Removing a collar as punishment....

Removing a collar as punishment.... (Full Version)

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MyCaptainsPet -> Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:11:18 PM)
In a group on Yahoo they are discussing the removal of collars as a form of punishment. i don't know, this just disturbs me... My collar is a symbol of US and of what we are together. Anyone have any thoughts on this????

wytchywoman -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:26:36 PM)
Just me, but I think that's reckless and careless as a form of punishment. In fact, it's not a punishment as far as I'm concerned, but coercion. I know of one dominant who did that in real life and is still whining that his slave left and never came back...not even after 5 years of him trying to get her back.

sultryvoice -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:28:26 PM)
How can someone trust if the Dominant is going to yank that collar anytime he doesn't like what his sub/slave does? That kind of threat is not needed. There are too many other things that can be used for punishment. I would get away from that Dominant ASAP, if not sooner! A collar is given in trust, respect and sometimes love! That collar is too important to be thrown around like that.. Resepctfully, sultry

kyraofMists -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:32:32 PM)
In my relationship the removal of my collar would be an end to the relationship, not a form of punishment. Knight's kyra

PlayfulOne -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:36:50 PM)
If your collar has a meaning to you within the relationship then it is not a toy to be played with in that manner. That would not be a punishment but something of a cruel nature. My little one would be crushed if I took her collar for something of that nature K edited to say, it was in a yahoo group so I would have to ask how many there have actually put a collar on someon in a meaniungful way

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:39:27 PM)
To the OP..I believe that it is a form of blackmail to remove the collar as a punishment.And as far as I can see it would only create distrust and hesitancy from the submissive,it should not be used as a learning tool in any way shape or form,it should be considered inviolate.Any Dom who removes as a punishment should not be surprised that his submissive would take it as her walking papers..If used in such a way it would only be the start of the end .....be well...Tempting

wytchywoman -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:47:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub To the OP..I believe that it is a form of blackmail to remove the collar as a punishment.And as far as I can see it would only create distrust and hesitancy from the submissive,it should not be used as a learning tool in any way shape or form,it should be considered inviolate.Any Dom who removes as a punishment should not be surprised that his submissive would take it as her walking papers..If used in such a way it would only be the start of the end .....be well...Tempting Agreed. Which is what happened to the real life dominant that I personally know who used this "punishment" five years ago. That girl left and has never been back. He broke every bit of trust she ever had in him. On the other hand, there just might be some dominants who might use this type of "punishment" when in fact their true intentions are to end the relationship permanently...without wanting to actually bear the blame for it. There just might be some out there who will claim this is punishment knowing that it will break the sub/slave so badly they'll walk and just maybe that was their real intent?

fullofgrace -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:54:25 PM)
wytchy, i think that could definitely be a motivation for some. right now with my current Dominant i don't wear a regular neck collar, but i do wear an anklet constantly as a symbol of my devotion to Him and my submission...when we are together i have a collar He allows me to wear. i know if He ever took either of those, it would break something in me as far as our relationship is concerned. the symbolism is too important to me, and He knows that it would make me lose the trust and faith i have in our relationship, as well as the level of comfort i have with Him. i can see how as a severe punishment to a sub who is acting as though s/he does not WISH to serve, it might work to get to the bottom of whether or not they should be there in the first place...but overall i think it's a horrible idea for punishment. there are so many other, better ways.

SadisticDesire -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:55:55 PM)
I can think of a thousand better ways to punish a sub other than taking away the symbol of our relationship. What would happen if a husband took away his wife's wedding ring because she pissed him off? Well if I were her I would consider that my walking papers. Though this may have been a horrible example (lol) in my opinion its about the same. I wear a permanent collar, given to me by my Dominant, if he took that away from me, it would be quite clear to me the relationship was over. But ya know....then again, I would have never been with a Dom who would use such an important symbol to try and punish me for something petty.

