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Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 2:56:32 PM

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I recently started seeking an arrangement that hubby and I thought would be a really sweet deal for everyone involved, which would be basically free room and board in exchange for housework, cooking, etc.

I thought that even in a vanilla context this would be great, it would have been something I would have done when I was untethered and looking for a place to stay.

I even posted it up on my profile!

My question is, would you or a sub/slave you know ever consider a gig like this one? Room, board, utils, perks in exchange for doing the chores and shopping?

What would sweeten the deal for you if you were considering it?

Do I come off the wrong way with my offer (is it too good to be true? Too cumbersome? Too open-ended? doesn't fit schedule?)

In my mind it sounds amazing, especially since I'm open to being a keyholder/ owner/ mommy to the right person, but think I must need an outside perspective as to what I am doing wrong!!

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 3:56:41 PM

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
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~[Supposed to be a ]Fast Reply~

Not a submissive, so I have to look at it like this.

You are willing to meet an Internet stranger who comes with essentially no character references, no work references, and chance having him/her move into your home.
(Please tell me you don't have any children living with you or who come over to visit.)

This person would still have renter's rights, if I'm not mistaken (if you put anything in writing, message exchanges, e-mails, etc). You might want to look into that, whether a boarder without a lease can be easily removed if not complying with verbal 30-day notice to vacate, or whether you would have to get the police involved -- Do you really want to have to possibly go there? What if said boarder tries to have you charged with false imprisonment?

I bring this up because you have no idea how well and how thoroughly this person can do housework. This person may be a lousy housekeeper. Some people can ruin the laundry if they don't know what they're doing. What if his/her cooking stinks?
Are you planning on holding auditions? Because unless this individual is experienced in performing domestic duties (in which case he/she doesn't need to be working for just room & board), and can be vouched for, you are playing Russian roulette with your lives and with your peace of mind.

You refer to "housework, cooking, etc." Are you expecting your boarder to be a live-in servant who has no job outside the home?
If not, then how is he/she going to pay for his/her health insurance, car insurance, gas money -- or are you planning on allowing your boarder to have access to one of your vehicles? (Lone shopping trips?)
He/she might end up lounging on your couch half the day watching your large flatscreen TV, playing video games and YouTube videos.
Will he/she be allowed to have friends come over?

You don't make it sound as if you're looking for a poly arrangement. So you're okay with indulging non-sexual fetishes and doing non-sexual play scenes with this service sub?

I don't think either of you have really thought this through. If you had, you would bide your time by putting out feelers in the BDSM community going strictly by word of mouth. If not, then why can't you as a couple be vouched for?

DreamLady

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to Naksetamun)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 4:17:58 PM

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Dreamlady

I think you are a bitch.

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RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 4:42:04 PM

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From: Western MD
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Why, thank you, dear.

And coming from somebody who told a little to STFU and who asked your opinion? on a thread where she described what kind of Dominant qualities appealed to her.

You should take your own advice.

DreamLady

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Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to Cinnamongirl67)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 6:21:41 PM

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From: Apple County NY
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How to get responses? Offer a salary.

Being a live in maid or housekeeper is a paid position.

I don't know what you do for a living, but would you do it for free if all someone offered was a room and food?

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(in reply to dreamlady)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 6:49:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
This person would still have renter's rights, if I'm not mistaken (if you put anything in writing, message exchanges, e-mails, etc). You might want to look into that, whether a boarder without a lease can be easily removed if not complying with verbal 30-day notice to vacate, or whether you would have to get the police involved -- Do you really want to have to possibly go there? What if said boarder tries to have you charged with false imprisonment?

This is a very good point and should be taken seriously. There have been people post on these boards before who had this problem, and were legally stuck with someone in their home whom they no longer wanted there, due to rights conferred to renters.

(in reply to dreamlady)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 8:43:32 PM

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Dreamlady raises great points for both sides.

Personally, it's not something I would ever be interested in unless I knew and highly trusted the couple, or was absolutely desperate for a place to stay. The situation only sounds realistic for someone who is stuck in a vulnerable position - which could put either party in a very risky situation.

(in reply to Naksetamun)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 8:51:23 PM

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quote:

an arrangement that hubby and I thought would be a really sweet deal for everyone involved,

You were wrong

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RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 8:52:50 PM

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DreamLady and DesFIP s responses work for me.

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RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/22/2016 10:55:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67

Dreamlady

I think you are a bitch.

And a wonderful one at that.

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Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Cinnamongirl67)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/23/2016 3:48:33 AM

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you raise some good questions dreamlady.

I also felt bad when I was told STFU when I replied to another poster, I had to ask an internet junky what it meant and then felt worse when I found out what it meant.

and also to the OP:

I have done this kind of arrangement but only on the weekends and with somebody I was involved with at the time. i would never answer a personal ad on a site to do this kind of stuff if I didn't know the person.

(in reply to dreamlady)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/23/2016 7:11:57 AM

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From: Montana
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We are developing a similar situation with our winter house sitter. He's been living in the house, taking care of the chickens during the winter while we're in AZ. At the moment he pays the utilities. I pay for the chicken expenses.

Since our health is not great we've asked him to stay on even during the summer. That way we'll have someone there to pick up the place if we're both too sick to do that. We are not asking him to do all the cleaning or cooking. We prefer to do for ourselves for the most part. It's a big house and sometimes more than I can handle. I paid ladies $25 an hour to get the kitchen clean after years of having renters in the house. That cost $450. Then they came back to scrub the bathroom and wash down the living room walls. That was another $225. So please think when you make your offer as to how many hours of work this person will have to do, and how much you'd have to pay to have the same work done professionally.

