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RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 1:45:27 PM

Posts: 71
Joined: 2/8/2009
Status: offline

I see your point, you were being disrespected by her not simply giving you an answer but yet she is online. Ive been there too. Things get hot and heavy then they back out and no word. No closure, it sucks. I would think she may be married or she got scared but should be honest and upfront with you. I met a wonderful master here so there is hope. I hope you find what your looking for and just becareful not to get to deep before you meet

kind regards

sensura

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 1:47:09 PM

Posts: 61
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Wow. Everyone thinks she was in the wrong, even though we got only one side of the story. Maybe she was interested in him until she agreed to meet in real, and then he started acting like a controlling whackjob.

The posts of Akasha and littlewonder are worth reading a few times, I have to say. I just don't see any grand show of disrespect here. I see a man with little dating experience getting too invested in a woman he doesn't know, and the woman saying, "Holy shit! This guy needs to back off, but I don't know how to tell him, so I won't say anything."

I don't think so. And I have plenty of dating experience, but not online. I read their posts and took their thoughts seriously. There was no grand show of disrespect I agree, but there was enough that made my interest simply dwindle. But in the end I still was a bit hurt by her seemingly duality, everything is fine on the phone and then on line silence. If I were a controlling dickhead I would be phoning her and messaging her, but I choose not too. Silence is my response. I think what I'm doing here is simply venting my disappointment and looking for advice. Which I have gotten and am grateful for. The criticism is as welcome as is commiseration. And I do wish her nothing but happiness, my complaint is that she wasn't open enough to make her thoughts honestly known.

If things seemed bad online but good on the phone, why not ask directly on the phone what the disconnect was?

Akasha

Because I am done now, by the way I did and she seemed fine with me when we last spoke. Bottomline, again, is that I wrote her and she never responded, I'm not going to call again and try to find out what's wrong.
What is wrong is evident. And I've learned and I'll move on.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 1:59:34 PM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu
Bottomline, again, is that I wrote her and she never responded, I'm not going to call again and try to find out what's wrong.

Maybe she had the flu. Maybe one of her kids did. Maybe she lost her job. Maybe she is nervous, and needs reassurance. Instead of demonstrating compassion and care -- instead of extending yourself to her -- you bitch about her on a public message board.

Class act.

Don't you think it is better to help women solve problems, and get past concerns about meeting a strange man who is going to beat their ass?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 2:11:04 PM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

The problem comes when she's on CM and not bothering to reply to me. That says all I need to know.

You sound controlling and a bit creepy when you say stuff like this.
It sounds like you are cyber stalking her. If I got a wiff of a guy who acted like this I would not encourage him at all. You've not even met her yet. Give her some space to breathe.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 2:24:44 PM

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu

Because I am done now, by the way I did and she seemed fine with me when we last spoke. Bottomline, again, is that I wrote her and she never responded, I'm not going to call again and try to find out what's wrong.
What is wrong is evident. And I've learned and I'll move on.

Hang on...you did speak to her after she didn't respond to your emails/texts? Things were fine but because she didn't acknowledge your cyber-chat, you're done? Is there something I'm missing? From what I've gathered from your posts, you've been talking/chatting/emailing with a woman and decided to meet and then you cancelled your plans because she was "cruising CM" at all hours? You felt disrespected? Ignored?

There has to be more to this than what is posted. This was just a first meeting, yes? You've mentioned an "online relationship"....did she see it that way too?

I guess I'm in the minority here because I just don't see what the issue is....given what you've told us.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 3:30:34 PM

Posts: 61
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

The problem comes when she's on CM and not bothering to reply to me. That says all I need to know.

You sound controlling and a bit creepy when you say stuff like this.
It sounds like you are cyber stalking her. If I got a wiff of a guy who acted like this I would not encourage him at all. You've not even met her yet. Give her some space to breathe.

Okay I guess have to give that point to you. When her disappearings started, I looked at my "who's viewing me", which is where we met, kind of to check her pictures out again, she is beautiful to me and I just kind of wanted to look at her again. It was then that I noticed that when my mouse brushed on her thumbnail, that "last on" info popped up. I admit, I checked her out, a day after posting my last message to her, and fully now knowing, that I could see when she was on line. And it said she was "on line now", I sat stunned. I mean this is a full day after, I had written her and it is my custom to write someone back, especially after professing that I like someone, in that way. I just think that behaivour breaks the deal and I'm done. I do wish her all the best in the end, but what she did wounded me. And I came for a bit of advice.

