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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/18/2011 2:35:38 PM   
BurntKitty


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I vote this the thread of the year. Between the OP, the threadjacking, and the tushie pics, it's more entertaining than a dvd.

I'm taking drink orders.... (I r teh tw00 submittive, yanno)

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/18/2011 2:58:21 PM   
BonesFromAsh


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

ashjor... really, get to know people around here before you let every little thing rock your world. GhitaAmati has been around here for a long time. You are missing the humor that many of us see, use and enjoy. We cannot change for the sake of one person from a different place in life. We wouldn't even want to. Either accept us for who we are or don't, but you aren't going to make things easy for yourself by continuing to judge us by your own standards and where you come from in life.

Chill...


Great post Lockit....just had to add a little extra emphasis.

On topic...my advice to the OP is made quite clear in the above quote.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 2/18/2011 2:59:37 PM >

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/18/2011 6:35:07 PM   
hausboy


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After all this, I gave into temptation and clicked on the OP's profile.

I was expecting a long diatribe about her likes, dislikes, interests, and desires.  It was surprisingly short, and the only thing the profile really said was that she didn't want out of shape men, and that she was a switch who didn't submit 100% fully.  And of course, two very provocative (but I thought very nice) photos.

So this thread was titled: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY?  when really, it should be titled "Why don't cranky women write their profiles more THOROUGHLY?"

this thread was worth every minute. 

p.s. My OWN dear sweet little old Jewish mother told me this joke:  "My son, do you know how you can tell when a Jewish woman has an orgasm?'
  answer:  "She drops her nail file"
(I suspect only some of you will get that.)


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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/19/2011 3:25:00 AM   
TotalDiscipline


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Sometimes people's looks are more attractive then their personallity

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/19/2011 5:05:09 AM   
ashjor911


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

ashjor... really, get to know people around here before you let every little thing rock your world. GhitaAmati has been around here for a long time. You are missing the humor that many of us see, use and enjoy. We cannot change for the sake of one person from a different place in life. We wouldn't even want to. Either accept us for who we are or don't, but you aren't going to make things easy for yourself by continuing to judge us by your own standards and where you come from in life.

Chill...


I hate to say this but

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/19/2011 5:30:08 AM   
GreedyTop


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does this mean you'll quit getting all offended on the boards when someone posts a joke you either dont get or find offensive?

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/19/2011 6:49:22 AM   
ashjor911


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

does this mean you'll quit getting all offended on the boards when someone posts a joke you either dont get or find offensive?


i am getting over it like getting recover from surgery

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/19/2011 8:23:13 AM   
GreedyTop


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good for you..

I understand slow recovery.. but at least it is a step in the right direction...

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/20/2011 8:55:34 AM   
sockit2me


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I don't read a profile if it is not well written and interesting. Most are not well written. Most are far from interesting. I prefer intelligent women who write well, provoking thought and inviting engagement. The run-through-the-mill ordinary ad online for a Dominatrix is intended for a broader audience of men  who seem to thrill at the prospect of being relieved of money by an aging brat whose idea of BDSM is to play whore wearing a badly designed outfit two sizes too small. To each their own. Reading most profiles carefully is masochistic, but not in a good way.

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/20/2011 9:27:04 AM   
leadership527


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So we're what??? 8 pages into this thread???? have we figured out yet why women who think men are all too stupid to breath without help want to hook up with men?

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/20/2011 10:38:51 AM   
Lockit


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I have often wondered about that!


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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/20/2011 5:55:04 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

So we're what??? 8 pages into this thread???? have we figured out yet why women who think men are all too stupid to breath without help want to hook up with men?


Lawn and auto maintenance.



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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/20/2011 9:12:31 PM   
Awareness


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cbaby
wow, i'm impressed, first time i've ever seen a real live Collarme moderator with the honest to goodness gold border....real gold?....
  Oh, that's nothing - they email me all the time - it's one of the fringe benefits of being a curmudgeon.

Well okay, not all the time.

Alright... maybe just once.


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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/20/2011 9:18:29 PM   
Awareness


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako

quote:

ORIGINAL: rspmkiv


quote:

Men don't read women's profiles carefully because the time investment required is not sufficiently justified by the low reply rate they get in return.


As insensitive as it sounds, that pretty much sums it up :/


But it's a fallacy sir.
If you read profiles carefully and write appropriate, well thought out messages, your reply rate will go up.
  Nonsense!  I get a far better response rate from being an interesting asshole than I ever do from writing "appropriate, well thought out messages".

Let's be blunt here.  Most women overrate themselves terribly online and the occasional reality check does them some good.  I'll toss out unique messages at the drop of a hat because I'm something of a wordsmith and it requires vanishingly small effort on my part to do so.  Your average dude without my lexical abilities is going to have to invest more effort to do the same and the reply rate pretty much ensures it is usually simply not worth their time.

In effect, women *teach* men to simply not bother.  Game theory pretty much spells out the implications.  Minimal effort for maximum return.  Since there's little variation in the result between reading a profile and NOT reading one, most men will hit the pics then flick off a message which takes 30 seconds to construct.


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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/20/2011 11:06:23 PM   
CarpeComa


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Let's be blunt here.  Most women overrate themselves terribly online and the occasional reality check does them some good.  I'll toss out unique messages at the drop of a hat because I'm something of a wordsmith and it requires vanishingly small effort on my part to do so.  Your average dude without my lexical abilities is going to have to invest more effort to do the same and the reply rate pretty much ensures it is usually simply not worth their time.

