RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All?

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 10:59:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zengiz

Each to their own. I'm no more shallow than the next person.

Before I was rudely cut off, I was going to say, but it will probably leave me in deeper hole than I already am now!

No one " Rudely cut you off " your comment about colour was picked up on, thats all. Like it or not, you are more shallow than someone who sees a woman as a woman, despite her colour or nationality. That said, I am sorry someone lied to you, maybe you need more time before sending gifts, or even a photo to confirm who you are talking to.

(in reply to zengiz)

RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 12:42:56 PM

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From: London, England
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I was rudely cut off of my internet connection. Haha. Should have said that, instead of being vague.

quote:

Have you been to Club Pedestal? http://www.clubpedestal.com/main.html
A semi regular poster here (male, sub) seems to have success there. However, he is undeniable cute, sweet and quite charming. It's clear you are a little bitter and resentful and suspicious - you will need to put that aside and be positive, upbeat and open minded. If you have had bad experiences at this club, what were they?

Akasha

Yes, Akasha, Club Pedestal is probably the most well known fetish club for subs catering to the dominant woman. I like the atmosphere, but again it's not really fulfilling, so many people and so little time.

(in reply to Politesub53)

RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 12:50:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zengiz

I was rudely cut off of my internet connection. Haha. Should have said that, instead of being vague.

quote:

Have you been to Club Pedestal? http://www.clubpedestal.com/main.html
A semi regular poster here (male, sub) seems to have success there. However, he is undeniable cute, sweet and quite charming. It's clear you are a little bitter and resentful and suspicious - you will need to put that aside and be positive, upbeat and open minded. If you have had bad experiences at this club, what were they?

Akasha

Yes, Akasha, Club Pedestal is probably the most well known fetish club for subs catering to the dominant woman. I like the atmosphere, but again it's not really fulfilling, so many people and so little time.

"So many people and so little time" again seems like you believe something magical is going to happen - and fast. Guess what? You have to invest weeks, or months, into cultivating a relationship with a woman who is going to beat you for fun and dominate you in the exciting, erotic manner without having to give her cash. Nothing is going to happen in a single night. You have to go there again and again and again until people recognize your happy smiling face and look forward to seeing you; next, they will invite you to private parties. It seems like you expect to walk in, collect a bunch of phone numbers and have your pick of dominant women.

The choice is yours - invest the time or invest the money. If it's such a chore and you are in a mad hurry, open your wallet.

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 11/11/2008 12:51:53 PM >

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 5:02:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53
I can sing in key Ma`am, just not the same key as the music.

Then maybe you should just hum while you polish my new boots. Can you hum with your tongue out like that? Let's try it!

----Ok... All joking aside.----

OP, as one of the brilliant and lovely Ladies mentioned, don't send gifts or tribute to a woman unless you enjoy doing it or feel that you have already received something of value and want to reciprocate. I laugh and tease about the shoes frequently. I NEVER demand that anyone send me gifts. I have a couple of very nice sub males who converse with me on a regular basis that I consider my FRIENDS. They like to send me things. They enjoy making me happy by sending me little surprises. I also send little gifts to them. It's a two way street.

MOST of my on line boys are JUST FRIENDS. We talk, we laugh, we joke around. We talk about our work, our families, our good times and our bad times. We trade pictures and little voice clips and what not. But the men are giving me as much time as I give to them. It's a give and take.

No one in their right mind is going to lavish attention on anyone else if that person is not holding up their end of the relationship.

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the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 5:10:24 PM

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Fair enough, but you still owe me $49.99 for that pic of my tongue, Ms S. Please don't force me to contact my lawyers over the matter.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 5:12:30 PM

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quote:

They enjoy making me happy by sending me little surprises. I also send little gifts to them. It's a two way street.

This is what D/s is about. Making your s/o happy.... It sums up the whole game in one short sentence. Be it gifts, or doing chores, it matters not. Thank You Ma`am

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 5:44:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

They enjoy making me happy by sending me little surprises. I also send little gifts to them. It's a two way street.

This is what D/s is about. Making your s/o happy.... It sums up the whole game in one short sentence. Be it gifts, or doing chores, it matters not. Thank You Ma`am

I am deeply relieved to hear this! Not that I am likely to change my ways, but I do enjoy being validated.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 6:27:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Fair enough, but you still owe me $49.99 for that pic of my tongue, Ms S. Please don't force me to contact my lawyers over the matter.

