AAkasha
Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rastermanblu
quote:
ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
How is it that you have all this time to see that she is quote:
is cruising CM like mad middle of the night, early am, all day in fact.
Possessive? Paranoid? Id be wondering about your trust level.
Simple log on, she's was my favorite so when I logged on I would that she was or what she had last been on. I don't think that's snooping.
Did you have a clear conversation with her where she agreed that your expectations regarding how she spent time on collarme were discussed? Were you agreeing that she would stop emailing others, viewing profiles, and would always respond to your emails first whenever she logged on?
You have to look at this kind of thing from all sides. I don't mean to come across as a bitch in this situation and I have no idea how your relationship was with her. However, I know it can be terribly annoying as a woman when you get those emails, hints or pouts from a guy, "You were online and read my message but did not reply- *cry* cry*" it is SO needy and very UNattractive.
You can assume she was online picking up guys, ignoring you, lost interest - sure, that might be true. Or she logged on and left her PC, was on the phone, and something happened that got her attention and she did not have to respond to your email thoughtfully, before she received a follow up from you that said "Hey whats up, you read my email, but you didn't reply but you have been on" - and then her annoyance level might have gone up. Then she waits to figure out what to say, only to get ANOTHER hint, or a call, and sense you are "fishing" for what is wrong but wont flat out say "Hey whats up, are you online at collarme checking out other profiles" but nothing, just the big elephant in the room. She's annoyed at your immaturity in your way of dealing with it so she never mentions it, and logs back onto collarme. Then you delete all her stuff and block her.
For all you know she reconnected with a long, lost female friend and had been chatting with her and didn't have time to respond in the timeframe YOU thought was appropriate. The minute you start analyzing and watching when someone is online then getting irritated that they are not putting you at the top of the list is the minute you are dooming your own relationships. Unless you both agreed on terms, its none of your business how she spends her time online. In the old days - with phones - would you be wondering why her phone was busy all the time and ASSUME she was having phone sex when she didn't return your calls but her line was busy? Is that how you operate? Is that healthy for you?
She could have been picking up new guys. Or she could have just been online. When all else fails, communicate. State your expectations, be clear, and if they are not met, you can move on. But to just make assumptions and get all upset about guessing is just defeating everything right out of the gate, isn't it?
Akasha
(who HATES it when guys whine, "You read my email but didn't respond in 1 hour, what's WRONG??" <-- hello, I have a LIFE! Sometimes I get busy and can't respond immediately, but I can promise you a follow up email WHINING about it will get you at the bottom of the list for sure.)
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