RE: "The Submissive lie"

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: "The Submissive lie"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: "The Submissive lie"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 12:06:53 PM

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

smiles, trust Me As, even when one likes being a Domina if feels pretty damn selfless, but that is suited for another thread!

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 1:45:53 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDoc1

Someone said that the POINT of submission is sometimes doing what you don't like; it is not submission if you only do what pleases you. I tend to agree with that.
Liking everything that you do (or getting "wet" from it) is NOT an essential component of submission.

However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy. Like Aqua's example of her turning domme. And that's patently ridiculous.

For me, the point of submission is allowing him to take the lead. That can be in simple things like deciding what flavor of ice cream or where to stop to eat. I'm happy following him because he doesn't sit around saying "I have to test her submission by making her eat a worm". If he was the sort of person who did things like that, then he wouldn't be someone who I respected enough to submit to. Doing things for no reason other than to deliberately make someone unhappy in order to see if she would do it, smells highly insecure to me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MasterDoc1)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 3:08:02 PM

Posts: 62
Joined: 4/24/2007
Status: offline

I like many do not enjoy housework or doing the dishes and things of that nature. Yet when I am at my Mistresses house I do anything thing that I can or see that needs to be done unless it is one of the kids chores. She hardly ever has to ask me to do these things for Her. When She does I dont groan or complain I just do as She has asked.
I know that a messy house drives Her up the wall so when ever I see a full ashtray or something that needs to be picked up I do it not because I enjoy it but because I know that She will apprecaite the help and will be able to relax knowing that it is done and She doesnt have to do it.
I try to anticipate Her needs as much as possiable. Sometimes She has to tell me to sit down and relax. This is hard for me to do at times because I know if I go ahead and do it then when I have the energy then She wont have to worry about it later.
So no it doesnt get me off or make me wet. It gives me the feeling of satisfication/happiness that I have done something that makes Her day/life a little bit easier. Not the task that I am doing but how it makes Her feel in the long run.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 3:11:43 PM

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

I don't get all wet and hot and bothered by cleaning His house, but I do enjoy being of service to Him in ways that please Him and make His life easier. That in itself gives me the warm fuzzies.

It's not always easy or enjoyable doing these things for Him because He's a bit of a perfectionist, and because sometimes I'm just pooped already, but I do them.

I do think that some folks confuse service with submission. One can serve without submitting, and one can submit without serving. Some of us just happen to need to do both.

(in reply to MasterDoc1)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 4:29:22 PM

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy.

Luckily he didn't. It wasn't even close to what he said.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 4:50:43 PM

Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline

Several thoughts here, competing for space and since my head is killing me, i am just going to jot them down without my usual effort at being coherent.

1) At the beginning of our relationship, my Master told me directly that there would be times as a slave that i would not enjoy what He would do, that it would not always be fun and that i would have to do things i did not want to -- but that He expected obedience regardless. He was right. But i am rewarded amply when i finish and am happy with Him. That i do it even though i dislike it is part of the service and the submission. What value is there in "i'll submit to You as long as You only ask me to do things i want to do."?

2) Abraham Lincoln supposedly said there are no unselfish acts. Someone argued with him and asked why he helped a stranger. He replied that it was selfish becuase he would not have been able to sleep that night if he hadn't. (paraphrased, as i can't remember it exactly.)

3) umm... crap i forget. Bleeping headache!

g

_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to Evility)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 6:02:04 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
It's easy to be submissive when you're doing things you like, the real test is when you get to the things you don't like.

Which should not be interpreted to mean that if you haven't had to do things you don't like that doesn't mean you aren't "real."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 6:24:29 PM

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

If he told me to do his laundry, it would probably turn me on actually. Especially if he was creative. Having a general rule of 'you're the one who does the laundry.' would not be hot.

I think there are some people who get turned on by being told to do things that they don't want to do.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to MasterDoc1)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 6:56:59 PM

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

I agree that much of the time; it is not the activity it’s self that does it for me, it’s all in the approach.

k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to MasterDoc1)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 8:17:13 PM

Posts: 25
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline

I think that for a lot of subs and even Dom/mes not everything is a sexual dynamic. Not everything has to be sexual. There are many levels of pleasure in serving one's Master. If it makes Him happy or His life easier, it might not turn me on and make me wet, but it sure will make me smile inside knowing I did a good job to help make His life easier. Now there are times, when just a certain task and the way He might assign it and monitor me as I carry it out just might turn me on. For example, if I had to clean the toliet in an outfit that he had picked out and if He stood there watching me and directing me...and telling me what might happen to me if I preform the task well...Well, that's going to get me a bit excited. Under normal circumstances, I'd just do it to get it done...but with a promise of a fun reward or the threat of a possible "punishment," well that's just going to increase the excitement level.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 11:02:29 PM

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
It's easy to be submissive when you're doing things you like, the real test is when you get to the things you don't like.

