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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 1:01:36 PM   
leadership527


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Punishment is all part of the play here, again I find myself standing in error for not clarifying that and for this I do apologize.
Yup, and that changes everything. It's a "funishment" question not punishment. Those are VASTLY different things. The first is seeking to make everyone all tingly and the second is seeking to cause behavioral modification (or vent rage, or provide catharsis, or probably several other things). In that light, I'd say anything goes and I'm unqualified comment or add any ideas to the mix.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to ImaginativeWhims)
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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 1:20:24 PM   
Marc2b


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So many different people... so many different dynamics... one size does not fit all.

As for myself I'll just say: There is nothing wrong in getting irked or angry with a displeasing slave whether it is due to failure to perform up to standards or deliberate disobedience. How one expresses that anger is another matter. A master who looses his temper is no master at all. A man who cannot master himself has no business thinking he can master a woman.

As for the slave's point of view, I can only speak for one in particular: knowing that master is dissapointed with her is the punishment. The whip? The whip is atonement. More than a few hours of the silent treatment from master is enough to have her come crawling on hands and knees, the whip in her mouth, to lay it at my feet and tearfully request "correction."

Unfortunately this doesn't happen enough for my liking because she doesn't disappoint all that often... so I'll just whip her for the fun of it.

< Message edited by Marc2b -- 2/15/2011 1:24:02 PM >


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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 2:13:55 PM   
strangedesire


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImaginativeWhims

You have that one little thing that just irks the shit out of you... and she just did it. Maybe she forgot for a moment that it's the one thing that you absolutely cannot stand, maybe she's in a foul mood for whatever reason...



I take a deep breath or two. I think about the consequences it might have on our relationship if I punished her for something minor, for something unintentional, or for being so emotionally on the rocks that she's lashing out without thinking. I might offer correction: something along the lines of, "Baby, could you not put the knives in the spoon drawer again? I almost stabbed my finger."

Then I move on. Because if I'm getting so worked up over something minor, I'm the one with the problem, not her.

Perhaps a few session with a good therapist might help you deal with the inexplicably strong emotional reaction that comes up when you have to repeat yourself?


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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 2:55:35 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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You guys are some bad dudes.

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 3:01:33 PM   
golemx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

I can't talk about the punishment, because it's just too horrific to relive, but by god, I replace the toilet paper now.

For your sake, edge falling over the top I hope!

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 4:34:53 PM   
oceanwynds2


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I am not pro punishment. I am extremely picky now on who I will serve. If a prospective dom told me that his cardinal rule was to never have to repeat himself, I would simply say get over yourself.

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 5:31:21 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

A master who looses his temper is no master at all. A man who cannot master himself has no business thinking he can master a woman.


I like this

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 5:37:23 PM   
barelynangel


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Sorry but i would say a Man who never loses his temper is a man who is dead.  Men lose their temper and it has nothing to do with self-mastery -- HOW they lose their temper is what speaks to their control.   I would say any Man who tells you he has never lost his temper is a man who is lying to you.

angel

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 5:44:23 PM   
dahlng


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImaginativeWhims

... and now that I have it, I'd like to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for complying as requested.

Now, that wasn't too bad was it?!

Bullshit!

The meat and potatoes:

Looking down at her there on her knees in front of me, eyes on the floor, it's so quiet that all I can hear are the birds chirping outside the window and her soft sobbing. I haven't raised a hand to her, nor have I taken off my belt, but she kneels there crying nonetheless because she knows she's broken my Cardinal Rule: Don't make me repeat myself more than once.

I like to think myself a fair man, I tend to reward good behavior and a job well done lavishly. If I asked that something be done a specific way or within a specific time frame, and my expectations are exceeded dramatically, I've even been known to ask my pet what fantasy I can fulfill for such wonderful work.

On the other hand my punishments are equally dramatic... small infractions leading to regular activities being done while blindfolded or having a single limb tied... larger infractions leading to the exclusion of favored items and activities.

Break my Cardinal Rule, and the most painful, destructive, soul-wrenching punishment will fall on you: My Disappointment.

To Disappoint your Master is to lose a small portion of that connection with Him, to distance yourself from His attentions.

The query:

Fellow members/friends/family of CM I pose to you two scenarios -

For those Standing: How severe was it for them when they knowingly broke your Cardinal Rule? (I won't ask what it may be for some will not wish to share.)