In effect, women *teach* men to simply not bother.  Game theory pretty much spells out the implications.  Minimal effort for maximum return.  Since there's little variation in the result between reading a profile and NOT reading one, most men will hit the pics then flick off a message which takes 30 seconds to construct.



It's more aggravating than that. Like most classical game theory examples, the result of everyone attempting for their individual optimal outcome means everyone gets a suboptimal outcome. Men teach women to skim, ignore, and not respond due to the volume of the messages and women teach men that writing good messages is a waste of time by ignoring, skimming, and not responding. Without external intervention, this is the only stable outcome.

< Message edited by CarpeComa -- 2/20/2011 11:07:25 PM >

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/21/2011 12:43:18 AM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarpeComa

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Let's be blunt here.  Most women overrate themselves terribly online and the occasional reality check does them some good.  I'll toss out unique messages at the drop of a hat because I'm something of a wordsmith and it requires vanishingly small effort on my part to do so.  Your average dude without my lexical abilities is going to have to invest more effort to do the same and the reply rate pretty much ensures it is usually simply not worth their time.

In effect, women *teach* men to simply not bother.  Game theory pretty much spells out the implications.  Minimal effort for maximum return.  Since there's little variation in the result between reading a profile and NOT reading one, most men will hit the pics then flick off a message which takes 30 seconds to construct.



It's more aggravating than that. Like most classical game theory examples, the result of everyone attempting for their individual optimal outcome means everyone gets a suboptimal outcome. Men teach women to skim, ignore, and not respond due to the volume of the messages and women teach men that writing good messages is a waste of time by ignoring, skimming, and not responding. Without external intervention, this is the only stable outcome.

This exchange is fantastic.

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/21/2011 4:49:17 AM   
DarkSteven


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It may be fantastic but in my opinion is misdirected. The goal seems to be to elicit a response, which in my opinion is wrong. My goal is to give my cmailee a quick glimpse of what I'm like. If she responds to that, cool. But I'm not going to play games to boost reply rates if it results in an incorrect impression of me.

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Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/21/2011 6:20:49 AM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It may be fantastic but in my opinion is misdirected. The goal seems to be to elicit a response, which in my opinion is wrong. My goal is to give my cmailee a quick glimpse of what I'm like. If she responds to that, cool. But I'm not going to play games to boost reply rates if it results in an incorrect impression of me.


Greetings,

I don't think that's the idea for most and he does raise an interesting point. I never expended untold energy trying to provide a glimpse of myself. My replies were generally to the point and only expanded if I found a reason to do so. While my present approach isn't game theory, I'm not rolling out the red carpet.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/21/2011 10:31:22 AM   
leadership527


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
In effect, women *teach* men to simply not bother.

One of the underlying truths to all such behavior is that both genders behave in the way that the other gender has taught them to. Success in the mating game is a major thing for us humans. By the way, it's a lot worse than the specific example you cited. This shouldn't come as a news flash to anyone, but women are highly attracted to bad boys... at least for a quick fuck. Us men know that. We are highly incented to be "bad" especially if we ourselves are not looking for a long-term relationship.

Of course, some of us can simply say, "that's not a game I wish to play" then see if there's any other game in town. I prefer to play a different game with different rules. In my game, the only possible reward from a relationship stems from what I personally invest in it. So I have no incentive to minimize my investment and a lot of incentive to maximize it as quickly as I can.


< Message edited by leadership527 -- 2/21/2011 10:33:50 AM >


_____________________________

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Why don't men read a female's profile CAREFULLY? - 2/21/2011 10:46:37 AM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

One of the underlying truths to all such behavior is that both genders behave in the way that the other gender has taught them to. Success in the mating game is a major thing for us humans. By the way, it's a lot worse than the specific example you cited. This shouldn't come as a news flash to anyone, but women are highly attracted to bad boys... at least for a quick fuck. Us men know that. We are highly incented to be "bad" especially if we ourselves are not looking for a long-term relationship.

Of course, some of us can simply say, "that's not a game I wish to play" then see if there's any other game in town. I prefer to play a different game with different rules. In my game, the only possible reward from a relationship stems from what I personally invest in it. So I have no incentive to minimize my investment and a lot of incentive to maximize it as quickly as I can.


Agreed. Yet, supply and demand will also dictate which games one may have to play if they're going to play at all (unless a person has other lures in their favor), and the measuring stick everyone, including ourselves, always defaults to is currently having a partner versus not having one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It may be fantastic but in my opinion is misdirected. The goal seems to be to elicit a response, which in my opinion is wrong. My goal is to give my cmailee a quick glimpse of what I'm like. If she responds to that, cool. But I'm not going to play games to boost reply rates if it results in an incorrect impression of me.

This I see as noble but largely futile. As is evidenced by many responses here, both irl and online, women typically still enjoy the age old idea of being pursued and romanced. Which means the wittily constructed quick-message that focuses on them (or shows in some form or another that you have honed in on something unique to them) will habitually be favored to a message that's self-descriptive and objectively honest (some may even take that to seem like a "he talks about himself" thing).

Except in rare cases, being human and desiring to meet a prospective partner involves the need to play games because we've psychologically validated them and continue to do so.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees


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(in reply to leadership527)
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