirSix72 and Belladonna, yeah wow. They worked far harder at proving how cool they were and defending eachother though.

yeah.. but no less dysfunctional

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 4:00:15 PM

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Joined: 5/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos

Hello everyone and thanks for all your posts and trying to help my Master sort things out and me as well, I have learned a lot from reading these posts. Unfortunately for Master and I were still at a loss, lol hard to believe I know. The problem i'm having with it is that I look at it as Master put his "want" above my "need". I trust Master to make my decisions for me, but what should one do in a situation like this? Master wanted to go to his cousins party so he could meet a lot of new people, I wanted to stay at my grandpas party because I wouldn’t have even seen him if I was to leave when Master wanted me to (due to miscommunication between my mom and myself), and I do worry that my grandpa wont make it much longer as he's 83 and not in good health. Master says I should do whatever he tells me to do when he tells me to do it and I agree for the most part, but I asked him what happens if what I do has some major repercussion for example what if I'm to go to court and you tell me I cant you want me at home, and then a cop shows up and arrests me because I didn’t show up. His response was well then I have to deal with my slave being in jail, but it’s my decision to make. I’m very confused by this I would want to trust that my Master wouldn’t put me in a situation like that, but then my Master says it’s his decision to make. What is one to do or think? I love serving my Master and I don’t want to stop serving him, but it looks like we want different things. And please I know what his profile says and yes I understand, but

He’s the Master I always dreamed of having but living the reality is a lot harder to adjust to than once imagined.

If things didn’t work out between Master and I I'm not sure what would happen I wouldn’t just go searching for another Master as I would have to reevaluate everything I've ever wanted and hoped for.

I'll just slip my 2.1 cents into here........
Sir would say....if I told him all of what you just wrote... "we are NOT compatible." I would agree.

Sir's girl

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to slaveofKaos)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 4:09:34 PM

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It must be fun to live your life out on a forum.

_____________________________

(in reply to shyinini)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 4:15:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Shaking my head, thinking nothing really has been learned, especially given a statement made by the OP in another thread about using a shock collar to make jodi agree, but then there are none so blind as those that will not see.

heartfelt

Ass meet Head, Head meet Ass

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 4:23:20 PM

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Frankly this couple reminds me of that couple that was in the New Orleans area that was on the boards some time ago.

They deserved each other.

SirSix72 and Belladonna, yeah wow. They worked far harder at proving how cool they were and defending eachother though.

yeah.. but no less dysfunctional

Were they more entertaining?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 4:23:55 PM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It must be fun to live your life out on a forum.

I have lost track of the number of relationships that have played themselves out on the board like this.

I just can't figure out what I think is worse.

The drama of it being played out on the boards.... or.... the fact that they can't see the train wreck that everyone else sees.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to domiguy)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:01:40 PM

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Joined: 12/19/2006
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In the words of Petruchio, as rendered in the BBC version, cluck...cluck...cluck...squaaaaawk!

Seriously, one man's train wreck is another man's...train salvage yard? Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for the next person. I realize that 50 people might not agree with what I identify as a mistake, but I don't live my life by committee. Suggestions were welcome as I was sorting things out, and now that time is done. If you can't figure out what mistake I made, that I learned, and publically acknowleged it, you may as well move on...or keep squawking. I did, that's why I posted about the obedience collar. Some things I rally for may not be Jodi's thing, but I can see what a charge she gets out of it no pun intended. So open the minds, or keep squawking it's up to you. It's fun to rally and rag on someone, and it's fun to rally and cheer someone, but have some individuality people.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:18:42 PM

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Joined: 12/19/2006
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I don't claim to be without flaws, but for some of the women out there, and the men advocating and yielding to social pressure you may be expecting this:
http://www.physorg.com/news102698342.html

This isn't about me doing what's right or wrong, this isn't just about what works in general, this is about what works for and is natural to me. Sorry to disappoint anyone, but unless I'm bundled up in my own fears, I'm not that whipped. An entire planet could tell me how wrong I am, and they aren't going to know, because they aren't me.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:25:07 PM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

, but have some individuality people.

psst... come closer... you not all that unique and that is the point...... you are actually rather predictable.

But hey.. I don't expect you to actually to accept that.. ... your predictable remember?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:26:23 PM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Were they more entertaining?

define "Entertaining"?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:27:12 PM

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Joined: 12/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ArtofWar
akbarb, I do not think the punishment or attempt at public humiliation was the most effective form of communicating one's wishes with a slave/sub.

Of course not! I pointed out that it was a flaw in my character that allowed me to do such a thing to begin with in the same post. Don't worry, I think it will work out, and if it doesn't, I will at least have been more true to myself.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to ArtofWar)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:30:58 PM

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

In the words of Petruchio, as rendered in the BBC version, cluck...cluck...cluck...squaaaaawk!