For those kneeling: How severe was the punishment when you knowingly broke Their Cardinal Rule? (You just had to test the waters, didn't you? You just had to know how far you could push...)

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 6:41:48 PM   
IrishMist


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Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

Sorry but i would say a Man who never loses his temper is a man who is dead

I have to agree with this

quote:

You have that one little thing that just irks the shit out of you... and she just did it. Maybe she forgot for a moment that it's the one thing that you absolutely cannot stand, maybe she's in a foul mood for whatever reason.

It's called 'human nature', and it happens to EVERYONE, male/female/Dominant/submissive.

As for the rest, if she's doing it simply because of a bad hair day...I would show her the door and wish her good luck.



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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 7:29:03 PM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImaginativeWhims

For those Standing: How severe was it for them when they knowingly broke your Cardinal Rule? (I won't ask what it may be for some will not wish to share.)

Accidents happen (if the sincerity of effort/remorse is discernible).

Repeated accidents or an inability to apply a rule to life-behavior is either dealt with by structured correction or is determined to be a divide unlikely to be crossed and things get chalked up to incompatibility.

Willful breaking of rules would likely be a final straw.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 2/15/2011 7:32:21 PM >


_____________________________

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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to ImaginativeWhims)
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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 7:44:28 PM   
IronBear


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No comment because I refuse to become involved in playing head games or any similar gamed for that matter. I limit my time on line. The type of post the OP has posted, does not generate any interest in me other that to say.. Thanks but no thanks.


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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 8:36:00 PM   
windchymes


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Joined: 4/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImaginativeWhims

Well, did I smack the beehive or what?

I was mostly shooting for...
quote:

I can't talk about the punishment, because it's just too horrific to relive, but by god, I replace the toilet paper now.
... type scenarios, as I know they're out there. Was more looking for sticky situations that both sides of the Kneel found themselves in...



That was a joke.....there was no punishment, and I replace the toilet paper when I'm there because it's important to him. but when I'm not there, he's on his own.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 10:16:02 PM   
nakedplaything


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‘ "femininity, traditionally, is associated with a certain amount of vulnerability and weakness." So basically, you have inherently stronger men and inherently weaker women.’

No, that’s not what I meant. For a start you obviously ignored the part where I said ‘I think women are stronger than men in many ways’. I said ’traditionally’, that does NOT mean I think women are weaker. I was referring to society’s traditional, conditioned, pre conceived interpretations of femininity. I was also referring to femininity on a  physical basis – i.e. we associate vulnerability etc with femininity because women ARE usually physically weaker than men.

‘"For a man to be made to wear highly feminine clothing is humiliating for him, because it reduces his masculinity." What you're saying here is that moving along the spectrum from masculine to feminine is undesirable, and therefore humiliating. The built-in value judgment here is that it's better to be masculine than feminine.’

Wrong!  The built in value judgment is that it is better to be masculine than feminine if you have no desire to be feminine. No, I am not saying moving from masc to fem is undesirable. I am saying it is undesirable if it is forced , and THAT’S  what makes it humiliating. Additionally, feminine clothing is also revealing – skintight items, see through items etc etc, much more revealing than the clothes men usually wear, and as anyone knows, forced exposure of ones body is inherently humiliating, so for a man, being forced to wear feminine clothing is humiliating him because it exposes him more than he chooses to be exposed, and more than he is used to being exposed. Then there is the fact that the average man would look quite ridiculous in feminine clothing because it is not designed to look good on him, and being forced to look ridiculous is also humiliating.