MHOO314 -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 6:56:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet In a group on Yahoo they are discussing the removal of collars as a form of punishment. i don't know, this just disturbs me... My collar is a symbol of US and of what we are together. Anyone have any thoughts on this???? NO WAY, NEVER.

yourMissTress -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:02:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet In a group on Yahoo they are discussing the removal of collars as a form of punishment. i don't know, this just disturbs me... My collar is a symbol of US and of what we are together. Anyone have any thoughts on this???? NO WAY, NEVER. I'm with Mistress Hathor on this one. I will go one further and say that I do not throw collars around lightly. They have an intense and special meaning to me, and for me to use that collar as a pawn or a ploy would cheapen its meaning and weight. The removal of a collar equals the permanent dismissal of a sub.

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:05:51 PM)
These were all my thoughts when i read this too... And i found my heart almost broke for this sub.. simply because this little chain i wear around my neck is US.. and my trust and faith in him.. Take it away and you take those away too...

maybemaybenot -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:14:23 PM)
I have only worn two collars in my lifetime. If either were to have been removed from me as punishment, they would never have been put back on. mbmbn

ravn -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:14:26 PM)
Abandonment is a great fear, and while this threat is an effective warning, it should be a warning of the end, not as punishment.If this is threatened, it should be the slave who ends it. If the Dome/me is going to demean a symbol of trust in such a way, They have no business having anyone place trust in Them. for me, threatening to take away my collar would be the time i took it off and said goodbye.

theRose4U -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:20:09 PM)
I would suspect that this Dom talking about removing a collar for punishment is the same half-wit that was looking for punishment of his cyber (never met) "slave" on another thread. I agree with everyone here, removing a collar is the end. There are LOTS of much more meaningful and demonstrative punishments that would be much more effective.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:39:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet In a group on Yahoo they are discussing the removal of collars as a form of punishment. i don't know, this just disturbs me... My collar is a symbol of US and of what we are together. Anyone have any thoughts on this???? Are you also on the DDSS group? If not, I always marvel at how similar topics seem to run through online forums at the same time. It depends on what the collar symbolizes, which can vary greatly. If the collar is a gift or a reward to the sub, given as an anniversary present, or just a special piece of jewelry, then it makes sense that it could be taken away as punishment. If it's a symbol of the relationship, then taking it off doesn't seem to make much sense as a punishment. I don't think it really makes a useful punishment anyway- it really doesn't work towards any change in behavior which is what punishment is supposedly about. Instead it's a bit more like taking your crayons and going home. But for some people, it works for them.

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:41:54 PM)
Yes, that's the group my Captain and i belong to... but you forgot the 3 grins

IronBear -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:43:58 PM)
It's a common form of punishment in some areas of Gorean Role Play and it was used regularly in some BDSM rooms in the old MSN. Those using this form of puishgment were in the past the would-be-if-they-could-be-but-never-will crowd. I din't know what goes on therenow but it sounds like the same mentality.... It is Cruel and Unusual Punishment and the perpitrators need to gave their genitalia removed without anethesitic and publically IMO...

slavejali -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:47:40 PM)
I can see my way around my collar being taken off me as punishment. Like Master never uses pain as punishment, he always just makes it significant to the crime. So for example, if for some reason I cant think of right now, I was being one bad-assed slave, taking my collar off would symbolise to me that I was not acting like a slave so why should I get to wear my collar?...I think though if he ever did that, because it would be such a major emotional thing, it would have to be done in a really disciplined way and what was needed to earn it back would need to be outlined in incredible detail...and for it to have impact it would have to be a very very rare thing to happen. I say the above, knowing we have a solid relationship and that it means more than the physical collar around my neck, yet at the same time knowing that my collar is symbolic of my slavery to Master.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Removing a collar as punishment.... (3/29/2006 7:52:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet Yes, that's the group my Captain and i belong to... but you forgot the 3 grins Ah then you already saw my response there.

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