pinniped
Posts: 41
Joined: 9/14/2010
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To be a little more analytical (or at least less depressed) about the subject...
I would say there are three main areas to talk about, for me at least, as far as crossdressing/feminization goes.
There's the "normal" side of it. This is the part of me that just wants to dress, behave, be accepted as a woman, and to the extend possible, experience the viewpoint of one....to really "feel" like a woman as much as I can. This is the side of me that wants to crossdress while I do normal, mundane things: go out shopping or for food, socializing, working, and so forth. True, I do tend to emphasize the more feminine activities where possible (cooking or sewing, having tea with a friend) but if there's an actual "sexual" aspect to it, it's pretty subtle. I do sometimes fantasize about being "romanced" while en femme, but that's more about the courtship and chivalrous parts than the consummation (let alone any actual relationship).
As a subnote, I find this urge often comes to me when I'm involved in activities that are more traditionally male: part of me wants to be en femme at, say, a sporting event or a poker game. The notion of being one of just a few (or even the only) woman in such a situation is appealing -- but I suspect that this may be, as much as anything, just wanting the attention.
Then there's the more "traditional" forced-femme kind of scenario, of being "made" to dress by someone else, and then trained to behave in a very stereotypically girlish (and usually submissive) fashion. Where this appeals to me is in the area I think of as "ultra-feminization" -- not just dressing as a woman, but in outfits with lots of ruffles and frills, petticoats, bows, anything that screams of feminimity; not just behaving as a woman, but an extremely 'girly' one, with an exaggerated mincing walk, a fixation on anything girly and feigned ignorance/indifference to anything masculine, curtseying a lot, etc. There is a humiliation aspect to this, to be sure, but I maintain that most actual women would be somewhat humiliated if 'forced' to act this way (not to the same degree, perhaps).
My own particular interest in this area lies in an offshoot involving age-regression...the idea of being dressed and treated as a little girl. This scoots uncomfortably close to the subject of ageplay, so I should say that I don't envision any sexual activity while I'm in that role (and no real BDSM, although child-appropriate punishments might be in order). Part of this would be hopefully wearing old-fashioned little-girl type party dresses, pinafores and so on; part of it would be the firm guidance of my guardian to act like a 'proper' young lady. Finding a woman who would be willing to act as my Mommy/Auntie/Governess/Babysitter in that kind of scenario would be neat. (I hasten to add, however, that we're talking child here, not infant...AB/diaper games don't interest me.)
Finally, we move on to what we might call the "slut" role: the desire to be dressed up in sexy clothes and then sexually used, objectified, degraded and so on. I can understand ambivalence (or hostility) to this kind of thing. On the one hand, I would point out that these are fantasies that many actual submissive/kinky women themselves have. (Some of them get into the area of "great to fantasize about, not to actually do" category, at least when taken to extremes.) On the other hand, there's no real reason in theory that I couldn't experience the same kind of objectification/degradation as a man....but that holds much less appeal for me. This is where the sexism comes in. Part of it is simply that it seems, well, sexier. Part of it is that it just seems more prevalent, though this may just be the constraints of the porn market. Part of it....it's hard to express exactly, but...well, watch a film where a villain threatens someone with violence if they don't comply. If the victim is a woman, we accept and feel sympathy for her if she complies, or begs for mercy (although we also like women who stick up for themselves). But if it's a man, if he backs down, let alone begs, we tend to see him as cowardly; men are supposed to remain defiant even in the face of death. (You have to threaten to hurt someone else, their lover or kids, before it's OK for them to capitulate...and even then they usually comply minimally while making smartassed remarks about it.)
So, is it a feeling that the mere act of submitting makes a man inherently unattractive or contemptable that causes some of us to want to be girls for a while? I don't know, but I have a feeling there's a connection.
Or, maybe it's just the impression that I'd be more "succesful" as a female submissive. I know that I look at those male subs who seem to be 'succesful' and in some demand, and I don't seem to understand them or be like them. There's the fact that there's more of a male sub surplus (although I gather that female subs don't have the easiest time finding good dominants, either). Or, and this could be more of a "porn" thing than a real-world thing, there's just more of a 'market' for female subs/bottoms of the objectified/degraded kind -- more demand for ponygirls than ponyboys, for instance.
I do know that if I did suddenly get my wish and was magically transformed into a woman who was young, attractive, and reasonably limber, I would likely immediately be sending off an application to model for the House of Gord. (In fact, I strongly suspect that Satan can't possibly exist or he'd have been here to offer to trade my sould for that by now.) It's hard to imagine anyone doing that kind of thing with male subs on any significant scale.
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RE: Feminization: Help, Advice & Support - 
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