‘"it definately makes her powerful over men, because of the strong effect it has on us sexually.” It suggests that women cannot be powerful unless they are sexually attractive.’
Wrong! It suggests this to YOU. It would not suggest it to someone less reactionary and more rational because they would know I was simply making a statement on how sexually powerful a woman’s clothes can be, and that I wasn’t saying that is the ONLY way a woman can be powerful. You have simply assumed that I think that is the only way a woman can be powerful, when their is actually no evidence for that. So are you disagreeing that a woman’s clothes can have a powerful effect on men sexually? If you are then you clearly live under a rock and have no understanding of male sexuality and the things that turn men on. Has no one ever told you that men are highly susceptible to visual stimulation sexually?  
‘It suggests that women don't have any inherent power - they have to use their sexual wiles to get power from men. Needless to say, telling dominant women that they can't be powerful without male approval tends to piss them off. Also, feminists. Also, lesbians.’
and……
‘It suggests that female power is limited to spheres where women can exercise their sexuality. Which is funny, because I don't usually see female CEOs wearing lingerie on the job.’
Again, you assume I mean that is the only way women can be powerful, when there is no evidence that’s what I meant. OBSERVING AND ACKNOWLEDGING THAT A WOMAN CAN HAVE A POWERFULL EFFECT  ON A MAN  SEXUALLY BY THE WAY  SHE DRESSES IS NOT AN OBSERVATION OF THE NUMBER OF WAYS A WOMAN CAN BE POWERFULL, IT IS SIMPLY AN OBSERVATION THAT THAT IS ONE WAY IN WHICH SHE CAN BE POWERFULL.
‘It ignores the fact that women have sex drives of their own. Otherwise, wouldn't sexually attractive men also have this kind of power over women?’
No they wouldn’t, because I am speaking in terms of VISUAL STIMULATION! And It is common knowledge that men are stimulated and turned on more by visual stimulation, while women are turned on more by emotional and psychological stimulation. When was the last time you got turned on simply by looking at something?  -  it happens to men on a daily basis. Why on earth would I believe that women do not have sex drives of their own?
‘Re: the point above, don't try the "women can control themselves and men can't" line. That's rape-apologist bullshit.’
WTF? What planet are you on lady? I make a simple observation of the fact that, as men are very visual creatures, a woman’s clothing can have a powerful effect on them sexually, and you make the bizarre, twisted and gigantic leap of logic that I am saying men cant control themselves, and therefore am making apologies for rapists!!!???  How dare you. I have spent more of my life torturing myself with the injustices, stereotypes and misogyny that rape victims are up against than I care to remember. I have written to all manner of people about the appalling treatment rape victims can receive. You seriously need to get out more and not think so much!!
You think your so clever don’t you, the patronising tone of your message makes that clear. However in actual fact, after reading this, it should be clear to you that you are way off the mark in every respect, and that your psychoanalysation of me couldn’t have been any more wrong if you tried. The irony is that you said there is a problem with the way I relate to women, but in actual fact it is completely clear that it is YOU who has a problem in the way you relate to men, sexuality and gender. You are the most reactionary, overly sensitive in relation to gender issues and extremist feminist woman I have ever corresponded with. Like I said, you seriously need to get out more, not analyze so much, and not take everything so seriously. You say in your profile that you don’t hate men. And I believe you, but you definitely are far too ready and keen to jump on things that men say and interperate them as sexist/mysoginistic etc etc.  your completely inacurate psychoanalysis of me shows this. You have a massive chip, on your shoulder regarding gender and sexuality issues, which explains your extreme, inaccurate response to my post.
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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/15/2011 10:18:17 PM   
LillyBoPeep


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what in the world is this stuff doing here? this belongs in your pantyhose thread.
and sadly, you still don't get it. =p

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/16/2011 2:13:19 AM   
Nanako


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

A master who looses his temper is no master at all. A man who cannot master himself has no business thinking he can master a woman.


I like this


And I think it's silly fantasy logic that belongs in Gor ^^
your mileage may vary

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Sorry but i would say a Man who never loses his temper is a man who is dead.  Men lose their temper and it has nothing to do with self-mastery -- HOW they lose their temper is what speaks to their control.   I would say any Man who tells you he has never lost his temper is a man who is lying to you.

angel


Pretty much this.
Nobody is perfect. Seek imperfections in others, and run away when none are to be found

My position on punishment;

I believe the right to punish me is something that any dom of mine should have. This is a personal preference and no judgement of the relationships of others. I don't have any interest in "funishment" in the sense of a sub deliberately acting out, in order to be punished. I'm not masochistic in most senses, and don't enjoy being punished. However I guess like most good subs, I do enjoy seeing my dom happy, and if administering punishment makes them happy, then I'm happy to submit to it.

I believe a (my) dom has the right to administer punishment at any time if they feel like it, if that's a type of play they enjoy, though I would find it distressing if a dom punished me on their whims, and claimed it was for any other reason (like, made up/roleplayed an offense, or looked for any tiny opportunity to lash out). If a dom wanted to punish me for his own sadistic amusement, and is honest about that, it seems fine to me.

