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RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/3/2010 6:25:46 PM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
Wouldn't it be more sanitary to use the counter instead of the floor for prepping cookies, Jeff?

DAMNIT! Was this covered in one of those chapters that I never read in the dom's handbook?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/3/2010 7:14:32 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Nah, just basic food safety.

I keep the floor swept and mopped, but not clean enough to cook on or eat off of. Maybe you make Carol disinfect the floor before each meal? Or, I suppose I could pull up one of the really tall chairs up to the counter, and kneel on it like a little kid who isn't tall enough to reach yet.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 6/3/2010 7:15:40 PM >

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/3/2010 9:20:13 PM

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

~fast reply~

OK, all of you! On your knees! And one of you bitches make me some oatmeal raisin cookies!

Peanut butter- weal twue cookies for weal twue Doms.
You big fake.

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/3/2010 10:16:01 PM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

This is an actual email I got on another site some time ago. I saved it because, well...it's just one of my favorites! You can see why.....

quote:

girl,

your profile came up today and I find you interesting. I am placing you under MY consideration at this time. you will immediately cease contact with all other Dominates. you will alter your profile to reflect MY consideration of you. Within one hour of receiving this message you are to send me your phone number and passwords. Make sure your webcam is on, if you don’t have one get one immediately. you will always address ME as SIR. Should you fail to do so punishment will be swift and harsh. Here is a list of rules that I am implementing immediately. your compliance is mandatory.

you will return MY emails and phone calls within 5 minutes
you will always be nude when you contact ME
your webcam will always be on
you will always kneel on the floor when you speak to ME, legs spread one foot, eyes to the floor
you will not use any furniture or sleep in your bed
you will open a savings account and deposit $50 dollars per week for transportation costs should I find you acceptable
your dildos (if you don’t have any get them) will always be ready for use and you will always keep one in the freezer
other items that must be readily available are, wooden spoon, clothespins, hairbrush, paddle, permanent marker

I am a kind MASTER as long as you follow the rules. DO NOT try MY patience. I have no tolerance for fakes or brats. you have things to do now so go do them.

your MASTER (name withheld to protect the idiot)

(oh and, his profile was blank with no picture)

But Misti...you said you wanted me to be more...dominant...*cries*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/3/2010 10:26:44 PM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

LMAO, mist! priceless!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/4/2010 7:00:50 AM

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

This is an actual email I got on another site some time ago. I saved it because, well...it's just one of my favorites! You can see why.....

quote:

girl,

your profile came up today and I find you interesting. I am placing you under MY consideration at this time. you will immediately cease contact with all other Dominates. you will alter your profile to reflect MY consideration of you. Within one hour of receiving this message you are to send me your phone number and passwords. Make sure your webcam is on, if you don’t have one get one immediately. you will always address ME as SIR. Should you fail to do so punishment will be swift and harsh. Here is a list of rules that I am implementing immediately. your compliance is mandatory.

you will return MY emails and phone calls within 5 minutes
you will always be nude when you contact ME
your webcam will always be on
you will always kneel on the floor when you speak to ME, legs spread one foot, eyes to the floor
you will not use any furniture or sleep in your bed
you will open a savings account and deposit $50 dollars per week for transportation costs should I find you acceptable
your dildos (if you don’t have any get them) will always be ready for use and you will always keep one in the freezer
other items that must be readily available are, wooden spoon, clothespins, hairbrush, paddle, permanent marker

I am a kind MASTER as long as you follow the rules. DO NOT try MY patience. I have no tolerance for fakes or brats. you have things to do now so go do them.

your MASTER (name withheld to protect the idiot)

(oh and, his profile was blank with no picture)

Boy, that Guy sure has a lotta balls!! Sounds a little bit like One i used to know. Used to that is. lol

~sweetsub~

~edited to add last sentence~

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 6/4/2010 7:02:46 AM >

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/4/2010 7:03:44 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/6/2004
From: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Status: offline

Wow, just wow. People are hilarious.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/4/2010 7:11:18 AM

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

I keep the floor swept and mopped, but not clean enough to cook on or eat off of.

