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TranceTara -> RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "financially successful"? (1/30/2009 12:03:43 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lockit
quote:
ORIGINAL: subtex
I was thinking about bringing up a similar topic. I was recently laid off and I was thinking the way the unemployment rate is going this could become a more common topic. Personally I decided to not consider myself part of the dating pool until my future is a little more certain. Some of my fellow workers who were laid off are open to moving if they find a job elsewhere. I haven't ruled that out. That's something else to consider.
Life sometimes has a screwed up sense of humor doesn't it? From time to time I receive an email from a Domme but they have always been far away. After I got laid off I received an email from a Domme on another site who lives just a couple miles from me. I checked her profile on the off chance it might say she was looking for someone without a job. [:)] The profile said "gainfully employed" but it also said she was interested in meeting friends. I emailed her back and it's friends for now so maybe that's a good way to handle this. Friends first is a good idea anyway so maybe while in limbo it's good.
Still, I'm not comfortable anwering an ad while being financially unstable but I rarely answer ads anyway. How would you feel about a friendly email from someone in financial limbo?
Bill
Life happens and it can happen to anyone. I have been there a lot because of my illness and loss of business with 911. The years since then have been hell. I don't think I am the only dominant that understands that some times things happen. In a perfect world it would be nice to have that stability and to know the man has something going for himself as it says something about him. But on the other hand, it doesn't say something against him if life happened. Not in my opinion anyway. If you were stable before and had a decent job history, you would be working still if it wasn't for the world economy. That isn't your fault and you shouldn't be faulted for that.
I know some have found one another in tough times and I am sure some will in the days ahead.
I am doing better now because of the income my son's disability or I would still be struggling. It wasn't my fault and although some view me as undesireable... I am still a decent human being that some will see past in circumstance to see who I am. There just may be some who will see past a few things and see the person standing there. You can't give up hope and you can't feel unworthy.
Hell... I doubt someone will want to join what I have going on... but I see these times and think... I secured us the best I could. We will make it through this and we will be comfortable. Would everyone want to live the way we are? No... that will limit my finding someone as much as my health does... but one day, there may be someone who fits my situation and life and won't mind that I must stay where I am and will find it worth it to live as I do. Life isn't about things... it is about people and love. And I said that when I wasn't poor and sick! lol
Thank you both for sharing. And I agree with you, life is about people and love, not things. It is what is in our hearts that will weigh most heavily on our deathbed, if we are lucky enough to have one and not die in some freak accident.
I understand that some wish to find a Domme/Dom or sub/slave who is financially stable. And, that will vary depending on one's definition of what financial stability is. But life can throw us a curve ball. One never knows. Look at Christopher Reeves and how his life drastically changed. Read the book A Stroke of Insight. An amazing story.
I can relate to what you talked about Lockit. I have had health issues and I am beginning to give up thinking I could serve someone. I seem to be moving further and further away from any BDSM community for I find so many are into the material aspect. Because of medication I have taken I bruise if someone grabs me too hard, so the masochist I used to be is no more. I might clot if whipped too hard. That's life. And yet, when it comes to the mind and the heart, I am most gifted and abundant. And, I am now attracting those who love the light that shines from within because when faced with death, when being a caretaker to a father who died of cancer and a mother who died of Alzheimer's I have an inner strength and acceptance that many find attractive. And, I also have a very vulnerable side as well. Yin/yang.
I had a customer come into the store I work in and he shared how he is retired. His wife is the breadwinner and he is fine with that. He had prostate cancer 6 years ago and thanked me for helping him during that time. I did not remember this man, but he remembered the little acts of kindness I apparently performed with him when he was in the store. When I mentioned my 50th was tough because I missed my mom, my dad and my only brother who died 3 years ago, he said, "It's your time to be loved and cared for. I bet that's all you want. Just to be loved and accepted and cared for. Isn't that what any of us truly wants?" I had to tell him I could not talk further for I had begun to cry. He hit it on the head for me. He apologized and I told him he did not need to apologize for he was just right on the money. He was my angel that day for he gave me such insight.
So, now I find I will be looking in other places than the BDSM community for what I seek. Yes, I have aspects of myself that are kink related, I do not define them anymore, for if and when I am blessed to meet someone who can accept me for who I am, then I will most certainly wish to care for her, and I would expect the same from her. If that makes me not submissive then so be it. But true love and acceptance sure has a way of bringing me to my knees.
And I do earn a decent living and offer thanks and gratitude every day for in these turbulent times I know how truly blessed I am. I may not be rich in terms of money, but I am rich indeed when it comes to good friends.
To subtex and Lockit, I wish you both luck. And, know that your words have touched me and given me even more strength and helped me open my heart just a bit more. It is so easy to run from pain and fear, but to embrace it and shake hands with it, well, that is very courageous indeed. Thank you both! And may I spread the love and strength you have shared.
Oh, and I must admit, I too flashed through all the pictures to see the teddy bear. Or is it Teddy bare? [:D] And, I hate to admit it, but I have a teddy bear that is older than you Nikitaa. lol
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