Which should not be interpreted to mean that if you haven't had to do things you don't like that doesn't mean you aren't "real."

Greetings all,

Part of growing in slavery is pushing past those times when you don't want to do something and you go ahead and do it because you have been told to do so. Its all part of the process - and it certainly is different in every relationship.

With SJ, I do not feel that I have been challenged to really do a ton of things that I am not happy to do for him in the first place (I love housework). And yet, our relationship continues to deepen, the level of trust is honed, the services I am allowed to give have increased, and each part is organic and unforced.

well wishes ~ fairer

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/24/2008 11:13:03 PM

Posts: 59
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline

Where is it written that everything we do for our Master has to make us wet? Personally i derive great satisfaction from having pleased him (or would if i had a Master) especially if it was something i didn't feel like doing.

To me, we don't get to pick and choose when and what we'll do, either we're submitting or we aren't...and that includes the less-than-exciting stuff.
Very well said!
I work hard at doing what ever my MASTER orders me to do even if I do not like it, because his pleasure is the only thing that really matters in the end his pleasure clearly becomes mine. I love being a slave to my MASTER and will happoly do ANYTHING he orders me to do with a smile, it makes me wett with desire to PLEASE, SERVE and OBEY.
So if doing his laundry is what he orders me to do I will do it as happily as when he takes me sexually..anything for MASTER.
Head Down ASS UP,
Lubegirl

(in reply to justt13)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/25/2008 12:08:57 AM

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

i don't think it is so much a lie as a misinterpretation of motivation. the task may be drudgery, but if the reason that one does it is to please one's Dominant then it develops more meaning.

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to lubegirl)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/25/2008 4:57:43 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy.

Luckily he didn't. It wasn't even close to what he said.

Taking things oout of context again, I see.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Evility)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/25/2008 6:54:50 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy.

Luckily he didn't. It wasn't even close to what he said.

Taking things oout of context again, I see.

I have to admit DesFIP, I thought the exact same thing when I read your reply. I don't think that he was trying to define submission by that standard at all.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/25/2008 7:00:54 AM

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Ya'll are just the best lookin bunch I think I've ever seen.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to MasterDoc1)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/25/2008 7:22:03 AM

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

Well, for me, it's not just whatever makes a Dom happy or whatever pleases him - it's whatever makes his life more comfortable, more pleasant, more free from annoyance. There doesn't have to be an expression of appreciation (although those are nice to receive [grin]), but an absence of irritation is a form of appreciation.

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/25/2008 7:51:37 AM

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
However if you define submission as doing things you don't like, then we would all be in relationships with people we didn't like, doing things that make us unhappy.

Luckily he didn't. It wasn't even close to what he said.

Taking things oout of context again, I see.

I have to admit DesFIP, I thought the exact same thing when I read your reply. I don't think that he was trying to define submission by that standard at all.

I thought the same thing. He wasn't saying that the things you don't like are things to deliberately antagonize you.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/25/2008 7:54:28 PM

Posts: 47
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline

yes i love to suck His cock, i hate swallowing and don't give me "His cum is the greatest gift"
i like to put the clothes in the washer but i don't like to fold
i like to rub His feet but i don't like having sex after He's been at the gym...does this make me any less of a submissive no. i can't concentrate on Him when it doesn't turn me on and sweaty men and folding clothes does not turn me on.

(in reply to MasterDoc1)

RE: "The Submissive lie" - 3/26/2008 8:34:07 AM

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

After almost losing my girlfriend of 4 years by being disrespectful, never telling her I loved her, never giving her any of the kind caring things/thoughts you would expect from a lover and a friend. We have started a fresh relationship with the Dom, Sub..relationship as a pattern for my behavior. Its like a weight has been lifted from me. I now call her daily and tell her I love her. ( required but done willingly). I was feeling ill the other day. (maybe the second or third time in years I didn't feel up to par). As I headed to the couch. She told me to fix dinner.I was shocked at her request but I did so with the knowledge that this was a sign of my new obedience to her and a sign of my sincerity in making our new relationship successful. This is a simple example but one that is repeated often. I love serving her and making her happy. I feel liberated, rewarded and (out of fear of losing this happiness) work day to day with her on top of the priority list. It also helps that I know she loves me and would not ask me to do something that wasn't beneficial to me,her our our relationship. I do it for love and our future.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: "The Submissive lie"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.407