You would not have to worry about the cleanliness of the floor if you would just push the cats litter-box right up to the counter. Plus, there is the added benefit of "texture" to the foods you drop in there.

holly de MarthaStewart

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/4/2010 7:16:03 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

You are a sick, twisted woman, Holly...

(no wonder I adore you!)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to sirsholly)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/4/2010 7:28:48 AM

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

You are a sick, twisted woman, Holly...

(no wonder I adore you!)

Annnnnd right back atcha!

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/4/2010 5:01:36 PM

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/1/2010
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSilver

Wow, just wow. People are hilarious.

I know, right? I had one today who insisted I call him "Sir." Oh, the temptation to call him, "Cur!"

It was with much head shaking and laughter that I hit the delete button.

_____________________________

"We all need to be mocked from time to time, lest we take ourselves too seriously."
— George R.R. Martin

(in reply to MissSilver)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/4/2010 5:11:43 PM

Posts: 207
Status: offline

I don't know what came over me last night because I actually tried to have some polite dialogue with one of these oxygen bandits via PM to explain some of the niceties.
It was a wasted effort.

(in reply to Newnshiny)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/5/2010 7:53:24 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

every time i get a c-mail like that

holly, your profile says nothing but "I'm taken. Good luck in your search." I can't believe that that would be too obtuse for ANYONE.
/Shakes head/

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sirsholly)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/5/2010 8:15:13 AM

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Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Mine says Not Looking. They don't read them. What's worse is if you respond politely to them saying you're not available, they start arguing with you that you should just chat with them and see where it goes. It's bizarre how desperate these guys are.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/5/2010 8:20:57 AM

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

every time i get a c-mail like that

holly, your profile says nothing but "I'm taken. Good luck in your search." I can't believe that that would be too obtuse for ANYONE.
/Shakes head/

Nice try Stevie...but the next "Kneel, bitch" cmail you send me is gonna be deleted unread.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/5/2010 8:33:30 AM

Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline

I get at least one or two of them a week. Some of them are hilarious, some of them just banal.

One of my favorites involved a self-proclaimed "evil wizard" who'd put a curse on me if I didn't come and serve him that week. I kind of wish I'd saved the email now, as it was quite the thing, but it would lose its full effect without the picture of himself he sent along with it, and I couldn't post that anyway.

Another involves a guy who kept on trying to turn our conversation into phone-sex despite the fact that I made it quite clear, a number of times, that I wasn't seeking cyber/cam/phone etc, only real time. I eventually "consented", having a hoot "doing" the various things he ordered with various household sound-effects. Oddly, me fisting myself with both arms as done via the sound of crunching tinfoil was not questioned ( How would one even do that, anyway? ), nor did he wonder about masturbation via squeaky duck noises.

(in reply to reynardfox)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/5/2010 8:35:14 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Nice try Stevie...but the next "Kneel, bitch" cmail you send me is gonna be deleted unread.

The next one?

/Makes note to send holly TWO "kneel, bitch cmails/

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sirsholly)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/5/2010 8:40:03 AM

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

LOL that's awesome!

He was probably just thinking you were totally into him and squeeking!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to WestBaySlave)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/6/2010 1:30:12 PM

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Andalusite,

quote:

Wouldn't it be more sanitary to use the counter instead of the floor for prepping cookies, Jeff?

I realize this is addressed to Jeff, but... as long as dems bitches are makin' cookies, I'm not too picky. They can clean the floor with their kneepads first. (Yeah, I know. "Bitches" don't deserve kneepads, but I'm in a giving mood today. :-)

E.

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: On your knees, bitch! - 6/6/2010 1:42:08 PM

Posts: 98
Joined: 6/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

Another involves a guy who kept on trying to turn our conversation into phone-sex despite the fact that I made it quite clear, a number of times, that I wasn't seeking cyber/cam/phone etc, only real time. I eventually "consented", having a hoot "doing" the various things he ordered with various household sound-effects. Oddly, me fisting myself with both arms as done via the sound of crunching tinfoil was not questioned ( How would one even do that, anyway? ), nor did he wonder about masturbation via squeaky duck noises.

Welcome to my world!--I do question the sanity of those--who expect that I can fist myself in less time than it takes to eat a Big Mac...

(in reply to WestBaySlave)

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