I'm sure we can work out an amicable arrangement for some sort of trade.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 7:07:48 PM

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zengiz, I think you already know the answer; a professional expects to be compensated for her time and her talents. You can’t eat or pay rent with time, no matter how good you are with conversation or how good you look. That leaves you with the only other alternative, relationship Dommes. However, I always take my dad’s advice in these matters; you get what you pay for. I’m not a pro-Domme and I’m not as good as a pro-Domme (nor available or interested-but I am of a light skin tone so I guess I might qualify).

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 7:17:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSusan
I’m not a pro-Domme and I’m not as good as a pro-Domme

Do you mind if I ask you why you think this is? Believe it or not, there are a lot of lifestyle Dommes that are just as good, if not better than pro Dommes, and you may very well be one of them.

All I'm saying is, you may not be as good as the best pro Domme out there, but I'm sure you're not as bad as the worst. Give yourself a little credit, and don't fall for the common misconception that, just because somebody is a "pro" means they are any good at their craft.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/11/2008 8:46:53 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSusan
I’m not a pro-Domme and I’m not as good as a pro-Domme

Do you mind if I ask you why you think this is? Believe it or not, there are a lot of lifestyle Dommes that are just as good, if not better than pro Dommes, and you may very well be one of them.

All I'm saying is, you may not be as good as the best pro Domme out there, but I'm sure you're not as bad as the worst. Give yourself a little credit, and don't fall for the common misconception that, just because somebody is a "pro" means they are any good at their craft.

Agreed. As a former pro dominant, I can tell you that many of them are clueless and dangerous. Taking money does not equal skill---ever had a bad dinner out? Or a bad haircut? The very fact that you are concerned about your skill level shows that you have what it takes to be an excellent dominant.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/12/2008 5:03:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSusan
I’m not a pro-Domme and I’m not as good as a pro-Domme

Do you mind if I ask you why you think this is? Believe it or not, there are a lot of lifestyle Dommes that are just as good, if not better than pro Dommes, and you may very well be one of them.

All I'm saying is, you may not be as good as the best pro Domme out there, but I'm sure you're not as bad as the worst. Give yourself a little credit, and don't fall for the common misconception that, just because somebody is a "pro" means they are any good at their craft.

Agreed. As a former pro dominant, I can tell you that many of them are clueless and dangerous. Taking money does not equal skill---ever had a bad dinner out? Or a bad haircut? The very fact that you are concerned about your skill level shows that you have what it takes to be an excellent dominant.

I'm in the same boat, while there are some truly excellent pro's out there, quite a few of them are not. Most of them might have a wider variety of skills, simply due to the market, it's a bit like cooking, you can be an excellent hobby cook and have gourmet meals, but unless you are doing it for a living you possibly will never do the range of varieties a chef has. You can concentrate on things that you enjoy, and that's the best motivator for learning.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/12/2008 8:19:42 AM

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From: London, England
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LadyConstanze, you are absolutely breathtaking!

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/12/2008 8:52:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs

So, bottom line...
If you (general you, not the OP specifically) want a relationship with someone kinky who is a good fit for you personally and generally shares your kinks, put your primary focus on the relationship aspects rather than on the kink.
If you're primarily looking to experience a particular scenario and your relationship with the other participants is a secondary consideration, focus on saving up enough $ to hire a pro.

Good advice. If you want some sort of on-going play connection with a domme, you must take the time to explore the compatibility between you and she. If there is chemistry, she will no doubt want to engage you in play. It takes time, effort and in-person meetings. Be proactive.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/13/2008 5:46:53 PM

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I do screen for money, but not in the sense that I expect to be paid. If he has a job and a place and a life, he's likely to be basically stable to begin with. And I'm the mistress here. I prefer to work someone in my house, not least because I tend to use the nice strong muscles of a male sub to move sofas and clean behind them. If I am in city A and he lives in City B, which is fifty or sixty miles away, he will be investing time and gas money and wear and tear on a vehicle to come to me, and he has to factor that in up front when we are considering whether we should play together, just as he should factor in jobs that work non-standard schedules or have an on-call element when we discuss his free time.