I know myself. I can be lazy, cheeky, and blunt sometimes, which are probably qualities that doms do not find appealing. I see it as the dom's right to correct me when I have truly made an error, forgotten to do something I should have, or offended someone. I'm still a pretty young person, especially in the context of this scene, and I don't have the life experience to avoid a lot of mistakes that older adults may not make, so I appreciate being taught.

I do remember reading some posts on the subject a while back. For some, punishment is forgiveness. When the sub is punished for a wrongdoing, they have "served their time" and the issue is dealt with, the sub is forgiven. No grudges are borne and no lasting harm is (should be) done to the relationship. This is an opinion I generally share


< Message edited by Nanako -- 2/16/2011 2:24:23 AM >

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/16/2011 2:33:43 AM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

And I think it's silly fantasy logic that belongs in Gor ^^
your mileage may vary


Here is the amazing part of all this.


kalikshama... the one you said whose logic was silly and belonged in gor, isnt gorean, as far as i know.

angel, the one you agreed with, was owned by a gorean man.

Isnt that simply fascinating?



_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/16/2011 2:48:04 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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To be honest with you, I'm neither Standing nor kneeling. In fact I'm Sitting (in my chair at my desk), I'm part of the "for those sitting" crowd.

Okay Sparky (sarcastic nickname i call strangers who demand my attention and get it) I'm certain somebody here is willing to share with you Great Cardinal Rules such as "no tampons down the toilet" or "No Snowballing Master with his own cum after oral sex" and the ever so popular "Don't Kiss Master until you brush your teeth after your tongue has been up his ass", which is very similar to "Don't wipe the pillow cases with your dirty fingers after they been up Masters Ass"....

A little humor with a little bit of truth, rolled together with a sarcastic blend.

Disappointing Master...think this one is a universal understood bad thing to have happen.

Okay, I get it, you're just as Dramatic with punishment as you are for rewarding good behavior and a job well done.

I suppose somebody might even have you topped in the Dramatic Departs, it's hard telling, I wonder if somebody bought their slave a new BMW just for making their whole house spic and span, only to toss her ass in the basement chained to the wall for a year for accidentally spilling coffee on the freshly cleaned carpeting the very next week. (Now that, I would consider Truly Dramatic)

Well since you're not asking what my own Cardinal rules are, I will give you my honest response regarding punishment. It was soul wrenching pain in knowing how bad they screwed up, without me ever laying a finger upon them. In fact, I refused to punish them in any way shape or form. This was all done through the magical power of words spoken.

Words have a way of bringing life or death to people's soul, and this just ain't some BDSM D/s dynamic concept either.

BTW, I myself tend to use what I call the "three time rule", if I find that I have to repeat myself three times then it's time to get dramatic about shit. I also can and do get pissed off at times. Anybody who's tried throwing the so called Masters don't loose their temper rule card, I assure you I reminded them very quickly that above all else..."I'm a human being complete with a full range of real emotions", fuck that noise. For example, If I'm pissed off I may or may not raise my voice and yell (all depends upon the moment and circumstances involved).

I have my own set of ethics and morals, call it my own sense of style if you will. I am what I am, and, I will be what I will be.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to ImaginativeWhims)
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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/16/2011 3:13:04 AM   
Sundowner


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FR

I don't think I've ever punished in the sense I think you mean.

I've made it clear I disapprove or - worse for her - I've shown anger; but I've never punished.

Compliance has come - I think - from fear. Not fear of punishment but fear of losing my respect and confidence.


Quite separately, totally different thing, I've tied and beaten and "punished". Hopefully in creative ways as well as simple ways, hopefully pushing the right buttons to create excitement and pleasure, often with at least a superficial reason, perhaps a manufactured reason, always simply for the (mutual) erotic fun of it. But that's not really punishment, rather it's play - or possibly love.



(in reply to ImaginativeWhims)
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RE: I demand your undivided attention. - 2/16/2011 6:21:33 AM   
Marc2b


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Joined: 8/7/2006
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quote:

I like this


Thanks.



_____________________________

Do you know what the most awesome thing about being an Atheist is? You're not required to hate anybody!

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 40
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