RE: I dont get it.

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RE: I dont get it. - 1/12/2013 1:22:41 AM

naughtynick81

Posts: 890
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

I think many men get confused with seeing here that women think they don't have to do much work in their profiles and emails so this means why should they?

It seems that only men get criticised for lame profiles and emails.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

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RE: I dont get it. - 1/12/2013 1:50:30 AM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

That's silly. Just because profiles like that exist doesn't mean they're -successful-
Male Doms drift on here all the time complaining about sparse and badly articulated female sub profiles too.

(in reply to naughtynick81)

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RE: I dont get it. - 1/14/2013 12:29:46 PM

forcedsensuality

Posts: 70
Joined: 4/27/2012
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again and again I see this on here, going back to the profile

.. complaining about the profile, it reminds me of women saying "he was so nice in person when I finally met him too, but I didn't like his clothes .. that was the real deal-breaker"

I think the more interesting the person, particularly the more open to experimentation-with-others-type person, the more the profile is something in flux

and why should all that info be available to all participants ? where is the rule that says this is a slave market, everything revealed for the convenience of all the dominants and lurkers and jerk-offs ?

I have a generic part of emails I send, a second tier to the profile, my more real profile, that i send to someone i am interested in, once I've found I can trust them a bit. The people running the profiles through their computer-assisted sorting system might miss out on me based on per-conceptions she brings to reading my profile from her other quite different experiences.

I expect doms/dommes are busy, since they have a greater supply of subs.
But never forget that they already have an unsymmetrical bargaining position with doms of both sexes much more scarce than subs, and that imbalance can creep into their assessments, give them too many airs and graces too early in the game ...

I am always interested in how much effort they put into their replies to my emails and how much power they imagine they already command even as we are negotiating. Sloppy, lazy, two-word answers,.. not probably going to be a very interesting dynamic if they think they are already "always right".

(in reply to Alecta)

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Post #: 63

RE: I dont get it. - 1/14/2013 1:01:12 PM

forcedsensuality

Posts: 70
Joined: 4/27/2012
Status: offline

oh dear, there's some bad grammar in my previous post, i hope people get the gist.
Hope that terrible grammar isn't grounds for automatically de-listing or "ignore" by anyone (other than by someone who would actually do that, of course)
People don't need to agree with me, those ideas are just feelings I've developed over several months having dropped in on discussions here every so often.
I'm always interested in negative or positive responses to any idea I might have though.

yeah, and I'm not into being gagged,..

In my hypothetical semi-ideal dynamic, my making a mistake in my grammar => having a polite lady provide some in-person correction.
Not into a lady acting in anger if/when I point out some grammatical/logical mistake that she might have made though,
no, that would be a situation that could be handled much more creatively.

(in reply to forcedsensuality)

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RE: I dont get it. - 1/14/2013 2:04:20 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

If we use the book metaphor, profiles are blurbs. Some people pay attention to them, some don't. Some like to know what they're getting into without reading the first five chapters, others enjoy it. Each to their own. The crux of the arguments surrounding profiles is what do people who pay attention to profiles think, because obviously if the target audience don't pay attention to profiles it isn't an issue. It's rather ridiculous to complain that no-one shows you interest when you've done nothing to catch their interest.

People, when writing profiles, are also prone to leaving little clues about themselves that show up to those who care about them; for example, if the person looking at your profile is a stickler for grammar, they will notice bad grammar and it would bother them regardless of where and how they met you. Being bothered by that thing is not going to magically go away by them chatting to you or meeting you in person. The person who isn't bothered by grammar won't notice. Same with things like clutter in the background of your pics, or pics that show unsuspecting people in the same frame, spelling, ability to address a conversation, consistency....... There isn't a rule book that we follow when we read profiles, but there do tend to be similarities and that is what is offered up when people ask for help about their profiles, the majority consensus on what is likely to bother someone who pays attention to profiles. If you aren't into people who get bothered by these things, don't go out with them. Simple.

(in reply to forcedsensuality)

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Post #: 65