So if that makes me creepy I just may be.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 3:35:20 PM

Posts: 61
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu

Because I am done now, by the way I did and she seemed fine with me when we last spoke. Bottomline, again, is that I wrote her and she never responded, I'm not going to call again and try to find out what's wrong.
What is wrong is evident. And I've learned and I'll move on.

Hang on...you did speak to her after she didn't respond to your emails/texts? Things were fine but because she didn't acknowledge your cyber-chat, you're done? Is there something I'm missing? From what I've gathered from your posts, you've been talking/chatting/emailing with a woman and decided to meet and then you cancelled your plans because she was "cruising CM" at all hours? You felt disrespected? Ignored?

There has to be more to this than what is posted. This was just a first meeting, yes? You've mentioned an "online relationship"....did she see it that way too?

I guess I'm in the minority here because I just don't see what the issue is....given what you've told us.

I came to your post second and my last response kind of answers your question as well...

Okay I guess have to give that point to you. When her disappearings started, I looked at my "who's viewing me", which is where we met, kind of to check her pictures out again, she is beautiful to me and I just kind of wanted to look at her again. It was then that I noticed that when my mouse brushed on her thumbnail, that "last on" info popped up. I admit, I checked her out, a day after posting my last message to her, and fully now knowing, that I could see when she was on line. And it said she was "on line now", I sat stunned. I mean this is a full day after, I had written her and it is my custom to write someone back, especially after professing that I like someone, in that way. I just think that behaivour breaks the deal and I'm done. I do wish her all the best in the end, but what she did wounded me. And I came for a bit of advice.

So if that makes me creepy I just may be.

(in reply to CarrieO)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 3:39:24 PM

Posts: 61
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu
Bottomline, again, is that I wrote her and she never responded, I'm not going to call again and try to find out what's wrong.

Maybe she had the flu. Maybe one of her kids did. Maybe she lost her job. Maybe she is nervous, and needs reassurance. Instead of demonstrating compassion and care -- instead of extending yourself to her -- you bitch about her on a public message board.

Class act.

Don't you think it is better to help women solve problems, and get past concerns about meeting a strange man who is going to beat their ass?

Yes I do and I don't think you get my point. It wasn't anything like that. And I do think communication is key to developing any kind of relationship, but especially in one where ass beatings are concerned. Cheers, R.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 3:42:48 PM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Dude. Have you noticed people stopped writing "poor you, she's at fault" posts once you actually provided some facts? Akasha, CarrieO and I are trying to tell you how to meet people in real life. In fact, I'm trying to tell you how to get laid. If you're tired of sleeping alone, you might want to pay attention once you've come down from your high horse of ego defense.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 3:42:55 PM

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline

Why does it matter if she isn't responding to you online as long as when you phone everything is swell and communication is good? Is she obligated to respond to your emails and private messages? Did you ask her straight out why she did not?

Reading this thread, you come off as immature and too emotionally needy. I'm not saying you are, but your posts in this thread indicate that, imo. Maybe she got that vibe from you as well.

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 3:44:47 PM

Posts: 61
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu
Bottomline, again, is that I wrote her and she never responded, I'm not going to call again and try to find out what's wrong.

Maybe she had the flu. Maybe one of her kids did. Maybe she lost her job. Maybe she is nervous, and needs reassurance. Instead of demonstrating compassion and care -- instead of extending yourself to her -- you bitch about her on a public message board.

Class act.

Don't you think it is better to help women solve problems, and get past concerns about meeting a strange man who is going to beat their ass?

Yes I do and I don't think you get my point. It wasn't anything like that. And I do think communication is key to developing any kind of relationship, but especially in one where ass beatings are concerned. Cheers, R.

and I have/would not reveal her name or anything else about her.

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 3:54:31 PM

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

How long did you wait after you wrote the letter and posted this thread? Are you sure she ever got the email?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 4:09:38 PM

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu

Hi there, I fell for someone on CM, a sub, great email dialogue, nice phone chats, made travel plans to see her. But then weirdness set in, no responses to emails, and yet I find that she is cruising CM like mad middle of the night, early am, all day in fact. I'm no fool and I don't want a relationship with someone who claims to be very interested in me but is still playing around.
I don't know why but I am extremely hurt by this sad turn. I guess I just need to vent and hope that someone in this community will help me figure this out...

Sorry to hear that, I feel your pain, going through it myself as we speak. Haven't read anything but your post so far so sorry if I"m repeating here.

