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Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 3:31:32 PM

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I had sex with a lady who (after the sex) told me that a few years ago she had sex with her then-boyfriend, and how she got an STD from him, for which she had to get tested and receive treatment in the form of pills. After the treatment she said the STD "went away".

My question is, what is my risk in terms of this particular STD? Do people who receive treatment for an STD get 'cured', or are only symptoms 'removed', but not the bacteria/virus? To be honest I am freaking out a bit because I can't find any information on this. (And unfortunately I do not know which particular STD it was, she didn't want to share).

RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 3:43:11 PM

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it depends on which std it was. Some are curable, some can reoccur, others are incurable....no way to know unless you can narrow it down. Why not ask the woman who you had sex with.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 3:55:51 PM

lizi

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Some STD's are lifelong diseases that can lay dormant and become active but you'll always have it. Some are eradicated with medication. You'd have to ask her for the name to know what you were potentially exposed to. Did you wear a condom?

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 4:12:42 PM

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OP; you need to call her back, and have her tell you exactly what STD it was. If she does not, I strongly suggest you go to your local clinic and get tested for a number of STDs. You didn't mention what activities you engaged in with her, and whether or not you used protection.

regardless, go get tested. if nothing else, it's worth the peace of mind. and it could save your life.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 4:21:38 PM

greeneyedsweetie

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Wow, isn't that generally something you should tell someone before sex, not in casual conversation after? I also don't understand why she wouldn't disclose which STD it was? That just all sounds strange to me. Are you sure she was being honest with you and it just wasn't a ploy to make sure you don't ask for another encounter? People can be ridiculous when trying to dodge honesty. Or...maybe I'm just naive.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 4:22:51 PM

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There are STD's that are curable, one that requires pills that springs to mind is chlamydia. I do agree that you should go get tested though, it's just generally a good idea to do so on a regular basis if you're not in a monogamous relationship.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 4:26:30 PM

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Oh, also keep in mind that different STD's have different incubation periods, so for accurate results for specific ones you'll have to wait a while. Also, not all places test for everything, so you might have to ask for specific tests to be done to get the whole spectrum (ie, different forms of Hepatitis aren't routinely done on an STD panel, so you'd have to specifically ask for those tests to be performed.)

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 5:36:45 PM

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you can be treated/cured for STD that are not of viral origin: chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, trichomas, LGV, PID, chancroid, lice/crabs

if it is viral in origin--you might have lifelong souvenir (hepatitis, HIV, herpes, HPV)

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 5:53:32 PM

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You can still be treated even for things that stick around. But you know what they say - herpes... the gift that keeps on giving. Find out what she had. I expect you are safe. I believe that people who are pretty upfront about having had or currently having something usually aren't hiding. It's a huge thing to tell someone you have been or are infected.

There are people who have herpes for their most or all of their lives (got it from their infected mothers at birth, were molested as children, etc.) and have never given it to anyone else. It's all about how to handle the symptoms.

Because many people have STDs and don't know, I just tell myself that everybody has herpes and then I act accordingly.

good luck,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 3/21/2012 6:14:39 PM >

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 8:08:39 PM

MistressDarkArt

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Have a complete panel done to get a baseline, then familiarize yourself with (and consistently practice) safer sex techniques. Barriers are your friend, as well as techniques that do not exchange fluids. There is a lot that can be done without worry.

Nice profile, btw. Take care of yourself, and good luck.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/21/2012 8:29:28 PM

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All the advice here is sound, but I'll add a bit more.

Educate yourself on ALL the STDs as well as their symptoms and treatment.

ASK these questions before intimacy......and for lab results too if need be. Anyone that's going to be that intimate with you would want your results too.

ALWAYS use barrier protection.....when you get into a committed relationship, wait until at least 3 test cycles before discussing whether or not to discontinue barrier protection.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/22/2012 3:05:49 AM

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A lot of good answers. Thanks everyone.
I was also thinking why she told me AFTERWARDS, and this is almost a breach of trust. Was she feeling guilty about it? But perhaps this can clear it up. We only had mutual oral sex without protection and making out. Then I said next time I'd love to fuck her. She said "ok, but only with a condom". Then I said "yeah, we don't want any unwanted surprises". Then she said "yeah, I once got a nasty STD from my then-boyfriend. I had nasty symptoms. Then I got tested and got a medication and it was gone in a week". I asked her "what was it?" but she said "I can't tell you in English". (She is Dutch).

Anyway, I'm gonna give her a call later today to see if I can get an answer and be able to translate it.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/22/2012 3:39:23 AM

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As others have said, visit your primary or a clinic just to be sure. The most important thing is to tell the staff the 100% truth, no matter what it is. They are not there to judge people, simply to help them. Good luck. :)

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/22/2012 3:50:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: young12serve

A lot of good answers. Thanks everyone.
I was also thinking why she told me AFTERWARDS, and this is almost a breach of trust. Was she feeling guilty about it? But perhaps this can clear it up. We only had mutual oral sex without protection and making out. Then I said next time I'd love to fuck her. She said "ok, but only with a condom". Then I said "yeah, we don't want any unwanted surprises". Then she said "yeah, I once got a nasty STD from my then-boyfriend. I had nasty symptoms. Then I got tested and got a medication and it was gone in a week". I asked her "what was it?" but she said "I can't tell you in English". (She is Dutch).

