RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pros"

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/8/2009 10:55:43 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste
What about the ever-popular "She *was* Dominant once upon a time, but can't be bothered anymore"?

I cannot imagine a woman who likes to tell her man what to do and get obeyed, ever stops that.

M

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 12:44:19 AM

azjojoba

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

So I heard this line earlier tonight and it drove me to post!

How can a married man rant about how all the "dommes" are fakes and pros when he openly admits to being married, looking to "serve" behind his wife's back?

It boggles my mind! The logic bombs are exploding left and right and there's no convincing men like this that those of us who are not making money off it are not likely to put all that time and effort into a man who belongs to someone else already.

Sigh...another day, another rant.

I think almost all the women under 40 at CM are pros. Most over 40 aren't pros but most of them want an exclusive relationship or to get married. I haven't ran into too many fakes though -- most of the pros make it clear in their profile they are pros.

There is a clear age division on this website, and the number of women drops steeply after age 40. That's probably typical on any of the kink websites, so I'm not singling out CM.

I don't blame any of the dommes if they don't want to mess with married men. Some women will, but most won't.

So, the people here are very traditional except for their BDSM kinks because the younger females want money, and the older ones want to get married -- while many of us married guys just want to get away from wifey to have fun. It's the same old same old.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 12:52:39 AM

azjojoba

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

I agree.. and I thought about it as I was typing my post.. I am NOT against married men as a group at all.. but I'll admit, I've come across very few that really do have the consent of the wife. When they tell me that, I respond with, "then I'll be speaking with her at some point, yes?" ... they disappear at that point.. *grin*

It would be a very rare wife that would agree to this sort of thing, but it may happen in the swinger community ocasionally.

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 12:54:14 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDDom

my response is always..."why are u here...and why are u messaging me"?
i am not a pro, but in all honesty, how can a married man serve?

Gee, would you like to ask the married man who's lived with Me for the past couple of weeks? Done all of My laundry? Accompanied Me to every local and semi-local event that I've had the whim to go to and takes care of all of My other needs?

If you can think of the way he's not serving Me, I'd be glad to consider it.

so, is ur claim that all married men desiring the lifestyle (secretively--b/c most times it is) can serve just as u've expressed above? or is ur claim that u r lucky enough to have a married man that does serve?

would u consider ur situation typical or the exception to the "norm" as it concern married subs/slaves?

since i dont know what goes on in ur household, i cannot respond to ur last sentence.

No. In fact I was very specific about the fact that My sub and our situation is more the exception rather than the rule. I'm not proclaiming that he is the only one. There are actually a few more that frequent the boards as well.

Your question was how can a married man serve. The point I was trying to make is that some of them can and in fact, some of them do. There are a number of service arrangements out there regardless of marital status that are actually based on service. While I agree that this ability does relate directly to whether or not a person is honest with their spouse and that probably isn't the case with the majority, there are some of them out there. Had your original question been how can a married man serve who isn't being honest with his wife, I'd have had no issue with it.

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 1:01:12 AM

azjojoba

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I've never put in a lot of stock in the old "I discovered I'm a sub after we were married" or the ever popular "I don't think I can tell my wife about my submissive tendencies." This is the person you decided to spend the rest of your life with. If you're too ashamed to tell her what you really need, then something went wrong long before those submissive tendencies emerged.

I don't know why you can't put stock to that claim. Many men don't develop a taste for being a sub until they are older -- after they are married. It's really just that simple. However, that doesn't mean wifey will have the same interests.

< Message edited by azjojoba -- 2/9/2009 1:07:27 AM >

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 2:53:32 AM

azjojoba

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

Funnily enough, about 6 months ago I had someone call me promiscuous -- because I was open to more partners than he was and had play partners in my life. I looked the word up and read him the riot act -- including being clear that I'd had sex with only two people in the last two years and they were a primary and sort of secondary partner... that while I don't consider myself monogamous.. I'm not promiscuous... *grin* ... just remembered all that..

sorry for the rant

That label of "promiscuous" is applied to women unfairly. What's wrong with women have sex with different partners?