Seriously, one man's train wreck is another man's...train salvage yard? Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for the next person. I realize that 50 people might not agree with what I identify as a mistake, but I don't live my life by committee. Suggestions were welcome as I was sorting things out, and now that time is done. If you can't figure out what mistake I made, that I learned, and publically acknowleged it, you may as well move on...or keep squawking. I did, that's why I posted about the obedience collar. Some things I rally for may not be Jodi's thing, but I can see what a charge she gets out of it no pun intended. So open the minds, or keep squawking it's up to you. It's fun to rally and rag on someone, and it's fun to rally and cheer someone, but have some individuality people.

If this is the case why do we even have education? Why do we talk about this at all? Why do we try to delineate what is abusive and what isn't? (I believe abuse is anything that makes the acted on party feel shitty and downtrodden and fearful rather than liberated and peaceful and themselves and comfortable...hm- and I don't mean that that is always pretty to watch or easy for them to do, I'm talking about ends-based thinking) Why even ask anyone for an opinion if you are going to deride people for squawking and being oooo so hidebound and vanilla in comparison to your mighty Masterdom? Why does anyone care what anyone thinks, especially people who may have more experience than you do? People with seventeen years of it? (KoM, is that right?)

I so don't get it. I like to think Madrabbit is giving an opinion and not a synopsis, but...

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:32:37 PM

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

, but have some individuality people.

psst... come closer... you not all that unique and that is the point...... you are actually rather predictable.

But hey.. I don't expect you to actually to accept that.. ... your predictable remember?

Your Jedi mind tricks won't work on me, but they do give me a mild headache.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:36:33 PM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy

Why does anyone care what anyone thinks, especially people who may have more experience than you do? People with seventeen years of it? (KoM, is that right?)

yeah.. close enough... Alandra and I began our relationship in summer of 87. We married in the Summer of 90.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:45:45 PM

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

In the words of Petruchio, as rendered in the BBC version, cluck...cluck...cluck...squaaaaawk!

Seriously, one man's train wreck is another man's...train salvage yard? Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for the next person. I realize that 50 people might not agree with what I identify as a mistake, but I don't live my life by committee. Suggestions were welcome as I was sorting things out, and now that time is done. If you can't figure out what mistake I made, that I learned, and publically acknowleged it, you may as well move on...or keep squawking. I did, that's why I posted about the obedience collar. Some things I rally for may not be Jodi's thing, but I can see what a charge she gets out of it no pun intended. So open the minds, or keep squawking it's up to you. It's fun to rally and rag on someone, and it's fun to rally and cheer someone, but have some individuality people.

If this is the case why do we even have education? Why do we talk about this at all? Why do we try to delineate what is abusive and what isn't? (I believe abuse is anything that makes the acted on party feel shitty and downtrodden and fearful rather than liberated and peaceful and themselves and comfortable...hm- and I don't mean that that is always pretty to watch or easy for them to do, I'm talking about ends-based thinking) Why even ask anyone for an opinion if you are going to deride people for squawking and being oooo so hidebound and vanilla in comparison to your mighty Masterdom? Why does anyone care what anyone thinks, especially people who may have more experience than you do? People with seventeen years of it? (KoM, is that right?)

I so don't get it. I like to think Madrabbit is giving an opinion and not a synopsis, but...

Abuse is what every S&M club in the US hosts, which is why the police are kept out because they are required by law to throw your ass in jail if they witness "consentual S&M" or kink. "Oh that's not abuse", or "oh that's how you justify your abusiveness" is the response? It's not about justifying it, it's about how you define it. Only Jodi can define if she is being abused or not, neither you nor I have the godlike nature to make that sort of judgement better than she herself can with the possible exception of a trained therapist which I certainly would not keep her from seeing at any time (unless I had a b-day party to go to, wink wink). Oh, I well realize that those who are unhappy may stay in a relationship even though it is unhealthy, but I can tell you that if she is unhappy that will bother me too and if she didn't want therapy I'd insist somthing needed to be done.

There isn't anything special about me being Masterly or whatever. I do however think there is somthing special if 50 people say "we all agree you are wrong so you are an idiot if you value your own judgement above our consensus". I did mention that in all, the views of those on this thread, yours included helped me sort out my shit if you recall, but I in no way represented any claim to do what people told me to I simply considered many things and arrived at my conclusion.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

RE: Being loyal to your word - 7/12/2007 6:52:49 PM

Posts: 33
Joined: 12/20/2006
Status: offline

Look, people, 17 pages already? Isn't it time we just all accepted that being 'loyal to your word' is only important if you're too stupid to redefine what your words mean after the fact? Like, "I know I said I'd go to your stupid party, but what that really meant was I would consider going if nothing more pressing came up, surely you knew that, didn't you? Would you expect me to go to the party if I had broken my neck?! *accompanied with horrified look* I thought that was just logical common sense!"

This technique is a totally acceptable form of relationship warfare, so keep it at the ready, and use it often, combined, of course, with being prepared to punch someone in the stomach.

Remember, they're not prisoners of war if they're enemy combatants.

(in reply to akbarbarian)

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