In return our house sitter gets a place to live in an area he loves. He cleaned out the basement so he can have a wood shop down there. I found out he prefers duck eggs to chicken eggs so I have 4 ducklings on order for May. He and I have talked and decided that we'd like a small greenhouse. He'll build it and I'll supply the materials. He'll also be building the new duck house. So we are both getting things we want as I couldn't do the building part. He'll also get the house to himself 6 months of the year while we're south for the winter.

It's actually going to become more of a friends sharing expenses type thing. It'll just be nice to have someone there if and when we need someone. Best of all we won't have to look for another house sitter in the fall.

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Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to Naksetamun)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/23/2016 9:25:08 AM

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~FRing it~

DreamLady did raise a very valid point. I remember maybe a year ago on the news, they featured a story about a couple from California hired on some woman to be a live in housekeeper/nanny for their children. If I remember right, she was to get room, board, and a salary of sorts. The woman refused to work and essentially became a squatter in their home. She also refused to leave, so they were stuck with this woman in their home because she had tenancy rights until the eviction was decided in a court of law.

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(in reply to peppermint)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/23/2016 9:56:08 AM

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I personally wouldn't be interested in such an arrangement, but hypothetically speaking, I wouldn't get involved (on either side) unless there was a written contract involved.

Yup, completely non-sexy, but definitely a wise thing to do for both sides, IMO.

(in reply to Danemora)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/23/2016 10:09:50 AM

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From: Glasgow, Scotland
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i don't really enjoy housework in a submissive context, but i guess it'd be a nice arrangement if i ever found myself homeless.
Personally i'd rather pay, partly or wholly, in sexual services. But that's just what i'm used to. and not everyone is into that

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RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/23/2016 10:42:04 AM

DarcyAusten7373

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I'm constantly getting offers on here by subs who want to do housework. Sometimes that's all they want to do. Apparently they think it is demeaning work and want to do it, or just like to help other people.
I am very careful about meeting people on line, but here we are on this site. Dreamlady has a point, you wouldn't how good they would be at keeping house, but the one sub had references (from his mistresses). I didn't put anything about housekeeping on my page and wasn't interested in it.
Actually I don't think it is a bad idea if you get to know the person and felt comfortable with them before hand. But I did read about someone who put an ad on Craigslist and it turned out to be a nightmare for both parties.

(in reply to Nanako)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/24/2016 10:26:43 AM

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This has so little chance of turning out well, and a huge possibility that it is a disaster waiting to happen.
Too many 'what ifs' for your offer to be a sweet deal—for either of us!

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
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(in reply to Naksetamun)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/24/2016 2:39:57 PM

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I will say it is possible. There are poly households out there with many different dynamics. I actually just spent 2 years in Germany with a woman for something similar. It was a miracle that my work had an open position in Germany so I could move without losing my job. A rare instance when work and my kink life aligned!

I think for it to work though you need to know the person versus screening people you have not meet before. In my case I had known the woman for 4+ years. We were good friends and were comfortable with each other.

On the other hand if it was my house, I would never let someone stay in my house whom I did not know well. Just my point of view. I remember my brother let a girl move in with him (they were both in their 40s) after only knowing her 2 months. On the third month she threw a temper tantrum, started throwing objects and breaking things and ended up doing $12,000 damage to his tools and the house. This was a vanilla relationship. She was just batshit crazy and it took that long to find out.

I took a peak at you profile, one concern would be your young age. I will call it maturity level. I am not saying you are not mature, but there is a difference between someone in their early 20’s versus mid 40’s. The older the person, the more settled they become (generally speaking), they are more focused in life, and have a better grasp on what they seek in life. It has been my experience that poly households with older people tend to have less friction/disagreements. There are always exceptions to the rule. But I have not met many twenty year-olds who are happy to stay home to be the servant 24/7.

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(in reply to Naksetamun)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/26/2016 5:09:45 AM

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Sorry yall. I had this set to email on reply and no emails came when you replied!

Thanks for the concern from various people about legality / safety / etc despite that not being the topic,

The one called dreamlady posted a lot of things I would typically say "moot" to, because all were answered in the original ad was linked in the profile for anybody really wanting to comment... Many if not all of those concerns were addressed in it. And as mentioned, yes it is something I would have done quite happily when I wasn't married.

I've done quite a bit of research about the legality. And yes we have thought extensively about it, for about three years.

I think the fact that I did not just say yes to any of the people that have responded should attest for how carefully we are going about it, and not just picking up the first kinda sorta match. Why so little faith? Why so much fear and doubt?

Yes I have had plenty of interest in this, and have run a couple background checks and called some previous landlords/ references (cmon. Its almost exactly like hiring for a job / picking up a renter or any other roommate. Hello?!?) but I cant find anyone that I see as COMPATIBLE.

Not romantically, but in a "we will live near each other and speak all the time" kinda way.

(in reply to Naksetamun)

RE: Would any subs ever consider.... - 2/26/2016 5:18:13 AM

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Thank you for your honest reply. I understand that our age can be a red flag. Unfortunately that number's something I can only fix by waiting

And I've met plenty of 40 (60, 80) year olds that still act like 5 year olds too!!!

Anyway, I'm glad you had a positive experience, it seems like you must have spoken with or known this woman for a while before making such a change!

(in reply to DocStrange)

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