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RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/5/2010 4:19:56 AM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		On my cushions in a state of advanced bliss

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/5/2010 7:03:36 PM   
cosmicbunny


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/31/2010
From: Wales
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

If someone tried to "put me in my place", i would balk, and head in the opposite direction.  I take that phrase to be belligerent and autocratic.
I don't need to be put in my place  -  if i am with the right dominant, i know my place and would be very happy to be there.



absolutely

any Dom or Master worth his salt would engender such feelings in a sub or slave. To force this, which is how i read the 'put in her place' phrase is little more than a bully.

bullying suggests aggression suggests lack of control - surely the person Master needs to have most control over is Himself? anything less simply is not safe [let alone sane or consensual]

bunny
XxX
[and i need more control over my typos ]


< Message edited by cosmicbunny -- 8/5/2010 7:10:05 PM >

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/5/2010 7:10:07 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

As a generally humorous (to me) addition to this thread, I was just talking with someone else about "putting Carol in her place" today. I made the observation that Carol LIKES her place and she strongly dislikes MY place. So the easiest way for me to "put her in her place" is to put her in my place then let her realize how much that sucks.

On a more serious note, I think this works for Carol and I because our two personalities very strongly line up with the roles we occupy in our marriage. There is no jostling for position because neither of us has any interest in the other's role. Concerns about "place", however, intuitively become more relevant when the two personalities are not quite as polarized as we are. I equate this with a problem unique to the "by relationship orientation" side of the BDSM world. I think that the "by nature" folks have our own unique set of problems -- for instance, questions around choice and consent.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to cosmicbunny)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/6/2010 6:32:27 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

~FR~

Oh dear, there are times that i can hardly stand myself... pmt... bad weather forecast... too much coffee... anyhow if my Husband helpfully lets me know in no uncertain terms that i should mind my mouth and perhaps busy myself with more constructive things than bugging Him with my moaning about trivia... oh it can feel like such a relief

usually i am no bother though....


That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for your reply.

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/6/2010 6:52:31 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you for your post, it was really helpful, i would really like to ask you some additional questions. When you say conquer, what do you mean? Also are you saying that one can't be strong, interesting, fiinancially secure, etc and be naturally submissive. I don't think that is what you meant given the tone of the rest of your post, but i am curious if that is what you meant.  Also it seems odd to me, that one who says they are looking for a submissive is also looking for someone who will break the rules, why make them rules if it is okay to break them?

Thanks again for your reply and in advance for your answers,
heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/6/2010 7:10:36 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
You don't have to be abusive at all (like some of you are worried about in this thread). You just have to be willing to wait patiently until that naughty girl comes to you wanting attention/affection/sex and then smile wide and proceed to remind her who is in charge.


This is very true. I'll fully admit that I've tried to gain the upper hand in a whole host of silly, petulant ways when I'm in a certain feisty mood, and the single most effective way my ex dealt with it was to revoke attention. Not meanly, just sort of casually. And being casually ignored like that - when I'm already nervous and a little uncomfortable from playing defiant - makes me sit there on very shaky ground, wishing I was being submissive and bathing in his Dominant attention. It doesn't take long to put two and two together and realize that if I come to him in a more pliant, repentant state, I'll be happier sooner than if I sit there sulking and stubborn. And being reminded who's in charge when I do decide to give in, from that shaky place, is incredibly hot. But then, I'm someone who likes to be taken down.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
Teasing/attitude: It's not particularly smart to be teasing someone or giving them attitude when you've also given them the power to to make you uncomfortable for their own entertainment. Some like to be reminded of this more often :P.


Love this. It's so playful. And that's the point, isn't it? Some of us like to be shown we're not being particularly smart, and why

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: "A Submissive's Place" - 8/6/2010 8:48:32 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		As long as she is in my arms its where she should be...her *place*

However...I keep things rather simple now...

~kneel slut~ LOL

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 87
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