(in reply to MsDonnaMia)

RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/15/2008 3:07:13 PM

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For me, it's a mixed kind of bag because philosophically, I hate the concept of money and all that it stands for. At the same time, I live in a world that refuses to let my philosophy coexist in any positive fashion with the dynamics in which money seems to be all that people really care about.

So, what this has caused me to do is to focus away from money, and whenever I come across someone who is obsessed with money, she goes right out of my life forever because she and I can never meet, at least on a philosophical level. The funny thing about it is: I will most likely be very wealthy in the years to come; I have no doubt of that. But because of that, I end up having to be even more diligent about finding someone who ISN'T interested in me because of money. And I don't think I'm going to succeed in finding that because I live in such a commercial environment. Recently, I moved to South Korea where I thought at least the overwhelming capitalistic tendencies might be lessened, but unfortunately I ended up in the most affluent area of Korea, so that money is ALL that people think about here. Sure, I'm making great money while being here, but I really came here to spend some time away from the rat race after finishing another MA degree and focus the next year or so on writing my next book. It's amazing how this stuff keeps catching up to you no matter what you do.

Being here, I started communicating with a few women, going on a few dates, but again I found myself mainly attracting women who seem very obsessed with material things, and it's caused me to want to become more reclusive again, which strangely enough has caused the few women interested in me to be even more interested in me. I may have to take to going out in disguse these days just so I can write in peace.

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/15/2008 3:13:57 PM

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You know, in a way material things are important, paying rent/mortgage, shopping for food, clothes, all that.

I readily admit when I am looking at a new job the salary is an important part because I want it to reflect what I put in and I found that employers tend to treat you better the better they pay you, you might be doing a great job but if they pay you a pittance they tend to walk all over you. I don't think we can ever escape the concept of money or live in a world that is not capitalistic, though the odd thing is, while it is important for me to get paid a fair amount for the work I am doing, money is not that important, I have a few expensive tastes (fine leather, nice shoes, fine wines, single Islay malts, toys have to be a certain quality) I am not a snob shopper, I am actually much more happy to find a great bargain in a charity shop than buy something in a designer shop. Money is never a problem as long as you have enough...

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/15/2008 3:23:33 PM

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Oh, I don't disagree. I'm mainly thinking about the obsession some people have with money. Right now, I'm in a working situation where the boss who hired me wanted me because of my skills, education and background. He's paying me a great deal of money to work for his institution. There are other people here who have been working for this place much longer, and every now and then I can see that jealousy thing rearing its head when someone starts talking about how he or she should be making much more money because I'm obviously making so much more than he or she is. They shouldn't even know how much I make, but it's pretty obvious that I get treated differently than the rest of the staff, mainly because I'm here for a specific purpose, and the big boss wanted me here just for that. Even my last supervisor was a bit irrate that I was obviously making a lot more than she was. The big boss ended up firing her because she was making waves about it, showing that he didn't have any time nor desire to deal with that kind of crap. The new supervisor is great.

For me, it/'s not about hte money, but don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have come here and taken this job if the money wasn't attractive to start with. But what happens is people start to define themselves by their job titles and their income. When people ask me what I "do", I say I'm a writer. If they ask me if they've read anything I've written, I ask them what they've read, instead of play the game they want to play in which I tell them my name, my books and they stare at me blanklly and then say: "Never heard of you." If I'm really feeling cheesy, I'll just say, "No, probably not. I write mainly for intellectuals who read my stuff. I don't think you'd have read anything like that."

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<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/15/2008 3:28:21 PM

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When I worked in journalism I used to get 2 answers

"Really? I'm a writer too" So I asked what they published and they told me "Nothing yet, but I am thinking about it" I sometimes got a bit snarky and said "Everybody has a book in them and most should keep it there"

Or "Wow, what a glam job, I would do that for free must be so much fun!" - No comment to that one, and the fun of keeping deadlines in different time zones

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Is Money A Be-All, End-All? - 11/15/2008 3:34:06 PM

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Only once was it ever "fun" for me, and that's when I was a live-in to a dominant woman who personally enforced writing deadlines for me. She reinvented the word "deadline" so it was a time of fear, not a target date.

Kind of miss those days.....

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

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