LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004 Status: offline
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Dear Master 1825, Ladies and Gentlemen; I think there will be a lot of arguments to the positives and or negatives about "mentors." Personally, I think everybody directly and or indirectly 'inspires' individuals and or is accomidating to show techniques, skills and or sharing of their knowledge and I would say, that everybody mentors, even on Collarme.com in some form and or fashion. I do identify as a mentor, in my local community and enjoy watching those I have stood along side and given tips, new skills and knowledge to, grow from the foundations I help installed. I have filled the position of instructor, demonstrator and presenter as well. Each is a different 'slant' per se on teaching and inspiring others. Many times people have come to me after a scene has concluded and asked for advice on things like single tails, floggers, canes and the like. Which I find a delightful way to offer my findings, thoughts and roots to how I do things. I like to show how to save you money, as far as correcting a flaw in a piece of leather that has been braided into a flogger or realign a single tail so it will travel straighter, etc. In finding a mentor, I would look for someone who is practicing the skill/knowledge that conforms to your own personal tastes. I wouldn't expect you to be put into the position of 'submission' or in an embarrassing situation--especially in public. Feeling a tool isn't what I call submission but, understanding the sensation that can come from a particular item, e.g. canes, floggers and such. I would try finding someone who is not entrenched in one style, one way of doing things but, find someone who is multi-talented as to problem solve a certain technical issue in style/performance of what you're looking for as far as whip work mentoring. In life relationship mentoring, such as a Master-slave mentoring as far as a relationship goes-- I would look for someone who wishes to conduct their relationships in a similar style and or form; for example-- I am very protocol minded. I tend to link myself with active, inactive and or veterans of military service, to which practice a form of protocol that is familiar in the military and transposed 'loosely' into private Master-slave relationships. This might not work for some and yet, be exactly what some others seek. I would find someone to mentor you, who will be the utmost respectful to you and want to help you find your own style/way of Domination and or Sadism. I would find someone who does not put unreasonable conditions on you and or your slave(s). I would find someone to mentor you who will stick to the exact area you wish to be mentored on; e.g. whip skills, service, protocol, bondage, etc. I would find someone that will be discreet and always considerate of your privacy and safety. I would look for a mentor who is not sexually geared. I would look for a mentor who would be more willing to be at your side, not pulling you along and never give you a chance to practice, experiment and problem solve something and to tweak your technique as to make it perfect for you. I would not be blind to any opportunity to be mentored by younger and or older individuals, and those who fall in between. I would not be blind to the opportunity to be mentored by any gender and or gender preferenced individuals. I say this, because I have mentored more male Dominants then female Dominants. I would look for a mentor who is secure enough as to never sway you from learning from other mentors. I would not look for mentors who request, demand, expect and or assume they are to be paid and or compensated -- unless you broke their equipment and its just the right thing to do to replace it and or compensate someone, as to buy a replacement. My opinion of what a mentor's ethical behavior would be -- to never 'take over' your relationship but, be your most sincere cheerleader and supporter who won't quit on you when you feel like quitting. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs
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