These time wasters and game players are something else. I figure it has to be a game otherwise they would grow a pair and say they are no longer interested instead of this no contact game, making you wonder if they are even still alive or not.

I hope you can get through it, I've gone through it so many times I can't even count....just take a break, clean your system, and get back on the horse...again.

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 6:23:49 PM

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: rastermanblu

Because I am done now,   by the way I did and she seemed fine with me when we last spoke. Bottomline, again, is that I wrote her and she never responded, I'm not going to call again and try to find out what's wrong.
What is wrong is evident. And I've learned and I'll move on.

Hang on...you did speak to her after she didn't respond to your emails/texts? Things were fine but because she didn't acknowledge your cyber-chat, you're done? Is there something I'm missing? From what I've gathered from your posts, you've been talking/chatting/emailing with a woman and decided to meet and then you cancelled your plans because she was "cruising CM" at all hours? You felt disrespected? Ignored?

There has to be more to this than what is posted. This was just a first meeting, yes? You've mentioned an "online relationship"....did she see it that way too?

I guess I'm in the minority here because I just don't see what the issue is....given what you've told us.

I came to your post second and my last response kind of answers your question as well...Actually, it really didn't and why you felt the need to respond to me with a copy of a response to someone else is a bit odd. However, I understand that this is just online and you are just a mass of pixels on a screen.

Okay I guess have to give that point to you.   When her disappearings started, I looked at my "who's viewing me", which is where we met, kind of to check her pictures out again, she is beautiful to me and I just kind of wanted to look at her again. It was then that I noticed that when my mouse brushed on her thumbnail, that "last on" info popped up.   I admit, I checked her out, a day after posting my last message to her, and fully now knowing, that I could see when she was on line. And it said she was "on line now", I sat stunned.  I mean this is a full day after, I had written her and
it is my custom to write someone back, This is the part I'd like to address. This is YOUR custom, not the same for everyone. If manners and etiquette are so important then I would suggest you stress that in your profile.
especially after professing that I like someone, in that way.You professed this but did she reciprocate these feelings? Did she understand your seriousness? I just think that behaivour breaks the deal and I'm done. I do wish her all the best in the end, but what she did wounded me. And I came for a bit of advice. My advice....go out into the real world...someone mentioned Dark Odyssey, that would be a great place. Find some local clubs...you're in D.C. not a wasteland.

So if that makes me creepy I just may be.   Your posts on this subject are what comes across as creepy, something you may want to think about.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 6:59:13 PM

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

Sorry to hear about this OP. I think it sucks that she didn't at least come forward and fess up to her unwillingness to meet or whatever her issue is. Like others have stated, sounds like she might be married and is just looking for online stuff.
To put a positive spin on it, at least it happened now and not after you had met and got emotionally attached to her, or at least more attached.
Good luck to you.

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 7:26:43 PM

Posts: 61
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

The sharks smell blood. I love it......Best To all...

(in reply to girlygurl)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 7:33:33 PM

Posts: 61
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

good lord it's not that big of a deal, exisitentially speaking. I'm done with her, good give a flying f**k what she thinks and I'm on to happily ever after.

Thank You again you freaks and I mean that most positively.

Yours in complete freakish unity.
Rastermanblu

My quote:
The tear is not because I am a sad clown.
It's because I killed a man in prison.

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 7:45:07 PM

Posts: 112
Joined: 7/20/2008
Status: offline

To the OP - you do not have control over her actions, you do not know what she is thinking or what her reasons are for not replying. Why make assumptions? If things were fine on the phone after she didn't reply then what is all the fuss about? It is not disrespectful to not answer an e-mail, it is simply her choice not to answer it for a countless number of possible reasons. You are assuming disrespect because of your limited perspective. She has done nothing to hurt you, the hurt has been entirely of your own creation. Your over-reaction speaks of someone who is not emotionally balanced, which is understandable after a divorce but not the correct action to take. Let it go and move on.

(in reply to rastermanblu)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 8:54:34 PM

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

So people only want online relationships... some chicken out at the last minute, sometimes they get talking to someone else and feel they are a better fit ... though it would be nice if they gave a reason instead of just shutting a person out... it's part of the crap you have to deal with when socializing and trying to start relationships thru the net.

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Voodali)

RE: online gone wrong - 2/10/2009 9:14:34 PM

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

Unfortunately, for some people, this is just a fantasy that they are afraid to take into reality. Could be that she had good intentions in the beginning, and then maybe had second thoughts or doubts about any number of possible things that caused her to back out. It happens.

(in reply to rastermanblu)

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