Anyway, I'm gonna give her a call later today to see if I can get an answer and be able to translate it.

As to a breach of trust:

Did you bring the subject up before hand? Did YOU tell her that you had been tested? If you initiated a conversation and she neglected to tell you or lied to you, I can see this being an issue. However, if you chose to hop in the sack in your blissful ignorance, then you've got no one to blame but yourself. I don't see any reason to tell someone that I once had the flu years before. Why would I? It doesn't affect them in the least.

People who have long term STDs (like herpes, HPV, etc.) often have to deal with other people who are ignorant about STDs. If she had told you - considering your lack of info - what would you have done anyway? Freak out because you didn't know what risk was actually confronting you? I have found that people who are upfront about sexuality and STDs are usually well informed and can discuss them without all the emotional drama that uninformed people have. They also are generally the safest people (in my experience).

I always tell my partners, "I will presume you have herpes, and you should presume I have it too." Do they? I don't know. (Even if they said no, they could be unaware or deliberately lying). Do I have it? You'll never know. But with that presumption, any further decisions are pretty darned easy.

Best,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 3/22/2012 3:52:35 AM >

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/22/2012 5:18:42 AM

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I don't want to go off the topic. Whether I should be blaming myself is not the point here.
It is a duty of every individual to inform the other if they are putting them at risk higher than average (higher then average, meaning STDs which are not common. I am not talking about HPV here).
You can blame me for being ignorant, but consider this logic: why discuss something that doesn't need discussion? Ex. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know I infected you with HPV, but you know, you probably already had it anyway, as 80% of people do". Even if it is true, it's gonna freak someone out, especially if this was a one-night stand. You know you are taking a risk with more common STDs, such as HPV, herpes. But if you are intentionally infecting someone with uncommon STDs without telling them (or telling them after the play) then that's running into criminal sphere. I am concerned with this scenario, not whether I am ignorant or lacking morals to bring it up beforehand.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/22/2012 8:12:52 AM

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ORIGINAL: young12serve

I don't want to go off the topic. Whether I should be blaming myself is not the point here.

I'm not talking about blame. I'm talking about responsibility. If you realize that you DIDN'T bring it up, that's good information to have. You can then remember this and take responsibility to bring it up next time. Without taking responsibility for the choices we make we are just victims.

It is a duty of every individual to inform the other if they are putting them at risk higher than average (higher then average, meaning STDs which are not common. I am not talking about HPV here).

I call bullshit. You are choosing to engage in high risk BEHAVIORS. That's why we use the word "risk". It's nobody's job to take care of you - except yours. You choose to put your hand in the cookie jar, don't be surprised if a monster bites it on occasion. Not everyone has the same morality you have. And I notice that you did not take on the responsibility to alleviate your partner's worries by saying, "Hey just FYI - I'm disease free." In this day and age, I find it difficult to believe that people don't realize that sex is a risky behavior. Heck people in the 1600s knew that even before the internet and magazines and television were blasting it everywhere.

You can blame me for being ignorant, but consider this logic: why discuss something that doesn't need discussion? Ex. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know I infected you with HPV, but you know, you probably already had it anyway, as 80% of people do". Even if it is true, it's gonna freak someone out, especially if this was a one-night stand. You know you are taking a risk with more common STDs, such as HPV, herpes.

What? I have no idea what you just said (of course it is after midnight and all but usually I'm good until about 1 a.m. I don't know what that all said though).

But if you are intentionally infecting someone with uncommon STDs without telling them (or telling them after the play) then that's running into criminal sphere.

Intentionally infecting someone is way different than having an outbreak and not realizing it. I'm just curious what an uncommon STD is. But that's a rhetorical question.

I am concerned with this scenario, not whether I am ignorant or lacking morals to bring it up beforehand.

I understand that, and you've gotten some good advice around that. Frankly, I think it's a mountain out of a molehill since she ALREADY TOLD YOU that she had something and it was treated and it went away (your own words). What's interesting to me is that you you don't trust her. If she said it went away, why are you not believing her? If it's the truth, it's still the truth. If it's a lie, she'll continue to lie. What is the point in calling her again?

You may not realize it but this could be one of those "opportunities for growth" in which you learn what to do for yourself so that next time you don't go through this angst.

good luck to you,
sunshine

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/22/2012 8:38:44 AM

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quote:

I asked her "what was it?" but she said "I can't tell you in English". (She is Dutch).

Anyway, I'm gonna give her a call later today to see if I can get an answer and be able to translate it.

Google can probably translate it for you but if not there are posters here who are Dutch.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/22/2012 11:29:25 AM

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I love my Sunnylicious longer than any STD would last!! :)

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/22/2012 2:59:29 PM

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If it was something that she was able to be treated for and was gone after (assuming she's telling the truth) then there was no breach of trust of any sort there. She wasn't putting you at any risk of it by having sexual contact with you, she was sick once and got cured.

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RE: Had sex with someone who was treated for an STD - 3/24/2012 3:27:02 AM

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Actually they were both putting each other at risk but I think the op is over reacting regarding the oral participant admitting to once catching an STD.

A direct question to the op; Have you been tested yet and if not why not?

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