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 8:19:39 AM

Nikitaa

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quote:

ORIGIONAL: azjojoba

I think almost all the women under 40 at CM are pros.

I did not receive copy of you CM women dominant survey. I assume you took survey? I am 20, dominant, and not pro. No one can purchase my services. (men bringing dark chocolate receive better service)

My best friend (KinkyJody on CM) is 21 and not pro.

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 10:37:13 AM

Vendaval

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Fast Reply -

I view this particular complaint as being the flip side of the whole "madonna/whore complex" about women in general. Or just complaining that the available ones are not "good enough" and the unobtainable ones are "priced out of reach".

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 10:37:36 AM

LadyHibiscus

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There was a SURVEY? Missed the memo, as usual.

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 10:47:10 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

There was a SURVEY? Missed the memo, as usual.

Maybe the survey can be classified as "grapes are much too sour"

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 10:49:39 AM

Vendaval

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Not your fault Hib, the memo was no where near the office chocolate stash.

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 10:53:51 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Ah, that explains it! If there are no offerings of chocolate or cafe con leche, I pretty much breeze by those things...

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 10:56:58 AM

Andalusite

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azjojoba, I'm under 40, non-pro, but looking for a committed, kinky relationship. I definitely don't want someone who is cheating on his wife, and I generally prefer someone who isn't attached in the first place. I might be interested in a closed polyfi triad with just the right people, but in general, I tend to think it's more trouble/drama than it's worth. I've done casual play before, but definitely didn't charge for it.

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 11:01:27 AM

Vendaval

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Yeah, you think management would get smart and not have the memo board near the fire exit but noooo!

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 11:06:04 AM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

There was a SURVEY? Missed the memo, as usual.

Maybe the survey can be classified as "grapes are much too sour"

Bingo. The little 19 year olds do not want to play with an older man cheating on his wife, so they must be pros.

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 11:06:13 AM

Miyani

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quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I've never put in a lot of stock in the old "I discovered I'm a sub after we were married" or the ever popular "I don't think I can tell my wife about my submissive tendencies." This is the person you decided to spend the rest of your life with. If you're too ashamed to tell her what you really need, then something went wrong long before those submissive tendencies emerged.

I don't know why you can't put stock to that claim. Many men don't develop a taste for being a sub until they are older -- after they are married. It's really just that simple. However, that doesn't mean wifey will have the same interests.

Perhaps if you'd read the rest of the post... ;)

The point was actually that if you've decided to spend the rest of your life with someone, you should be able to, if not tell them everything, then at least be honest with them about who you are. If they can't give you what you need, and aren't willing to give you permission to find it elsewhere, then why stay? And if they're worth staying with despite that, then they're certainly worth not cheating on.

And if you can't be honest with them, then their not seeing to your kink needs is the least of your marital problems.

< Message edited by Miyani -- 2/9/2009 11:07:22 AM >

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 11:12:50 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

azjojoba, I'm under 40, non-pro, but looking for a committed, kinky relationship. I definitely don't want someone who is cheating on his wife, and I generally prefer someone who isn't attached in the first place. I might be interested in a closed polyfi triad with just the right people, but in general, I tend to think it's more trouble/drama than it's worth. I've done casual play before, but definitely didn't charge for it.

Most people aren't too keen to try to invest anything in a situation where they get nothing back, and if a guy has no problem cheating on his wife, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have any problem cheating on me.

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 11:14:16 AM

Vendaval

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Exactly!

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"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 11:16:52 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Bingo. The little 19 year olds do not want to play with an older man cheating on his wife, so they must be pros.

Absolutely, I mean why would a hot young woman be NOT interested in a not so hot, not so young guy who doesn't mind cheating on the spouse and who wants to have a bit fun behind wivey's back... Heaven knows that they should be flattered to be considered a disposable sex object by such a prince! Clearly, they must be pros!

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RE: "I'm married...and all the dommes on CM are pr... - 2/9/2009 11:29:18 AM

beeble

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quote:

Andalusite wrote: azjojoba, I'm under 40, non-pro, but looking for a committed, kinky relationship.

There's no point arguing: he's already decided that all under-40s are either pros or fakes.

beeble.

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