RE: "A Submissive's Place"

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 3:28:09 PM

attendedone

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I meant to reply to leadership527:
Well said and desireable circumstance indeed!

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 3:29:48 PM

heartfeltsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I've seen a lot of subs' profiles that mention this, and I take it to mean that they'll test limits and need to know that the limits are real.

That's very true. I'm totally like that. I realize this makes me somewhat of a pain in the ass, but if I feel I can push limits or break them, I will. I love to struggle, but I'm only doing it so that I can really feel the invisible chains surrounding me. I like knowing they're there and that they can really hold. So yeah, I suppose I like being "kept" in my place, if not "put" there.

i think this is what my friend meant by conquering. Thank you for this reply.

heartfelt

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 3:31:25 PM

heartfeltsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chrisincuffs

quote:

So the question/s are these, What does it mean to you when you either hear/see that phrase or use that phrase. What is a submissive's place and how does one put/keep him/her in it? Is that something you look for in a D/s or M/s relatiionship and how does that manifest to you. In addition, are you looking to conquer or be conquered and how does that manifest?

When I see a phrase like that I tend to blow it off as something that doesn't pertain to me. The way I see it is that everyone has their own kinks and if that means "conquering" then I guess that's just their thing. I also don't look to be completely dominated in a relationship. Play time is D/s time. My Master and I are friends above all of this and we still need that time to just be friends. I'm still his equal. Play time, my place is bowing to Him and pleasing Him in any way he wants. I REALLY enjoy the balance we have and both aspects of our relationship are equally important to both of us. But to those that are into conquering or being conquered more power to ya, have fun with it

This is more how the D/s relationships that i have been in have worked. That is why the conquering idea doesn't make much sense to me. Thank you for your reply.

heartfelt

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 3:33:47 PM

kallisto

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Maybe I'm not understanding or not showing my "twue" submissiveness, but my place has always been where it most complimented my Dom and the relationship we had together. I've always felt that my place was the other half of the D/s ... I don't see it as a one size fits all.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 3:36:31 PM

heartfeltsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

Maybe I'm not understanding or not showing my "twue" submissiveness, but my place has always been where it most complimented my Dom and the relationship we had together. I've always felt that my place was the other half of the D/s ... I don't see it as a one size fits all.

That is again something that i both understand and would agree with. Thank you for your reply.

heartfelt

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 3:41:26 PM

kiwisub12

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If someone tried to "put me in my place", i would balk, and head in the opposite direction. I take that phrase to be belligerent and autocratic.
I don't need to be put in my place - if i am with the right dominant, i know my place and would be very happy to be there.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 3:41:48 PM

Daddysredhead

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~FR~

I don't know that I have a "place" really. I'm not "naturally submissive" or anything like that. If I feel that a man is reliable and has a good head on his shoulders, then I may defer to him if I feel that he has better ideas or suggestions for a certain situation than me. I have felt all warm and fuzzy and subbie with my Sir over the years, but there are times when reality needs to be checked and if my ideas are better, then I let him know (respectfully) and chances are, he may agree with me. I'm not really sure if this is an answer or not, but it's all I got right now.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 3:46:55 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

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Did I misunderstand the question?

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 4:09:55 PM

heartfeltsub

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lol, yeah that would be one definition of it.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 4:11:25 PM

heartfeltsub

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It strikes me the same way. As does the term conquer, but i figured there were some who had a different view point. Thank you for your reply.

heartfelt

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 4:57:32 PM

texangael

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quote:

What is a submissive's place and how does one put/keep him/her in it?

A submissive's place is kneeling at my feet (metaphorically most of the time, literally when schedules and knee joints permit).

How to keep her in that place? By leading. By commanding. Basically, by being me.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 5:03:09 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I've seen a lot of subs' profiles that mention this, and I take it to mean that they'll test limits and need to know that the limits are real.

I will keep a sub in her place,but I won't put her there.

May i ask what that statement means to you, what does it mean it keep a sub in her place, what does that look like? What would it look like if you were to put her there and why is that somethiing you don't do?

Thanks in advance,
heartfelt

By "put a sub in her place", I mean getting someone to be a submissive in the first place. I won't do that if it's not in her.

By "keeping her in her place", I mean that if she already is a submissive, I'll keep her there.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 5:51:13 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
I don't need to be put in my place - if i am with the right dominant, i know my place and would be very happy to be there.

My sentiments exactly.

~sweetsub~

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 5:56:01 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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I've been on a bit of break from here! Been enjoying Facebook a lot lately, plus interacting with people in the real time more and more. Seriously, though.. I have been lurking from time to time on the boards. Creature of habit making my cyber rounds.

Damn it, the whole concept of putting somebody back in their place applies in day to day life in general. At times some people need to be put back in their place for their fucked up behaviors or actions or whatever else. Is not some BDSM exclusive thing. Hell some DOMs, Switches, Dommes, slave or submissives need to be put in their place from time to time.

