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RE: Mentors - 1/31/2008 6:10:30 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: creatrix

okay, but I have a question...
so a Dom/Master would be mentored, but a sub/slave would be trained? or could a sub/slave have a mentor also?
yeah, obviously I haven't much experience... but just curious about this particular aspect of the lifestyle.
I have not seen reference to anything other than a sub/slave being trained only my their current Dom/Master.
thanks!

Yes, I think that both people can be mentored.

I see a mentorship as more informal, a situation of equals with one person having more knowledge that they are happy to share.

When I mentor I encourage the person to explore and pretty much let them set the pace and ask the initial questions while I provide examples from my life or ask them return questions to help them think. The only time I do something formal along those lines was a year when I had five people approach me as a potential mentor in the local community. I teamed up with another experienced top and we met with those folks once a month to do a sort of support group and look at particular skills. Lasted over 6 months because some folks got too busy and I kept talking to a few who were truly interested.

Training is more formal and usually is not between "equals".

When I train I have a program I follow though I do pay attention to the responses and interests and make adjustments.

Because of the differences I see, I personally think that people of close scene roles mentor while people with complimentary roles train. So as a top I train other tops but I'd train a bottom or frankly I'd just be their friend and not do much more than with any other friend.

Just my opinion and how it works in my part of the world.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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Post #: 21

RE: Mentors - 1/31/2008 6:38:29 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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I was guided and got lots of advice from slaves/subs when I was 16. Most Doms thought of me then as a kid and looked down at me.(don't blame them though)
Guess you could call it mentoring. IT can be good, I am not sure if it is always needed though.

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Post #: 22

RE: Mentors - 1/31/2008 10:24:56 AM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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I have actually had a few Mentors in my walk...this way.

It was a period in my life where I was exploring my submissive side etc...It was before I moved to a city to where a scene was and existed.

They were long distant, one was in another country...when she left a sister Domme in the states toook me in. It was thru emails and the phone. Not an avenue for just everyone. I was....willing and teachable.

I DO know...those were special relationshisp with me, and they let me know that once I was in a group, etc...and I choose to go on a path we\ith a mentor its ABOVE ALL...hands off...no such thing as being played with by and with your Mentor...

I shall never forget the time they gave me and the knowledge and wisdom they shared.

So, as some of the men have stated here,...there are some who are willing to Mentor females, the first sign to run is if and when they want to play with....you.

Some subs mentor subs...thats a GREAT way to go as well, I believe...listen to them, they have their experience to share...

Loooking for a Master to mentor me was not and has not been an easy search...I am not in an area where a scene exists now. BUT...if I move back to a city, that will be one of the first things I will be watching for and looking out for.

Can`t have to many *real*...friends.

Good luck.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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Post #: 23

RE: Mentors - 1/31/2008 10:36:07 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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ack, repeated post -- where is the delete button?

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 1/31/2008 10:38:38 AM >

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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Post #: 24

RE: Mentors - 1/31/2008 10:39:46 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

I was guided and got lots of advice from slaves/subs when I was 16. Most Doms thought of me then as a kid and looked down at me.(don't blame them though)
Guess you could call it mentoring. IT can be good, I am not sure if it is always needed though.

See, I see the general advice and exchange as information not as mentorship. I think mentorship is more purposeful than that.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Justme696)

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Post #: 25

RE: Mentors - 1/31/2008 10:59:03 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

I was guided and got lots of advice from slaves/subs when I was 16. Most Doms thought of me then as a kid and looked down at me.(don't blame them though)
Guess you could call it mentoring. IT can be good, I am not sure if it is always needed though.

See, I see the general advice and exchange as information not as mentorship. I think mentorship is more purposeful than that.

I don't know if it is more purpose full. Who can tell you more about slaves/subs then subs/slaves themselfs?
Ofcourse I listened to Dom(mes) also then..but seriously...lol (sorry for what I gonna say now) don't always like to hear their Wishdom.

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Post #: 26

RE: Mentors - 1/31/2008 11:24:45 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: creatrix

okay, but I have a question...
so a Dom/Master would be mentored, but a sub/slave would be trained? or could a sub/slave have a mentor also?
yeah, obviously I haven't much experience... but just curious about this particular aspect of the lifestyle.
I have not seen reference to anything other than a sub/slave being trained only my their current Dom/Master.
thanks!

A sub/slave can be mentored as well.

(in reply to creatrix)

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Post #: 27

RE: Mentors - 1/31/2008 11:29:17 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

I was guided and got lots of advice from slaves/subs when I was 16. Most Doms thought of me then as a kid and looked down at me.(don't blame them though)
Guess you could call it mentoring. IT can be good, I am not sure if it is always needed though.

See, I see the general advice and exchange as information not as mentorship. I think mentorship is more purposeful than that.

It
I don't know if it is more purpose full. Who can tell you more about slaves/subs then subs/slaves themselfs?
Ofcourse I listened to Dom(mes) also then..but seriously...lol (sorry for what I gonna say now) don't always like to hear their Wishdom.

By purposeful I mean that each of you know that X is mentoring you and you set aside time to talk about things and you have X as an official resources.

It has little to do with scene roles expect in relationship to the experiences you are sharing and exploring. When I found a bondage mentor I was interested in learning how to do bondage, not in how it felt to have it done to someone so I needed someone who was a bondage top and had done knots, used cuffs, etc and could talk to me about the concerns he had and that I might want to have as well as show me how to use bondage.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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Post #: 28

RE: Mentors - 2/11/2008 5:20:35 PM

Master1825

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/22/2008
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Ok time for me to update this post, thank you to everyone that has posted on here. My new update on this post is going to be about finding a mentor it is obvious that many people read these posts and check here often. I am very interested in finding a mentor to help me with my situation and would like to someone about teaching me many things about it, if anyone is interested please let me know and I would love to chat with anyone that can help. Once again thank you for all the help.

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Post #: 29