With that said, I would hope that anybody in the D side of the D/s coin would put somebody back in their place when it's sincerely needed or required. I'm not talking about mindlessly putting somebody in their place either.

I think a lot of this depends upon the personality and character of the people involved in the relationship as individuals. This is more Realistic and more well.. just based upon reality itself.

I'm just sort of fucking mind blown, that it would be outta line for a Dominant or anybody to put another human being back in their place, when they are the fuck outta line. Seems to be not doing it, would be.. well rather leading to something known as "passive agressive" behavior.

Seriously, the topics that get ripped apart to death here... I'm amazed that anybody is doing D/s from reading the stuff posted on here at times.

Oh I see, all the submissives here are just super submissive and never require anybody to ever put them back in their place. Not their Dominant partner, not their family, not their friends.. Nobody.. why because everybody is so super perfect in their nice neat comfortable orientations.

Message board posts truely amount to a lot of people shinning their magic lamps and making everything looked as polished and smooth as can be. This stuff just does not fully comform to the reality of human nature.

Really, is D/s (the orientations) this much of a facade for people to hide behind at times? Perhaps, I'm going to upset a few people with this post.

I'm also going to express, there is a big difference in how somebody puts another person in their place! I think this is the root concern here that people are having issues with. You can put somebody in their place without being an ASSHOLE about it. But, as we all know Doms have a stereotypical sub title as being Assholes.

Seriously, I think too many people get caught up thinking inside boxes at times for their own good.

Ohhh.. big bad asshole for anybody putting somebody in their place. LOL I swear to god I've not figured out if I'm too extreme or vanilla for this joint yet.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 6:05:20 PM

kiwisub12

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Interesting.
So you periodically have to metaphorically slap your sub up the side of the head and remind her who is the dom?
I spent five years in a 24/7 relationship - and once in that five years did he punish me. And actually the punishment was the least of the repentance on my part- you could call it the icing on the cake.
As a thinking adult and submissive, i am very capable of knowing when i screw up, and am very capable of putting myself back on my own place.

I no more need putting in my place than does my dominant.

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 8/2/2010 6:06:49 PM >

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 6:05:45 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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NOTE TO SELF = true submissives never need to be put back in their place (LOL) La La La La... for the record, some women love it when somebody put them back in their place, instead of letting them walk over them. (seriously, this is shit that vanilla none lifestyle women fucking talk about). I can't believe some people ain't keen on this concept.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 6:08:19 PM

kiwisub12

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NOTE TO SELF - some true submissives don't need to be put in their place - they already know where it is and want to be there. Sounds like you have been dealing with some smart arse want-ta-be's.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 6:10:59 PM

sweetsub1957

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~FR~
I guess I actually was looking at it from the perspective of putting a submissive back in her/his "submissive" place, wherever that is, rather than just calling someone/anyone on F'ing up somehow. I mean, everyone F's up now & then and needs to be called on it. In a broader sense, yes, everyone needs to be called on their bullshit now & then, no matter who they are.

~sweetsub~

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 6:11:05 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
Interesting.
So you have to periodically have to metaphorically slap your sub up the side of the head and remind her who is the dom?
I spent five years in a 24/7 relationship - and once in that five years did he punish me. And actually the punishment was the least of the repentance on my part- you could call it the icing on the cake.
As a thinking adult and submissive, i am very capable of knowing when i screw up, and am very capable of putting myself back on my own place.

I no more need putting in my place than does my dominant.

And away we Goooooooooooo with the stereotypical image of asshole Dominants!! Let's jump on the bandwagon and throw a party!!! Seriously, where do you get this notion it involves being hit upside the fucking head... and not being pulled tightly against them.. them taking you by the hair... drawing your head back. Then nibbling upon your neck and pressing your body against the stove. Doing this when you are in some bratty mood or such? Some girls literally melt and their whole mood changes in 2.5 seconds flat without being bitch slapped upside the head.

People are just only gonna mentally associate shit with abuse and assholes here, and it's gonna drift into la la la land.

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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/2/2010 6:11:24 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

NOTE TO SELF = true submissives never need to be put back in their place (LOL) La La La La... for the record, some women love it when somebody put them back in their place, instead of letting them walk over them. (seriously, this is shit that vanilla none lifestyle women fucking talk about). I can't believe some people ain't keen on this concept.

but who said anything about anyone walking over anyone? I agree, there's not alot of info in the OP. We're all making assumptions. I don't however, see miscommunications about lack of respect as really being role issues as much as relationship issues. Trust me, if someone I am dating acts like a jackass, I'm going to tell them. I would expect the same. That isn't putting me in my "submissive place." The only context I can really see this comment being relative to is with regard to sex and believe me, he can evoke that whining, whimpering, "jesus christ I would do anything for you right now" response incredibly easily, but there's no negative connotation involved.

By the way, welcome back. I hope life is treating you well.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 8/2/2010 6:14:06 PM >

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